Tag Archives: confidence

Is Woman Inferior to Man?

Your world view is greatly determined by the way you answer this important question.

  • Men and women are equal.

This world view may show itself in a lot of striving to prove our equality. When favoritism is shown or life seems unfair, it is only natural to fight for our rights. Any weaker party should be given to and any stronger party should be taken from in order to level the playing field. 

Do differences (in gender, strength, appearance, gifts, talents, success…) make life unfair?

  • Women are inferior.

This world view is often confused. When men see women as less than, or when women see themselves as less-than, it is only natural for the genders to conflict. A man trying to prove himself may mistreat the women he wants to overpower. A woman feeling down on herself may accept abuse that she does not deserve. Continue reading Is Woman Inferior to Man?

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3 Reasons Why Image is Such an Issue for Women

According to David Garner’s survey on Body Image in America as reported in Phychlology Today:

  • 56% of all women say they are dissatisfied with their overall appearance.
  • 84% of women report dieting
  • 14 % of women have been diagnosed with eating disorders- the majority  being underweight.
  • 1.5% of women say they vomit for weight control, yet do not feel they have an eating disorder. 3%  use laxatives for weight loss and feel that is not a concern.
  • 67% of women report that being around thin women makes them feel insecure.  45% say that models make them feel angry or resentful.

There are many reasons why beauty has such a stronghold on our hearts:

1. Beauty is an important part of the feminine heart.

The desire for beauty is not shallow or selfish; it is our reflection of the One who created us. Just as man was designed to glorify God with his strength, so was woman designed to draw others to Him with her beauty.

Unfortunately, our desire to be lovely can get the best of us if we focus on it too much. I suppose anything we give too much attention to can mess up our lives, but let’s think this through.

The desire to be strong or  successful, is encouraged by society.

The desire for beauty, on the other hand, is not as socially acceptable.

Wether we pursue strength or beauty, we may be confronted with jealousy from time to time, but seldom will we be put to shame for such desires as to do well or be strong.

2. Beauty has different social standards.

Continue reading 3 Reasons Why Image is Such an Issue for Women

Helping Kids Find Confidence

I was only in third grade when my ministry to girls with Image Issues began. I remember coming home from school broken-hearted because one of my friends was being picked on for her weight.

So what if some kids are heavy? I was skin and bones, is that wrong, too? Why are kids so mean? I don’t get it. I was baffled as a eight year old and I’m still baffled today. No two people look exactly alike, so what kind of logic says that differences are defects or deficiencies? And why should anyone be ashamed of how they look?

Variety is beautiful

illustration of kids of various styles
a sneak peek at Know Who You Are-for Kids!

I seldom get judged for being skinny, but It was that same year that the kids teased me because of how I dressed. I used to wear little bobby sox and apparently they weren’t “in style” (because children know these things!). I was the brunt of cruel jokes day after day until I finally told my mom. I was hoping she would take me shopping for long sox so that I could fit in.

I was wrong. Continue reading Helping Kids Find Confidence

One Woman’s Journey to Find her True Image Identity

Most women HATE, HIDE or get HUNG UP on their image at one point in their lives. For many, this is during the teenage years, but for some it’s at a very young age, for others it comes later in life.

When we are hurting and our self image is down, we may lash out at others, blame them, or become consumed by their needs while neglecting our own. Whether you punish yourself,  shut down your heart, or try to numb the pain is a big indicator of what your personal Image Identity (Img.ID) is.

Click here to take my FREE IMAGE ASSESSMENT QUIZ

Continue reading One Woman’s Journey to Find her True Image Identity

5 Steps for Changing Habits 

Which body part do you wash first when showering?

If you cannot answer to my silly question, don’t worry. I’m sure that the next time you start lathering up, you will notice that you have a very defined routine that is so deeply ingrained into a rhythm that you don’t even give showering a thought.

Routines rock!

Creating a system for every day habits may seem silly, but the busier your life is, the more  important mindless habits are, because they remove the stress of making one more decision. When you’re overwhelmed without deeply rooted routines, it is easy to loose keys, forget appointments and miss meals.

Stress makes a mind scattered, and a scattered mind increases stress.

You were designed for routine.

Our bodies craves rhythm as much as the tides do–all of God’s creation was made with seasons and cycles. Imagine if the sun and moon had the free-will to resist His plan like we do; all of nature would be as stressed out as we are!

For many years I fought routine. I didn’t want anyone telling me what to do–not even my own schedule! Now that I am old (yea, I just had a birthday. I’m feeling it.), I see the foolishness of my younger, scattered ways. Somehow I thought that creating habits was boring and I did’t want to be “stuck in a rut” so I lived “by the seat of my pants.” I was fooled to think that I had better control if I resisted rules and routines. Unfortunately, my unstructured life got the best of me and wore out my adrenal glands.

It’s good to be flexible, but when you constantly change your ways, you create chaos.

I’m living a bit of a scattered life again as I have faced a few major life changes at once. I am working after-hours to finish up a rental home my husband and I are building, my children are in big  transitions and my dad is very sick. My purpose, plan, schedule, diet, location and even transportation are all fluctuating and I have completely lost my rhythm. I no longer love the adrenaline rush of spontaneity; instead, I crave the confidence that comes with having habits.

Routines change

If you, too, are feeling the stress of a scattered life, I encourage you to join me in reforming your routines. Some habits, like showering, remain as consistent as the setting sun. Thank God, we don’t have to think about what to do. We just do it and forget it.

Some habits–like eating–need to be protected for survival.

But even the sun’s routine changes with the seasons. We are wise not to resist life’s changes, but to, instead, make any needed adjustments while remaining as consistent as possible.

Here are 5 steps we can implement to create habits that remove stress:

  1. De-clutter. (It is much easier to live in my rental home, where there are only basic needs.)
  2. Go shopping. (I now have duplicate personal care products so that I don’t have to think about packing them anymore.)
  3. Create new space (I am finally establishing a new place to write.)
  4. Take charge of your schedule (unfortunately, my time to blog has taken a lower priority during this season.)
  5. Breathe (When I miss blogging for you, I remember that I only have so much time with my loved ones and once this house is done, it will always be done.)

Seasons change, but they also change again, and if we are women of confidence, we need olive in the moment. If this moment is hard, then we stay strong and keep going. It’s our habits that keep us  fed, rested and strong. What needs are there in your life that need to become habits so that you no longer have to think about them?

btw, I always wash my right arm first.

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What is your Personal Presence?

Many factors have made me hyper-sensitive to family dynamics recently: My pastor has been preaching a series on relationships, I am preparing for a mother / daughter event, I am finishing up a child’s book about the six styles of children, and most significantly, cancer has invaded my strong, influential father and I am getting a lot of extra time with my extended family as we all join efforts in helping my parents through the fight of a life-time.

How wonderful and pleasant it is

    when brothers live together in harmony! ~Psalm 133:1

All these factors are teaching me three valuable lessons: Continue reading What is your Personal Presence?

2 Wise Ways to Shop on a Budget

There are two well-known nuggets of wisdom that will help anyone stay on a budget when grocery shopping. They are also brilliant policies for anyone shopping for clothing:

1. Don’t shop hungry

An empty belly makes the mind less focused. It is human nature to kick into survival mode when in any physical need. If you are feeling weak and desperate, any food placed before you is appealing–no matter what the menu plan was for the week. The same is true for clothing shopping. If you go shopping when you feel unattractive and underprivileged, any new outfit may be appealing, no matter what you actually need.

Wether you like to shop or not is a big indicator of your Img.ID:

C: I shop very seldom
N: I shop very practically
D: I love to shop
I: I like new things but mostly shop for others
R: I love to shop for shoes (even if I don’t always wear them)
G: I am a very smart shopper 

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear, click here to take the Img.ID quiz.

Continue reading 2 Wise Ways to Shop on a Budget

The Secret to Simplifying your Closet

Spring is such an exciting time of year, isn’t it? As the trees begin to bloom and new buds break through the gardens, they call us out of our homes and into the yards to prepare for the season to come. Fun in the sun is just around the corner, but for now there is a lot of work to be done.

WEEDING

The long winter brought down to the ground what once was colorful foliage. The dead, dry leaves must now be raked and removed to make way for that which is to come. This cycle is simply a fact of life. If we want beautiful gardens, we must clean them out or else, no matter how lovely the new flowers, their beauty will be hindered by all the old clutter around them.

Your closet is the same way. Yes, it’s time to pull out the bright colors and light fabrics again. It may even be time to do some serious shopping, but first, let’s make room for that which is to come. Continue reading The Secret to Simplifying your Closet

Validation, Everyone Needs It

When is the last time someone said something encouraging to you as a person?

You are very good at that.

You are so strong!

You are beautiful.

I hope it was this morning that someone validated you as a person, but I know that in reality it may have been a long time since you have heard a positive statement about your looks, strengths or qualities. For some reason, most of us hold back from “speaking life” over each other.

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!-Deuteronomy 30:19 

I was just making a bitmoji with my daughter. We were cracking up Continue reading Validation, Everyone Needs It

Confident for Our Children

As Easter approaches, let’s consider how Mary’s mamma-heart must have felt during Jesus’ persecution and death.

As moms, we believe in our kids. Sure, we see their faults and we get frustrated when they don’t follow our wishes, but we see beyond the present day; we see their potential future. If anyone should point out their imperfections, we defend them because we know that, one day, each of them will be great!

I imagine that this must have been especially true for Mary. Granted, her son was perfect–but she was not. Surely she got anxious about the expectations she had for Him. After all, she was told (directly by an angel!) profound promises about His future yet she had to wait thirty years before He began His ministry. Continue reading Confident for Our Children

Finding Strength in the Confidence Conflicts

Not all Confidence Conflicts are Beauty Battles. Attacks on our identity come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Most of these conflicts are mountains–whether we made them out of molehills or not.

Nineteen years ago today, my husband and I faced one of our biggest mountains: the loss of our daughter.

Grief is a very real and very difficult Confidence Conflict, which leaves you feeling small and overwhelmed. Emotions are raw, vision is blurred and the path to peace is hard to find. There were many times during our journey when we lost our way, broke down, gave up or separated from each other emotionally. We did, however, make a decision to reunite and help each other over the mountain of grief. Eventually we found our way through the woods, but I don’t believe we would have made it to higher ground if we hadn’t called out to God for help. Continue reading Finding Strength in the Confidence Conflicts

What to Wear for the Exotic Beauty

The Dramatic woman is just that: passionately expressive. Conversations with her are very deep and theatrically infused with emotional word-pictures. She’s a rather private person, but somehow doesn’t mind the spot light. In fact, many Dramatics take up their profession in the fine arts and are often found in the theaters or on television. These girls (and guys) put their whole heart into their performance and their long, lean physique is easy on the camera.

For the same reasons, many Dramatics are Continue reading What to Wear for the Exotic Beauty