Most women don’t have Confident Beauty because they compare themselves to other styles, but if you have ever been mistreated because of your appearance, you know that Image Issues are more complicated than that, because BEAUTY IS DANGEROUS.
Beauty is dangerous when it defeats us.
Maybe you HATE how you look because you compare your beauty to the models in the media and you feel you don’t measure up. Maybe men have been mean to you or taken advantage of your body. Perhaps it’s women who have mistreated you and tried to demean your beauty so that they feel better about themselves.Continue reading 3 Reasons Beauty is Dangerous→
Some women are strong, spunky and secure in their opinions. The Gamine clothing personality is average to short in stature, but she is not fragile: not in build, and not in personality.
She is like a Cala Lily: strong, sturdy and full of color and variety. The trumpet-shaped flower can endure almost any condition, in the same way, Gamines thrive in situations where most of us would not know what to do. When they see crisis, they jump to action—like the flower that pokes through the ground before the rest of the plant.
Grace makes or breaks the Gamine’s beauty
The Bold Beauty has an intense work ethic, which sometimes overrides her intense love for fun. She has a quick wit, level head and a passion to fix things. Unfortunately, sometimes her drive for justice can be intimidating to others–and to herself.Continue reading Gamine – the Bold Beauty→
Often misunderstood to be overly confident, the Dramatic is actually a very sensitive woman.
The Dramatic clothing personality (which I call the Exotic Beauty) is like a tropical flower. Her unusual beauty has a powerful presence that stands out and makes a statement. Unless she has a secondary style, this girl is tall and has strong, straight features. She is passionate and expressive and has a strong drive for excellence.
All too often, girls with this Image Identity (Img.ID) are completely unaware of the influence they have on others.
Your world view is greatly determined by the way you answer this important question.
Men and women are equal.
This world view may show itself in a lot of striving to prove our equality. When favoritism is shown or life seems unfair, it is only natural to fight for our rights. Any weaker party should be given to and any stronger party should be taken from in order to level the playing field.
Do differences (in gender, strength, appearance, gifts, talents, success…) make life unfair?
Women are inferior.
This world view is often confused. When men see women as less than, or when women see themselves as less-than, it is only natural for the genders to conflict. A man trying to prove himself may mistreat the women he wants to overpower. A woman feeling down on herself may accept abuse that she does not deserve.Continue reading Is Woman Inferior to Man?→
According to David Garner’s survey on Body Image in America as reported in Phychlology Today:
56% of all women say they are dissatisfied with their overall appearance.
84% of women report dieting
14 % of women have been diagnosed with eating disorders- the majority being underweight.
1.5% of women say they vomit for weight control, yet do not feel they have an eating disorder. 3% use laxatives for weight loss and feel that is not a concern.
67% of women report that being around thin women makes them feel insecure. 45% say that models make them feel angry or resentful.
There are many reasons why beauty has such a stronghold on our hearts:
1. Beauty is an important part of the feminine heart.
The desire for beauty is not shallow or selfish; it is our reflection of the One who created us. Just as man was designed to glorify God with his strength, so was woman designed to draw others to Him with her beauty.
Unfortunately, our desire to be lovely can get the best of us if we focus on it too much. I suppose anything we give too much attention to can mess up our lives, but let’s think this through.
The desire to be strong or successful, is encouraged by society.
The desire for beauty, on the other hand, is not as socially acceptable.
Wether we pursue strength or beauty, we may be confronted with jealousy from time to time, but seldom will we be put to shame for such desires as to do well or be strong.
I was only in third grade when my ministry to girls with Image Issues began. I remember coming home from school broken-hearted because one of my friends was being picked on for her weight.
So what if some kids are heavy? I was skin and bones, is that wrong, too? Why are kids so mean? I don’t get it. I was baffled as a eight year old and I’m still baffled today. No two people look exactly alike, so what kind of logic says that differences are defects or deficiencies? And why should anyone be ashamed of how they look?
Variety is beautiful
I seldom got judged for being skinny, but It was that same year that the kids teased me because of how I dressed. I used to wear little bobby sox and apparently they weren’t “in style” (because children know these things!). I was the brunt of cruel jokes day after day until I finally told my mom. I was hoping she would take me shopping for long sox so that I could fit in.
Most women HATE, HIDE or get HUNG UP on their image at one point in their lives. For many, this is during the teenage years, but for some it’s at a very young age, for others it comes later in life.
When we are hurting and our self image is down, we may lash out at others, blame them, or become consumed by their needs while neglecting our own. Whether you punish yourself, shut down your heart, or try to numb the pain is a big indicator of what your personal Image Identity (Img.ID) is.
Every child wants to be loved. Little girls long to be seen and heard and to belong to something greater than themselves. We need to know we are valued. Boys do, too. They need adventure and challenge. They long to be strong and courageous and to be needed.
Yet we all have image issues at times. And some “times” last longer than others.
Many factors have made me hyper-sensitive to family dynamics recently: My pastor has been preaching a series on relationships, I am preparing for a mother / daughter event, I am finishing up a child’s book about the six styles of children, and most significantly, cancer has invaded my strong, influential father and I am getting a lot of extra time with my extended family as we all join efforts in helping my parents through the fight of a life-time.
How wonderful and pleasant it is
when brothers live together in harmony! ~Psalm 133:1
When is the last time someone said something encouraging to you as a person?
You are very good at that.
You are so strong!
You are beautiful.
I hope it was this morning that someone validated you as a person, but I know that in reality it may have been a long time since you have heard a positive statement about your looks, strengths or qualities. For some reason, most of us hold back from “speaking life” over each other.
“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!-Deuteronomy 30:19
The Dramatic woman is just that: passionately expressive. Conversations with her are very deep and theatrically infused with emotional word-pictures. She’s a rather private person, but somehow doesn’t mind the spot light. In fact, many Dramatics take up their profession in the fine arts and are often found in the theaters or on television. These girls (and guys) put their whole heart into their performance and their long, lean physique is easy on the camera.
The Gamine Beauty is a strong, witty, hardworking, witty woman who is driven by justice. She has an eye for detail and a passion for purpose. No grass grows under her feet. If there is work to be done, the Gamine girl will get it done. Or she will tell someone to do it. If there’s fun to be had, you can’t hold her back there, either. “ALL IN” that’s the Gamine mantra.