Tag Archives: balance

Are you Influential?

Ambitious. Hard-working. Multi-tasking–these words describe most  women in today’s culture. Dreamers, with great desires for ourselves and our families. We are strong and courageous and are willing to give up so that others can get.

Women are influential

As emotional and relational beings, our mood sets the atmosphere around us. When we are peaceful, others relax. When we are joyful, others enjoy themselves. We should not underestimate the power of our presence because, when we recognize our influence,  we can make a difference in our world.

We have the ability to  create a beautiful environment in our homes for our marriage to flourish and our children to blossom. We have it in us to become self-disciplined, and to discipline our children well and train them in the way they should go. When we build on our strengths and overcome our weaknesses, we increase our sphere of influence (as big or small as that may be) because women who are confident enough to bless others are women who people want to be around. Continue reading Are you Influential?

When Transitions Take FOREVER

keep goingIt’s Memorial Day Weekend. A lot of preparations have been happening on Cape Cod to prepare for the start of our busy season. Many businesses have reopened, restaurants have restocked and summer homes have been completed. 

Yet, as the tourists arrive, the excitement is clouded because the warm weather has not yet made it’s full transition. Our beach parties and backyard barbecues will likely need relocating out of the cold, wet wind.

Confidence and expectations

Life is full of delayed transitions. Consider the times you have worked hard to accomplish something  but one thing after another interrupts the progression and stalls the grand goal. Maybe it was your graduation, certification, the permitting of your business or occupancy of your home. Some goals we only have partial control over, like training our children, healing relationships, or motivating change.

Some transitions will never come without our conscious effort. Others we have no influence over.

Like the weather.

I’m quickly approaching fifty and I have experienced Summer each year of my life, haven’t you?

We can find confidence in consistent transitions. 

I feel bad for the people arriving “on Cape” right now. This may be their only weekend to visit our beautiful area of the world. Yet, in reality, the damp weather doesn’t change the beauty of our beaches.

Expectation does.

Unrealistic expectations clouds our vision of beauty in the transition.

Those of us who are blessed enough to be here longer than the holiday weekend ought to find peace in knowing that this is not our only chance to enjoy Cape Cod’s scenic landscape.

Expecting beautiful days makes difficult ones easier to endure.
How you handle delayed transitions is a big indicator of your Img.ID, what do you do when you are disappointed?

C: Learn more, work harder 
N: Stay steady, wait 
D: Feel devastated... or more determined 
I: Feel insulted and insecure
R: Shut down, feel discouraged
G: Take charge, make it happen 

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

Confidence gives resilience in delayed transitions

As a new mom, I felt like a failure when my toddler took time to potty train. After  my own mom reassured me that my boy would not be in diapers forever, I began to relax and enjoy the process.

As a wounded divorcee, I was anxious about dating my future husband, until he reassured me that if our relationship was God’s will today, it would still be God’s will tomorrow and we should take one day at a time.

When I was writing Confident Beauty, I was also running my business, being a bookkeeper for my husband’s business, leading a women’s ministry and raising three active children. I wasn’t sure if I would ever get an agent or a publisher; but if I didn’t expect it to, I wouldn’t have continued writing. It took me four years to complete my manuscript.

If you are you running hard after a goal and experiencing Confidence Conflicts because of delayed transition, I encourage you to  find the strength  to keep going. There will be dreadful downpours–they may even happen on the days you expected to celebrate–but if you don’t allow unrealistic expectations to cloud your vision, you will eventually see that every type of  beauty finds its strength  by persevering through the damp and dreary days. 

And let us not grow weary while doing good,
for in due season we shall reap 
if we do not lose heart. -Galatians 6:9

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

Do Ashes Cover your Beauty?

My nieces were leaning on the edges of their seats, intrigued by the age-old story of Cinderella. My daughter was playing the role of the mistreated orphan who didn’t give up when life dealt her difficulties. Watching her performance through the eyes of the children had me reminiscing of the days when Tori’s  dream of being a princess wasn’t a performance in a play.

Little girls aren’t ashamed of their desires.

Deep within every female heart is a desire not only  to catch the eye of a prince, but to leave behind their meaningless, unappreciated lives and live an adventure.  Remember when you once thought you would  play an irreplaceable role in a most wonderful life in a far away place?

I remember my daughter’s first “princes dress.” She loved to twirl around to show her daddy how  full and beautiful it was on her. It made me panic.

I was afraid my little girl was becoming vain, so I did as most people who witness such behavior would: I talked her right off of her high and mighty horse and back into reality. Modesty is a golden virtue, right?  It’s our job to train our children in the way they should go, and the chances of my kid  becoming a princess is quite slim, so as a mom I thought it wise to protect her from life’s disappointments!

Surely that’s what Cinderella’s stepmother was thinking as well.

As we grow up, we reason that our desires are childish.

I love that my teen still freely enjoys “twirling” for an audience. She has a gift for acting and singing. When I was young, I was embarrassed by my love for the arts. I guess I was more like Cinderella that my daughter is.

“Cinderella, your are so SELFISH! Mend my dress!”

As her family demanded she worked for their dreams–while throwing insults at her’s–Cinderella was forgetting who she was designed to be. Like the filthy soot that covered her beautiful face, she allowed her burnt-out dreams–the cinders–to cover her identity. Her real name was Ella.

We cannot accomplish big dreams with squelched desires

We are all tempted to give up on our dreams. We also  have the option of pressing through life's oppositions  toward success. The way you respond to that second option is a big indicator of your Img.ID:

C: Get the education; do the work (The Classic)

N: Stay optimistic and loyal; don’t give up (The Natural)

D: Creatively make it happen (The Dramatic)

I:  Tenaciously hold your ground (The Ingénue)

R: Considerately continue on; quietly accomplishing (The Romantic)

G: Work hard; fight to get it done. Now. (The Gamine)

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

Whether your dream is to  rule a nation or to have a happy family, you will only have the strength to accomplish it if you do not allow  the desire for it to burn out. Whichever way you or I respond to those who try to squelch our desires, we would all be wise to listen to the advice of the fairy god-mother, who says there are two morals to the story of Cinderella’s Glass Slipper:

  1. Be kinder and life will go well for you. Don’t act out of jealousy or be demanding like the stepsisters. You were dealt a certain hand; play with the cards you have. Forcing others to play your hand or to give your their’s is wrong. In the end, no one who cheats wins.
  2. If the shoe fits, wear it. Don’t cover your beauty with ashes. BE who you were designed to be.  A princess cannot lead well if she feels guilty for (or embarrassed by) her gifts, privileges and abilities.  Remember where you came from, or pride will  rob you of the joy of using your blessing to  bless others.

In the end, Cinderella figured out she was only beautiful when she became confident, so she washed off the ashes and put on her crown. Are you ready to do the same?

For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.  -Luke 12:48b

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

How Rhythm Affects Confidence

Consider the weather patterns and the cycles of seasons. The ocean’s tides ebb and flow aw the moon waxes and wanes. We literally schedule our lives around by the rhythm of nature. If there were ever a pause in the rising or setting of the sun, we would all panic.

It’s not just your surroundings that has rhythms. So does your body. Your breath and heartbeat have patterns; so do your physical needs, such as eating, sleeping and… getting your hair done.
When I worked in the salon, I was always fascinated by the different responses my clients had regarding scheduling their next appointment. I could always count on the Classic and the Gamine to fill my book six weeks out. The others, not so much. The Ingénue and Romantics were concerned someone else might need them and they did not want to say, “no” to anyone (or cancel on me!), so they would  shy away from rescheduling. The Natural doesn’t like to spend money and, to her, haircuts are a frivolous expenses. Besides, they do well with “wash-n-wear” styles that don’t need as much upkeep. The Dramatic, on the other hand, wants another appointment–she loves beauty treatments, but her spontaneous nature doesn’t like being committed to something that might keep her from another opportunity.

Yes, I may be generalizing. Your Img.ID is not the sole factor in how often you get your hair done–life is far more complicated than that–but, still, let’s consider why it’s so hard for most women to schedule time for themselves.


The way you feel about self-care is a big indicator of your Img.ID:

C: It’s necessary, professional and a private matter (Classic)

N: Haircuts are only worth the time or money when it’s necessary and practical (Natural)

D: Style and hygiene are important. Hair is a creative tool of expression. (Dramatic)

I: I love to be creative with my hair myself. There’s no need for someone else to fuss over me. (Ingénue)

R: I’d love to get pampered and made beautiful, but it feels selfish. (Romantic)

G: Maintaining a clean-cut appearance is vital to my identity. I like to have fun with my hair. (Gamine

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

Find your rhythm

As professionals, most hairdressers will suggest another appointment before you check out of the salon. (It helps us to keep working, but more than that, it ensures that the client will be able to secure her favored stylist.) I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had a clients shocked that she needed me exactly when I wanted to schedule her.

If you have long, one length hair, you may be able to stretch out the time between your haircuts, but if you wear your hair with any kind of a style, I would recommend you figure out how often you will need a trim and plan accordingly. Most women need their hair cut every six to eight weeks. If you wear very short hair, then you may need two cuts within that time.

Hair grows. You may not be able to set your clock by the  rhythm of your follicle growth, but you can count on it enough to put some maintenance time in your calendar.

If you struggle with taking time for, or spending money on, your hair, I challenge you to consider your thoughts. Do you also feel guilty when you need to sleep or eat? I hope not! A woman with Confident Beauty knows her needs and takes responsibility for meeting them (including when that means asking for help). I think we could all learn from the rhythms of nature.

We all  take the time to sleep every day. We all buy groceries  every week. And we all have some things we need to take care of every month or so–like a haircut.

Think about it.

When we find the rhythm for taking care of our hair like we do our other cycles, we don’t have to go through the emotional torment of trying to decide if we need or deserve a little salon time  or not. Instead, when our hair starts to frizz or flop, we can rest assured in the confidence that we already have an appointment

No guilt. No shame. No need to justify, excuse or explain. Just pure and simple self-care.

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

4 Steps to Dressing True to You

When you walk into a room which shows up first, you or your clothing?
One way to find out is to listen to the compliments you get. Are about you or your outfit?There’s a big difference between, “You look beautiful!” and “What a beautiful dress!” As women, we enjoy a compliment, and we should. It’s like a hug that simply affirms us and encourages our spirit.

The bearhug of all compliments–the I want for every one of my clients–is: “Oh, wow, that is so YOU!” The wow factor is by far the biggest confidence booster, don’t you think? How often do you get a “wow”?

I’m sorry. I know,  that was a painful question.

I don’t get them very often either, and, hey, I know how to dress true to myself.

shy-863056_640In reality,  it takes a confident, generous person to give away such a valuable thing as words of affirmation–especially when Continue reading 4 Steps to Dressing True to You

FREE Giveaway this Giving Tuesday

It is “Giving Tuesday,” a lot of wonderful organizations receive a great part of their funds this one day of the year. (I sure got a lot of requests, did you?) I know that giving is a great way to start the Christmas season and of course I want to support the many wonderful causes, but honestly, I struggle with stinginess. After all, there’s shopping to do–gifts to buy–what if I run out of money and don’t get to spoil my kids the way I want to? I am reminded of a time in my life when I wrestled with God over my attitude.

Financial fears were robbing me from enjoying my abundant blessings.

I was sitting at my kitchen counter having a quiet moment of reflection. Looking around at my new house, I was overwhelmed by all the shopping that needed to be done to make the big, empty space into a home.

I needed some encouragement, so I opened my Bible and found this:

The generous soul will be made rich, And he who waters will also be watered himself. Proverbs 11:25 NKJV
The generous soul will be made rich, And he who waters will also be watered himself. Proverbs 11:25 NKJV

“You need to become more generous.”

“Ouch! Really, Lord, more generous? My husband already gives more than we should. We have a mortgage now. I don’t want to risk loosing what we have worked so hard for!”

“That’s what I’m saying, my daughter. You are benefiting from your husband’s generous heart. I love to bless people who, like a vessel, gratefully receive and willingly shares what they have been given. Through an open vessel my heart is revealed to others, not a closed one. Do not cling to what you already have or the fear of loosing it will engulf you and hide my heart from others.”

Stinginess is not beautiful.

There are some lessons in life that we may have to learn over and over before we really get them. I’m not sure I’ve got the generosity thing down yet, but in honor of Giving Tuesday, I thought I would practice what I’m learning (again) by giving away what I feel is one of my best accomplishments, my book.

Click Here to Submit your request for a FREE copy of Confident Beauty

Of course there’s a catch…

I will give you a copy of Confident Beauty, Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, but I want you to give it away to anyone in your life who has or is facing some kind of Image Issue (and yes, you can make it a Christmas gift). Deal?

What are Image Issues?

An Image Issue is any physical, emotional or spiritual Beauty Battle that challenges your confidence and makes you feel ugly, ashamed, invisible, unwanted… It could be a birthmark, an inability, or disproportion that makes you HATE, HIDE, or get HUNG UP on your appearance. It may show itself as weight issues, skin problems, eating disorders, addictions, social stigmas or OCD. It may drive you to act with disgrace, or strive for perfection. It may look like popularity and dress like a diva or appear humble, care free or completely grunge. Others may see it as an over-concern for fashion, makeup or piercings, or it could be a total lack of concern for body image.

Beauty out of balance is not beautiful.

Confident Beauty is a balance of caring for self and for others, and that’s what my book is all about. The greatest thing I could give you or the one you love is the insights I found and share in Confident Beauty. Image issues show up in a number of ways, but they all come down to one thing: beauty out of balance is far from confident. Truth is what sets us free.  Do you have a woman or girl in your life who could use some help understanding herself and the emotional (and spiritual!) battle she faces?  If you want to give her something that can help her become a Confident Beauty–inside and out–then please click the button below.

Tonight I am giving away 10 audiobook 3 paperback books for FREE. Just click the button below to tell me where (and which type) to send your copy.

Click Here to Submit your request for a FREE copy of Confident Beauty

Cover ConfidentBeauty CVR-LGNote: there is also a QR code to get a FREE ebook in the cover of every paperback copy of Confident Beauty (on any day of the year).

Sharing is caring!

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

 

Do You Feel Good or Guilty about “Me Time”?

It’s been nasty weather all week, but a rainy day off is a whole different game than a workday storm. It’s only natural to allow what is outside to determine our mood and motivation. As busy Americans, we may be frustrated at the inconvenience of the wet wind. The traffic is slower, the bank lines are longer, the  malls are crowded and our hair is a mess!

But a rainy day at home is a breath of fresh air–a day to relax and unwind while we catch up on housework or cuddle up with our kids. I love a rainy day off because I think I finally have time to write.

What do you like to do on a rainy day off? 

C: workout 

N: watch a movie

D: have a facial

I: do a craft

R: bake some cookies

G: organize the junk drawers 

Note: These choices represent the typical responses of each Image Identity. Click the letter to learn more about that style, including What2Wear.

On a rainy day off, do you actually do what you want?

Yea, I sabotaged my schedule, too. In fact, I thought I’d have extra writing time to work on my new book today, but I “had to” do a whole lot of other things before I would allow myself the “me time.” Now, suddenly it’s time to make dinner, and I still haven’t even gone to the market!

Why do we feel guilty about free time?

Guilt is such a distraction from reality. Think about it. When it’s gorgeous outside and we’re stuck inside, we feel like we waisted a great day. When it’s nasty out and we get to stay home, we feel ashamed if we weren’t productive. How many of us (besides Naturals) can just sit and enjoy that movie in the middle of the day without stressing over what we should be doing?

We tell each other to “stop and smell the roses” yet we believe that busy people are happy, successful people, so we keep running hard, thinking that one day we will earn some time in the garden of bliss.

Do you feel good or guilty on your rainy days off? 

If you ever beat yourself up over “me time,” I encourage you to take a deep breath and think for a moment. How do you feel when your kids laugh and play? What does your heart say when you watch them play their sports, do a craft, or laugh through a movie? Now picture them frustrated with themselves, striving to please you or someone else. Which feeling do you want others to experience when they are around you?

Personally, I’m tiered of punishing myself as if I never do enough. I’m tiered of feeling guilty whenever I take some time to do what my heart desires, whether it’s sitting at the computer or soaking in the tub. I want those around me to experience peace. I think of how satisfied I feel when my daughter practices her music. When she takes that time for herself I enjoy it just as much as she does! Granted, her angelic voice is far more satisfying to be around than the tapping of my keyboard is, but even if she sang out of tune, my mommy heart would rejoice with adoration, knowing she is pursuing what she loves.  I believe that is also how our Heavenly Father feels when we enjoy ourselves–especially when we are using our gifts–and if that’s how He feels, then we should all be working and playing with passion–guilt free!

So, go do your stretches, pull out your art, go to the spa, start the oven or pick out a movie! Do what you love to do… and you Gamines, go ahead, clean out the junk drawer, but at least dance while you do it.

Just sayin. It’s the peace that makes a woman a Confident Beauty.

“He who would love life
And see good days,

Let him refrain his tongue from evil,
And his lips from speaking deceit.

Let him turn away from evil and do good;
Let him seek peace and pursue it.

For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their prayers;
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” 
                                             1 Peter 3: 10-12

*****

As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” I help women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teach them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider me as a speaker for your next event. You can find me on Facebook, TwitterLinked In, Goodreads. For ideas of What2Wear, find me on Pinterest where I have a board for each personal Img.ID.

 

Does Beauty Embarrass You?

When dealing with a client, most professionals are taught to avoid talking about religion or politics, but there are two other topics that I believe make people even more uncomfortable: success and beauty. 

The real issue: vulnerability

Religion and politics make people squeamish because it’s difficult to have a heart-to-heart with someone for fear that there will be a disagreement in an area where there are deep convictions. Success and beauty can be just as personal. Sure, it’s fine to talk about any of these topics if we keep our opinion out of it, and yes, it is easier to have a general conversation about finances or image than it is elections or faith, but I guarantee that when an outward discussion (even if it’s general) is happening about the first two, there is also some personal self-talk going on.

Especially if the topic is beauty for a woman or success for a man.

I’m far from qualified to discuss a man’s point of view, but can we get personal for a moment about the woman’s heart? I know it’s uncomfortable, but hey, that’s why I like to write: you can read this all alone with no one looking you in the eye… or elsewhere.

The Beauty Battle

The emotional turmoil starts in early childhood when our little-girl-heart revealed its longing to be lovely. Maybe it was the day you danced before your daddy to show off your new dress, or perhaps the moment you were caught playing with your mom’s makeup… Most women can tell a story of a day she began to feel the Beauty Battle. At some point, we all recognize that there is something terribly vulnerable about a girl’s desire to be seen.

As with any emotional battle, each one of us will have our own interpretation of what we are feeling and how we should respond. Our experiences, personality, beliefs, and the responses we receive will always influence how we interpret anything we feel, but I believe their are two major problems with our interpretations of the Beauty Battle: Continue reading Does Beauty Embarrass You?

How Discomfort Creates Confidence

If you have ever been in an uncomfortable situation, you know that your confidence is the first thing affected. Think about the last time you found yourself shaking in your boots. What made you feel self-conscious, was it when:

  • You were physically, emotionally or spiritually challenged?
  • You received personal, unwanted feedback regarding something you need to improve?
  • You did, said or dressed inappropriately?

There will always be times in our lives when we step out–or are pushed out–of our comfort zone. The key to success is embracing these times so that they create something new in us instead of squelching us. Last week I shared with you how my new assistant coaching position has challenged my confidence. I wish I could say I have it all figured out now and I’m feeling like a Confident Beauty. But I haven’t, and I don’t. But I am loving the challenge. It’s physically strenuous, emotionally daunting and honestly spiritually challenging (my pride is really struggling!). I’m definitely not the victor in all arenas, but I have to say, Continue reading How Discomfort Creates Confidence

3 Methods of Managing Stress Confidently

Summer is officially here. School’s out, kids are home, trips are being planned, company is coming… there’s more daylight in our busy days, so why not do more, right? As a Native Cape Codder, I always keep a bathing suit and towel in the trunk of my car during the summer–just in case there’s a moment between work and errands to grab some quick “beach therapy.” It doesn’t take long to get my “fix” a 10 minute walk or 20 minutes of gauzing on the beauty of our shores refuels my fire like nothing else.

How about you, how do you find peace when you are overwhelmed or stressed out?

Some women take charge.  Continue reading 3 Methods of Managing Stress Confidently