A bad-hair day is not the only thing that will rock a girl’s confidence. I can think of many other confidence conflicts, how about you?
- You make a great accomplishment and no one seems excited for you.
- You don’t make the team/ get the job/position you worked so hard for.
- You are totally misunderstood and feel condemned for what isn’t even true.
- You make a horrible mistake and your apologies are not accepted.
Life can throw us all sorts of curveballs and there are simply going to be times when we are feeling down and discouraged. Confidence is predominately an emotion.
confidence |ˈkänfədəns; -fəˌdens| noun the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust • the state of feeling certain about the truth of something • a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities • the telling of private matters or secrets with mutual trust • (often confidences) a secret or private matter told to someone under such a condition of trust
When we are rejected, misunderstood or well, HUMAN that emotion can be rocked. We would all do well to decide not to let emotions rule our lives. We must stand strong even when we are knocked down and weak. This doesn’t mean we become arrogant and proud even when we fail, it means we stand on the Rock of our Salvation, knowing where our confidence lies: in Christ alone. To win the emotional battles that conflict with our confidence we must purposely choose to fight the emotions that cause us to feel defeated.
I find it interesting that last two clarifying definitions of confidence include the secret to securing the first two: to be truly certain about yourself you need to hold your own matters private and share them only with those trustworthy. Value your vulnerability.
I am not saying do not share yourself with others, I am saying don’t go around boasting about your weaknesses–it is no more attractive than boasting about your strengths. Share yourself (the good and the bad) like you would share your favorite piece of jewelry.
Not everyone respects you–painful as that is– but I’m willing to assume you do not respect everyone else either. I hope that your opinion of them is based on solid and godly reasoning, but unfortunately not everyone will form their opinions of you based on even slight reasoning. Some people simply are not trustworthy or respectful. “Hold your cards close” when you are around them. It is not your responsibility to share your heart with everyone, and it is unreasonable to even try to make everyone like you. When people form a harsh opinion of you be confident anyway. People of integrity expect to be believed. And when they are not, they let time prove them right.
You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone except the One who will judge you when you face eternity and He knows the good and the bad, yet He died for you anyway. When you put your confidence in His unfailing love it’s a whole lot easier to be confident when others hurt you or you fail yourself. Jesus values your vulnerability-it is a precious jewel to Him. You can trust Him with your private matters–the good and the bad. When you do well He will respond with His favor, when you do poorly He will show you His mercy, when you apologize He will cover you with His amazing grace. Keep your emotions stayed on that and you will find confidence that isn’t easily rocked.
Psalms 103:12As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
Thank you, Jesus, that I can put my confidence in Your unfailing love and that my faith is enough to please you, that I don’t have to be perfect. Thank you for the sacrifice you so freely gave to pay for my failures. Help me to expect to be believed and when I am not help me be more gracious to those who hurt me and to let go of my hope for their approval. Your forgiveness and approval is all I need.
Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com