Are you Just Like your Mother?

Social Skills 101: Never tell a woman she is old, overweight or just like her mother.

While not every woman is sensitive about all of these areas, we do all have an emotional attachment to each of them. Personally, I would love to be just like my mother–she’s beautiful inside and out. Not all moms, however, are as great of a role model as mine. When I catch myself doing or saying something like my mom would, I chuckle. You might cringe. If you never knew your mom, you might wonder if you are like her. Our moms are a big part of our identity.

family-515530_640It is not strictly genetics.

Any women deeply involved in our lives–especially in our formative years–are a huge influence on who we become and that influence is an important factor in your personal image identity (Img.ID). In fact, If you have a combination Img.ID, more than likely your secondary clothing personality is a reflection of the feminine influence in your life.

Most “image issues” stem from having personal preferences (how you like to portray your image) that do not follow the guidelines of your physical stature or your primary clothing personality. We naturally form our opinions on what feminine beauty should be through personal experience. When we were raised by a woman with a different Img.ID than us, we often respond to her style much like we respond to being told, “you are just like your mother.” If you, like me, receive that as a good thing, then you may be more apt to live in your secondary personality than your first. This may hold you back from being who you really are. (I acted as a Casual Beauty until I reached my thirties, when I allowed the Exotic side to come out.) If you cringe at the thought of being like your mom, you may very well be fighting with yourself as well.

As young girls, we watch the influential women in our lives and decide if we want to be like them or not. Perhaps your mom was a Classic who taught you to keep a proper and professional wardrobe but you just wanted to be carefree and feminine with your look. Your choice is to comply with her style and feel confined and constricted, or to choose your own manner of expressing your individuality. When this decision is made in the teenage years, it is often accompanied by rebellion unless the emotional attachment is dealt with properly.

Mothers and daughters are a reflection of each other, but they are not each other.

We must learn to BE and LET BE in our own families. A lot of times your unique style includes many aspects of the feminine influences in your life (perhaps I should blog about the sisterhood…) mixed in with what you like. But for now, consider if you might need to change any image ideas that worked for the women you long to emulate but do not work well for you.

This Mother’s Day, I encourage you to consider which Img.ID you and your mom are. Do your styles compete with each other or complete each other? Are you willing to let go of any separation anxiety and allow your differences and similarities to compliment each other as individuals? How about your own daughter(s)? How is your style influencing hers? If she is “just like you” are you allowing her to still be herself? And if she is very different than you, are you willing to let her be?


Typically, each clothing personality has a particular type of fashion that is most important to them and something that they need to be careful not to get out of balance in order to achieve their personal “look.”


  • Priority: to be well put together and ladylike
  • Look: timeless, but fashionable
  • Caution: can become boring, predictable, too conservative


  • Priority: comfort!
  • Look: sporty, casual or “country”
  • Caution: can become masculine, outdated, too plain or dumpy


  • Priority: to have the latest look; accessorizing
  • Look: high fashion, trendy, modern
  • Caution: can be cheap, tacky or lacking in class


  • Priority: to be dainty or “girly”
  • Look: very feminine, but innocent vs. sexy
  • Caution: can be too reserved and shy; also can become very outdated


  • Priority: others! Or to hide self
  • Look: curvy, soft and feminine
  • Caution: can tend to look cheap or provocative if not careful


  • Priority: comfort, control
  • Look: petite, sporty, bouncy, fun
  • Caution: can become masculine, outdated, too plain or dumpy


Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose personal experience with overcoming rejection, betrayal and loss–as well as her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach–is empowering women to BE and LET BE.

Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at


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