It’s not easy being different.
Unusual beauty creates Confidence Conflicts for the gorgeous as much as it does for the less-lovely. Sometimes the reason people stare is not because of your imperfections, but because they think you are perfect—or close to it, beautiful women get gawked at too, and not just by lustful men. They too get the long, strong stares and sometimes those stares can feel or even be threatening.
Some girls, no matter what Img.ID they are, suffer from the assumptions often put on them: that they “have it all together,” that “they know they are beautiful” and are “stuck up” “promiscuous” or “showing off.” They are sometimes despised for things they cannot change about themselves–things that are not wrong.
Men and women both tend to think that a gorgeous girl is “above them”; it is often assumed that unless we too are gorgeous, we don’t “qualify” to be friends with those more beautiful. When we are not confident with our beauty, we tend to think of beautiful people as unapproachable not because of what the pretty girls have done to make us feel that way, but because of what the enemy has done to make us feel that way.
If you are a gorgeous woman, and you haven’t recognized this for what it is, and have only felt that false guilt and cynicism, you may feel very lonely. The hurt and rejection that beautiful women suffer often makes them cautious and defensive in their relationships.
You cannot change the way others feel, you must leave that with them; simply do your best to press through their judgments and show them the true you. As my husband loves to say, “people of integrity expect to be believed, and when they are not, they let time prove them right.” Give it time, pray that God would give you compassion for them and the strength to keep being you despite their judgments.
Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their image issues. It is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Loosing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available soon.