Raising Confident Kids

With the first hospital visit, adults begin “speaking life” over your baby: 

She’s beautiful!

He’s so big!

As children grow, we naturally announce and affirm each progression of their development:

Look how he holds his head up.

She took her first step!

A healthy self-esteem is encouraged. 

Every child comes into this world with the need to understand their purpose and value and the answers naturally come from their environment and the things we teach them.

If you have a healthy self-image, then chances are your children will have less of a hang up on their appearance.

But not necessarily. 

What if you have a completely different style and personality than your daughter? Maybe you love fashion and formal events are a big part of your life. You feel great when you are dressed up and socializing, but your daughter resists anything social and hates when you make a fuss about what she wears. Should you “encourage her” to be more like you? Do you release her “do her own thing”?

We don’t always know what to do. We may take one approach to handling these conflicts and then change our mind and do the opposite. Wether we try to “encourage” or “release” we feel guilty and we cause confusion because we are unsure. 

Certainty creates confidence

After twenty years of teaching people about the six various clothing personalities, I am still amazed at how much it helps a woman’s confidence when she learns her personal Image Identity (Img.ID). It’s very much like the liberation one feels when they learn they are task-oriented vs. people oriented or introverted vs extraverted. Understanding yourself sets you free from trying to be something you are not. 

It’s really not that simple, though. 

One of the biggest hurdles I face when helping a client let go of her insecurities about her image, is the expectations put on her as a child–by her environment and her own reasoning. 

Children form so many of their understandings from the things they see and hear. 

“Mom is happy when she looks beautiful. I’m uncomfortable dressing up, I can’t be beautiful.” 

Their reasoning is not always logical; they are children. 

If we don’t talk to tour kids about self-image, their logic may never change. (Until, of course, they encounter a Supreme MakeOver, but that’s a blog for another day. Right now I am on a mission to help parents understand their children’s Img.ID so that they can teach them to BE who they were designed to be.)Talking to a child about body image and self-confidence is sometimes awkward, but the earlier we do it the easier it is and the more effective our teaching.

“Imagine how confident the next generation will be when they learn to accept and appreciate their distinct, authentic style while they are still young.”

  This is why I wrote Know Who You Are–for Kids! 

Know Who You Are–for Kids! cover
Child’s book (and teaching tool) available for pre-order soon!

Over the next six weeks I will be introducing to you the 12 characters in this new children’s book. Journey with me–and Katy (the Natural)–as we consider the different strengths of each of her friends, who each represent a different style. My hope is that each child who hears about Katy’s struggle with body image and self-esteem will learn from her revelation and also find the confidence to be all that God designed them to be. 


If this topic interests you, would you help me spread the word about my new book? Share this blog, connect and converse with me  on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and join my Facebook Book Launch Group by clicking “visit group: on my author page at:   https://www.facebook.com/catrinawelchauthor/ where I will be sharing inside info and great giveaways!

Is it Better to Be a Good Mother or a Grand Mother?


With my last child leaving the nest  and a granddaughter on the way, I am often told that it is more fun to be a grandmother than a mom. 

Mothers typically find their identity in their relationships–especially with their children.

I’ve gained three important insights on motherhood:

  1. Moms have tremendous influence on the life of a child. Our kids lives are swayed by our faith, opinions, perspectives and words.  A child whose mom believes in her is more than a conqueror. A child whose mom condemns her will struggle with self-esteem.
  2. Moms have little power over the way they interpret that influence. Children will interpret your heart according to theirs. We say, “Clean your room, honey.” They may hear, “You’re such a slob!”  or “I need to do better to be loved.” It is vital that we understand our strengths and weaknesses and study them as individuals so that we can train them in the way they should go.
  3. It is very important that we know who we are and take our role seriously. There will be times when parenting is the hardest “career” on earth, changing jobs is not an option. No matter how difficult the relationship may get, we must continue to be the best mom we can be. As they grow up, we are no longer responsible for their choices, but we will always be responsible for how we treat them.

Our challenges with motherhood seem to be because we  allow our identity to center around our children. It’s easy to do: they came from within our body, their lives govern our time, diet, finances and habits throughout the years. But the truth is, they are not us. And as they grow up, we must gradually allow them to be more and more independent. If we don’t, we won’t have peace and  our influence may not lead them in the way they should go.

Grandmothers typically enjoy their relationships without making the Grandchildren their identity 

Galatians 6:10 Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone–especially to those in the family of faith.

Many people say that Grand mothering is so much better than mothering because the child goes back to the parents, but I wonder if it’s more about perspective?  


When my granddaughter is born, she will have two sisters that have been through tragedy. My few interactions with them have been precious, but I am well aware that  I must earn their trust. I can’t just jump into their lives and claim to be their new grandmother. I must get to know them and slowly build a relationship. It is not my job to discipline, correct or even advise them. Of course I want to teach them everything I know and protect them from any more hurt, but I must earn that right.

When our kids have challenges or make mistakes we jump in to “assist” them. When our grandchild has a hurt, hang up or habit that we know we could help with, we respect their boundaries and wait for their hearts open up like a beautiful rose. Instead of trying to run their lives, we enjoy being a part of their lives. Perhaps it’s maturity or maybe it’s just experience, but after raising one generation, it’s easier to see the bigger picture.

Kids are a beautiful part of our lives, but they are not our identity.

A mom may feel guilt about separating her life from her child’s. A grandmother does not. When things get messy, it’s a lot easier to be a good mother when we don’t consider the mess our personal failure. I couldn’t do that in my early years, but I can now and I think this might be the best–the GRANDest–Mother’s Day yet.


Having been raised by godly parents, Catrina believed she was more than a conqueror. Her faith was tested by fire, however, when her first husband abandoned her while pregnant. She started motherhood as a wounded woman and it has been a rollercoaster of circumstances ever since. With the death of one child, the joy of two that seek the Lord, and the addiction of another, she is no stranger to devastation and depression, but our God is bigger! Catrina is the author of a number of books, including Confident Beauty, Supreme MakeOver, and Know Who You Are–for Kids!, which will be available July 3, 2019

She lives on Cape Cod, is happily married to Ron, her husband of 22 years, and will officially have an empty nest this Summer–when she also becomes a grandmother. You can connect with her on Facebook, Twitter Pinterest, Linked In, or Goodreads   Visit http://catrinawelch.com for information about my Supreme MakeOver Image Assessment events.

Gamine Video

Strong, witty, hardworking, fun, the Gamine is often a fearless leader or coach.

The Gamine clothing personality (which I call the Casual Beauty) is like a calla lily. Sturdy and full of color and variety, the trumpet-shaped flower can endure almost any condition. In the same way, Gamines thrive in situations where most of us would not know what to do. When they see crisis, they jump to action—like the flower that pokes through the ground before the rest of the plant. 

Continue reading Gamine Video

Gamine – the Bold Beauty

Some women are strong, spunky and secure in their opinions. The Gamine clothing personality is average to short in stature,  but she is not fragile: not in build, and not in personality. 

She is like a Cala Lily: strong, sturdy and full of color and variety. The trumpet-shaped flower can endure almost any condition, in the same way, Gamines thrive in situations where most of us would not know what to do. When they see crisis, they jump to action—like the flower that pokes through the ground before the rest of the plant. 

Grace makes or breaks the Gamine’s beauty

The Bold Beauty has an intense work ethic, which sometimes overrides her intense love for fun. She has a quick wit, level head and a passion to fix things. Unfortunately, sometimes her drive for justice can be intimidating to others–and to herself.  Continue reading Gamine – the Bold Beauty

Natural Video

Stable, tenacious and unpretentious, the Natural is often considered a loyal and faithful friend.

The Natural clothing personality (which I call the Casual Beauty) is like a wild flower. Her unpretentious beauty is simple and inviting. Unless she has a secondary style, this girl is tall and has a broad frame and facial features. She is friendly and athletic and tends to love nature.

All too often, girls with this Image Identity (Img.ID) are very frustrated with fashion. They have no desire to dress up and their concern for details is minimal.

Balancing the Casual look

Continue reading Natural Video

Natural – the Casual Beauty

Some women are simply laid back and casual; calm, cool and collected in nature. Those with the Natural clothing personality are athletic and nature-oriented and tend to be comfortable with themselves.

She is like a wild flower, strong, sturdy and able to endure most environments; she has little need of care and attention. The Natural’s bright cheer brings life to any occasion, making a formal affair less stuffy and a casual event more inviting. She should be careful, however, to stay true to her casual nature, no matter the formality of her environment or she may come across as phony.

Simplicity makes or breaks the Natural’s beauty

The Natural has little interest in fashion or Continue reading Natural – the Casual Beauty

Dramatic Video

Often misunderstood to be overly confident, the Dramatic is actually a very sensitive woman.

The Dramatic clothing personality (which I call the Exotic Beauty) is like a tropical flower. Her unusual beauty has a powerful presence that stands out and makes a statement. Unless she has a secondary style, this girl is tall and has strong, straight features. She is passionate and expressive and has a strong drive for excellence.

All too often, girls with this Image Identity (Img.ID) are completely unaware of the influence they have on others.

Intimidation may look like rejection

Continue reading Dramatic Video

Dramatic – the Exotic Beauty

Some women are fast-paced, hardworking and unafraid to take risks. Those who are Dramatic in style have a daring nature that is seemingly uninhibited by the influences around her. Her long, straight features and extreme height are indication of her character. The Dramatic woman (or man, or child…) is focused and passionate about all she does.

She is like an exotic flower, her unusual beauty has a powerful presence that stands out and makes a statement. All too often, however, this girl is completely unaware of the influence she has on others. In reality, this Image Identity (Img.ID) really has a very sensitive spirit and when others feel intimidated by her, she often reads it as rejection. 

Relatability makes or breaks the Dramatic’s beauty

Continue reading Dramatic – the Exotic Beauty

Classic – the Refined Beauty

Some women are dignified, sophisticated and professional in all their ways. Those who are Classic in style are graceful and conservative and a pleasure to look. A balanced figure and proportionate features give evidence to her character. The Classic woman (or man or child…) tends to be very proper  and detailed in all areas of life.

Like a rose, the Refined Beauty has a guard about her, making it rather difficult to get to know her at first. In her younger years, she is tight and withdrawn and a bit protective of her heart. When upset, her words may be sharp, but in general, she doesn’t speak up unless spoken to. 

Peace makes or breaks the Classic’s beauty

Continue reading Classic – the Refined Beauty

Romantic, the Glamorous Beauty

Some women are sensual in appearance and in nature, meaning they give great attention to the elements of taste, smell, touch and visual appeal. These are the kind of women you want to be around when you need comfort because they care deeply and they have a gift of hospitality.

Like the orchid, this woman’s beauty is glamorous and captivating, but sometimes hard to bring to bloom. Orchids will not share their astonishing flowers with the world if they are not cared for properly. They need sun and water like any other flower, but caring for them is very intricate. 

This tropical flower generally needs warmth but must have a change in climate or they will not bloom. They need to be in the sun but cannot take direct sunlight. They need to be watered slowly and precisely because too much or too little water will keep their flowers from showing. 

Vulnerability makes or breaks the Romantic’s beauty

Continue reading Romantic, the Glamorous Beauty

Ingénue video

Often mistaken as naive, young or innocent, the Ingénue is actually a very strong woman. She may have a girlish figure and a high voice, but don’t let that be confused for youth or ignorance! Like the Baby’s Breath that first appears to be a small flower but is actually a very strong bush, the Ingénue is an amazingly tenacious woman. The flower is used to covers the stems in a bouquet of flowers. This girl also completes others with her beautiful creativity and encouraging heart.
Ingénues need to be true to their authentic personality or they may lose their confidence. This is also true with their image. When the Delicate Beauty dresses in heavy fabrics or dark colors (unless she is a combination), her look is overpowered and she may come across as a little girl trying to look grown up. Continue reading Ingénue video

Ingénue, the Delicate Beauty

Some women have a sweet, innocent nature that brings with it a quality of freshness that does not threaten others, but uplifts them and inspires them. These women have a gentle strength that is like a breath of fresh air in our otherwise stressed and striving world.

The Ingénue, like the Baby’s Breath, is the kind of woman (or man… or child!)  that completes those around her. The flower is often used to cover the stems and spaces in a bouquet. The Ingénue’s creative and complimentary nature makes her friends all look and feel more beautiful and strong when she is with them.

little girl, IngénueThis Image Identity, or Img.ID may appear to be dainty and delicate but in reality is strong and sturdy, like the flower that is able to survive environments most flowers cannot endure. In fact, as long as this flower has a mostly-sunny environment and well-drained soil that is not acidic, the Baby’s Breath can thrive and grow into great foliage that covers any area it is given. This young lady is like that: She will do whatever you need her to, she will do it with joy and she will become very influential in any space she is given the authority to. Continue reading Ingénue, the Delicate Beauty