Every child wants to be loved. Little girls long to be seen and heard and to belong to something greater than themselves. We need to know we are valued. Boys do, too. They need adventure and challenge. They long to be strong and courageous and to be needed.
Yet we all have image issues at times. And some “times” last longer than others.
Am I lovely?
Am I strong?
Do I even matter in this world?
Continue reading The Secret to Confidence: Understanding Yourself
Many factors have made me hyper-sensitive to family dynamics recently: My pastor has been preaching a series on relationships, I am preparing for a mother / daughter event, I am finishing up a child’s book about the six styles of children, and most significantly, cancer has invaded my strong, influential father and I am getting a lot of extra time with my extended family as we all join efforts in helping my parents through the fight of a life-time.
How wonderful and pleasant it is
when brothers live together in harmony! ~Psalm 133:1
All these factors are teaching me three valuable lessons: Continue reading What is your Personal Presence?
When is the last time someone said something encouraging to you as a person?
You are very good at that.
You are so strong!
You are beautiful.
I hope it was this morning that someone validated you as a person, but I know that in reality it may have been a long time since you have heard a positive statement about your looks, strengths or qualities. For some reason, most of us hold back from “speaking life” over each other.
“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!-Deuteronomy 30:19
I was just making a bitmoji with my daughter. We were cracking up Continue reading Validation, Everyone Needs It
The Dramatic woman is just that: passionately expressive. Conversations with her are very deep and theatrically infused with emotional word-pictures. She’s a rather private person, but somehow doesn’t mind the spot light. In fact, many Dramatics take up their profession in the fine arts and are often found in the theaters or on television. These girls (and guys) put their whole heart into their performance and their long, lean physique is easy on the camera.
For the same reasons, many Dramatics are Continue reading What to Wear for the Exotic Beauty
The Gamine Beauty is a strong, witty, hardworking, witty woman who is driven by justice. She has an eye for detail and a passion for purpose. No grass grows under her feet. If there is work to be done, the Gamine girl will get it done. Or she will tell someone to do it. If there’s fun to be had, you can’t hold her back there, either. “ALL IN” that’s the Gamine mantra.
The Beauty Battle for the Gamine is often fought within her own heart. Her strong presence and apparent convictions put up a front that protects her from most outside attacks, but Continue reading What to Wear for the Bold Beauty
There’s something very attractive about the innocence of a child. Just being around a joyful little girl enjoying her playtime can lift the dreariest of attitudes and encouraged the depressed. That’s what it’s like to be around a Confident Ingénue.
ingénue | ˌanjəˈno͞o, ˈänjəˌno͞o |
an innocent or unsophisticated young woman, especially in a play or film.
The Delicate Beauty has a sweet, gentle way about her. She’s considerate and kind and she has a positive outlook on life–at least until someone takes advantage of her and she finds herself in a Beauty Battle. Because of her petite frame and soft voice, she is often an easy target for a “big bully” and because this girl feels things so deeply, when she is mistreated it may very well send her into an identity crisis. Continue reading What to Wear for the Delicate Beauty
When did the quest to find yourself begin? Did you know who you were as a little girl? Did you discover your true identity in High school? Did your passion, purpose and personality suddenly reveal itself, or was it a progressive unveiling?
Who am I?
Most of us question our identity throughout our lives. We begin by roleplaying with our Barbie dolls and continue testing and attempting various attitudes and approaches throughout adolescence. As we try various sports, arts, hobbies and studies. Slowly we discover our likes and dislikes.
As we mature, we learn to relate to others and begin to solidify our opinions and interests, but many of us continue to “play house” well into the season of managing one for real, because we still have not found peace with our true self. Continue reading Making Peace with your Style
With Texas facing such unfathomable devastation, I find it hard to blog about beauty today, but since the media is so concerned with Melania’s choice in shoes right now, I suppose it’s not too inappropriate to discus the topic.
It’s true, what we wear on our feet shows how committed we are to the activity or occasion we are preparing for. If you say you are going to the beach, yet you are wearing boots, I might not take you seriously. If you are going to play backyard tennis, you may get away with wearing any sneakers, but if you are serious about playing, you will wear tennis shoes. (Source: tennisracquets.com/collections/oliver-thomas-bags)
Don’t wear any kind of sneakers, however, if you are going to the courthouse or you may be condemned by the judge. There are certain times when formality is expected.
Typically, formality is expected every day for the FLOTUS, (or for a model for that matter!)
Except when it is not–then she may be condemned for dressing up, even if she planned to dress-down before arriving at the disaster area.
A lot of beautiful women face this problem of being judged harshly for dressing up–especially Dramatic & Classic women, who tend to be more formal in nature. Personally, this is one of my hot buttons. I hurt for the girls who are criticized and snubbed because (ironically) the “mean girls” think the pretty girls are snobs. Of course, it does go the other way as well, and pretty girls can be mean, but everyone sees the wrong then. Doesn’t anyone see that some women are simply more confident and comfortable in stilettos? Continue reading Are you More Confident in Stilettos or Sneakers?
Glance at a flower and it will amaze you with its beauty. Take a deep look at the details of each pedal, the leaves and it’s stem and you may not be as impressed. I mean really, what is this?
Flowers wilt; they fall over or break, and very often they have many deformities. No flower is perfect, yet only a fool would dare to criticize the details of that which was presented to them for sheer pleasure. I’m not saying that no one rejects the bouquet of flowers given them (Actually, I’ve personally witnessed an ungrateful critique insult the generosity of their flower-giver’s heart.). I am saying that those who are critical of beauty are foolish. Continue reading Making Peace with your Image
It’s inevitable, whenever I speak to young ladies about beauty, that someone asks me to address the topic of modesty. Personally, I prefer to use the term dignity, since the word “modesty” is often interpreted as stale, legalistic control that only spurs on rebellion in those who love fashion. In a recent discussion on the matter, a young man, who had overheard me talking with a group of girls, told his friend that we were discussing “confidential beauty.”
Immediately, I felt a blog coming on….
Modesty is not old and ugly; it is dignified and commands respect, like confidentiality.
Continue reading 5 Checks for Confidential Beauty
This could be a story about you. Perhaps your losing your hair, have a major skin problem, are cross-eyed or confined to a wheelchair. This could be a story about a friend or family member, who’s Image Issue is not outwardly apparent to most, but is weighing on your heart because you know about her eating disorder, gender confusion, substance abuse, self-loathing.
Image Issues are uncomfortable.
Any identity crisis is personal and often very painful–especially while the crisis is active. Difficult times are easier to talk about when they are in the past. In truth, most battles become glamorous stories once time passes and pain subsides. Isn’t this why women tell labor stories when they are around a pregnant woman?
Painful pasts have powerful potential.
Stories of overcoming difficult times are usually helpful to those potentially facing the same problem, but we need to be sensitive about our timing for those actively in the emotional battle.
Broken beauty is still lovely
As an image consultant, I try to make it a point to recognize when a girl or woman may need to hear how beautiful they are. It’s what I do. A direct compliment can be awkward to receive and hearing “you are beautiful!” can throw any woman off-guard. I recently Continue reading Encouragement in an Identity Crisis
Since the beginning of time, every young child has had an innate longing to find the answer to one very important question. With each new experience, interaction and lesson of life, she collects data and applies it toward her answer. Somewhere around the teen years, she hits info-overwhelm. Like a cluttered desk, all that she has collected has piled up and she begins to wonder where the truth is. In her frustration and desperation for answers, she may frantically shuffle through the piles–moving papers–setting aside some ideas, destroying others. In her quest to find the answer, she may make a mess, but no matter how long it takes her or how painful it gets, she must know: Continue reading What Makes You Valuable?