Category Archives: relationships

Finding Confidence in Knowing You are not Alone

Do you ever feel like you are completely alone because no one understands you?

not aloneAfter a few years of working full time as a hairdresser I began having back problems. Here I was in my prime of life ending each day in excruciating pain. I felt like such a wimp!  My co-workers and clients thought I was, too, because I would complain about my pain, but continue to work hard so I looked like a hypochondriac. If it was really that bad, why wouldn’t I stop?

Looking back, I can tell you that I was trying to prove to myself that I was stronger than I felt but at the time I didn’t understand myself or my pain. I just felt weak and foolish. In reality, I was desperate for comfort and validation. I needed to know I was not crazy, that my pain was real and that I would get better.

A doctor’s visit gave me the validation I needed–I wasn’t crazy, I had a ruptured disc in my neck. After reporting back to my boss, she told me how she, too, had blown a disc and had been on bed rest for a long time before she could work again.

I suppose her story could have scared me into giving up on my career, but it didn’t. Instead, it empowered me to begin treatment and get better. It gave me comfort to know someone understood my pain.

Sometimes we just need to know that we are not alone. If someone else can make it through what we are facing, so can we! Talking about our problems is not enough. Unless we are looking for answers, we may be looking like a hypochondriac. If you are in need of comfort or validation today, I encourage you to find someone who has made it through where you are, share your heart with her and remember, you are not alone.

*****

Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose personal experience with overcoming rejection, betrayal and loss–as well as her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach–is empowering women to BE and LET BE.

Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at www.CatrinaWelch.com

The Secret to a Lasting Marriage

“Don’t give her a gun.”

This is the advice given to my friend when he asked the secret to a lasting marriage.

The quick response made me laugh out loud, I admit. But today I find myself wishing we had all taken this plea for help more seriously. A marriage in trouble is no laughing matter.

King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, had the best advice I know of:

Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom. Song of Songs 2:15 (NIV)

It’s the little attacks on a marriage garden that destroy it.

Busyness. Unresponsiveness. Comparison. Nit-picking. Pride. Honest mistakes… there are many seemingly small things that sneak into our hearts and destroy the fruit of our love. If we don’t take them seriously, more little–and growing–foxes come in. We can end up trapped inside a desolate and demeaning marriage with a bitter and broken heart. I’ve been there. So has my husband. Neither of us are so naive to think that our new garden can not be destroyed.

Knowing our vulnerability has made us strong.

marriage mottoEighteen years ago today we stood before God and promised to love each other through better or worse. We did not need our pastor’s prompting for our vows–we memorized them because we each knew the pain of loving someone who had not taken them seriously.

Our marriage motto is “value the person over the event.” It has served us well.

Foxes still weasel their way into our marriage, but we quickly chase them out. When problems arise between us we are committed to looking deeper than the issue at hand and working it out. We refuse to treat each other like the enemy.

Every one of us can be an emotional mess at times. Let’s remember that true love chooses to be bigger than emotions. Giving grace is the best method of revealing someone’s faults. Forgiveness is what gives us strength to work it out. If you are struggling in your marriage today, I encourage you to be tenacious about finding the real problem. Too often there’s a sneaky little fox stirring up a conflict so that he can take over your garden. Don’t let him! 

*****

Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose personal experience with rejection, betrayal and loss–as well as her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach–is empowering women to BE and LET BE.

Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at www.CatrinaWelch.com

5 Ways Memories Build Confidence

Why do you celebrate Memorial Day?

US_Navy_110530-N-HW977-025_Capt._Jay_Kadowaki_places_flags_at_the_grave_of_his_uncle,_U.S._Army_Spc._Robert_Kadowaki,_who_served_during_the_VietnamCape Cod there is buzzing with restaurants re-opening, “snow-birds” returning and tourists arriving. Summer is coming at last! It almost seems counter-productive to slow down and enjoy a holiday, but remembering those who died for our freedom is important for many reasons.

After losing our daughter, my husband and I held a Valentines gala to raise funds for a scholarship fund in her memory. Over the 13 years that we did this it became very apparent that not everyone understood the power of a memorial. Celebrating memories is not about wallowing in past sorrows; it’s about moving on with hope.

Like looking in a rear-view mirror, our memories are meant to give us proper perspective of where we have been and who is following us so that we can forge ahead and not hold back those we lead. We would be a fool to focus in the rear view mirror while traveling full-speed-ahead. We would also be a fool to never glance back. There are times, like this weekend, when what is in the past, is worthy of pulling over for. Why? Because memories build confidence.

  • By sharing in each other’s lives–past, present and future–we build powerful bonds that should be enjoyed.
  • Recalling the good that came out of the bad reminds us that there is something worth living for and gives a purpose to our pain.
  • Sharing a stories of lessons learned in trial encourages others to find strength in their difficulties.
  • Celebrating victories is what gives us energy to continue.
  • Most of all, when we honor the courage of those who died on our behalf, we show the next generation that there is something worth fighting for.

If you are struggling with memories you want to forget or ones you can’t let go of, maybe it’s time to share your story with someone and then celebrate the good that came out of it. 

*****

Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose personal experience with rejection, betrayal and loss–as well as her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach–is empowering women to BE and LET BE.

Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at www.CatrinaWelch.com

Serenity–the Secret to Finding Confidence

“Stay on the sidewalk,” the father told his toddler as she proudly waddled her way onto the grass toward the traffic I was sitting in. I halted to a complete stop, nervous that she would keep coming, but her daddy was watching her closely and quickly came to scoop her up when she giggled and increased her speed in disobedience to his words, “no, no, honey, come back here.” I had to chuckle at her screaming with frustration in his arms as he calmly continued on his way. I’ve been there, done that.

serenity prayerMonday night I am going to talk with some ladies who have recently served time in Barnstable County Jail House. I don’t know their stories yet, but I am not afraid to assume that long before they broke any law their heart was broken.

Hurting people hurt people.

Some of us are hurt when we don’t get our way–like the little girl who just wanted to enjoy her new mobility. We may respond like she did: “Don’t tell me I can’t do this! I’ll show you.” As we run into dangerous areas. Or we may succumb to the restrictions put on us and never really become independent.

Unfortunately, some of our hurts and frustrations are more severe–like emotional, sexual, and physical abuse or neglect–and our response may be to kick and scream and hurt others. Or it may be to shut down our spirit and trust no one.

We respond to life’s challenges according to our personality. I believe that the key to overcoming the pain we have endured and finding the confidence to go on is in understanding our response and that the secret to experiencing true healing is found in the age-old Serenity Prayer.

Maybe you, like the little girl constrained in her daddy’s arms–or girls once in jail–want to get back on the right path and walk on your own again. Breaking free isn’t easy, but it is as simple as asking your Father to put you back down and then listening for His direction as you try again.

*****

Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose personal experience with rejection, betrayal and loss–as well as her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach–is empowering women to BE and LET BE.

Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at www.CatrinaWelch.com

 

When Mother’s Day is Painful

footprints
photo by April Bentley of Eastham, Ma

My daughter was near her final days when I picked up my pen to write down what I felt God speaking to me.

These words–straight from my heart–were handed out at Rebecca’s funeral. Today I dedicate them to all the men and women who find Mother’s Day painful.

To those of you whose heart is full of regret or sorrow, when memories haunt you or longings taunt you, may you find comfort in knowing there is Someone who understands and cares. May you find a purpose for your pain, and the strength to continue.

God’s Comfort to Our Family and Friends by Catrina Welch

This child is my gift to you, like a delicate flower.

Do not expect her life to last like that of a carnation.

Her purpose here is a quick and powerful one.

Enjoy each moment.

Do not waste time in meaningless comparison,

And do not get caught in the trap of self-pity,

Or you will miss the blessings I have in store for you.

I love you and long to bear this yoke with you.

I want to ease your pain; I do not want to take it away.

Because if I did, I would take away all the victories, the lessons,

The character being created in you.

I promise, I will never leave you, nor forsake you.

I will bear this load with you, if you just draw near to me.

Trust in me, and tell of the wonders you will see.

There are great riches in store for you,

But if you only look at the pain and sorrow, that is all you will see.

Look unto Me and my Son.

When you want to find comfort in the sympathy of others

When you feel as though no one understands,

When you are tempted to sit and compare your circumstances with others,

Look at the cross, look at the life of my Son.

He understands.

He knows what it is like to anticipate great trials and great pain.

He understands rejection and betrayal.

He knows misunderstandings and false accusations.

He understands what it is like to be raised by a father who is not his own.

He has felt every physical and emotional pain.

He has felt separation from Me,

And I have felt the great pain of losing a child I so dearly loved.

Let me bear this cross with you.

You have honored me as Creator and Master; right now, let me be your “Daddy.”

Climb into my lap, and I will give you rest.

Wait upon me and I will renew your strength.

Trust in Me, and I will provide all your needs.

But if you turn from Me, and blame Me, How can I reach you?

I will wait, and I will welcome you back when you are done with your fight,

But I will not fight back. I am a gentleman.

I will stand at the door and knock, but you must open the door.

Only then will I enter in; and you and I shall dine together.

I will be your God, I will provide for you, protect you, comfort you and counsel you.

I love you and My grace is sufficient for you.

My power is made perfect in weakness.

Give to me your challenges, I find that to be the greatest gift of all.

And you will know my peace.

*****

Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose personal experience with rejection, betrayal and loss–as well as her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach–is empowering women to BE and LET BE. Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at www.CatrinaWelch.com

 

 

 

Finding Confidence in the Chaos

piled up laundryI love cleaning. Maybe it’s because I am so easily distracted, but I am far more engaged in a clutter-free environment that sparkles and shines. For me, cleanliness creates confidence.

I didn’t recognize my love for cleaning until I had my own home; before that I felt like it was a tedious requirement that I always failed at. When my husband built our home, I found that anything misplaced or dirty stood out like a sore thumb because everything was so new, but it also had a place to go so I could easily clean it up–especially since I was a stay-at-home mom then. Sustaining the beauty of my home became a rewarding challenge.

Now I work outside the home and my kids are older with busy social lives. With all the traffic and little downtime, it’s not as easy to maintain the laundry, dishes and paperwork. I’m sure you know what I mean. When life gets chaotic, we need to take some time to bring back the order so that we don’t become completely stressed over the little things–like finding sox.

Our soul is like our home. We cannot really shine with confidence or beauty unless we have a thorough cleaning. The reflection we see in our mirror, no matter how perfect, will always feel like a mess in our soul until we experience forgiveness.

  • We need to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we have made.
  • We need to forgive others who have wounded our hearts.

Unfortunately, most of us wait until there is so much to forgive (or clean up) that we don’t even know where to start–so we just keep going through life, making more messes.

I believe that the secret to lasting confidence and beauty is allowing God to do the major cleaning. When we take a moment to stop and accept the forgiveness that Jesus offers us, we are empowered to forgive all the little offenses that come daily. Try it. I bet you will find that sustaining the beauty of your soul is actually a rewarding challenge once everything is fresh and clean.

*****

Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker who is using her 30 years in the beauty industry to help women understand their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and overcome Image Issues that affect their Confidence. Her message is empowering women to BE and LET BE. You can now find her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at www.CatrinaWelch.com

5 Reasons Feeling Beautiful Affects a Woman’s Relationships

feeling beautifulConfidence is what makes a woman beautiful, but feeling beautiful is what makes her confident.

So, what makes you feel beautiful?

        • A) A professionally coordinated outfit
        • B) Being casual and comfortable
        • C) Makeup and accessories
        • D) Soft, flowing dresses or blouses
        • E) Finding something that fits!
        • F) Wearing strong colors, like black

The answer is different for each style of woman, but when you know, for instance, that completing your outfit with a little makeup will make you feel beautiful, then eyeliner becomes your key to self-confidence (at least until it wears off!). Understanding what makes you feel beautiful is helpful for other reasons as well:

  • If you feel beautiful, you are. Even on a bad-hair-day, you can leave a good first impression if your attitude shows no shame (and no need for apologies) because it shows that imperfection does not cause you to stumble or become self-consumed.
  • Confidence gives you moxie, which empowers you to step out of your comfort zone and get involved in people’s lives.
  • Self-confidence builds the confidence others have in you. If you don’t like you, why should anyone else?
  • People are less likely to misjudge you. If you feel beautiful, most likely you are dressing true to your character–unlike a bold woman dressed like a delicate girl–which means you are not giving mixed messages.
  • People are more likely to offer themselves to someone who is true to herself. If your beauty seems as if you are trying to be someone you are not, then others will put up their guard around you.

All this being said, relationships are what life is all about and if feeling beautiful is a factor in making our relationships good, then I think that taking care of ourselves is a win-win, don’t you?

If you don’t know which style of beauty you are, be sure to take my complimentary Image Identity (Img.ID) quiz on my website, or contact me for an individual or group image assessment.

*****

Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing our Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

Becoming Confident About Convictions

batman faceWhat a joy it was to help Faith Assembly of God with their celebration of Palm Sunday! I learned so much while painting the adorable faces of children from all over Hyannis. Some of their requests cracked me up. These kids were either adamant about having me create what they struggled to communicate, or they were timid and fearful to ask for what they wanted. I especially loved the little boy who wanted to be a vampire (even after I reminded him that Easter is about good defeating evil) and the older girl who asked her mom for permission to get a heart on her hand and then needed mom’s approval for the color it would be. Precious.

These kids made me think of my life as I have grown in my faith. There was a time that I thought face painting might be wrong and I was like the older girl–fearful of doing anything that might break the rules. I also had convictions–or desires–like the little boy (although mine were more in line with my nickname of “goodie two shoes”) that I would put my foot down and speak my mind about as if I knew it all. Take divorce, for example, I used to make people feel so guilty for their failed marriage. “You can always work it out; have some faith!” Then my (first) husband left me and, after I did all I could to keep him, I learned that I have no jurisdiction over anyone else’s choices and what happens in my live does not have to define me.

Life has a way of tweaking our convictions, doesn’t it? I know we can become more judgmental, bull-headed or timid if we allow our circumstances to build our fear, but I prefer to believe that if we are learn from life and work out our faith, confidence begins to conquer those fears and we become more balanced and peaceful. Kind of like the little boy who decided he didn’t want to be scary after all and had me paint Batman on his face instead.

If you are feeling the pressures of other people’s developing convictions, be careful to guard your heart from taking offence to their immaturity. Think of them like you would a child who is still figuring out what he believes and give them the grace to grow. After all, someone was patient with you in your developing years.

*****

Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing our Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

Helplessly Helpful

With so much neglect, abuse and addiction running ramped in our society, what do you do when you want to help someone you really care about but you just don’t know how to help?

imagesUndoubtedly, every one of us has faced an emotional, spiritual or physical difficulties that we can be confident that others will survive. After all, we did. But helping a friend with something that we have no understanding of can truly be a challenge. The people we love do not deserve inadequate assistance–not on their good days and certainly not when their need is exposed and vulnerable. Half-hearted counsel from someone who cannot relate to the crisis at hand is a bit like offering them a squirt gun to put out their house fire.

I’ve been on the receiving end of that kind of help during my grief. “Don’t worry, you can always have another child.” “At least you don’t have a lot of memories with your daughter.” Logic doesn’t always help. I get it, because I tried that method of helping for many years but I have leaned now that true compassion respects other people’s boundaries and that includes their emotions and their will. You and I cannot fix every problem and unfortunately, letting other people make their own choices can be a lot harder than taking control. It’s also very difficult when they are ready for help and we don’t know what to do. In that situation I am learning to follow the example of Jesus’ disciples.

Act 3:2-8 Now a man who was lame from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!” So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.

Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God.

If you are trying to help someone with circumstances that are far out of your league of understanding, don’t try to forge up feelings of empathy or fix it with advice you’ve never had to take; instead simply direct them to the One who is able to really help.

*****

Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing our Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

 

 

Are Cliques Bad?

cheering-momsCliques. Nobody likes them unless they are them.

Girlfriends who are having a good time together can (purposely or unmindfully) snub those around them, and if you are the one left out of the fun it can make you feel like an outsider. While these kinds of situations can rock the confidence of some women more than others, none of us like to be left out. But it happens. In fact, the more starved women are for “girlfriend time,” the more selfish we can be with what little of it we get and the more sensitive we can be about being snubbed.

When my kids were young I was able to be home with them and I had lots of time with friends in the same situation. It’s not that the kids, home and husbands didn’t keep us busy, but we would juggle our chores together. “Girlfriend time” was coffee in the minivan going on “lullaby rides.” We would go to the post office, dry cleaners, etc. while taking turns watching the sleeping babies so each mom could run in and out quickly. After stretching their naps out with a ride by the beaches, we would grab groceries together­–one of us would use plastic bags, the other paper–and then go to each others homes to put them away. Talking, laughing, holding each other’s babies while the chores got done. Good times. Productive, fulfilling times.

Now girlfriend time is more of a luxury that few women allow themselves. The only non-digital social time we really get is with the people who are involved in our already busy lives–they work, worship, network, carpool, or cheer at the kids games with us.

But really, is that so wrong?

 

Maybe what we need is to be more “cliquey” and start enjoying any girlfriend time we can get–even if it’s at the school event that we didn’t have time for and feel so awkward at. Maybe we need to notice more when others are longing to get in on our conversations and start include more people in our lives. Maybe it’s time we start juggling our chores together again and taking ourselves for a lullaby ride by the beaches.

*****

Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing our Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

Expecting Love on Valentine’s Day

rosesLove is in the air–or at least it should be–it’s Valentine’s Day!

What are you expecting today? Most of us want to be in a strong and romantic relationship with a perfect mate who gives, says and does exactly as you want him (or her) to but this seldom our reality–even in a happy marriage. We all need to be careful not to let our expectations become unrealistic. Cupid is fun and all, but setting our hopes on his arrow striking a bull’s eye in our lives only leaves us susceptible to disappointment.

It’s no secret that I have let disappointments rob my joy, but I’ve learned that this special day isn’t about roses and chocolates, it’s about being involved and invested in the lives of those we love.

Valentine’s Day 1999 was the only holiday we had with our first daughter. The following year my husband and I decided to throw a memorial gala to celebrate the love others showed us during our loss. For 13 years we continued this tradition. We enjoyed creating an evening for sweethearts to enjoy a dream-date, with a beautiful atmosphere, 5-course meal, flowers and candies. We even brought in a DJ and photographer. Every year we sent the guests home with their hands and hearts full. It was always a lot of fun but I think the best part was the joy in the eyes of the children whose parents were our guests.

Kids feel secure when their parents have fun together and honor each other.

If you have a spouse to love on tonight, don’t let unrealistic expectations rob your joy.

If you are dealing with great disappointment, remember, God will never leave you nor forsake you. Allow that Truth to be your strength to expect a great day.

If you don’t have a sweetheart right now, remember that there is One who sticks closer than a brother, and go honor someone who needs to know they are loved.

Most of all, if you have children, remember that honoring of their dad (or mom) is the best gift you could ever give them. If this is not possible, remember that you are their mom (or dad) and take care of you.

*****

Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

 

 

 

Unique and Confident About It

Be my valentineHow do you catch a unique woman?

You ‘neak up on her.

Actually, I think the key may be to study her; and girls, perhaps it’s time we understood ourselves so that our Valentine is more apt to want to catch us.

Seriously, as I have been spreading the word about my new book, Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, I have had tremendous interest from men who want to understand their women better. It seems that they really wish we were more confident and they sincerely do not understand why beauty is such an issue. I like to remind them that we aren’t the only “complicated” ones and that their need to be powerful and productive seems silly to us, too. But that’s a blog for another day. Today let’s discuss your unique style because being who you were designed to be is the key to being the kind of woman that a man wants to “‘neak up on” and catch.With Valentines Day coming up quickly, understanding yourself may be just the key you are looking for.

  • If you are a Classic beauty, who wants things done properly, then be proper in all that you do and all that you wear, and don’t let others make you feel badly about that. You are needed; do not let your independence rob you of the joy of needing others.
  • If you are a Natural beauty, who wants things done casually, then be simple in all that you do and all that you wear, and don’t let others make you feel like you are less. You are inspiring and inviting; allow others to inspire you, too.
  • If you are a Dramatic beauty, who wants things done excellently, then be passionate in all that you do and all that you wear, and don’t let the judgment of others make you feel foolish. You are a powerful influence; be careful not to be intimidating.
  • If you are an Ingénue beauty, who wants things done peacefully, then be gentle and sweet in all that you do and all that you wear, and don’t let others rob your peace. You complete others; let them complete you, too.
  • If you are a Romantic beauty, who wants things to be pleasing, then be luxurious in all that you do and all that you wear, and don’t let other people’s poor character shut down yours. You bring others comfort and healing; be sure to allow yourself the same.
  • If you are a Gamine beauty, who wants things done right, then be bold and colorful in all that you do and all that you wear, and don’t let your passionate work ethic rob the joy from your relationships. Your strength is needed; do not hide it, but don’t force it, either.
  • If you are a combination of any of these beauties, you may find that there are times when you are not quite sure what you want; this is not unusual. In fact it is very common for women to be unsure of what they really want for themselves (in life and in wardrobe!). This was the problem I had, and I encourage you, if this is the problem you have, then take the time to work out any areas where your priorities or choices may conflict, so that you can be confident and consistent, being your true self. For more on combination Img.IDs, see chapter 24 of Confident Beauty and be sure to watch for more blogs on the topic.

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Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com