There is a balance between self-care and selfishness. Finding this balance will likely always be a challenge for most of us. I’m fifty-two years old, yet I, too, often feel the guilt of taking time for myself, especially now that I have slipped back into a self-sacrificing mommy mode.
The “mommy-mode” of always putting others first is actually a beautiful thing when our heart is right.
To be “others-conscious” and put our family’s needs above our own is sweet and honorable.
As long as our heart is.
Since my last post, I have been swept up in a tornado of drama and difficulties that tend to consume those of us who love an addict. The chaos and confusion isn’t new to me, but over the past years of my son’s addiction, I’ve found a way to continue with most aspects of my own life, no matter how out of control his was. This time, however, Continue reading Finding Balance When Life Changes
When I was a little girl, if I was stressed, I hid.
I remember the day my mom and aunt were making me dresses for kindergarten. All the changing and posing so they could measure and pin had me overwhelmed. I didn’t complain though; I was a “good little girl.” Instead, the first chance I got, I curled up with a blanket in the back of my closet.
I’m not sure how long I slept, but I woke up to crazy commotion–my parents had the police searching a nearby pond.
I don’t mind wardrobe changes anymore, but I do still hide. Or at least I try. When I am overwhelmed I shut down and shut up. Even when I want to talk, I can’t find the words. It doesn’t matter how quiet I am, however, my body language still speaks loudly. Usually what it’s saying is,
“Leave me alone!”
And then I feel offended when people avoid me.
Emotions are complicated
Continue reading Three Tips for Helping Children with Stress
Some children are very calm, cool and collected.
Every two-year-old has their tantrums, but some kids are less concerned about getting their way. Casual children are laidback and tend to go with the flow. It may seem, at times, that they simply don’t care but in reality, the Natural Clothing Personality has a gift for seeing the bigger picture. If your child has an optimistic outlook on life even when things don’t go their way, he or she may be a Casual Kid.
Most Naturals are broad boned and tall in height unless they have a combined Image Identity (Img.ID). Weight is sometimes an issue for this Img.ID because of their structure, but most Naturals are active in sports and nature and usually able to keep their weight under control.
Casual kids are faithful, low-maintenance friends. Their simplistic outlook and optimistic nature are encouraging and easy to be around. Their laid-back style, however, can be hard for parents to motivate. As we raise our children, Continue reading Do You Have a Laid-back, Casual Kid?
Some children are very sensitive about what others feel.
Kids don’t always notice what is going on around them.They are usually too busy playing or dreaming to recognize what someone else may be thinking. Some children, however, are hyper-sensitive to the body language and voice fluctuations of those around them.
Typically, the Glamorous Clothing Personality is very compassionate. Many kids are sweet and caring, but if your child has a passion for making others comfortable, she or he may be a Romantic Image Identity.
Many Romantics are actually Ingénues as children. The two styles are very much alike except for their figure frames. The Romantic has more curves, and the Ingénue has a straighter, less “fluffy” figure.
Weight can be an issue for any style, but the Romantic children tend to struggle with the consequences of this the most (the girls especially, since they tend to gain a full bosom before they are emotionally ready to have an adult figure). Continue reading Is your Child Charming and Compassionate?
Children are generally sweet.
Kids aren’t hostile or defensive; they don’t guard their heart until they have been hurt. Instead, they trust people and they believe what is said to them. Some children, however, have a part of their personality that remains naive much longer than others.
Typically, the Delicate Clothing Personality is very trusting. Many kids trust adults, but if your child has a way of giving everyone else the benefit of the doubt, she or he may be a Ingenue Image Identity.
Youthful kids blame themselves.
Ingénues are imaginative kids who believe in others and doubt themselves. They are very compassionate and usually have a sweet, high voice and gentle nature. They are very creative and make great friends because they want the best for everyone else. If they feel someone else is mistreated, they want to fix it–at their own expense. If they are mistreated, they tend to believe it is their own fault. As we study our children, we would be wise to look deeper than their words or actions. Let’s look at their heart. Continue reading Kids with Petite Figures May Be this Style
Children are like sponges
Kids soak up anything they can lean because knowledge is an innate human desire. For some, however, learning is more than a desire.
Typically, the Classic Clothing Personality is very intellectual and passionate about education. Many kids love their teachers and want to pursue a teaching career, but if your child talks about one day being the teacher of teachers–or administrator, he or she may have a Classic Image Identity.
Classics are analytical kids, who likes things organized.
“Look mommy, a pattern!”
My daughter is a Dramatic. When she was a little girl she got so excited about patterns! Tori loved to work things together and make them look pretty. Your daughter may love patterns too, but her motive may be to make things organized. As we study our children, we would be wise to look deeper than their words or actions. Let’s look at their heart. Continue reading Confident Classic Kids
With the first hospital visit, adults begin “speaking life” over your baby:
He’s so big!
As children grow, we naturally announce and affirm each progression of their development:
Look how he holds his head up.
She took her first step!
A healthy self-esteem is encouraged.
Every child comes into this world with the need to know their worth and understand their purpose. Naturally, they find their answers (right or wrong) from their environment and the things we teach them.
If you have a healthy self-image then you will be better equipped to help your children avoid Image Issues.
But not necessarily. Continue reading Raising Confident Kids
Some women are strong, spunky and secure in their opinions. The Gamine clothing personality is average to short in stature, but she is not fragile: not in build, and not in personality.
She is like a Cala Lily: strong, sturdy and full of color and variety. The trumpet-shaped flower can endure almost any condition, in the same way, Gamines thrive in situations where most of us would not know what to do. When they see crisis, they jump to action—like the flower that pokes through the ground before the rest of the plant.
Grace makes or breaks the Gamine’s beauty
The Bold Beauty has an intense work ethic, which sometimes overrides her intense love for fun. She has a quick wit, level head and a passion to fix things. Unfortunately, sometimes her drive for justice can be intimidating to others–and to herself. Continue reading Gamine – the Bold Beauty
Some women are simply laid back and casual; calm, cool and collected in nature. Those with the Natural clothing personality are athletic and nature-oriented and tend to be comfortable with themselves.
She is like a wild flower, strong, sturdy and able to endure most environments; she has little need of care and attention. The Natural’s bright cheer brings life to any occasion, making a formal affair less stuffy and a casual event more inviting. She should be careful, however, to stay true to her casual nature, no matter the formality of her environment or she may come across as phony.
Simplicity makes or breaks the Natural’s beauty
The Natural has little interest in fashion or Continue reading Natural – the Casual Beauty
Often misunderstood to be overly confident, the Dramatic is actually a very sensitive woman.
The Dramatic clothing personality (which I call the Exotic Beauty) is like a tropical flower. Her unusual beauty has a powerful presence that stands out and makes a statement. Unless she has a secondary style, this girl is tall and has strong, straight features. She is passionate and expressive and has a strong drive for excellence.
All too often, girls with this Image Identity (Img.ID) are completely unaware of the influence they have on others.
Intimidation may look like rejection
Continue reading Dramatic Video
Some women are fast-paced, hardworking and unafraid to take risks. Those who are Dramatic in style have a daring nature that is seemingly uninhibited by the influences around her. Her long, straight features and extreme height are indication of her character. The Dramatic woman (or man, or child…) is focused and passionate about all she does.
She is like an exotic flower, her unusual beauty has a powerful presence that stands out and makes a statement. All too often, however, this girl is completely unaware of the influence she has on others. In reality, this Image Identity (Img.ID) really has a very sensitive spirit and when others feel intimidated by her, she often reads it as rejection.
Relatability makes or breaks the Dramatic’s beauty
Continue reading Dramatic – the Exotic Beauty
Some women are dignified, sophisticated and professional in all their ways. Those who are Classic in style are graceful and conservative and a pleasure to look. A balanced figure and proportionate features give evidence to her character. The Classic woman (or man or child…) tends to be very proper and detailed in all areas of life.
Like a rose, the Refined Beauty has a guard about her, making it rather difficult to get to know her at first. In her younger years, she is tight and withdrawn and a bit protective of her heart. When upset, her words may be sharp, but in general, she doesn’t speak up unless spoken to.
Peace makes or breaks the Classic’s beauty
Continue reading Classic – the Refined Beauty