How Will This Be?

She had her whole life ahead of her. The wedding was planned, her fiancé was building their home and she was waiting the day that they would become one and start a family. She was being very careful to keep all her ducks in order. Imagine the emotions that must have run through her heart when she heard the news of her prenuptial pregnancy.

“How will this be, since I am a virgin?”

Mary didn’t respond the way an average girl her age would. I don’t know about you, but if I ever had an angelic encounter, I doubt I would have been as clear headed as Mary was! I would have been more like, “What? Wait! WHY ME?”

Our subconscious mind does not have a sense of humor. 

The questions we ask ourselves direct the way we handle life’s situations. The subconscious mind won’t easily abandon an unanswered question. When we ask difficult questions like, “why me?” our minds may respond with a killer answer like, “because you are a looser! You deserve this mess!” Of course, we could also respond with pride, “because you totally rock and you deserve this more than anyone else!” Either way, responding to any challenge in life with the question, “why me?” will only magnify the chaos and confusion as the mind searches for a reasonable answer.

Im6365286359_2c273cdfc1_zagine if Mary had asked, “why me?” instead of “How will this be?”

I am sure there were times in her life, depending on her confidence level, when she struggled with pride and shame like the rest of us, but her question to Gabriel did not lead her toward either of those dangerous emotions. Instead, her question lead her to accept the challenge of becoming the virgin mother of the King of kings.

“Why me?” makes the situation we are dealing with all about us. Surely Mary could have made her challenge all about her, but she didn’t. Instead of asking “why me?” she asked “How will this be?” This question wasn’t argumentative. It was definitive; she wanted more details. I think she was a Classic, because her question shows her need to know that the angel’s declaration was not a contradiction to her faith. Classics want details and it is very important to them to follow the rules. It is apparent Mary knew and loved God’s law and surely she knew that He would not ask her to break the law in order to become pregnant, therefore she needed to know:

How will this be?

There will be times when we don’t understand why something is happening in our lives. There will always be times when we don’t know what on earth we are supposed to do about our situation. I mean, really, what other option was there for Mary except to break the rules or rush her wedding?

A miracle.

Mary didn’t know what to do, but she didn’t take control, panic, stress out, or shut down. Instead, she asked the right kind of question. If she had asked “why me?” instead of “how?” she would have made her situation all about her. Instead she experienced a great miracle of God.

If you find yourself in a time of chaos or confusion, with a sudden change in your life’s plan, I encourage you to follow Mary’s example. Instead of asking why the situation is happening to you, ask how you should handle it. Who knows, maybe you, too, will experience a miracle. 


 Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose passion is empowering women and girls to BE and LET BE. Her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach, as well as her personal experiences with abandonment and grief make her message relatable to anyone dealing with rejection, betrayal or loss.

Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, will soon be available as an audiobook. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at

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