Every little girls longs to be seen, heard and significant. From the moment she enters this world she looks to her parents for love and protection. But not all parents meet their daughters needs well. Many little girls do not have both parents sewing into their lives. Many are not there at all. Some are mean or negligent. Even good and caring parents fall short of our fairytale dreams causing confidence conflicts to arise within our soul.
With youthful understanding, we learn to deal with the disappointments in life. We may respond with a desperation or with an attitude of desolation. W may give in to our circumstances or we may fight to make a change. Often we find a cooping mechanism that works and we stick with it for the rest of our lives–even if we don’t like our method of choice.
Think of the earliest time in your life when a disappointment conflicted with your confidence. Did you:
- decide to take care of yourself
- pity your offender or justify his motives
- look for someone else to pity, understand or approve of you
- degrade and punish yourself
- protect yourself and/or punish others
- ignore own needs and commit to making sure no one else is neglected
- take charge and make it right
How is that working for you?
If you long to change your ways and become more confident, I encourage you to pray about your earliest disappointments. Ask for help in recognizing why you respond the way you do and then take a good look at your decision and how to make it more balanced. Your personality may still greatly influence how you handle conflicts, but God can help you find the balance between self-contempt and self-conceit.
- Care for yourself, but let others into your heart.
- Care for others, but care about yourself, too.
- Accept your Creator’s approval as trump over anyone else’s.
- Believe the value Jesus put on you by paying your punishment for you.
- Understand that vengeance belongs to God, He will fight for you and protect you.
- Love yourself, then you can better love others.
- Take charge of your own responsibilities but allow others to do the same.
Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose personal experience with overcoming rejection, betrayal and loss–as well as her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach–is empowering women to BE and LET BE.
Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at www.CatrinaWelch.com