When I’m stressed, I shut down and shut up.
The term tongue-tied may mean one thing to you, but to me, it is a perfect metaphor for how I feel when I am hurting. Even when I want to talk, the words are held captive. It doesn’t matter how quiet I am, however, my body language still speaks loudly. Usually what it’s saying is,
“Leave me alone!”
And then I feel hurt when people avoid me–especially my husband, of course. I want others to read my mind not my face. I want them to ask and then wait (a really long time if necessary). Then I want them to judge my heart and not my confusing words. And I want them to be on my side, even if they have a completely opposing opinion.
I want, I want, I want.
When we are stressed, we are selfish.
Continue reading 3 Tips for Handling Stay at Home Stress
Just before the Covid19 social distancing order, I had gone on a self-care kick. It seemed that the stressful situations my family was facing were over and a spa day would help relieve the tension I was still carrying. Who would have thought that this stay at home order would last more than two weeks? I am so glad now that I took that time to do my hair and “fill my cup” before this forever-quarantine.
When I feel ugly, I struggle with depression. I know I’m not the only one.
Casual clothing isn’t a problem for most of us; we like staying at home in our sweats. A bad-hair day, on the other hand, can make many women struggle with confidence and cheerfulness. Continue reading 3 Tips for Doing Hair at Home (or Not)
Imagine how the friends of Jesus felt after His crucifixion. They were so sure He was the Messiah, the One sent to become their king and free them from Rome. He called Himself the Way, the Truth and the Life, yet the reality was, He just suffered a brutal death!
Faith: the substance of things hoped for
Reality sometimes rocks our faith and twists our beliefs with doubt and confusion.
Perhaps you, too, have had a dream suddenly become a nightmare? Has your hope ever turned to despair? Maybe your future was looking bright but then crisis hit, confusion came or tensions arose and now you’re not sure what is true anymore.
I am a mother who has grieved the loss of a daughter and suffered the emotional turmoil of having a son ensnared in addiction. I know this dream-gone-bad feeling.
As difficult as life gets, the most painful seasons are the times when the truth gets twisted. Continue reading Easter Changes our Difficult Realities
I grew up in an extravagant home on Cape Cod. When I was eleven, my family made a major change and pursued a secluded life in Maine. The adventure in the deep woods without the luxuries we were used to reformed the character of each of us. Since we had nothing and knew no one, we cultivated tight and true relationships with one another. It was then that our faith became a true and important part of our lives.
I suppose, in a way, we were self-quarantined. Continue reading Confidently Content
There is a secret battle that wages in every human heart.
Secret because we don’t want to talk about it. And secret because the silence makes us feel so alone in the fight. But we are not alone! The war for a healthy self-image may hit us socially, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, (you name it). There will be some area of our lives that each of us will feel that we are not enough–or that we are too much. Our confidence will be attacked in one way or another. Like arrows shot from an enemy, the attack may be harsh words from a close friend, or the rude attitude of stranger. It could be a simple failure and our own thoughts that knocks our confidence to the pit.
Self-talk is the key to winning the battle
Many Christians make it a habit to “pray-on the full armor of God” in order to prepare for such battles. As we get dressed, we ask God to give us the “breastplate of Righteousness” knowing that our King’s emblem is our true identity and that His goodness covers our failures and protects all our heart. We imagine securing the “belt of Truth,” as we trust that His promises are real, and He is greater than our fear. As we put on our shoes, we ask to be equipped to run, walk, stand, whatever His will, and that He will lead us with His peace. Before we start our day, we take up the “shield of faith,” knowing that fiery darts will come, but God is still who He says He is and He equips us to be more than conquerors. But victory doesn’t just come to those who believe, we must fight for what we believe. We must take the “sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God” and use it. (Ephesians 6)
Becoming warrior women who are confident (and beautiful!) is an adventure.
Continue reading Here’s How Wearing a Hat Can Help you Defeat Depression
Most women don’t have Confident Beauty because they compare themselves to other styles, but if you have ever been mistreated because of your appearance, you know that Image Issues are more complicated than that, because BEAUTY IS DANGEROUS.
Beauty is dangerous when it defeats us.
Maybe you HATE how you look because you compare your beauty to the models in the media and you feel you don’t measure up. Maybe men have been mean to you or taken advantage of your body. Perhaps it’s women who have mistreated you and tried to demean your beauty so that they feel better about themselves. Continue reading 3 Reasons Beauty is Dangerous
This is school vacation week in New England. Many families are getting away for a time of refreshing and renewal. A break from the bitter cold and brutal winds can give us strength to continue to endure our harsh winters.
It’s not a bad idea to get a break from a mild winter like this one, either.
Vacations are refreshing, healing, comforting, why? Typically, it’s not just the break in routine that gives strength to the soul. Often it is the beauty that we surround ourselves with when we get away.
Snow laden ski slopes.
Palm trees swaying in the gentle breeze.
Children laughing on the playgrounds.
Continue reading The Power of Beauty
I suppose there will always be times in life when our confidence is under attack (especially when is your main ministry topic), but I feel like I’m “under gun” in every direction right now.
With the challenges that lie before me, I have become aware of one common denominator that seems to be the secret to overcoming all sorts of Confidence Conflicts: Continue reading The Secret to Being Confident
As a woman who has faced many storms in life, I am often asked, “If God is so good, why doesn’t He keep you from these difficult circumstances?” My answer is, “He is so good that He keeps me through them.”
Storm: a disturbed state of environment, marked by significant disruptions to normal conditions. A center of low pressure w/ system of high pressure surrounding it. Opposing forces create stormy weather.
Why should any of us think that life is not fair because there is a significant disruption in our environment? In my experience, the more turbulent a storm, the deeper my faith has grown.
There is a certain sweetness that builds when we face difficulties without casting blame or comparing circumstances.
Continue reading Finding Hope in Difficult Times
There is a balance between self-care and selfishness. Finding this balance will likely always be a challenge for most of us. I’m fifty-two years old, yet I, too, often feel the guilt of taking time for myself, especially now that I have slipped back into a self-sacrificing mommy mode.
The “mommy-mode” of always putting others first is actually a beautiful thing when our heart is right.
To be “others-conscious” and put our family’s needs above our own is sweet and honorable.
As long as our heart is.
Since my last post, I have been swept up in a tornado of drama and difficulties that tend to consume those of us who love an addict. The chaos and confusion isn’t new to me, but over the past years of my son’s addiction, I’ve found a way to continue with most aspects of my own life, no matter how out of control his was. This time, however, Continue reading Finding Balance When Life Changes
When I was a little girl, if I was stressed, I hid.
I remember the day my mom and aunt were making me dresses for kindergarten. All the changing and posing so they could measure and pin had me overwhelmed. I didn’t complain though; I was a “good little girl.” Instead, the first chance I got, I curled up with a blanket in the back of my closet.
I’m not sure how long I slept, but I woke up to crazy commotion–my parents had the police searching a nearby pond.
I don’t mind wardrobe changes anymore, but I do still hide. Or at least I try. When I am overwhelmed I shut down and shut up. Even when I want to talk, I can’t find the words. It doesn’t matter how quiet I am, however, my body language still speaks loudly. Usually what it’s saying is,
“Leave me alone!”
And then I feel offended when people avoid me.
Emotions are complicated
Continue reading Three Tips for Helping Children with Stress
Some children are very calm, cool and collected.
Every two-year-old has their tantrums, but some kids are less concerned about getting their way. Casual children are laidback and tend to go with the flow. It may seem, at times, that they simply don’t care but in reality, the Natural Clothing Personality has a gift for seeing the bigger picture. If your child has an optimistic outlook on life even when things don’t go their way, he or she may be a Casual Kid.
Most Naturals are broad boned and tall in height unless they have a combined Image Identity (Img.ID). Weight is sometimes an issue for this Img.ID because of their structure, but most Naturals are active in sports and nature and usually able to keep their weight under control.
Casual kids are faithful, low-maintenance friends. Their simplistic outlook and optimistic nature are encouraging and easy to be around. Their laid-back style, however, can be hard for parents to motivate. As we raise our children, Continue reading Do You Have a Laid-back, Casual Kid?