The moment a woman becomes a mother, her life changes. The very thought of life within her alters her existence. Caring for, nurturing and meeting the needs of her child becomes her purpose and priority. With the cry of his arrival, her needs no longer bear weight compared to his. Whether it’s the dark of night or the dawn of day, every tear he sheds arrests her heart until she can settle him down..
Every parent wants their offspring to become healthy, successful, independent men and women of good character. We may not have the best of resources ourselves, but we do the best we can with the physical, emotional and financial strength that we have to offer.
Like delivering them into the world, sending them out on their own can be extremely painful–especially when they are unhappy or unhealthy.
When my first child moved out, he was not a happy young man. My mama-heart received his anger and rebellion as personal rejection and failure. Granted, there were drugs involved, and I was very naive to the depth of the problems, so the emotional turmoil was extra intense. Part of me was refusing to believe that so much could be going wrong in the life of a child I had such high hopes for. The other part of me was tormented by my lack of control over the choices that were being made and my inability to fix–or even understand–the issues.
I became just as miserable as he was.
In fact, I became so consumed with this one child’s issues that I wouldn’t even hear my other children speaking to me. “What did you say?” I’d ask them until eventually they started saying “never mind” before they even finished their requests. I was neglecting the kids I had left at home for the sake of the one who wanted nothing to do with me. And to what avail? My obsession with the miserable child was producing nothing except more misery.
I had to learn to let go of control because in reality, I had none.
I share this story with you on Mother’s Day weekend simply because I know many of you also suffer with obsession over your grown child’s choices. When they are little, we don’t need a special holiday to tell us we are amazing. (We know we are because we wipe their tears and change their diapers and make everything better again!) But as they fight for their own identity or even pelvic physiotherapy, we feel as if we lose our own. It’s during these times that we could really use a little Mother’s Day love, yet these are the times that it’s least likely they will be making us cute cards and placing wilted flowers on our pillows.
If that’s where you are at today, I want to encourage you to keep being Mom anyway.
We can’t fix all our childrens’ problems, but we can pray for them and believe in them. It only takes one cheerleader to change a person’s life and there is no-one who believes in our children’s success as much as their mother. Keep cheering. Your child may not think you are amazing right now, but that doesn’t mean you are not, so don’t let his emotional state influence yours. Instead, keep influencing him because there’s nothing more beautiful than a mom who holds onto her joy even in the face of misery.
Happy Mother’s Day.
Catrina Welch in an Inspirational Author, Speaker, Image- and Life-Coach. Her passion is to help women and girls discover Confident Beauty, which doesn’t wear off like makeup does! Her latest book, Confident Beauty, Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul is now available as an audiobook.
GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR WOMEN ON CAPE COD:
Catrina will be hosting a Branding your Image Supreme MakeOver on Saturday, May 14th from 9-11am This image assessment class will be focused on helping business and professional women simplify their life with a Confident Closet. Non-professional women are welcome to attend as well. To learn how you can get in for FREE and to save your seat, please click here or contact Catrina today.