Tag Archives: confidence conflicts

The Only True Source of Confidence

Life may never be the same after this pandemic, but it sure is good to get back into the salons, even if it’s so much less personal! It’s just easier to cope with all the changes when our nails are finished and our hair is good, isn’t it?

As women, when we feel beautiful, we feel confident.

Achieving beauty is one way we attempt to become confident. Success, wisdom, popularity and strength are other powerful sources for self-esteem. Yet, the moment someone outshines, undermines, devalues or corrects us, we will likely feel defeated, diminished, devalued. 

Is there anything that will truly satisfy our need to feel good about ourselves?

I believe there is one true and lasting source of confidence, and it is Continue reading The Only True Source of Confidence

The Best Solution to Discrimination

Racial discrimination is a serious problem, but prejudice isn’t limited to color or culture. People always “judge a book by its cover,” this is a fact of life. If we are honest, we all make visual assessments and prideful assumptions based on personal experiences and preferences all the time.

  • We choose our communities, caretakers or political parties according to our beliefs, opinions and needs.
  • We use businesses, attend meetings and make friends only if we feel comfortable with those people. 
  • We decide which checkout line we will use according to our assumption of the cashier’s attitude and aptitude.

It is natural and normal to make decisions based on appearances. In fact, you and I decide if we like or trust a person, place or thing within six seconds. Is this wrong? Maybe, but this tendency to make quick judgments can save us time or keep us from danger. 

Sometimes our first impressions are completely off, and we miss out on an opportunity or relationship that we may have enjoyed. Other times our assessments are completely inappropriate and we make harsh judgments based on personal opinions or experiences that have nothing to do with the reality of what–or who–we are criticizing.  Continue reading The Best Solution to Discrimination

The Most Common Question

The Covid-19 stay-at-home-order has put us all in casual dress mode.

I can’t remember the last time I dressed up–even our Easter photo opt. proved to be casual (at least from the waist down!).  My daughter didn’t even have dress shoes since she left college during her spring break, unprepared to come home for the year.

Even though I’m a Dramatic who loves fashion and makeup, my Natural side loves being stuck at home.  I don’t miss my heels at all!

How about you?

I’ve been rather amazed, however, at how much traffic one particular blog is still getting. Since I wrote it in 2012, it has always been my most popular post, but I am surprised that it is even more popular right now during a time when we are all so socially inactive.

Apparently, social distancing does not stop the Beauty Battle within.

Continue reading The Most Common Question

Favor is Deceitful and Beauty is Vain

“Favor is deceitful, beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

As a young church girl, I thought this scripture meant that it was wrong to be beautiful, that I shouldn’t want the favor of anyone, and that I should be afraid of God.

Wow was I off!

Many other times in Proverbs it is said that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. The understanding of fear that I had as a child is not the kind of fear God desires of us. We should fear Him like we fear fire; a better word may be RESPECT.  When we don’t understand God’s heart–or fire–we will run  away from it instead of enjoying it.

When we are afraid of God we may work with all our might for His approval–that was me, I really had to wrestle with the meaning of this verse because I wanted to please God, but beauty was my passion. Continue reading Favor is Deceitful and Beauty is Vain

Favor is Deceitful – 3 Reasons Why

In honor of all the moms who have ever had a child turn on them and say, “I hate you!” I dedicate this blog to you.

God’s Word  is a lot like a fire hydrant: far more powerful than a refreshing drink of water. Perhaps this is what Jesus was alluding to when He told the Samaritan woman that, “those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” in John 4:14

Let’s consider a small section of one verse for example.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Proverbs 31:30

What does the Bible mean by, “charm is deceptive” (or “favor is deceitful”)?

I write a lot about Proverbs 31 Beauty, but now that my life is so involved with the deceitful world of addiction, I feel as though Continue reading Favor is Deceitful – 3 Reasons Why

3 Tips for Handling Stay at Home Stress

When I’m stressed,  I shut down and shut up.

The term tongue-tied may mean one thing to you, but to me, it is a perfect metaphor for how I feel when I am hurting. Even when I want to talk, the words are held captive. It doesn’t matter how quiet I am, however, my body language still  speaks loudly. Usually what it’s saying is,

“Leave me alone!”

And then I feel hurt when people avoid me–especially my husband, of course. I want others to read my mind not my face. I want them to ask and then wait (a really long time if necessary). Then I want them to judge my heart and not my confusing words. And I want them to be on my side, even if they have a completely opposing opinion.

I want, I want, I want.

When we are stressed, we are selfish.

Continue reading 3 Tips for Handling Stay at Home Stress

3 Tips for Doing Hair at Home (or Not)

Just before the Covid19 social distancing order, I had gone on a self-care kick. It seemed that the stressful situations my family was facing were over and a spa day would help relieve the tension I was still carrying. Who would have thought that this stay at home order would last more than two weeks? I am so glad now that I took that time to do my hair and “fill my cup” before this forever-quarantine. 

When I feel ugly, I struggle with depression. I know I’m not the only one.

Casual clothing isn’t a problem for most of us; we like staying at home in our sweats. A bad-hair day, on the other hand, can make many women struggle with confidence and cheerfulness.  Continue reading 3 Tips for Doing Hair at Home (or Not)

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3 Reasons Beauty is Dangerous

Most women don’t have Confident Beauty because they compare themselves to other styles, but if you have ever been mistreated because of your appearance, you know that Image Issues are more complicated than that, because BEAUTY IS DANGEROUS.

Beauty is dangerous when it defeats us.

Maybe you HATE how you look because you compare your beauty to the models in the media and you feel you don’t measure up. Maybe men have been mean to you or taken advantage of your body. Perhaps it’s women who have mistreated you and tried to demean your beauty so that they feel better about themselves.  Continue reading 3 Reasons Beauty is Dangerous

The Secret to Being Confident 

I suppose there will always be times in life when our confidence is under attack (especially when is your main ministry topic), but I feel like I’m “under gun” in every direction right now.

With the challenges that lie before me, I have become aware of one common denominator that seems to be the secret to overcoming all sorts of Confidence Conflicts: Continue reading The Secret to Being Confident 

Finding Hope in Difficult Times

As a woman who has faced many storms in life, I am often asked, “If God is so good, why doesn’t He keep you from these difficult circumstances?” My answer is, “He is so good that He keeps me through them.”

Storms happen

Storm:  a disturbed state of environment, marked by significant disruptions to normal conditions. A center of low pressure w/ system of high pressure surrounding it. Opposing forces create stormy weather.

Why should any of us think that life is not fair because there is a significant disruption in our environment? In my experience, the more turbulent a storm, the deeper my faith has grown. 

There is a certain sweetness that builds when we face difficulties without casting blame or comparing circumstances.

Continue reading Finding Hope in Difficult Times

Finding Balance When Life Changes

There is a balance between self-care and selfishness. Finding this balance will likely always be a challenge for most of us. I’m fifty-two years old, yet I, too, often feel the guilt of taking time for myself, especially now that I have slipped back into a self-sacrificing mommy mode. 

The “mommy-mode” of always putting others first is actually a beautiful thing when our heart is right.

To be “others-conscious” and put our family’s needs above our own is sweet and honorable. 

As long as our heart is.

Since my last post, I have been swept up in a tornado of drama and difficulties that tend to consume those of us who love an addict. The chaos and confusion isn’t new to me, but over the past years of my son’s addiction, I’ve found a way to continue with most aspects of my own life, no matter how out of control his was. This time, however, Continue reading Finding Balance When Life Changes

Three Tips for Helping Children with Stress

When I was a little girl, if I was stressed, I hid. 

I remember the day my  mom and aunt were making me dresses for kindergarten. All the changing and posing so they could measure and pin had me overwhelmed. I didn’t complain though; I was a “good little girl.” Instead, the first chance I got, I curled up with a blanket in the back of my closet.

I’m not sure how long I slept, but I woke up to crazy commotion–my parents had the police searching a nearby pond. 

I don’t mind wardrobe changes anymore, but I do  still hide. Or at least I try. When I am overwhelmed I shut down and shut up. Even when I want to talk, I can’t find the words. It doesn’t matter how quiet I am, however, my body language still  speaks loudly. Usually what it’s saying is,

“Leave me alone!” 

And then I feel offended when people avoid me.

Emotions are complicated

Continue reading Three Tips for Helping Children with Stress