All posts by Catrina

About Catrina

Catrina is the founder of Confident Beauty Image- and Life-Coaching. She is an image- and life-coach with a passion for women's issues, especially those that create confidence conflicts such as rejection, betrayal and loss. She is available for speaking engagements and can be contacted at catrina@catrinawelch.com.

5 Practices for Overcoming Self-Consciousness

It seems obvious that the tendency to compare your life with others’ is second nature and cannot be stopped.

IMG_2099No wonder the social media has created such an epidemic of self-consciousness. With each visit to Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest… we find ourselves faced with the temptation to compare our lives to the pictures we see. We know, of course,  that what we are only shown the “postable” parts of our friends’ lives, but we still compare what we see to the parts of our lives that we would never post.

And they compare their “un-postables” with our “postables”. Continue reading 5 Practices for Overcoming Self-Consciousness

Easter Changes Everything

Imagine how the friends of Jesus felt the day after His crucifixion. They were so sure He was the Messiah, the One sent to become their king and free them from Rome. He called Himself the Way, the Truth and the Life, yet in the reality of that moment, it looked like His “way” was to suffer brutal judgment and death!

Faith: the substance of things hoped for

IMG_2089Reality is sometimes rocks our faith and twists our beliefs with doubt and confusion. Perhaps you, too, have had a dream suddenly become a nightmare? Has your hope ever turned to despair? Maybe your future was looking bright but then crisis hit, confusion came or tensions arose and now you’re not sure what is true anymore.

I am a mother who has grieved the loss of a daughter and suffered the emotional turmoil of having a son ensnared in addiction. I know this dream-gone-bad feeling.

As difficult as life gets, the most painful seasons are the times when the truth gets twisted. Continue reading Easter Changes Everything

5 Factors for Finding your Best Hairstyle

Ovale_GesichtsformSprig Fever has a way of inspiring creativity and agitating a need for change, especially when it lingers in it’s approach. Perhaps you are feeling the urgency to make a transformation with your hair. Before you do, consider these five factors:

1. Your hairstyle should compliment your facial shape.

If your are feeling creative and are ready for a change, there are some crucial rules to follow in order to not be disappointed. Like creating flattering fashion with clothing lines, the way your hair frames your face will either compliment your beauty or compete with it.

In general: any line that accentuates your beauty, or disguises a challenge is a flattering line. If it draws attention to the challenge or flaw, it is a negative line.

Oval (balanced, even, proportionate)
Could be any Img.ID 
Can wear pretty much any style.

Oblong (long, narrow, balanced)
Could be any Img.ID 
Styles with fullness in crown and sides. Asymmetrical or symmetrical styles are good. Bangs are optional.

Square (wide, angular jaw and forehead)
Natural, Dramatic, Gamine
Asymmetrical and side parts or side-swept bangs are good choices.

Diamond (narrow chin, brow; wide cheeks)
Natural, Dramatic, Gamine
Asymmetrical and side parts are good. Bangs are not.

Heart (wide forehead, narrow chin, often widow’s peak hairline) Ingénue, Romantic
Asymmetrical or symmetrical styles with fullness at chin and neck are good; bangs are optional. Avoid too much fullness at crown.

Round (balanced, fullest at cheeks) 
Natural, Ingénue, Romantic, Gamine
Asymmetrical or uneven styles with fullness at the crown.

Pear (widest at jaw, narrow forehead)
Natural, Dramatic, Ingénue, Romantic, Gamine
Balanced or asymmetrical styles that are fullest at and above ears; avoid fullness below cheeks. Slight or full bangs are a good option.

2. Your hairstyle should work well with your hair texture. Continue reading 5 Factors for Finding your Best Hairstyle

4 Steps to Dressing True to You

When you walk into a room which shows up first, you or your clothing?
One way to find out is to listen to the compliments you get. Are about you or your outfit?There’s a big difference between, “You look beautiful!” and “What a beautiful dress!” As women, we enjoy a compliment, and we should. It’s like a hug that simply affirms us and encourages our spirit.

The bearhug of all compliments–the I want for every one of my clients–is: “Oh, wow, that is so YOU!” The wow factor is by far the biggest confidence booster, don’t you think? How often do you get a “wow”?

I’m sorry. I know,  that was a painful question.

I don’t get them very often either, and, hey, I know how to dress true to myself.

shy-863056_640In reality,  it takes a confident, generous person to give away such a valuable thing as words of affirmation–especially when Continue reading 4 Steps to Dressing True to You

Why Wearing Black Could be Killing your Confidence

I can almost hear you protesting my blog already…

If you’re like most women, you love to wear black and it is the dominate color of your entire wardrobe and my suggestion that black could be killing your confidence already has you irate, doesn’t it?

“If you take my black away, I will have nothing to wear!”

This is, by far, the biggest push back I get as an image-coach.

There are many reasons people love to dress in dark, dull clothing:

Black is seen as professional

Continue reading Why Wearing Black Could be Killing your Confidence

The Secret to Dressing with Confidence

When I tell people I am an image- and life-coach, I often get a blank stare, followed by the expression that shows an “ah-ha moment.” Image and life: they go together so powerfully; yet they are seldom considered a pair.

Your life is judged by your image

Right or wrong, human nature has a tendency to judge others within six seconds of meeting them. I do it. You do it. All the people we meet us judge us as well. So, what do others assume about your life because of your image?

  • A care-free casual image may say you are simple and unconcerned with other’s judgment. Or it may say you don’t care much about yourself–or the event you are attending.
  • A carefully composed image with coordinating accessories and perfect makeup may say that you are deeply concerned with looking good. Or it may say that you have great respect for yourself and the people in your presence.
  • A strong, bold, colorful image may say that you are a fun and vivacious person. Or may say that you are loudly trying to be someone you are not.

An image that authentically reflects your life says something positive; an image that is false will be judged negatively.

Your image should reflect your life

Are you a casual person? Then dress casually because if you wear colorful, bold or  glamorous outfits you may be assumed obnoxious and loud. If you are strong and theatrical, then include excitement in your image, because if your outfit is plain and casual, people may feel you are holding back something and not being real.

A false image makes others feel they can not trust you.

Continue reading The Secret to Dressing with Confidence

When Looking Good is the Last Concern

fullsizeoutput_1541If you ever want to find out if you have Image Issues, go skiing in extremely cold conditions and see if you care how you look.

Last weekend’s fierce winds brought the wind-chill factor down to a negative twenty-five degrees, but that didn’t take into account the wet snow on my exposed cheeks. It was literally painful; an adventure I would never have even considered years ago when I was young enough to handle it (and dumb enough to only have cute ski gear!).

I wasn’t brave when I was young. I didn’t take risks. Somehow I got the impression that the comfort-zone was where i’d find peace. I didn’t find it there.

There is no peace in taking the easy way out of a challenge; there is only disappointment and the stress of trying to change the circumstances. When I was on that mountain too cold to cope, all i could focus on was the weather and, at my skill-level, it is not safe to think of anything other than navigating the slopes. i couldn’t just quit because the only way back to warmth was to take another lift and ski there.

Keep going.

We cannot always get out of fierce and frightening situations. Sometimes we must find a way to conquer our mountain. I heard from a lot of you regarding my blog last week and I know many of you are facing very difficult mountains right now. You feel like you are on a slippery slope in a nasty storm with no proper equipment and no knowledge of how to ski. Some of you have also lost a Trisomy 18 baby or are dealing with a loved one’s depression or addiction.

You are not alone.

We may be far from our comfort-zone, but we can still have peace. When we can’t move the mountain or change the weather, we can still bundle up and enjoy the ride. When I was losing hope skiing, I decided to stop pushing through the pain and let my husband know I couldn’t take it anymore. I was so grateful when he patiently adjusted my equipment and strongly assured me that I could finish the run.

The funny thing is, once he fixed my face mask and I was properly protected, I was able to enjoy the experience again.

And we skied all day.

Yes, it was still bitter cold, but I was no longer rawly exposed to it’s danger. I had the upper hand. I was prepared, which disarmed my fears.

When I got cold again, we stopped again.

Most of all, we enjoyed the adventure of conquering a challenge.

If you are freezing and fearful as you face your mountain today, I encourage you to stop a moment and share your heart with someone who can help you adjust your gear. Maybe you could help them with their’s, too, because more then likely they need to figure out the mountain, too. Life is not a comfort-zone; it’s an adventure and it’s the difficulties that make the greatest adventures. Be brave, take care of yourself  and enjoy the thrill of conquering your mountain. You can do this!

After all, skiing is simply falling gracefully.

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

Finding Purpose in Pain

I had just laid my newborn baby down to rest and knew I should close my eyes until she needed me again, but I couldn’t resist the overwhelming urge to write the thoughts that were running through my head. It was strange, the words I was hearing were directed to me, not from me. It was  as if the voice of God was thundering a very personal message and I had to capture it.

Once my pen hit the page, the words kept coming faster than I could write.

I knew Rebecca would not live long, the doctors were adamant about  that; and her physical impairments  were obvious, so I felt foolish doubting them,  but it felt so wrong to believe she would die!.  There were so many  questions and such confusion causing fear and anxiety. I needed a “word from God.”

When the student is ready the Teacher speaks.

I can’t help but wonder if this is why God allows difficulties in our lives. It makes us ready to learn. Writing down “God’s Comfort”  empowered me, like the embrace of a warm, soft blanket  in front of a beautiful fire His voice was protecting me from the fierce storm outside. I felt His love and wisdom and it brought certain peace, which is  still hard to explain, even eighteen years later.

Every year around this time, I like to share those words somewhere. On March 5, 1999 (just a few weeks after I wrote them) we shared them–unedited–at our daughter’s funeral. Today, I want to share them with you. My prayer is that you, too, will gain a new perspective on the goodness of the heart of God, even if goodness seems far from your reality. Continue reading Finding Purpose in Pain

The Sweet-Hearted Romantic

Debra Messing, a Romantic Img.ID
Debra Messing, a Romantic Img.ID

By definition anything romantic is passionate, tender and affectionate. A woman with the Romantic Img.ID is typically someone who demonstrates feelings of love in many beautiful ways. Her gifts are in appealing to the senses and making people feel comfortable and cared for. She loves to cook (or at least bake), arrange flowers, light candles, decorate and sing (at least to her babies).

Her physique makes it obvious that she is designed to comfort others. Her softly rounded, full-figure invites you to relax around her and her embrace brings the comfort like that of your favorite teddy bear. Everything about her is sweet, subtle and feminine. She is the Glamorous Beauty with a truly sweet heart.

Hopelessly Romantic

If you are in need of a friend, there’s a good chance your needs will be met when you spend time with a Romantic. Stop by her candlelit, lace-laden home to share your heart with her and she will make you tea and cookies and listen. She will feel your pain, validate it with her tears and comfort you with her sweet voice of concern.  While you may feel like losing hope, she won’t. She believes in people and she loves them sincerely.
The only person she struggles to love is  the one in her mirror.

Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’Do you love yourself?

God commands us to love Him and each other, but isn’t it interesting that loving ourself is assumed? Most of us would say that we struggle with self-love, but, in reality, if we are hungry, we eat. If we are dirty, we bathe. If we are tired, we rest. If we need the lady’s room, we stop everything and get there, right?

Okay, there are times when we are messed up and we neglect or punish ourselves (like I wrote about last week) but even then, the truth is: we are still set on meeting our need–wether it is for attention, acceptance or to be lazy or left alone. By nature, we do whatever it takes to get what we need or want, even if it hurts us. Yea, sometimes our motive is twisted with self-hatred, but ultimately it is still love for self.

The Romantic may not necessarily turn to self-hatred, but she may be inclined to neglect her own needs while being consumed with her need to help those she loves.

Sometimes our greatest need is to be needed

We are each compelled to meet our own needs, it is not our style alone that determines how we typically do that, but, because we are such complex beings,  we would be wise to studying our own heart.

How you meet your own needs is a big indicator of your Img.ID:

C:Disciplined self-care, no apologies, no guilt, nobody’s business

N:Comfort first, the easier the better

D:Disciplined, but feels she must justify her needs

I:Puts others first, shy (or ashamed) about own needs

R:Deep concern for others, lack of concern for self

G:Just do it; No pain, no gain

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

If you struggle with loving the person in your mirror, I encourage you to take the time to recognize why. What is it that you believe about yourself and your worth? Could there be some lies twisted into the truth about who you are?

If we are to ever going to love God and others well,  we must also learn to love ourselves. Think for a moment about the most hopelessly romantic person you know–the one you long to be with when you need comfort and hope. Now tell me, does that girl deserve to be loved as well?

Love and compassion are reciprocal

No matter which style you are:

  • It is not beautiful to love others without loving yourself, that is co-dependency.
  • It is not beautiful to accept other’s love without loving in return, that’s selfishness.

Love is not a one-way street. Each of us are commanded to love each other because we are expected to naturally love ourselves. We can have a healthy self-love only if we believe that we are truly loved. This is why the first and greatest commandment is to love God fully–because we can really only do this well if we first accept His unconditional love.

In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.               -1 John 4:9 -11

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

When Beauty Triggers Ugly

By definition, an Ingénue (pronounced: änjəˌno͞o) is an innocent or unsophisticated young woman, especially one in a play or film. The Ingénue Image Identity is the Delicate Beauty. She typically has tight skin, a petite figure, softly feminine facial features and a sweet, gentle voice. Ingénues are almost always assumed younger Continue reading When Beauty Triggers Ugly