My whole world was rocked the day my first husband left me.
Pregnant and alone, his betrayal made me feel ugly, unwanted and self-conscious.
Before then, even though I was a hairdresser, I never really focused on my own appearance because, honestly, I was afraid of being shallow or vain. Suddenly it was a struggle to stand in front of a mirror all day; I became extremely aware of my own pathetic reflection.
It’s easy to tell a pregnant woman she is beautiful–especially when you feel bad about her obvious rejection. I heard “You’re adorable” a lot. But what resounded in my mind was, “they know you are a throw-away-wife.”
Yet I craved their compliments–especially after my status changed to “single mom” and my big belly was no longer “cute”– so, I set out on a mission to prove myself worthy of attention again. After all, I knew all the tricks of the trade, I was a licensed cosmetologist:
the makeup and spa treatments.
but nothing changed how I felt about myself on the inside.
I call that time in my life my Beauty Battle.
Every woman faces an emotional battle over her image at some point in her life. But I didn’t know that, because not every woman handles her Confidence Conflicts the same way that I did.
I was striving for beauty, but some women hide under oversized sweatshirts, tattoos, extra weight or heavy makeup.
Others de-value or laugh-off their pain.
Still others use stimulants, shut down their hearts, work real hard, or focus on everyone else’s needs but their own.
Yet the battle rages on.
Maybe you are facing this struggle for your identity right now. Perhaps you are determined, defeated, desolate or desperate like I was. I hope that you, too, are learning that our mere human efforts to suppress or survive is not enough.
Don’t you wish you could overcome self-consciousness and become self-confident?
It happened for me, and it can happen for you!
I found my true self after becoming a certified image consultant and learning about the six styles of beauty. I finally understood that I wasn’t alone! Other women feel rejection as deeply as I did, but not all women are alike.
Not in their appearance,
Not in their dreams or desires.
Understanding that women need to handle Confidence Conflicts according to their personality helped me to stop comparing myself to other women (especially the new wife…) in fact it changed my whole outlook on life and how I helped my clients. It even inspired me to become a biblical life-coach so that I would be better equipped to help others in their Beauty Battle. Because
Beauty that is more than skin deep.
We spend a lot of time and money on what’s in the mirror, but we don’t really talk about it. Isn’t that why, “only your hairdresser knows for sure”?
But beauty is something we freely read about.
That’s why I wrote about it in Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul.
There is hope, and every woman deserves to know there is a power and purpose for HER beauty, no matter which style she is.