You and I face Confidence Conflicts every day. Some of them are self-inflicted because we allow our minds to dwell on our own imperfections, inadequacies and mistakes. Others are inflicted on us by the human (and sometimes evil) nature of others. But when these conflicts arise we need to decide: Will we let the insults and inflictions crush us or not?
There are times when Confidence Conflicts are based on reality and times when they are simply opinions and emotions, but even when the insults are accurate, we can choose to keep our chin up and remain strong. Granted we should be careful not to ignore or stuff the situation, we also need to allow room for grace–even if it is undeserved. If we are women with Confident Beauty, then we should not hang our heads or harm ourselves just because someone sees something about us that they do not like–even if it is something terribly wrong.
Why not? Because Someone died to cover our shame.
If this Biblical concept is not real to you, then any Confidence Conflict could be a confidence crusher. Take for example the woman at the well. (Her story is found in John 4 and there’s a whole chapter on her in my book Confident Beauty and a Bible study on her in Supreme MakeOver.) We don’t know all the details of this woman’s shame, but we do know she had been through 5 divorces and was living with a man who was not her husband. I can only imagine the wounds her heart must have suffered to have so many love-or-death commitments broken. At the risk of sounding judgmental, I give my thoughts on the matter:
- Once bitten, twice shy…
- Third time’s a charm but FIVE times? Maybe she bore some of the fault? I bet she was arrogant or proud, after all, she was trying again…
- A blame caster?
- Or perhaps she was just hard-hearted. I wonder why? Had she suffered miscarriages or maybe abortions? Did she have an issue with drinking, drugging or some other form of denying herself reality?
- Did you notice she was avoiding the other women in her life; do you think they were mean to her? Why? If she was innocent (and confident!) wouldn’t she go to the well when they did?
- Or was she innocent but feeling totally defeated because of their mis-judgments of her?
- I bet she was at the very least depressed. Was she suicidal? I wouldn’t be surprised; Jesus was very animate about going to see her even though it was very dangerous for Him.
Whatever Confidence Crusher the Samaritan woman faced, whatever she was feeling, it all changed when her Messiah showed her His love. Her spirit was no longer crushed, although the conflicts were still there. She may still have been labeled an outcast, but instead of hiding, she left her watering pot and went to the same people who hurt her and invited them to come and meet the One who set her free to BE and LET BE. Now that’s Confident Beauty, which doesn’t wear off like makeup does!
Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com