There is a balance between self-care and selfishness. Finding this balance will likely always be a challenge for most of us. I’m fifty-two years old, yet I, too, often feel the guilt of taking time for myself, especially now that I have slipped back into a self-sacrificing mommy mode.
The “mommy-mode” of always putting others first is actually a beautiful thing when our heart is right.
To be “others-conscious” and put our family’s needs above our own is sweet and honorable.
As long as our heart is.
Since my last post, I have been swept up in a tornado of drama and difficulties that tend to consume those of us who love an addict. The chaos and confusion isn’t new to me, but over the past years of my son’s addiction, I’ve found a way to continue with most aspects of my own life, no matter how out of control his was. This time, however, there’s a precious newborn baby involved and because my husband and I were given guardianship, it’s been a struggle to find balance again.
My three-month sabbatical from blogging gives evidence to that. Since the end of July, I have neglected the things that “fill my tank” and found myself emotionally empty. If you’re like me, you know that “mommy-mode” can sound sweet, but have an underlying bitterness.
“I don’t mind giving up everything I want in order to take care of you.”
To give begrudgingly is ugly
It’s beautiful to give up our passion for someone we love, but it’s ugly if our attitude is resentful.
Although there is no sweeter joy, caring for a newborn is a 24/7 commitment. It has taken some major adjusting in my schedule to find balance again. At first, a sabbatical from writing was necessary for me, but somewhere along the line, I began to believe a lie that my son’s choices had overruled mine; that because my empty-nest had a hidden egg, all my hopes for more time to write were taken from me.
Recently, the truth set me free again.
Just as we are not responsible for our adult child’s problems, neither are they responsible for how we handle the problems they give us.
When my new book, Know Who You Are – for Kids!, launched on the same day that my Granddaughter’s parents went into crisis, I felt resentful. I now recognize that none of this was no surprise to God. He knew I would be back in mommy-mode when He prompted me to write a Children’s book. How ironic.
When we don’t know what our future holds, we can still trust the One who holds our future.
How about you? Have you ever had a major lifestyle change that caused you to stop everything? If so, how did it work out for you?
As an author and speaker, my passion is in helping women and children overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, I love to use my profession, along with my experiences and training as a Biblical life-coach to help others struggling.
Get catrina’s books on Amazon