Many factors have made me hyper-sensitive to family dynamics recently: My pastor has been preaching a series on relationships, I am preparing for a mother / daughter event, I am finishing up a child’s book about the six styles of children, and most significantly, cancer has invaded my strong, influential father and I am getting a lot of extra time with my extended family as we all join efforts in helping my parents through the fight of a life-time.
How wonderful and pleasant it is
when brothers live together in harmony! ~Psalm 133:1
There are two well-known nuggets of wisdom that will help anyone stay on a budget when grocery shopping. They are also brilliant policies for anyone shopping for clothing:
1. Don’t shop hungry
An empty belly makes the mind less focused. It is human nature to kick into survival mode when in any physical need. If you are feeling weak and desperate, any food placed before you is appealing–no matter what the menu plan was for the week. The same is true for clothing shopping. If you go shopping when you feel unattractive and underprivileged, any new outfit may be appealing, no matter what you actually need.
Wether you like to shop or not is a big indicator of your Img.ID:
C: I shop very seldom
N: I shop very practically
D: I love to shop
I: I like new things but mostly shop for others
R: I love to shop for shoes (even if I don’t always wear them)
G: I am a very smart shopper
Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear, click here to take the Img.ID quiz.
Spring is such an exciting time of year, isn’t it? As the trees begin to bloom and new buds break through the gardens, they call us out of our homes and into the yards to prepare for the season to come. Fun in the sun is just around the corner, but for now there is a lot of work to be done.
The long winter brought down to the ground what once was colorful foliage. The dead, dry leaves must now be raked and removed to make way for that which is to come. This cycle is simply a fact of life. If we want beautiful gardens, we must clean them out or else, no matter how lovely the new flowers, their beauty will be hindered by all the old clutter around them.
When is the last time someone said something encouraging to you as a person?
You are very good at that.
You are so strong!
You are beautiful.
I hope it was this morning that someone validated you as a person, but I know that in reality it may have been a long time since you have heard a positive statement about your looks, strengths or qualities. For some reason, most of us hold back from “speaking life” over each other.
“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!-Deuteronomy 30:19
As Easter approaches, let’s consider how Mary’s mamma-heart must have felt during Jesus’ persecution and death.
As moms, we believe in our kids. Sure, we see their faults and we get frustrated when they don’t follow our wishes, but we see beyond the present day; we see their potential future. If anyone should point out their imperfections, we defend them because we know that, one day, each of them will be great!
I imagine that this must have been especially true for Mary. Granted, her son was perfect–but she was not. Surely she got anxious about the expectations she had for Him. After all, she was told (directly by an angel!) profound promises about His future yet she had to wait thirty years before He began His ministry. Continue reading Confident for Our Children→
Not all Confidence Conflicts are Beauty Battles. Attacks on our identity come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Most of these conflicts are mountains–whether we made them out of molehills or not.
Nineteen years ago today, my husband and I faced one of our biggest mountains: the loss of our daughter.
Grief is a very real and very difficult Confidence Conflict, which leaves you feeling small and overwhelmed. Emotions are raw, vision is blurred and the path to peace is hard to find. There were many times during our journey when we lost our way, broke down, gave up or separated from each other emotionally. We did, however, make a decision to reunite and help each other over the mountain of grief. Eventually we found our way through the woods, but I don’t believe we would have made it to higher ground if we hadn’t called out to God for help. Continue reading Finding Strength in the Confidence Conflicts→
The Dramatic woman is just that: passionately expressive. Conversations with her are very deep and theatrically infused with emotional word-pictures. She’s a rather private person, but somehow doesn’t mind the spot light. In fact, many Dramatics take up their profession in the fine arts and are often found in the theaters or on television. These girls (and guys) put their whole heart into their performance and their long, lean physique is easy on the camera.
The Gamine Beauty is a strong, witty, hardworking, witty woman who is driven by justice. She has an eye for detail and a passion for purpose. No grass grows under her feet. If there is work to be done, the Gamine girl will get it done. Or she will tell someone to do it. If there’s fun to be had, you can’t hold her back there, either. “ALL IN” that’s the Gamine mantra.
There’s something very attractive about the innocence of a child. Just being around a joyful little girl enjoying her playtime can lift the dreariest of attitudes and encouraged the depressed. That’s what it’s like to be around a Confident Ingénue.
ingénue | ˌanjəˈno͞o, ˈänjəˌno͞o |
an innocent or unsophisticated young woman, especially in a play or film.
The start of a new year is a great time to reflect and reset. As you reflect on 2017, do you recognize the changes in your life? Surely there were some good and some bad experiences. Perhaps your character was strengthened; maybe your hope was defeated. Was your patience tested, your confidence challenged? How did these thing affect your how you feel about yourself? Experiences are a big influence in our identity, but they do not need to define us. Perhaps this is why I love new beginnings so much. There have been many times in my life when I have allowed experiences in my life to become who I was.
After experiencing a divorce, I took the identity of “throw away wife” and was not able to build another healthy relationship until I was able to find the truth about who I was.
Some experiences require an identity check in order to move on. It is not wise to risk your heart for a future relationship (or job, location, etc) when it is still wounded from a past one. We have a choice in how experiences affect us. They can defeat us and deter us from growth, or they can become our personal exercise program as we work through the difficulty and become stronger for it. Continue reading 3 Questions to Reset your New Year→
How many Christmas pageants, plays or recitals did you go to this year? Children add so much life to this season, don’t they? It doesn’t matter if their costumes are professional or pathetic, when a child is on a stage being recognized, it is beautiful.
Or at least entertaining.
A few children who play their part with a calm, strong confidence can make a silly program truly impressive, but the children who are timid, shy and awkward–or the ones who are boisterous and showing off–are still adorable.
When children have the guts to get up on a stage, we have grace for their fears, and when they get up there and enjoy themselves, we give them the right to be proud of what they were doing. The older we get, however, the less leeway we have between timidity and arrogance. Continue reading Confident About the Beauty of Christmas→
A little girl had dream to become a gardener. She loved the many shapes, sizes and textures of flowers and wanted to grow them herself. It can’t be that difficult, she thought. “I will keep them in rich soil, make sure they get lots of sun and water them every day.”
It didn’t take long before she realized she couldn’t treat all flowers the same, so she began to educate herself on the many types of flowers and their various needs. Quickly she became overwhelmed, “There are too much to learn, this is complicated. I can’t remember all their names and what to do. I will just pick my favorites and focus on them.”
Are you overwhelmed?
This blog is dedicated to all the girls and women who want to learn about clothing personalities, but just can’t get their mind around it.
“Forget it! Who cares which style I am? I will dress however I want to dress!”
If you have said this, but were then unsure how you want to dress because when you put on clothes you chose, you feel uncomfortable, awkward and phony. My advice:
Figure out your style, make that your favorite and focus on that.
“Picking a favorite” is really not hard for most women, because most women are only one clothing personality, but for those of us who have a combination Img.ID, discovering which style you really like can be complicated. My advice to you?
First figure out if you are one style or two.
You know you are a combination Img.ID if:
1.You have the physical attributes of two clothing personalities. Do you have the facial features of a Natural, but are not tall? Or are you very tall, but have a turned up nose like a Gamine? You are more than likely a combination Img.ID
3.You have the physical appearance of one style and a strong agreement with the preferences of different style. Do you have the physical attributes of one clothing personality, but your only desire is to look or act like another style? You may very well have been raised by a strong woman who you feel you must emulate. You have two options: be set free from your oppression and BE who you were designed to be, or find a way to blend the two styles so that your appearance reflects your authentic heart.
As an author and speaker, my passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, I love to use my profession, along with my experiences and training as a Biblical life-coach to help others who are struggling. I’d love to connect with you on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads Click the butterfly image or visit http://catrinawelch.com to learn more about my Supreme MakeOver Image Assessment events.