Tag Archives: beauty battle

What Makes You Valuable?

Since the beginning of time, every young child has had an innate longing to find the answer to one very important question. With each new experience, interaction and lesson of life, she collects data and applies it toward her answer. Somewhere around the teen years, she hits info-overwhelm. Like a cluttered desk, all that she has collected has piled up and she begins to wonder where the truth is. In her frustration and desperation for answers, she may frantically shuffle through the piles–moving papers–setting aside some ideas, destroying others. In her quest to find the answer, she may make a mess, but no matter how long it takes her or how painful it gets, she must know:   Continue reading What Makes You Valuable?

Do Ashes Cover your Beauty?

My nieces were leaning on the edges of their seats, intrigued by the age-old story of Cinderella. My daughter was playing the role of the mistreated orphan who didn’t give up when life dealt her difficulties. Watching her performance through the eyes of the children had me reminiscing of the days when Tori’s  dream of being a princess wasn’t a performance in a play.

Little girls aren’t ashamed of their desires.

Deep within every female heart is a desire not only  to catch the eye of a prince, but to leave behind their meaningless, unappreciated lives and live an adventure.  Remember when you once thought you would  play an irreplaceable role in a most wonderful life in a far away place?

I remember my daughter’s first “princes dress.” She loved to twirl around to show her daddy how  full and beautiful it was on her. It made me panic.

I was afraid my little girl was becoming vain, so I did as most people who witness such behavior would: I talked her right off of her high and mighty horse and back into reality. Modesty is a golden virtue, right?  It’s our job to train our children in the way they should go, and the chances of my kid  becoming a princess is quite slim, so as a mom I thought it wise to protect her from life’s disappointments!

Surely that’s what Cinderella’s stepmother was thinking as well.

As we grow up, we reason that our desires are childish.

I love that my teen still freely enjoys “twirling” for an audience. She has a gift for acting and singing. When I was young, I was embarrassed by my love for the arts. I guess I was more like Cinderella that my daughter is.

“Cinderella, your are so SELFISH! Mend my dress!”

As her family demanded she worked for their dreams–while throwing insults at her’s–Cinderella was forgetting who she was designed to be. Like the filthy soot that covered her beautiful face, she allowed her burnt-out dreams–the cinders–to cover her identity. Her real name was Ella.

We cannot accomplish big dreams with squelched desires

We are all tempted to give up on our dreams. We also  have the option of pressing through life's oppositions  toward success. The way you respond to that second option is a big indicator of your Img.ID:

C: Get the education; do the work (The Classic)

N: Stay optimistic and loyal; don’t give up (The Natural)

D: Creatively make it happen (The Dramatic)

I:  Tenaciously hold your ground (The Ingénue)

R: Considerately continue on; quietly accomplishing (The Romantic)

G: Work hard; fight to get it done. Now. (The Gamine)

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

Whether your dream is to  rule a nation or to have a happy family, you will only have the strength to accomplish it if you do not allow  the desire for it to burn out. Whichever way you or I respond to those who try to squelch our desires, we would all be wise to listen to the advice of the fairy god-mother, who says there are two morals to the story of Cinderella’s Glass Slipper:

  1. Be kinder and life will go well for you. Don’t act out of jealousy or be demanding like the stepsisters. You were dealt a certain hand; play with the cards you have. Forcing others to play your hand or to give your their’s is wrong. In the end, no one who cheats wins.
  2. If the shoe fits, wear it. Don’t cover your beauty with ashes. BE who you were designed to be.  A princess cannot lead well if she feels guilty for (or embarrassed by) her gifts, privileges and abilities.  Remember where you came from, or pride will  rob you of the joy of using your blessing to  bless others.

In the end, Cinderella figured out she was only beautiful when she became confident, so she washed off the ashes and put on her crown. Are you ready to do the same?

For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.  -Luke 12:48b

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As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

Hate the Dark, Bumpy Circles Around your Eyes?

The next time you wash your face, pay attention to your eyes. Your daily routine may be the reason for the dark, bumpy skin that circles your eyes and causes you Confidence Conflicts. A simple change in that routine could be the very thing that fixes the problem.

We naturally protect our eyes.

When any foreign object approaches our eyes, we flinch and blink. Eyes are delicate. Eyes are valuable. Not only do we need them to see, they are also the window through which others see us. It is natural to want to avoid using product around our eyes, but this innate response could be the very cause of the dark circles and bumpy skin that draws attention away from our inner beauty like a shade over a window.

We are often reminded that the skin around they eye socket is thinner and looses its elasticity, so we should be careful not to pull that skin or we will get wrinkles. We should always use our weakest (ring) finger to gently remove any makeup or apply any skin care. While this is an important habit, it can easily lead us into avoiding the eye area with our cleansing and exfoliating habits, allowing dead skin cells and product residue to build up and clog the pores.

Many women make the common mistake of carefully removing their eye makeup, but then only splashing water to remove the oil that they used to break up the mascara. Avoiding cleanser around the eyes may seem wise, but it is not.

Dark circles

While the root cause of the dreadful dark circles is not always the need for exfoliating that buildup of makeup remover, most of the time, the dark circles can be reversed. It won’t likely happen with one facial, but add a new habit to detoxification, a stretch of good health and deep sleep, and the circles will  usually fade away. In the meantime, they can be covered up with a good concealer, but keep in mind that most concealers are another heavy product that must be removed properly or you will find yourself in a catch 22, making your problem worse.

Bumpy skin, however, is not as easy to hide.

Milia

The flesh colored (or sometimes white) bumps are simply blocked sebaceous glands where keratin has become trapped under the skin and formed a small, hard cyst, called milia. These milium (plural) are typically found on the face, around your eyes or cheeks. However, they are also commonly found on the back of your upper arm, and can appear pretty much anywhere.

These millet-seed-like keratinous nodules  are nothing to fear, they are common, painless, and easy to treat, but you must be patient and persistent because they are extremely stubborn. Milium may eventually go away on their own, but it may take years. The longer you have had them, the harder you may have to work to get them to dissolve.

Whether it is dark circles or milium that are causing you Confidence Conflicts, this is my simple advice:

  1. Drink lots of water to flush skin.
  2. Get proper rest to rejuvenate the skin.
  3. Avoid products that clog the pores.
  4. Wash your pillowcase often.
  5. Use steam or warm water to open pores before cleansing.
  6. Use a gentle, daily exfoliating cleanser.
  7. Do a weekly, stronger exfoliating scrub.

Consider how long it takes your skin to heal from a cut–that is about how long you must stay persistent with treating the tiny cysts that are deep beneath the surface of your skin. It generally takes your skin about 28-45 days to rejuvenate itself. If your condition persists after a time of really focusing on exfoliation, then it may be time to see a dermatologist.

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It is also important to keep in mind that your skin is designed as your first guard against toxic elements, but many toxins seep through the skin to your body. While your skin works hard to eliminate toxins (mostly through sweat), It is extremely important to become aware of the products you are using. You can help your skin do its job, or you can hinder it. I personally recommend the certified, pure, therapeutic grade essential oils produced by dõTERRA. If you would like information on getting these products at wholesale prices, please contact me at catrina@catrinawelch.com 

I’d love to connect with you on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, and Goodreads. Please visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

When Beauty Triggers Ugly

By definition, an Ingénue (pronounced: änjəˌno͞o) is an innocent or unsophisticated young woman, especially one in a play or film. The Ingénue Image Identity is the Delicate Beauty. She typically has tight skin, a petite figure, softly feminine facial features and a sweet, gentle voice. Ingénues are almost always assumed younger Continue reading When Beauty Triggers Ugly

Your Strength is the Battlefield for your Confidence

By definition, anything dramatic is theatrical, obvious, exciting, exaggerated, striking.

The Dramatic Image Identity has a penchant and passion for the arts, fashion and beauty. Because of this woman’s strength is her eye for detail and gift in creativity, she also does  well in areas of architecture and design.

Dramatics are tall women with long, straight features and bold coloring (unless they are a combination Img.ID) who have a strong presence about them. They are exciting, inviting and highly influential.

Yet they seldom know it. Continue reading Your Strength is the Battlefield for your Confidence

How Confidence and Beauty Intertwine

  • When a woman believes she looks beautiful, she feels confident.
  • When a woman is confident, she radiates beauty.

It really doesn’t matter which style she is nor how tall, slim or old she is. The color of her eyes, hair or skin do not change the fact, nor does her nationality, upbringing or experiences in life.

A woman’s beauty is far more about what she believes than what she wears.

  • A young, buff, high-fashioned, fully-serviced diva who is mean and rude is not beautiful at all.
  • An old, wrinkled, out of shape, compassionate woman of wisdom is absolutely lovely.
  • A supermodel who hates herself is not beautiful.
  • An abused and neglected woman with strength and hope is stunning and inspiring.

I’ve spent 30 years teaching women and girls how to accentuate their beauty–that’s easy. Guiding her through Image Issues is not–mostly because it is so rare that she wants to deal with the mirror and the soul at the same time.

  • A girl who feels ugly, unwanted, invisible and inadequate may strive to perfect her image, or she may loose all confidence of ever being beautiful.
  • A girl who feels her image is her worth may strive to keep her confidence with beauty which is never satisfied and constantly changing. Or she may hate the attention she attracts and the pain beauty causes.

These women either love me (as an image coach) or avoid me because beauty can be a painful and embarrassing topic.

Confident Beauty is not found in the mirror until it is settled in the soul.

It takes a brave and mature woman to Continue reading How Confidence and Beauty Intertwine

Does Beauty Embarrass You?

When dealing with a client, most professionals are taught to avoid talking about religion or politics, but there are two other topics that I believe make people even more uncomfortable: success and beauty. 

The real issue: vulnerability

Religion and politics make people squeamish because it’s difficult to have a heart-to-heart with someone for fear that there will be a disagreement in an area where there are deep convictions. Success and beauty can be just as personal. Sure, it’s fine to talk about any of these topics if we keep our opinion out of it, and yes, it is easier to have a general conversation about finances or image than it is elections or faith, but I guarantee that when an outward discussion (even if it’s general) is happening about the first two, there is also some personal self-talk going on.

Especially if the topic is beauty for a woman or success for a man.

I’m far from qualified to discuss a man’s point of view, but can we get personal for a moment about the woman’s heart? I know it’s uncomfortable, but hey, that’s why I like to write: you can read this all alone with no one looking you in the eye… or elsewhere.

The Beauty Battle

The emotional turmoil starts in early childhood when our little-girl-heart revealed its longing to be lovely. Maybe it was the day you danced before your daddy to show off your new dress, or perhaps the moment you were caught playing with your mom’s makeup… Most women can tell a story of a day she began to feel the Beauty Battle. At some point, we all recognize that there is something terribly vulnerable about a girl’s desire to be seen.

As with any emotional battle, each one of us will have our own interpretation of what we are feeling and how we should respond. Our experiences, personality, beliefs, and the responses we receive will always influence how we interpret anything we feel, but I believe their are two major problems with our interpretations of the Beauty Battle: Continue reading Does Beauty Embarrass You?

A Woman’s Right to be Beautiful

Boys want to be strong. This is a well known and accepted fact of life. It is socially appropriate to encourage a boy to develop his strength as he becomes a man. We don’t condemn a grown man for this core desire. In fact, we are wise women if we allow our husbands and boys opportunities to play their sports and have their competitions because using their strength brings out the best in them. If we deny them their physical activity we take away the outlet for their stress.

little girl playing dress upGirls want to be pretty. This is a well known fact that is not so acceptable. When a little girl wants to develop her beauty, we quince and tell her to stop being so self-centered. When grown women feel stressed and need an outlet, they long for a spa treatment. But do they go? Well, only her hairdresser knows for sure because even if she does pamper herself, she’s too embarrassed to tell you because of the guilt she feels.

The media encourages women to indulge in their core desire for beauty, but society does not. Our husbands would love us to be as cute as the girls in the commercials, but they don’t understand our need for spa time any more than we do their silly games. Yet most men go play their sports wether their wives like it or not–and they encourage each other to play as well. Women, on the other hand, must wrestle with shame in order to enjoy a facial, manicure or new outfit because we have believed the lie that beauty is selfishness. To make matters worse, we fan the flame of that confidence-consuming lie by denying that we care about looking lovely, leaving each of us feeling as if we are completely alone with our need for affirmation. Our greatest defense is to pretend none of it matters. Beauty is child’s play.

We are pressured to obtain beauty, but discouraged from developing it. I was recently asked to speak to a group of teens who were preparing for a formal event. I had very little time and there was no warm-up to prepare the girls for the sensitive topic of Confident Beauty. Their response was intense. When I told them that they were each beautiful, they literally got angry. “No, I’m not!” was proclaimed by many of them in unison, while others rolled their eyes, laughed or dropped their faces.

Obviously, they were battling with their heart’s desire.

After speaking to the girls, I was asked to address the boys in a separate room. The difference in their response was absolutely amazing to me, although I was far from shocked since this is what I deal with on a regular basis. At first the boys were laid back and a bit board, but they suddenly became extremely interested. In fact, they had many questions and even wanted to know their Image Identity. I loved it!

The transition in their interest happened when I told them what I just communicated to you in the first two paragraphs of this blog. Several jaws dropped while they listened. This was something they had never considered before. “Think about it,” I challenged them, “if a girl puts in no effort to be beautiful, what are they? Ugly? And if they put in any effort to be beautiful, what are they? Vain? It’s not an easy thing for girls to find the balance. Cut them a break and don’t make them feel bad while they try to work it out.”

I wasn’t able to help the girls find the balance of Confident Beauty that day. In fact, I really only touched the raw wounds that they are still learning how to guard. It breaks my heart to know that most of them will end up hating, hiding or being hung up on their appearance.  I can only hope that the boys they hang around now understand them a little more and will begin to give them permission to BE who they were designed to be. If not, I’m sure they will find a way to pretend it’s no big deal, just like the rest of us.

Perhaps the next women’s rights movement should liberate us to enjoy beauty. Imagine a world where women no longer felt guilty about taking care of themselves and little girls were longer squelched from twirling their dresses and asking for attention. I wonder if the teens in that world would be comfortable with who they are? I wonder if grown women would allow aging to be a part of their beauty and no longer be afraid of it. I doubt any of this will ever happen until we accept that the longing for beauty is not selfish. It is our outlet.

Of course, if we start letting each other enjoy beauty, we should probably start letting our men enjoy their sports, too.

Just saying.

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Catrina Welch, Author, Speaker: “I’m an Image consultant without the shopping obsession. I help women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teaching them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others.” Please consider me as a speaker for your next event. You can find my website at www.CatrinaWelch.com or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Linked In, YoutubeGoodreads.

Don’t Let Christmas Kill your Confidence

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Everywhere we go silver bells and mistletoes are setting the mood to start shopping. Yesterday I stood in line at a local department store for more than 20 minutes! I love shopping, but before giving in to all the pressure to spend my time and money on getting and giving, I want to remember to be thankful.

They say Christmas is “the most wonderful time of the year” but this is only true if Thanksgiving comes first.

Forgetting to be thankful only sets us up to fail when marketing bombards us with the temptation to focus on our wishes and wants. Of course, this is Continue reading Don’t Let Christmas Kill your Confidence

Morning Makeover Meditation

As a hairdresser, I have had many women sit in my chair and request a completely new style. I look at them, with their hair soaking wet and at its worst and see in my mind all sorts of options. But that’s my gift. They look in the mirror and see a mess and all too often, along with this desire to change comes a list of things they do not like about their beauty.

“I hate my …” “can you hide my …?”

Image Issues–we all have them. Yea, maybe “only our hairdresser knows for sure” but think about it, how many other people really see you at your worst? The rest of your world, with the exception of those you live with, see you after the bedhead has been dealt with and the makeup has been applied.

We are our own worst critics.
You and I look our true-self in the face every morning and yet too often, no matter how Continue reading Morning Makeover Meditation