Confidence Conflicts

Confidence Conflicts come in shapes and sizes. Sometimes it’s the snide remark of a friend or a glare of an enemy. Other times it’s the lack of response from your man or the doubting of your mom. Or…

grumpy-waitressHow about this one: the disappointing service of your waitress. (It’s happened to me a couple of times recently.) As women it is sometimes hard to be cared for by another woman, but when we get up the gumption to have someone else bring the meal to our family we certainly want to be treated right! It’s frustrating to have to wait an unreasonable amount of time and then be given something other than what you ordered. It’s especially frustrating to be ignored, insulted and treated like a burden by the one who wants a gratuity on top of the over priced entrées. Yea, this can be a conflict to our self-confidence. Why was she so grouchy and rude? If she doesn’t want to serve others maybe she should be in a different line of work! Does she think I’m some rich girl who goes out to eat every meal and just came to her for nutrition? I just wanted a quiet moment of being pampered…

Ok, I’m a Dramatic. Dramatics like to be pampered. And we–like the Romantics and Ingénues–tend to take conflicts like this personally. Insults sting. They don’t make us mad; they wound us. Gamines, and Classics are more apt to get mad and demand justice. Naturals, well they feel bad for the one who is doing them wrong. Maybe we should all be more like the Naturals who see through the injustice to the heart of the one hurting them. Their sincere desire to justify that person’s motives is selfless and Christ-like and we would all do well to let confidence conflicts roll off our backs like they do.

I was raised by a Natural and it is my secondary personality, which is why I tend to feel so badly for having no compassion on my waitress. I know I should have more grace for her, but a lot of confidence conflicts are coming my way all at once right now, and when we feel down we can all get a bit defensive. When I get supper sensitive like this I know I need some cocoon time. I was looking to my waitress to refresh me but, in my state of need, her bad day only withdrew a little more of my confidence. When I tuck away with my Creator and let Him change me from a selfish caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly who soars above the conflicts and draws others to peace and comfort then no one’s words or actions can conflict with my confidence, because it does not come from their approval or performance. Ahh, there is strength in letting others be who they are without taking it personally or feeling as though I must correct, punish or condemn them.

God, help us all to BE and LET BE. We want to rely on You for refreshment. Your joy is our greatest strength. Please fill us with the joy of knowing your Salvation. Your grace is sufficient for us; we accept it now and give You the control of our lives. May Your power prove itself perfect in our weakness. Amen.

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Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

If you are interested in having Catrina come speak to your friends, colleagues or ministry you can contact her on facebook or by email at catrina@catrinawelch.com.

About Catrina

Catrina Welch has been helping others with their image for more than 30 years. As a licensed cosmologist, certified image consultant and Biblical life-coach, she is well aware that image issues are far more difficult for some styles than they are for others. After her first husband left her while pregnant, she learned first hand that the greatest antidote to Confidence Conflicts is to know who you are, including your personal image identity. She developed a systematic way of doing image assessments for large groups, which she calls a “Supreme MakeOver.” Catrina is the author of five books, including “Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul.” She is the mother of four children. Catrina and Ron, her husband of twenty-five years, live on Cape Cod, Massachusetts. For more information about Supreme MakeOvers or having Catrina speak at your next event, email her at catrina@catrinawelch.com

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