My first husband left me ten days after discovering that we were about to start the family we dreamed of. Pregnant and alone, I began to battle with my self-confidence. I had lived my life for the man who suddenly decided other women were more valuable to him than his commitment to me.
People tell pregnant women they are beautiful. Friends who knew my story gave me plenty of affirmation, but in my head all I heard was that I was a “throw-away-wife.” When my status changed to “single mom” the battle within me raged even more. It became inappropriate to comment on my beauty (compliments are for little girls and pregnant women, but not for grown women!) and the silence left me craving the attention. I set out to prove my worth- only to find that nothing satisfied except my Maker’s approval.
I later found a wonderful and faithful man who helped me raise my son as his own, and we had more children together. One of them was born with Trisomy 18, and we lost her after only three weeks of life. This emotional and spiritual battle was far different than the beauty battle. Thank God that Ronny and I knew how to lean on God before facing our loss, or I am not sure we would have made it. 90% of parents who loose a child end their marriage. We choose to find our strength in the Word, and to help each other. The grief brought us to a much deeper level of understanding of each other and of God’s unfailing love.
After a time of healing a passion burned in each of us to share what we learned with the world. That’s when my writing began, and my career in the beauty industry became a venue to use my training as a Biblical life coach. Each challenge we face equips us for something, sometimes we don’t know what it is until it all comes together. I feel like I have been given a belt full of tools. I used to wonder which one to use; now I understand they all go together for God’s glory, not my own.