They say there are two types of women in the world:
- the ones who walk into a room and say, “Here I am!”
- the ones who walk into a room and say, “Oh, there you are!”
Of course we would all prefer to be the second type, but in reality, most of us are not.
When I think of the woman who says, “Here I am!” I feel embarrassed for her–you may feel something stronger. How childish to demand attention! How vain and selfish! We don’t want to be like that. Yet if we are honest, we must admit that deep within us, there’s a little girl’s heart that would also love to be noticed.
Instead, we feel invisible.
We try to play down our need for attention. After all, it is more honorable–and grown up–to be more concerned with others than we are with ourselves. We do our best to be selfless, but our human nature is strong. As much as we want to focus on the ones we love and serve, our core thoughts are really all about us, no matter which type of woman we are.
The Classic may say, “Oh, there you are!” This Refined Beauty is very interested in others. As a business minded woman, however, she may be more focused on making a sale, completing a task or giving advice than she is developing personal relationships. Like all of us, this woman must be especially careful not to let her desire to be needed overrule the actual need she is trying to meet. We should all try to keep in mind that our friends also want to be needed, and sharing our own needs do not make us weak.
The Natural may say, “Oh, there you are!” As hard-working as she is, you would think the Casual Beauty would enter a room looking for a prospect as well, but this girl is very much relationship oriented and her sincere desire is to help others. Of course she, too, finds her significance in the service she offers, but she truly does value friendships. We should all be more focused on the heart of those we are with while being careful not to take pride in what we offer them.
The Romantic may say, “Oh, there you are!” The Glamorous Beauty has a gift for hospitality. She does more than enter a room looking for you, she also prepared the room for you with candlelight, music and wonderful food! We should all take such efforts to make others comfortable. There is one thing we forget, however, when we focus too much on other people and that is: If we are not comfortable with ourselves, others are not comfortable around us. When we are not at peace with how much we sacrifice, it is not pleasant for others to receive from us.
There must be a balance. I challenge you with this thought today: is selfless really all that honorable? Are we the “better type of woman” if are not honest about our own needs?
I think not.
Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself. -Matthew 22: 37-39
While it may be childish to demand attention from others, I do not think the need for attention is wrong. In fact, I feel that we dishonor God, others and ourselves when we neglect ourselves. The commandment to love our neighbor, is to love AS we love ourselves. We cannot love others well if we do not even love ourselves.
And we cannot love ourselves well if we have not accepted the love of God.
Perhaps this is why He tells us to love Him first. If we love Him, we have accepted His love and our search for significance can be satisfied. When we believe He values us, we are empowered us to love ourselves and others. This is the only way I know to keep a proper balance between selflessness and selfishness.
Some say there are two types of women in the world, I say there are six. We have discussed how three styles of beauty tend to handle their innate search for significance. Next week let’s take a look at how the other 3 types of women may enter a room with a powerful presence that says, “Here I am!”
Catrina Welch in an Inspirational Author, Speaker, Image- and Life-Coach. Her passion is to help women and girls discover Confident Beauty, which doesn’t wear off like makeup does! Her latest book, Confident Beauty, Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul is now available as an audiobook.
Catrina will be hosting a Branding your Image Supreme MakeOver on Saturday, May 14th from 9-11am This image assessment class is designed to help business and professional women simplify their life with a Confident Closet. To learn more and save your seat, please click here.