I’m sure you have heard the well known cliché:
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
How sweet to have a husband, father or friend tell us that we are “beautiful” no matter what we look like but, honestly, sometimes I find this statement a bit appeasing. Don’t get me wrong, I believe it is absolutely true. Beauty is more than skin deep and true love looks into the heart it beholds and if the heart is lovely, the woman is beautiful. Period.
But in reality, there are few people who’s love is pure enough to endure the impurities of another. I don’t know about you, but it has been my experience that once offended, the “eyes that behold” begin to focus on the flaws and faults and no longer see beauty at all. The closer the original relationship, the more difficult the confidence conflict this creates. If we allow it, another person’s viewpoint can completely shift our own focus.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8
Unfortunately, all too often, we do not think of ourselves as lovely.
After all, who knows the err of our ways (or our waist!) better than we do? We know what we wake up to each morning and lay awake worrying about all night. Before we shower and dress for the day we flip on Good Morning America, or catch up on social media and compare our reality with other people’s post-able moments. We pressure ourselves with the harsh words of our critics and the disappointments and regrets that torment us; it is no wonder most of us feel inadequate and insecure! Yet, with wounded hearts, we continue to play the game of life–if for nothing else: for our children. At times we are on the defense; other times we are on the offense. But wether we are hiding our heart–our beauty–or we are striving to look the part that we do not feel, the truth is apparent in our eyes.
Even perfect beauty (if it were possible) with fear, shame or pride in the eyes is not beautiful.
It’s not just the ones who “behold” us that see beyond our outer appearance and into our soul. If anyone sees:
- a fearful heart, they may feel uncomfortable and be afraid to trust.
- a defensive heart, they may become critical and resistant.
- a heart striving for approval, they may give the attention demanded but will most likely be superficial and empty.
The eyes are the window of the soul.
It is wise to accentuate your authentic beauty in a way that draws attention to your eyes so that people see you for who you truly are. If you are looking for ways to do this, then as an image consultant I can help you:
- Wear colors that compliment (and not compete with) your complexion.
- Choose clothing cuts, fabrics and styles that compliment your Img.ID.
- Know which level of makeup will compliment your physical attributes.
It is even wiser to make peace with yourself. If you want to truly radiate Confident Beauty (which doesn’t wear off like makeup does!), then consider any woman you have ever known who has obvious flaws that she overlooks.
- Victims of the Boston bombing running the marathon again.
- Disabled children enjoying their abilities in Special Olympics.
- Teens who do not let their acne keep them from being real and enjoying life.
Everyone of us faces something that rocks our confidence, the key is to become a pursuer of peace.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6
Really, is there anything more beautiful than someone like YOU, recognizing your faults, acting in your strengths–accepting that you, like those who have hurt you, are a masterpiece in progress. There is beauty in the soul that has learned to BE who she was designed to BE.
Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose personal experience with rejection, betrayal and loss–as well as her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach–is empowering women to BE and LET BE.
Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at www.CatrinaWelch.com