3 Ways to Help Your Child with Image Issues

You know the distractions and temptations that ping before your eyes every time you pick up your phone, but have you ever considered how many images are deeply affecting your child’s self-esteem on a daily basis? 

We can set restrictions by the ratings on their TV time, but It’s no longer just commercials that are telling our children what they need and how they should look. Cell phones are pinging them in the middle of their homework, jobs and games. Temptation is calling out to even young children, whether they are at home, on the bus or in the middle of a church service! 

If we want our kids to be confident, we must make a conscious effort to engage in conversations about Image Issues.

When your daughter says she hates her nose, or your son thinks he’s too short, how do you respond? Most of us will quickly reply with a correction. “No, honey, you are perfect!”  Continue reading 3 Ways to Help Your Child with Image Issues

Abnormal, or Impressive? 

When a new baby arrives into this world, there are two very important numbers that are included in the birth announcement: weight and length.

Does size really matter?

  • Perhaps we announce the size of our child because the pounds and inches tell the story of labor and delivery. 
  • Perhaps the numbers are important because they give some kind of identity to those who have not met the newborn.

It seems the large babies give one impression, and little ones another, but the sizes in between are not as impressive, why is that?

 Children that are little at birth usually have a  petite bone structure and will likely remain short all their lives.

Continue reading Abnormal, or Impressive? 

The Beauty of the Manger

My fourth child was due to arrive just before Christmas. We were building a home at the time and it was not ready for occupancy. I remember feeling anxious about bringing a newborn home to our temporary living situation–a large, open room over my brother-in-law’s garage. With two young boys and another young family within earshot, I feared the sleepless nights would be a problem for the whole house. 

Expectations

Every mom wants her nest in order–beautifully decorated and sanitized–before her new baby arrives. But it doesn’t always happen that way.

Imagine how Mother Mary felt ridding a donkey across the country during the “nesting stage” of her first pregnancy.

Continue reading The Beauty of the Manger

3 Steps to a Quick De-clutter before Christmas

Over the next few weeks we will all be changing our home decor from it’s Thanksgiving theme to all things merry and bright, but what about our closets?

I used to decorate my house for Christmas each year by simply adding a few festive pieces here and there. This year I am in a new home for Christmas and I find myself excited to do something new. My Christmas decor may not have changed, but the place they will bring their charm to has. This house was decorated for our summer guest with a beach theme that does not go well with the snowy theme of Christ’s birth. As I remove all the former decor and dust the shelves, I consider the Closet Clean-outs I have done over the years and thought it would be fun to share with you the most effective way to get organized, whether it’s in the closet or all throughout the house.

After all, it’s not fair to ask Santa for more clothing if your closet is stuffed tighter than your Christmas stockings.

1. First un-decorate

When I first started image-coaching, I was afraid of removing too many items from my client’s wardrobe, so I mostly put outfits together and moved things around. That’s also how I used to decorate my house for Christmas.

With a little experience I have learned that it is way less confusing, far more affective and so much more fun to “clear the slate” before re-creating anything.

Click for FREE Wardrobe Weeding checklist PDF Continue reading 3 Steps to a Quick De-clutter before Christmas

Is Woman Inferior to Man?

Your world view is greatly determined by the way you answer this important question.

  • Men and women are equal.

This world view may show itself in a lot of striving to prove our equality. When favoritism is shown or life seems unfair, it is only natural to fight for our rights. Any weaker party should be given to and any stronger party should be taken from in order to level the playing field. 

Do differences (in gender, strength, appearance, gifts, talents, success…) make life unfair?

  • Women are inferior.

This world view is often confused. When men see women as less than, or when women see themselves as less-than, it is only natural for the genders to conflict. A man trying to prove himself may mistreat the women he wants to overpower. A woman feeling down on herself may accept abuse that she does not deserve. Continue reading Is Woman Inferior to Man?

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3 Reasons Why Image is Such an Issue for Women

According to David Garner’s survey on Body Image in America as reported in Phychlology Today:

  • 56% of all women say they are dissatisfied with their overall appearance.
  • 84% of women report dieting
  • 14 % of women have been diagnosed with eating disorders- the majority  being underweight.
  • 1.5% of women say they vomit for weight control, yet do not feel they have an eating disorder. 3%  use laxatives for weight loss and feel that is not a concern.
  • 67% of women report that being around thin women makes them feel insecure.  45% say that models make them feel angry or resentful.

There are many reasons why beauty has such a stronghold on our hearts:

1. Beauty is an important part of the feminine heart.

The desire for beauty is not shallow or selfish; it is our reflection of the One who created us. Just as man was designed to glorify God with his strength, so was woman designed to draw others to Him with her beauty.

Unfortunately, our desire to be lovely can get the best of us if we focus on it too much. I suppose anything we give too much attention to can mess up our lives, but let’s think this through.

The desire to be strong or  successful, is encouraged by society.

The desire for beauty, on the other hand, is not as socially acceptable.

Wether we pursue strength or beauty, we may be confronted with jealousy from time to time, but seldom will we be put to shame for such desires as to do well or be strong.

2. Beauty has different social standards.

Continue reading 3 Reasons Why Image is Such an Issue for Women

Helping Kids Find Confidence

I was only in third grade when my ministry to girls with Image Issues began. I remember coming home from school broken-hearted because one of my friends was being picked on for her weight.

So what if some kids are heavy? I was skin and bones, is that wrong, too? Why are kids so mean? I don’t get it. I was baffled as a eight year old and I’m still baffled today. No two people look exactly alike, so what kind of logic says that differences are defects or deficiencies? And why should anyone be ashamed of how they look?

Variety is beautiful

A sneak peak into Know Who You Are–for Kids!

I seldom got judged for being skinny, but It was that same year that the kids teased me because of how I dressed. I used to wear little bobby sox and apparently they weren’t “in style” (because children know these things!). I was the brunt of cruel jokes day after day until I finally told my mom. I was hoping she would take me shopping for long sox so that I could fit in.

I was wrong. Continue reading Helping Kids Find Confidence

One Woman’s Journey to Find her True Image Identity

Most women HATE, HIDE or get HUNG UP on their image at one point in their lives. For many, this is during the teenage years, but for some it’s at a very young age, for others it comes later in life.

When we are hurting and our self image is down, we may lash out at others, blame them, or become consumed by their needs while neglecting our own. Whether you punish yourself,  shut down your heart, or try to numb the pain is a big indicator of what your personal Image Identity (Img.ID) is.

Click here to take my FREE IMAGE ASSESSMENT QUIZ

Continue reading One Woman’s Journey to Find her True Image Identity

Do Children have a Personal Image Identity?

Every child has an innate desire to figure out who they are.

Katie in the mirror
An illustration from Know Who You Are–for Kids! Katie Finds the Confidence to BE her True Self Coming soon.

 

Am I valued?

Am I wanted?

Am I enough?

It’s only natural for a young mind to find it’s answers from the information around her–a mom’s  words, a dad’s actions, her own comparison to her sister’s beauty–these are each part of the identity struggle that every child must work through.

Each child is unique

Every child is formed within the womb with certain physical traits and personal characteristics. Most parents appreciate their children’s individuality and recognize their potential immediately–and their vision is filtered through the eyes of love. The child, however, needs a bit more time to understand her self-worth.

Physical traits

Facial features and body types certainly change and mature with time, but they are established at birth. A child’s chin, nose and lips may change in size and proportion as she grows, but not in shape. Only a few physical traits change drastically in a growing child, like hair and eye color.

My newest niece, for example, was born a blue-eyed blonde. She just had her first birthday and it has become apparent that the blonde is staying and so is the blue. This is rather unusual. Most babies hair and eye color changes within the first year. 

Personal characteristics

Personalities also tend to change with age. In fact, they take a lifetime to develop, but some personal characteristics show up at birth as well.

When my niece giggled on her arrival day, we all thought it was in our imagination, but the little girl hasn’t stopped giggling yet.

Coloring

Scientists say that a child’s body chemistry is settled enough at age five to be able to tell her seasonal pallet of colors and those colors will always be the most flattering ones for her. Long after kindergarten, hair and skin color may continue to change, but the undertones will remain. This is why you only need a color analysis once in your life.

Which leads us to one question I am often asked:

At what age can you tell a person’s Img.ID?

Over the years of doing Supreme MakeOvers, I have become more and more passionate about helping mom’s understand their daughter’s style because it helps them get along. I am now on a new mission to help children understand that there are various styles (of both boys and girls) before they get caught up in the Beauty Battle.

It seems to me that there are too many people–young and old–facing serious Image Issues simply for the lack of understanding themselves. Many Confidence Conflicts start with a cruel word on a playground or an unfair comparison with someone completely different than them. Too often these offenses are never really sorted out. Many adults still live with the child-like reasoning of who they are and how they look because they stuffed the pain of that playground experience and believed the twisted-truths were were told.

Maybe you were told you were too big or tall or skinny or short and to this day you cannot see that trait as beautiful because as a child you believed it was unattractive. Children easily mistaken jealous words for truth and they often follow expectations of those they respect, even when those people completely misunderstand of them and lead them in the wrong direction.

Children also believe what they are taught.

Maybe it’s time we teach them that it’s not only the birds, animals, fish, flowers and trees that have a variety of styles. Little boys and girls do too!

To learn your personal Image Identity (Img.ID), take my FREE SELF-ASSESSMENT QUIZ ( click here).

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I call my image consultations “Supreme MakeOver” (or SMO) because it changes so much more than a person’s appearance; it teaches them who they are and sets them free from all that comparison. If you would like to have or host a SMO, or if you want to help me launch my next book, Know Who You Are-for Kids!, then please contact me. I can be found on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and my website is http://catrinawelch.com

Self Image Through they eyes of a Blind Woman

I am excited to share with you the words of a beautiful woman whose life experiences intrigued me so much that I asked her to share her heart with you. If you know someone feeling the pressure to be like others, please share this with them. We go through things in life in order to be more helpful to others going through similar things. Thank you Kayla, may we all learn not to waist our pain.

The media taught me what I should look like.  

I was totally blind, in high school, and longing to be noticed when I received a Braille edition of a summer issue of Seventeen magazine. I never thought I was beautiful, even though others had told me I was, but that issue sent my already insecure brain went into a spiral. I learned there were different styles of people, but they all had to be fit, skinny, and toned, which I was not.

I listened to a lot of teen dramas and learned about girls who wouldn’t eat in order to lose weight. I tried  binge eating and dieting until Continue reading Self Image Through they eyes of a Blind Woman

5 Steps for Changing Habits 

Which body part do you wash first when showering?

If you cannot answer to my silly question, don’t worry. I’m sure that the next time you start lathering up, you will notice that you have a very defined routine that is so deeply ingrained into a rhythm that you don’t even give showering a thought.

Routines rock!

Creating a system for every day habits may seem silly, but the busier your life is, the more  important mindless habits are, because they remove the stress of making one more decision. When you’re overwhelmed without deeply rooted routines, it is easy to loose keys, forget appointments and miss meals.

Stress makes a mind scattered, and a scattered mind increases stress.

You were designed for routine.

Our bodies craves rhythm as much as the tides do–all of God’s creation was made with seasons and cycles. Imagine if the sun and moon had the free-will to resist His plan like we do; all of nature would be as stressed out as we are!

For many years I fought routine. I didn’t want anyone telling me what to do–not even my own schedule! Now that I am old (yea, I just had a birthday. I’m feeling it.), I see the foolishness of my younger, scattered ways. Somehow I thought that creating habits was boring and I did’t want to be “stuck in a rut” so I lived “by the seat of my pants.” I was fooled to think that I had better control if I resisted rules and routines. Unfortunately, my unstructured life got the best of me and wore out my adrenal glands.

It’s good to be flexible, but when you constantly change your ways, you create chaos.

I’m living a bit of a scattered life again as I have faced a few major life changes at once. I am working after-hours to finish up a rental home my husband and I are building, my children are in big  transitions and my dad is very sick. My purpose, plan, schedule, diet, location and even transportation are all fluctuating and I have completely lost my rhythm. I no longer love the adrenaline rush of spontaneity; instead, I crave the confidence that comes with having habits.

Routines change

If you, too, are feeling the stress of a scattered life, I encourage you to join me in reforming your routines. Some habits, like showering, remain as consistent as the setting sun. Thank God, we don’t have to think about what to do. We just do it and forget it.

Some habits–like eating–need to be protected for survival.

But even the sun’s routine changes with the seasons. We are wise not to resist life’s changes, but to, instead, make any needed adjustments while remaining as consistent as possible.

Here are 5 steps we can implement to create habits that remove stress:

  1. De-clutter. (It is much easier to live in my rental home, where there are only basic needs.)
  2. Go shopping. (I now have duplicate personal care products so that I don’t have to think about packing them anymore.)
  3. Create new space (I am finally establishing a new place to write.)
  4. Take charge of your schedule (unfortunately, my time to blog has taken a lower priority during this season.)
  5. Breathe (When I miss blogging for you, I remember that I only have so much time with my loved ones and once this house is done, it will always be done.)

Seasons change, but they also change again, and if we are women of confidence, we need olive in the moment. If this moment is hard, then we stay strong and keep going. It’s our habits that keep us  fed, rested and strong. What needs are there in your life that need to become habits so that you no longer have to think about them?

btw, I always wash my right arm first.

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If you liked this article, would you share it? Also, I’d love to connect with you  on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads or come  speak at your next event. Please visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

3 Secrets to Avoiding Clothing Moths

Some say the secret to storing your fine sweaters is to put them in a cedar closet or use cedar wood aromatic oils or the dreaded mothballs, the Bible says to:

Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. -Mathew 6:20 

Is the Bible saying we should live in the moment and not stress out about holding onto treasures for ourselves? Maybe; but there are many clothing items that we put away for a season that we will be needing again. What then?

If we have been blessed with nice clothing like silks, cashmere or wool, then we should be good stewards of what we have, right? Last year I lost one of my most expensive cashmere sweaters to moths. Wardrobe Weeding may be my thing, and cedar closets may be my husband’s, but anyone can become immune to the cautions they frequently deal with. Lest you, too, think that moths will never happen to you, allow me to share the wisdom of ages:

1. Keep a clean, fresh closet.

Moths like to live and lay eggs in places where it’s dark and they’re undisturbed.  Frequently  vacuum the floors and drawers, wipe shelves down, move your clothes around, turn on lights, open windows.

Always clean any used clothing before bringing it into your closet. If one item  was in storage for long, there’s a good chance it may have moth eggs.

2. Keep your clothing clean.

When the eggs hatch, the larvae like to feed on organic fabrics. To avoid this wholey problem,  keep your clothing clean. A hot dryer (or freezer if you have a real problem) can fix this, but most of the fabrics that moths love need to be dry-cleaned, so be sure to have that done before you put your clothes in storage.

Always remove your dry-cleaned items from the plastic bags when you bring them home to allow the chemicals to leave the garment before it breaks down the fibers.

3. Check on your storage.

Adult moths live for about 75 to 80 days, and eggs hatch into larvae after 4-10 days, so you are wise to check for evidence of moths at least once after putting them away for the summer. It’s not uncommon for moth eggs to make their way into the storage undetected and  you may come back to ruined clothing months too late. Like I did.

Cedar wood, cinnamon, cloves, and lavender are all good options for keeping moths away without the harsh, dangerous fumes of mothballs.

All in all, yes, we should just get rid of the things that are going to sit in our closets undisturbed because we do not wear them. But when there are items which we will once again wear when the climate changes, we should take care in storing them so that nothing is wasted.

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If you found this blog helpful, would you share it with someone? Post it to your facebook wall, tweet about it, email a friend. We are all in this together and together we can conquer the secret little things that cause us Confidence Conflicts so that we can become women of Confident Beauty. If you haven’t yet, be sure to check out my Img.ID quiz to learn your personal style and then follow me on FacebookTwitter  Linked In, Goodreads and Pinterest, (where I have a board for each style). Also, consider having me give your friends a Supreme MakeOver at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.