Most women don’t have Confident Beauty because they compare themselves to other styles, but if you have ever been mistreated because of your appearance, you know that Image Issues are more complicated than that, because BEAUTY IS DANGEROUS.
Beauty is dangerous when it defeats us.
Maybe you HATE how you look because you compare your beauty to the models in the media and you feel you don’t measure up. Maybe men have been mean to you or taken advantage of your body. Perhaps it’s women who have mistreated you and tried to demean your beauty so that they feel better about themselves. Continue reading 3 Reasons Beauty is Dangerous
I suppose there will always be times in life when our confidence is under attack (especially when is your main ministry topic), but I feel like I’m “under gun” in every direction right now.
With the challenges that lie before me, I have become aware of one common denominator that seems to be the secret to overcoming all sorts of Confidence Conflicts: Continue reading The Secret to Being Confident
As a woman who has faced many storms in life, I am often asked, “If God is so good, why doesn’t He keep you from these difficult circumstances?” My answer is, “He is so good that He keeps me through them.”
Storm: a disturbed state of environment, marked by significant disruptions to normal conditions. A center of low pressure w/ system of high pressure surrounding it. Opposing forces create stormy weather.
Why should any of us think that life is not fair because there is a significant disruption in our environment? In my experience, the more turbulent a storm, the deeper my faith has grown.
There is a certain sweetness that builds when we face difficulties without casting blame or comparing circumstances.
Continue reading Finding Hope in Difficult Times
There is a balance between self-care and selfishness. Finding this balance will likely always be a challenge for most of us. I’m fifty-two years old, yet I, too, often feel the guilt of taking time for myself, especially now that I have slipped back into a self-sacrificing mommy mode.
The “mommy-mode” of always putting others first is actually a beautiful thing when our heart is right.
To be “others-conscious” and put our family’s needs above our own is sweet and honorable.
As long as our heart is.
Since my last post, I have been swept up in a tornado of drama and difficulties that tend to consume those of us who love an addict. The chaos and confusion isn’t new to me, but over the past years of my son’s addiction, I’ve found a way to continue with most aspects of my own life, no matter how out of control his was. This time, however, Continue reading Finding Balance When Life Changes
When I was a little girl, if I was stressed, I hid.
I remember the day my mom and aunt were making me dresses for kindergarten. All the changing and posing so they could measure and pin had me overwhelmed. I didn’t complain though; I was a “good little girl.” Instead, the first chance I got, I curled up with a blanket in the back of my closet.
I’m not sure how long I slept, but I woke up to crazy commotion–my parents had the police searching a nearby pond.
I don’t mind wardrobe changes anymore, but I do still hide. Or at least I try. When I am overwhelmed I shut down and shut up. Even when I want to talk, I can’t find the words. It doesn’t matter how quiet I am, however, my body language still speaks loudly. Usually what it’s saying is,
“Leave me alone!”
And then I feel offended when people avoid me.
Emotions are complicated
Continue reading Three Tips for Helping Children with Stress
Some children are very calm, cool and collected.
Every two-year-old has their tantrums, but some kids are less concerned about getting their way. Casual children are laidback and tend to go with the flow. It may seem, at times, that they simply don’t care but in reality, the Natural Clothing Personality has a gift for seeing the bigger picture. If your child has an optimistic outlook on life even when things don’t go their way, he or she may be a Casual Kid.
Most Naturals are broad boned and tall in height unless they have a combined Image Identity (Img.ID). Weight is sometimes an issue for this Img.ID because of their structure, but most Naturals are active in sports and nature and usually able to keep their weight under control.
Casual kids are faithful, low-maintenance friends. Their simplistic outlook and optimistic nature are encouraging and easy to be around. Their laid-back style, however, can be hard for parents to motivate. As we raise our children, Continue reading Do You Have a Laid-back, Casual Kid?
Some children are very sensitive about what others feel.
Kids don’t always notice what is going on around them.They are usually too busy playing or dreaming to recognize what someone else may be thinking. Some children, however, are hyper-sensitive to the body language and voice fluctuations of those around them.
Typically, the Glamorous Clothing Personality is very compassionate. Many kids are sweet and caring, but if your child has a passion for making others comfortable, she or he may be a Romantic Image Identity.
Many Romantics are actually Ingénues as children. The two styles are very much alike except for their figure frames. The Romantic has more curves, and the Ingénue has a straighter, less “fluffy” figure.
Weight can be an issue for any style, but the Romantic children tend to struggle with the consequences of this the most (the girls especially, since they tend to gain a full bosom before they are emotionally ready to have an adult figure). Continue reading Is your Child Charming and Compassionate?
Children are generally sweet.
Kids aren’t hostile or defensive; they don’t guard their heart until they have been hurt. Instead, they trust people and they believe what is said to them. Some children, however, have a part of their personality that remains naive much longer than others.
Typically, the Delicate Clothing Personality is very trusting. Many kids trust adults, but if your child has a way of giving everyone else the benefit of the doubt, she or he may be a Ingenue Image Identity.
Youthful kids blame themselves.
Ingénues are imaginative kids who believe in others and doubt themselves. They are very compassionate and usually have a sweet, high voice and gentle nature. They are very creative and make great friends because they want the best for everyone else. If they feel someone else is mistreated, they want to fix it–at their own expense. If they are mistreated, they tend to believe it is their own fault. As we study our children, we would be wise to look deeper than their words or actions. Let’s look at their heart. Continue reading Kids with Petite Figures May Be this Style
Children are generally bold
Kids aren’t shy about what they are thinking, they “don’t have a filter” until they experience a few embarrassing moments that make them hold back. Some children, however, don’t every grow cautious about speaking up because being bold is part of who they are.
Typically, the Bold Clothing Personality (Gamine: girl or Gamin: boy) is very strong with words. Many kids speak out bluntly, but if your child has a passion for correcting injustice or leading others, she or he may be a Gamine/ Gamin Image Identity.
Bold kids don’t hold back from speaking up.
Gamines / Gamins are fun kids who love to lead and laugh. They are great at telling stories, directing others and commanding attention. If they feel something is unfair, they will speak up to see that justice is served. If you are the one (in their eyes) at fault, you may have a fight on your hands, but if they feel life is fair, these kids are a blast to be around. They are enthusiastic and very helpful. As we study our children, we would be wise to Continue reading Does Your Child Say It Like It Is?
Children are like sponges
Kids soak up anything they can lean because knowledge is an innate human desire. For some, however, learning is more than a desire.
Typically, the Classic Clothing Personality is very intellectual and passionate about education. Many kids love their teachers and want to pursue a teaching career, but if your child talks about one day being the teacher of teachers–or administrator, he or she may have a Classic Image Identity.
Classics are analytical kids, who likes things organized.
“Look mommy, a pattern!”
My daughter is a Dramatic. When she was a little girl she got so excited about patterns! Tori loved to work things together and make them look pretty. Your daughter may love patterns too, but her motive may be to make things organized. As we study our children, we would be wise to look deeper than their words or actions. Let’s look at their heart. Continue reading Confident Classic Kids
With the first hospital visit, adults begin “speaking life” over your baby:
He’s so big!
As children grow, we naturally announce and affirm each progression of their development:
Look how he holds his head up.
She took her first step!
A healthy self-esteem is encouraged.
Every child comes into this world with the need to know their worth and understand their purpose. Naturally, they find their answers (right or wrong) from their environment and the things we teach them.
If you have a healthy self-image then you will be better equipped to help your children avoid Image Issues.
But not necessarily. Continue reading Raising Confident Kids
With my last child leaving the nest and a granddaughter on the way, I am often told that it is more fun to be a grandmother than a mom.
Mothers typically find their identity in their relationships–especially with their children.
I’ve gained three important insights on motherhood:
- Moms have tremendous influence on the life of a child. Our kids lives are swayed by our faith, opinions, perspectives and words. A child whose mom believes in her is more than a conqueror. A child whose mom condemns her will struggle with self-esteem.
- Moms have little power over the way they interpret that influence. Children will interpret your heart according to theirs. We say, “Clean your room, honey.” They may hear, “You’re such a slob!” or “I need to do better to be loved.” It is vital that we understand our strengths and weaknesses and study them as individuals so that we can train them in the way they should go.
- It is very important that we know who we are and take our role seriously. There will be times when parenting is the hardest “career” on earth, changing jobs is not an option. No matter how difficult the relationship may get, we must continue to be the best mom we can be. As they grow up, we are no longer responsible for their choices, but we will always be responsible for how we treat them.
Our challenges with motherhood Continue reading Is it Better to Be a Good Mother or a Grand Mother?