I had just laid my newborn baby down to rest and knew I should close my eyes until she needed me again, but I couldn’t resist the overwhelming urge to write the thoughts that were running through my head. It was strange, the words I was hearing were directed to me, not from me. It was as if the voice of God was thundering a very personal message and I had to capture it.
Once my pen hit the page, the words kept coming faster than I could write.
I knew Rebecca would not live long, the doctors were adamant about that; and her physical impairments were obvious, so I felt foolish doubting them, but it felt so wrong to believe she would die!. There were so many questions and such confusion causing fear and anxiety. I needed a “word from God.”
When the student is ready the Teacher speaks.
I can’t help but wonder if this is why God allows difficulties in our lives. It makes us ready to learn. Writing down “God’s Comfort” empowered me, like the embrace of a warm, soft blanket in front of a beautiful fire His voice was protecting me from the fierce storm outside. I felt His love and wisdom and it brought certain peace, which is still hard to explain, even eighteen years later.
Every year around this time, I like to share those words somewhere. On March 5, 1999 (just a few weeks after I wrote them) we shared them–unedited–at our daughter’s funeral. Today, I want to share them with you. My prayer is that you, too, will gain a new perspective on the goodness of the heart of God, even if goodness seems far from your reality. Continue reading Finding Purpose in Pain