Tag Archives: balance

4 Steps to Dressing True to You

When you walk into a room which shows up first, you or your clothing?
One way to find out is to listen to the compliments you get. Are about you or your outfit?There’s a big difference between, “You look beautiful!” and “What a beautiful dress!” As women, we enjoy a compliment, and we should. It’s like a hug that simply affirms us and encourages our spirit.

The bearhug of all compliments–the I want for every one of my clients–is: “Oh, wow, that is so YOU!” The wow factor is by far the biggest confidence booster, don’t you think? How often do you get a “wow”?

I’m sorry. I know,  that was a painful question.

I don’t get them very often either, and, hey, I know how to dress true to myself.

shy-863056_640In reality,  it takes a confident, generous person to give away such a valuable thing as words of affirmation–especially when Continue reading 4 Steps to Dressing True to You

FREE Giveaway this Giving Tuesday

It is “Giving Tuesday,” a lot of wonderful organizations receive a great part of their funds this one day of the year. (I sure got a lot of requests, did you?) I know that giving is a great way to start the Christmas season and of course I want to support the many wonderful causes, but honestly, I struggle with stinginess. After all, there’s shopping to do–gifts to buy–what if I run out of money and don’t get to spoil my kids the way I want to? I am reminded of a time in my life when I wrestled with God over my attitude.

Financial fears were robbing me from enjoying my abundant blessings.

I was sitting at my kitchen counter having a quiet moment of reflection. Looking around at my new house, I was overwhelmed by all the shopping that needed to be done to make the big, empty space into a home.

I needed some encouragement, so I opened my Bible and found this:

The generous soul will be made rich, And he who waters will also be watered himself. Proverbs 11:25 NKJV
The generous soul will be made rich, And he who waters will also be watered himself. Proverbs 11:25 NKJV

“You need to become more generous.”

“Ouch! Really, Lord, more generous? My husband already gives more than we should. We have a mortgage now. I don’t want to risk loosing what we have worked so hard for!”

“That’s what I’m saying, my daughter. You are benefiting from your husband’s generous heart. I love to bless people who, like a vessel, gratefully receive and willingly shares what they have been given. Through an open vessel my heart is revealed to others, not a closed one. Do not cling to what you already have or the fear of loosing it will engulf you and hide my heart from others.”

Stinginess is not beautiful.

There are some lessons in life that we may have to learn over and over before we really get them. I’m not sure I’ve got the generosity thing down yet, but in honor of Giving Tuesday, I thought I would practice what I’m learning (again) by giving away what I feel is one of my best accomplishments, my book.

Click Here to Submit your request for a FREE copy of Confident Beauty

Of course there’s a catch…

I will give you a copy of Confident Beauty, Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, but I want you to give it away to anyone in your life who has or is facing some kind of Image Issue (and yes, you can make it a Christmas gift). Deal?

What are Image Issues?

An Image Issue is any physical, emotional or spiritual Beauty Battle that challenges your confidence and makes you feel ugly, ashamed, invisible, unwanted… It could be a birthmark, an inability, or disproportion that makes you HATE, HIDE, or get HUNG UP on your appearance. It may show itself as weight issues, skin problems, eating disorders, addictions, social stigmas or OCD. It may drive you to act with disgrace, or strive for perfection. It may look like popularity and dress like a diva or appear humble, care free or completely grunge. Others may see it as an over-concern for fashion, makeup or piercings, or it could be a total lack of concern for body image.

Beauty out of balance is not beautiful.

Confident Beauty is a balance of caring for self and for others, and that’s what my book is all about. The greatest thing I could give you or the one you love is the insights I found and share in Confident Beauty. Image issues show up in a number of ways, but they all come down to one thing: beauty out of balance is far from confident. Truth is what sets us free.  Do you have a woman or girl in your life who could use some help understanding herself and the emotional (and spiritual!) battle she faces?  If you want to give her something that can help her become a Confident Beauty–inside and out–then please click the button below.

Tonight I am giving away 10 audiobook 3 paperback books for FREE. Just click the button below to tell me where (and which type) to send your copy.

Click Here to Submit your request for a FREE copy of Confident Beauty

Cover ConfidentBeauty CVR-LGNote: there is also a QR code to get a FREE ebook in the cover of every paperback copy of Confident Beauty (on any day of the year).

Sharing is caring!

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As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

 

Do You Feel Good or Guilty about “Me Time”?

It’s been nasty weather all week, but a rainy day off is a whole different game than a workday storm. It’s only natural to allow what is outside to determine our mood and motivation. As busy Americans, we may be frustrated at the inconvenience of the wet wind. The traffic is slower, the bank lines are longer, the  malls are crowded and our hair is a mess!

But a rainy day at home is a breath of fresh air–a day to relax and unwind while we catch up on housework or cuddle up with our kids. I love a rainy day off because I think I finally have time to write.

What do you like to do on a rainy day off? 

C: workout 

N: watch a movie

D: have a facial

I: do a craft

R: bake some cookies

G: organize the junk drawers 

Note: These choices represent the typical responses of each Image Identity. Click the letter to learn more about that style, including What2Wear.

On a rainy day off, do you actually do what you want?

Yea, I sabotaged my schedule, too. In fact, I thought I’d have extra writing time to work on my new book today, but I “had to” do a whole lot of other things before I would allow myself the “me time.” Now, suddenly it’s time to make dinner, and I still haven’t even gone to the market!

Why do we feel guilty about free time?

Guilt is such a distraction from reality. Think about it. When it’s gorgeous outside and we’re stuck inside, we feel like we waisted a great day. When it’s nasty out and we get to stay home, we feel ashamed if we weren’t productive. How many of us (besides Naturals) can just sit and enjoy that movie in the middle of the day without stressing over what we should be doing?

We tell each other to “stop and smell the roses” yet we believe that busy people are happy, successful people, so we keep running hard, thinking that one day we will earn some time in the garden of bliss.

Do you feel good or guilty on your rainy days off? 

If you ever beat yourself up over “me time,” I encourage you to take a deep breath and think for a moment. How do you feel when your kids laugh and play? What does your heart say when you watch them play their sports, do a craft, or laugh through a movie? Now picture them frustrated with themselves, striving to please you or someone else. Which feeling do you want others to experience when they are around you?

Personally, I’m tiered of punishing myself as if I never do enough. I’m tiered of feeling guilty whenever I take some time to do what my heart desires, whether it’s sitting at the computer or soaking in the tub. I want those around me to experience peace. I think of how satisfied I feel when my daughter practices her music. When she takes that time for herself I enjoy it just as much as she does! Granted, her angelic voice is far more satisfying to be around than the tapping of my keyboard is, but even if she sang out of tune, my mommy heart would rejoice with adoration, knowing she is pursuing what she loves.  I believe that is also how our Heavenly Father feels when we enjoy ourselves–especially when we are using our gifts–and if that’s how He feels, then we should all be working and playing with passion–guilt free!

So, go do your stretches, pull out your art, go to the spa, start the oven or pick out a movie! Do what you love to do… and you Gamines, go ahead, clean out the junk drawer, but at least dance while you do it.

Just sayin. It’s the peace that makes a woman a Confident Beauty.

“He who would love life
And see good days,

Let him refrain his tongue from evil,
And his lips from speaking deceit.

Let him turn away from evil and do good;
Let him seek peace and pursue it.

For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their prayers;
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” 
                                             1 Peter 3: 10-12

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As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” I help women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teach them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider me as a speaker for your next event. You can find me on Facebook, TwitterLinked In, Goodreads. For ideas of What2Wear, find me on Pinterest where I have a board for each personal Img.ID.

 

Does Beauty Embarrass You?

When dealing with a client, most professionals are taught to avoid talking about religion or politics, but there are two other topics that I believe make people even more uncomfortable: success and beauty. 

The real issue: vulnerability

Religion and politics make people squeamish because it’s difficult to have a heart-to-heart with someone for fear that there will be a disagreement in an area where there are deep convictions. Success and beauty can be just as personal. Sure, it’s fine to talk about any of these topics if we keep our opinion out of it, and yes, it is easier to have a general conversation about finances or image than it is elections or faith, but I guarantee that when an outward discussion (even if it’s general) is happening about the first two, there is also some personal self-talk going on.

Especially if the topic is beauty for a woman or success for a man.

I’m far from qualified to discuss a man’s point of view, but can we get personal for a moment about the woman’s heart? I know it’s uncomfortable, but hey, that’s why I like to write: you can read this all alone with no one looking you in the eye… or elsewhere.

The Beauty Battle

The emotional turmoil starts in early childhood when our little-girl-heart revealed its longing to be lovely. Maybe it was the day you danced before your daddy to show off your new dress, or perhaps the moment you were caught playing with your mom’s makeup… Most women can tell a story of a day she began to feel the Beauty Battle. At some point, we all recognize that there is something terribly vulnerable about a girl’s desire to be seen.

As with any emotional battle, each one of us will have our own interpretation of what we are feeling and how we should respond. Our experiences, personality, beliefs, and the responses we receive will always influence how we interpret anything we feel, but I believe their are two major problems with our interpretations of the Beauty Battle: Continue reading Does Beauty Embarrass You?

How Discomfort Creates Confidence

If you have ever been in an uncomfortable situation, you know that your confidence is the first thing affected. Think about the last time you found yourself shaking in your boots. What made you feel self-conscious, was it when:

  • You were physically, emotionally or spiritually challenged?
  • You received personal, unwanted feedback regarding something you need to improve?
  • You did, said or dressed inappropriately?

There will always be times in our lives when we step out–or are pushed out–of our comfort zone. The key to success is embracing these times so that they create something new in us instead of squelching us. Last week I shared with you how my new assistant coaching position has challenged my confidence. I wish I could say I have it all figured out now and I’m feeling like a Confident Beauty. But I haven’t, and I don’t. But I am loving the challenge. It’s physically strenuous, emotionally daunting and honestly spiritually challenging (my pride is really struggling!). I’m definitely not the victor in all arenas, but I have to say, Continue reading How Discomfort Creates Confidence

3 Methods of Managing Stress Confidently

Summer is officially here. School’s out, kids are home, trips are being planned, company is coming… there’s more daylight in our busy days, so why not do more, right? As a Native Cape Codder, I always keep a bathing suit and towel in the trunk of my car during the summer–just in case there’s a moment between work and errands to grab some quick “beach therapy.” It doesn’t take long to get my “fix” a 10 minute walk or 20 minutes of gauzing on the beauty of our shores refuels my fire like nothing else.

How about you, how do you find peace when you are overwhelmed or stressed out?

Some women take charge.  Continue reading 3 Methods of Managing Stress Confidently

The Beauty of Easter

If you have ever had one, you know how all-consuming the pain can be. There are few things that can stop a woman in her tracks like a full-blown migraine. Of course, there are plenty of things that are all-consuming and do slow us down a lot. Like broken relationships, fear, rejection and the big one: any concern–no matter how small–for our children.

Through most of the challenges we face, even when we cannot smile or act as if we are okay, we do our best to keep going. (I may be a emotional mess at times, but seldom will I let my house become one!) Some physical or emotional pain can be pushed through; some pain, however, only intensifies when we try to push ourselves. (When I have a migraine, I don’t even care about the order of my house!)

headache-1428019-639x469Grief is like a migraine.

When any pain becomes so sever that you cannot function, you are wise to stop everything and give yourself some time to recover.

That is what the disciples did when Jesus died. Read through the end of the gospels and you will see how much of a mess they were; and why shouldn’t they be? All their hopes, dreams, beliefs and motives had just been crucified on that cross with the friend they were sure was about to become their king. Their future was now in shambles. Life had abruptly stopped for them. Continue reading The Beauty of Easter

Don’t Get Sucked Down the Drain of Depression

Physical pain is an infliction on the psyche as much as it is a debilitation to the lifestyle. Disappointment in one’s own restricted abilities can create an internal confidence conflict that is hard to shake. I’m sure you have had an experience where an injury not only kept you from doing something, but also nag at you with thoughts of inadequacy with each painful move.

Recently I had to retire from my first love: cosmetology. I’ve developed tendinosis, a degeneration of the tendons in my right shoulder and arm. Sharp, gnawing pain has been chanting the lyrics of one of my dad’s silly song in my mind repeatedly. Have I really become “old, tiered, bent and busted”?

I try to make my weakness no big deal. I’m just injured. Maybe it’s simply time I focus more on my new love: writing and speaking. The thing is, my pain put me in an emotional funk, making it hard to focus at all. I allowed my discouragement to rule my thoughts. When your body is screaming at you to focus on pain, you do.

That may be a logical requirement for healing, but I was battling that logic. To some of us women, it feels more like selfishness to care for ourselves than it does to become discouraged and needy. This confusion can send us on an emotional spiral–like the water being sucked down a drain–into a deep depression.

Don't get sucked down the drain of depression

If there is anything I learned with the loss of my daughter, it is:

Stop the spiral, quick!

 

Which, of course, is a lot easier said than done. In fact, I cannot even imagine how to plug the drain of depression without either shutting off all emotion or getting help. For me and my husband, it was only by the power of prayer and the support of each other that we learned to redirect our thinking in order to stay away from the drain. Grief has its challenges because the thoughts that begin to “suck you in” are often beautiful memories and changing them feels like disloyalty to the one we love. I guess that’s where our faith came in. We believe God cares and that His plan is perfect even though we do not understand, which makes it easier for us to turn our memories toward thankfulness instead of bitterness. But that’s a blog for another day.

basin-248640_640

 

When it comes to injury and pain management, it’s a different ball game–or shall I say: sink.

 

You may remember from the blog about my embarrassing fall, that I am learning the balance between being desolate and demanding. I don’t want to be the girl who doesn’t care for herself at all; disrespect of self only breeds rejection. Neither do I want to be the girl (ok, getting-old-lady…) who expects everyone else to understand, care about and meet my needs and desires. I am responsible to take care of myself and when there are times I need assistance with what I cannot do, then I need to to request (and allow!) help without whining, manipulating or demanding; this breeds respect. 

The thing is, I’m still learning to take responsibility for my emotions as well as my physical needs.

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23

Last night I threw a party for my girlfriends. I found this great new line of cosmetics, and I wanted them to experience the fiber lashes. Our time together totally lifted my heart out of the drain. My injury hadn’t only caused my early retirement, it also changed my 30-year identity, took my spending money and worst of all: my girlfriend time! No wonder I have been in such a funk.

I know some of us (typically Dramatics, Ingénues and Gamines) need social events more than others (Romantics, Naturals, Classics) but we all need girlfriend time! 

If you are feeling down and drained today, explore your heart and consider what you may need to fell joy again. Perhaps you, too, need to throw a party and focus on spoiling others for a change. Or maybe it’s time you spoil yourself. If you find respite in a walk on the beach, excitement in a competitive game, satisfaction in creating something beautiful, or fulfillment in simply being heard, then make the time to care for your needs–emotionally and physically. Remember:

If mamma’ ain’t happpy, ain’t nobody happy!

Taking care of you is actually selfless and makes you will be better able to take care of those who need you.

for more information, visit me at www.CatrinaWelch.com

Are you Confident they Love You?

When my little boy was acting up, I would often ask, “Do you need a time-out or a hug?” I was learning the ropes of parenting as a single mom and I was never really sure how to discipline correctly. Sometimes kids act up because they are hungry or lonely. It’s hard to know what they need unless we really study them. After all, sometimes I act up and I don’t even know what I need!

A time-out please. In the tub. Continue reading Are you Confident they Love You?

Is your Busyness Wearing You Out? 

wonder womanBusy people are happy people.” I used to say with a chuckle every time someone told me I was doing too much.

That’s not my response any more.

I guess my busyness wore out my happiness. Eventually I had to find a better way.

Seek peace and pursue it” is more my mantra now. The crazy lifestyle that comes with an overbooked schedule got the best of me–and those around me. No one wants my stress added to theirs anymore than they want to sit down to visit and have me telling them to lift their feet so I can vacuum. I had become a disgruntled woman who felt pressured to take care of everyone else’s needs and responsibilities, but then resented them for not taking care of mine. How ugly!

After some difficult reality checks, I made a conscious decision to change my ways. But first I had to examine my heart.

  • Was I so prideful to think I was the best girl for all these jobs?
  • Was I a pushover and afraid to say no?
  • Was I seeking approval and feeling a need to be Wonder Woman?
  • Was I a control freak who needs everything done my way?
  • Was I a woman of low self-esteem who felt she should serve others because they were more valuable than me?

Perhaps I was all of the above, but I didn’t want to be any of them anymore. I needed some answers.

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load.     Galatians 6:2- 5

If you are feeling overwhelmed by a busy life, I encourage you to take an assessment of your motives. Be sure you are taking charge of your own responsibilities (your load) and allowing others to do the same. When their load becomes a burden, help them. When crisis arrises and your load is more than you can bear, allow others to help you. This can be done when you know your purpose and take pleasure in using your gifts to help others.

I’ve personally found that the tasks and temptations of busyness simply don’t draw me in me like they used to and it’s not only easier to say “no” to things that stress me out, it’s easier to say “yes” to things I know I can do.  I think the “rejoicing in himself alone” is found in the peace and joy of living a balanced life. And it’s available to everyone of us if we seek it and pursue it.   

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Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose personal experience with rejection, betrayal and loss–as well as her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach–is empowering women to BE and LET BE.

Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at www.CatrinaWelch.com