Martyr or Diva?

I love writing; I studying, I love teaching what I learn. I never thought blogging would be so hard. Today is my study day, and I have been so inspired to share some great things from God’s Word at the Daughter’s of Grace Women’s Conference in a few weeks. I thought I would duplicate my time and blog about some of my study on Restoring the Feminine Heart… but (maybe you know this Christianize?) “I just do not feel released to.”

self indulgence

Inspiration simply cannot be pushed. I guess that’s what makes blogging so hard. I’ve never written on a schedule before. I’ve never even considered writing work before. In fact, I consider it more like chocolate or a massage: something I would love to have/do at any given time but don’t allow myself the treat. I guess it is a confidence issue. I feel I must earn the time to write since I enjoy it so much and it feels like play.

Women do that with their image.

It may be time for a haircut or a new wardrobe, but she will put it off, unsure she has earned the right to be taken care of by someone else or spend money on herself. She must take care of everyone else first, and then maybe she’ll spend (the smallest amount she can) on herself. And feel guilty about it.

Or not.

Some women do just the opposite. There are Divas who feel they deserve all the attention, and that money was made for their extravagance. But that’s harder to blog about; I won’t go there. I can’t. The only time I felt that way in my life was when I was desperately hurt by my first love and I needed to find my worth again. I don’t want to judge any woman who may feel the way I did back then.

We each have our struggles.

God help us find the balance between self-martyrdom and self-worthiness.



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