Category Archives: Life

5 Steps for Changing Habits 

Which body part do you wash first when showering?

If you cannot answer to my silly question, don’t worry. I’m sure that the next time you start lathering up, you will notice that you have a very defined routine that is so deeply ingrained into a rhythm that you don’t even give showering a thought.

Routines rock!

Creating a system for every day habits may seem silly, but the busier your life is, the more  important mindless habits are, because they remove the stress of making one more decision. When you’re overwhelmed without deeply rooted routines, it is easy to loose keys, forget appointments and miss meals.

Stress makes a mind scattered, and a scattered mind increases stress.

You were designed for routine.

Our bodies craves rhythm as much as the tides do–all of God’s creation was made with seasons and cycles. Imagine if the sun and moon had the free-will to resist His plan like we do; all of nature would be as stressed out as we are!

For many years I fought routine. I didn’t want anyone telling me what to do–not even my own schedule! Now that I am old (yea, I just had a birthday. I’m feeling it.), I see the foolishness of my younger, scattered ways. Somehow I thought that creating habits was boring and I did’t want to be “stuck in a rut” so I lived “by the seat of my pants.” I was fooled to think that I had better control if I resisted rules and routines. Unfortunately, my unstructured life got the best of me and wore out my adrenal glands.

It’s good to be flexible, but when you constantly change your ways, you create chaos.

I’m living a bit of a scattered life again as I have faced a few major life changes at once. I am working after-hours to finish up a rental home my husband and I are building, my children are in big  transitions and my dad is very sick. My purpose, plan, schedule, diet, location and even transportation are all fluctuating and I have completely lost my rhythm. I no longer love the adrenaline rush of spontaneity; instead, I crave the confidence that comes with having habits.

Routines change

If you, too, are feeling the stress of a scattered life, I encourage you to join me in reforming your routines. Some habits, like showering, remain as consistent as the setting sun. Thank God, we don’t have to think about what to do. We just do it and forget it.

Some habits–like eating–need to be protected for survival.

But even the sun’s routine changes with the seasons. We are wise not to resist life’s changes, but to, instead, make any needed adjustments while remaining as consistent as possible.

Here are 5 steps we can implement to create habits that remove stress:

  1. De-clutter. (It is much easier to live in my rental home, where there are only basic needs.)
  2. Go shopping. (I now have duplicate personal care products so that I don’t have to think about packing them anymore.)
  3. Create new space (I am finally establishing a new place to write.)
  4. Take charge of your schedule (unfortunately, my time to blog has taken a lower priority during this season.)
  5. Breathe (When I miss blogging for you, I remember that I only have so much time with my loved ones and once this house is done, it will always be done.)

Seasons change, but they also change again, and if we are women of confidence, we need olive in the moment. If this moment is hard, then we stay strong and keep going. It’s our habits that keep us  fed, rested and strong. What needs are there in your life that need to become habits so that you no longer have to think about them?

btw, I always wash my right arm first.

*****

If you liked this article, would you share it? Also, I’d love to connect with you  on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads or come  speak at your next event. Please visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

What is your Personal Presence?

Many factors have made me hyper-sensitive to family dynamics recently: My pastor has been preaching a series on relationships, I am preparing for a mother / daughter event, I am finishing up a child’s book about the six styles of children, and most significantly, cancer has invaded my strong, influential father and I am getting a lot of extra time with my extended family as we all join efforts in helping my parents through the fight of a life-time.

How wonderful and pleasant it is

    when brothers live together in harmony! ~Psalm 133:1

All these factors are teaching me three valuable lessons: Continue reading What is your Personal Presence?

Confident for Our Children

As Easter approaches, let’s consider how Mary’s mamma-heart must have felt during Jesus’ persecution and death.

As moms, we believe in our kids. Sure, we see their faults and we get frustrated when they don’t follow our wishes, but we see beyond the present day; we see their potential future. If anyone should point out their imperfections, we defend them because we know that, one day, each of them will be great!

I imagine that this must have been especially true for Mary. Granted, her son was perfect–but she was not. Surely she got anxious about the expectations she had for Him. After all, she was told (directly by an angel!) profound promises about His future yet she had to wait thirty years before He began His ministry. Continue reading Confident for Our Children

Finding Strength in the Confidence Conflicts

Not all Confidence Conflicts are Beauty Battles. Attacks on our identity come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Most of these conflicts are mountains–whether we made them out of molehills or not.

Nineteen years ago today, my husband and I faced one of our biggest mountains: the loss of our daughter.

Grief is a very real and very difficult Confidence Conflict, which leaves you feeling small and overwhelmed. Emotions are raw, vision is blurred and the path to peace is hard to find. There were many times during our journey when we lost our way, broke down, gave up or separated from each other emotionally. We did, however, make a decision to reunite and help each other over the mountain of grief. Eventually we found our way through the woods, but I don’t believe we would have made it to higher ground if we hadn’t called out to God for help. Continue reading Finding Strength in the Confidence Conflicts

3 Questions to Reset your New Year

The start of a new year is a great time to reflect and reset. As you reflect on 2017, do you recognize the changes in your life? Surely there were some good and some bad experiences. Perhaps your character was strengthened; maybe your hope was defeated. Was your patience tested, your confidence challenged? How did these thing affect your how you feel about yourself? Experiences are a big influence in our identity, but they do not need to define us. Perhaps this is why I love new beginnings so much. There have been many times in my life when I have allowed experiences in my life to become who I was.

After experiencing a divorce, I took the identity of “throw away wife” and was not able to build another healthy relationship until I was able to find the truth about who I was.

Some experiences require an identity check in order to move on. It is not wise to risk your heart for a future relationship (or job, location, etc) when it is still wounded from a past one.  We have a choice in how experiences affect us. They can defeat us and deter us from growth, or they can become our personal exercise program as we work through the difficulty and become stronger for it. Continue reading 3 Questions to Reset your New Year

Confident About the Beauty of Christmas

How many Christmas pageants, plays or recitals did you go to this year? Children add so much life to this season, don’t they? It doesn’t matter if their costumes are professional or pathetic, when a child is on a stage being recognized, it is beautiful.

Or at least entertaining.

A few children who play their part with a calm, strong confidence can make a silly program truly impressive, but the children who are timid, shy and awkward–or the ones who are boisterous and showing off–are still adorable.

When children have the guts to get up on a stage, we have grace for their fears, and when they get up there and enjoy themselves, we give them the right to be proud of what they were doing. The older we get, however, the less leeway we have between timidity and arrogance. Continue reading Confident About the Beauty of Christmas

What are your holdfasts?

I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with my to do list, when a dear friend of mine presented this very powerful question. It put life back into proper perspective for me and my hope is that it will for you as well.

If you’re plate is full and you are finding it hard to be merry this season, please enjoy this guest blog from Lauri Hawley, a godly woman of wisdom who has a way of capturing the most unusual beauty in amazing pictures and relating them to deep spiritual life lessons. You can find her blogs here  

photo by Lauri Hawley

 

I found this little rock washed up on the beach a few weeks ago, with a strange growth attached. It almost looks like a coral, but we’re too far north to find that around here. I’ll venture to say that it’s seaweed. Whatever it is, I’m sure that when it got anchored to that rock, it never saw itself being washed ashore! The rock was protected somewhere on the ocean floor for quite a while to give this specimen time to grow. And then the storms came.Are you holding on to things of this world that seem super stable, reliable, and strong? What rocks are you using as a foundation? Will they remain firm through the storms of this life?Jesus told this parable, recorded in Luke 6:46-49:

“So why do you keep calling me ‘Lord, Lord!’ when you don’t do what I say? I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then follows it. It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against that house, it stands firm because it is well built. But anyone who hears and doesn’t obey is like a person who builds a house without a foundation. When the floods sweep down against that house, it will collapse into a heap of ruins.” (NLT)

Jesus gives three steps to building on a solid foundation.First, we must come to Him. Talk to Him, read His Word, ask Him for guidance and assurance, and learn from Him.Second, we must listen. Asking without listening for the answer is a waste of time! Staying in the Word and listening for His voice will teach us how to live, even when we don’t know what questions to ask.Third, we must do what He says. What does He say? Here are a few starters:

“Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.” (John 13:34)

“Love your enemies” and “Pray for those who persecute you!” (Matthew 5:44)

“Let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.” (Matthew 5:16)

Take some time today to check your foundation. What are your holdfasts attached to? If it’s anything of this world, it will pass away. Your rock will be thrown around by the storms of this life, and you’ll find yourself out in the open and exposed.Instead, dig down to the solid foundation that is Jesus Christ, who is the Rock of our salvation! Come to Him, listen, and obey. Through faith in Him we are counted as righteous, and “the root of the righteous will never be moved” (Proverbs 12:3 ESV). 

 

3 Reasons Image is a Bigger Issue for Some than it is for Others

After 33 years of helping women with Image Issues, I have come to the conclusion that there are the three reasons that the Beauty Battle is bigger for some than it is for others:

  1. Some people are raised in an environment that challenges their authentic style and confuses their ideology (like the Ugly Duckling we have been discussing the last few weeks).
  2. Some styles are more sensitive than others. Passionate people feel things more deeply than those who are less excitable, therefore, Image Issues can be a bigger battle for them to overcome emotionally.
  3. Some Img.IDs have an internal conflict within themselves in areas that make image an issue before they even enter the Beauty Battle.

Consider the sensitive Img.IDs:

  • Ingénue, the Delicate Beauty, who has a sweet, gentle, youthful appearance and personality. Before any man mistreats her or girlfriend insults her, she already has a conflict going on with her image. Her petite frame and high voice give a false impression that often conflicts with her strong, creative and intellectual character. She has a deep concern for other people, yet her compassion is often belittled and rejected because people assume she is far to young and inexperienced to have anything to offer. When an Ingénue faces a Beauty Battle, she often fights with herself rather than her opponent. A common war plan for this girl is to try to look older and tougher. Unfortunately, this often gets her caught in a cycle of pushing people away and punishing herself as the lies of misunderstanding and rejection go deeper and deeper.
  • Dramatic, the Exotic Beauty, who is enthusiastic and expressive and rather intimidating to those she towers over. Because of her natural inclination to detail, her appearance and work ethic give the impression that she has it all together, but in her striving for excellence she seldom sees herself the way others see her. She sees the fine, unfinished details, others see the finished parts. Unfortunately, she may read the tension others feel around her as their rejection of her.  She is often completely unaware that her high standards are causing the threat. If she does recognize this, she may decide to “play it down” and then find herself feeling restricted and frustrated.
  • Romantic, the Glamorous Beauty, who has a gentle, compassionate appearance and personality. This woman cares deeply about others but has a hard time giving herself the attention she gives others. It’s important to her that others feel comfortable and loved, yet she seldom loves herself, which is (ironically) what often makes others uncomfortable around her.

Consider the combination Img.IDs.

For those whose Img.ID consists of two styles there may be areas where those styles contradict each other causing minor–or major–Image Issues.

Some styles prioritize fashion, others comfort; some peace, others justice; some privacy, others publicity.

I would say it is about half of the women I have analyzed have the Img.ID of one style the other half have two styles and about half of those have a major conflict within those two styles. If this is you, this is no cause for alarm; it only means that you have some self-discovery to do so that you can find peace and learn to blend those two styles in a way that honestly represents your authentic nature.

The Beauty Battle is emotional, spiritual, physical and logical.

It’s no secret that I think a big part of the emotional Beauty Battle is spiritual warfare. I believe that there is an enemy of God who hates the fact that a woman’s beauty is a reflection of Him, so he sets traps before us to make us HATE, HIDE or get HUNG UP on how we look. When we are preoccupied with ourselves, we do not glorify God, we do not find peace and  we do not encourage each other.

It takes time to settle things in your spirit,  but if you are willing to search your soul and learn from those who have gone before you and won the battle,  you can become a woman of Confident Beauty, which is balanced and free.

*****

As an author and speaker, my passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. Please  connect with me on Facebook, Twitter Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads  or consider having me speak at your next event.

Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information. Get catrina’s books on Amazon

Changing Emotional Outfits

I love to people watch this time of year. It’s easy to tell who is holding onto Summer and who is enjoying the Fall. It’s especially fun to see those who are eager for Winter–I saw “one of those” last night, in her high boots and thick sweater. I let out a little chuckle when she walked by. It hit me funny since I had been walking barefoot on the beach in shorts and a tank top just a few hours earlier. As I looked around at all the other people who were wishing they had prepared for the temperature drop. I was glad I had changed!

Changing outfits

Does this fluctuating weather represent your life like it does mine? One minute it I feel the warmth of all the wonderful things that are happening. The next moment I’m chilled to the bone with the difficulties that I am facing. I’ve been here before. In fact, I’ve been facing the challenges of my son’s addiction for many years now. Continue reading Changing Emotional Outfits

Are you Influential?

Ambitious. Hard-working. Multi-tasking–these words describe most  women in today’s culture. Dreamers, with great desires for ourselves and our families. We are strong and courageous and are willing to give up so that others can get.

Women are influential

As emotional and relational beings, our mood sets the atmosphere around us. When we are peaceful, others relax. When we are joyful, others enjoy themselves. We should not underestimate the power of our presence because, when we recognize our influence,  we can make a difference in our world.

We have the ability to  create a beautiful environment in our homes for our marriage to flourish and our children to blossom. We have it in us to become self-disciplined, and to discipline our children well and train them in the way they should go. When we build on our strengths and overcome our weaknesses, we increase our sphere of influence (as big or small as that may be) because women who are confident enough to bless others are women who people want to be around. Continue reading Are you Influential?

Do You Accept Rejection?

In every conversation, every glance your way, each test you take or act you perform, there will always be the nagging questions about your identity, purpose, power and value:

Who am I?

Why am I here?

Am I enough? Am I too much?

Does my life even matter?

These questions about our significance may be subtle and somewhat silent or they may consume us with their torment. The intensity of their demands for answers may ebb and flow, within certain seasons of our lives. Without a doubt, they are strongest when we are suffering with low self-esteem, but even on days when we highly-esteem ourselves, our nature is to solicit confirmation of our worth. Continue reading Do You Accept Rejection?

Making Peace with your Image

Glance at a flower and it will amaze you with its beauty. Take a deep look at the details of each pedal, the leaves and it’s stem and you may not be as impressed. I mean really, what is this?

Flowers wilt; they fall over or break, and very often they have many deformities. No flower is perfect, yet only a fool would dare to criticize the details of that which was presented to them for sheer pleasure. I’m not saying that no one rejects the bouquet of flowers given them (Actually, I’ve personally witnessed an ungrateful critique insult the generosity of their flower-giver’s heart.). I am saying that those who are critical of beauty are foolish. Continue reading Making Peace with your Image