Tag Archives: confidence

5 Steps for Changing Habits 

Which body part do you wash first when showering?

If you cannot answer to my silly question, don’t worry. I’m sure that the next time you start lathering up, you will notice that you have a very defined routine that is so deeply ingrained into a rhythm that you don’t even give showering a thought.

Routines rock!

Creating a system for every day habits may seem silly, but the busier your life is, the more  important mindless habits are, because they remove the stress of making one more decision. When you’re overwhelmed without deeply rooted routines, it is easy to loose keys, forget appointments and miss meals.

Stress makes a mind scattered, and a scattered mind increases stress.

You were designed for routine.

Our bodies craves rhythm as much as the tides do–all of God’s creation was made with seasons and cycles. Imagine if the sun and moon had the free-will to resist His plan like we do; all of nature would be as stressed out as we are!

For many years I fought routine. I didn’t want anyone telling me what to do–not even my own schedule! Now that I am old (yea, I just had a birthday. I’m feeling it.), I see the foolishness of my younger, scattered ways. Somehow I thought that creating habits was boring and I did’t want to be “stuck in a rut” so I lived “by the seat of my pants.” I was fooled to think that I had better control if I resisted rules and routines. Unfortunately, my unstructured life got the best of me and wore out my adrenal glands.

It’s good to be flexible, but when you constantly change your ways, you create chaos.

I’m living a bit of a scattered life again as I have faced a few major life changes at once. I am working after-hours to finish up a rental home my husband and I are building, my children are in big  transitions and my dad is very sick. My purpose, plan, schedule, diet, location and even transportation are all fluctuating and I have completely lost my rhythm. I no longer love the adrenaline rush of spontaneity; instead, I crave the confidence that comes with having habits.

Routines change

If you, too, are feeling the stress of a scattered life, I encourage you to join me in reforming your routines. Some habits, like showering, remain as consistent as the setting sun. Thank God, we don’t have to think about what to do. We just do it and forget it.

Some habits–like eating–need to be protected for survival.

But even the sun’s routine changes with the seasons. We are wise not to resist life’s changes, but to, instead, make any needed adjustments while remaining as consistent as possible.

Here are 5 steps we can implement to create habits that remove stress:

  1. De-clutter. (It is much easier to live in my rental home, where there are only basic needs.)
  2. Go shopping. (I now have duplicate personal care products so that I don’t have to think about packing them anymore.)
  3. Create new space (I am finally establishing a new place to write.)
  4. Take charge of your schedule (unfortunately, my time to blog has taken a lower priority during this season.)
  5. Breathe (When I miss blogging for you, I remember that I only have so much time with my loved ones and once this house is done, it will always be done.)

Seasons change, but they also change again, and if we are women of confidence, we need olive in the moment. If this moment is hard, then we stay strong and keep going. It’s our habits that keep us  fed, rested and strong. What needs are there in your life that need to become habits so that you no longer have to think about them?

btw, I always wash my right arm first.

*****

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What is your Personal Presence?

Many factors have made me hyper-sensitive to family dynamics recently: My pastor has been preaching a series on relationships, I am preparing for a mother / daughter event, I am finishing up a child’s book about the six styles of children, and most significantly, cancer has invaded my strong, influential father and I am getting a lot of extra time with my extended family as we all join efforts in helping my parents through the fight of a life-time.

How wonderful and pleasant it is

    when brothers live together in harmony! ~Psalm 133:1

All these factors are teaching me three valuable lessons: Continue reading What is your Personal Presence?

2 Wise Ways to Shop on a Budget

There are two well-known nuggets of wisdom that will help anyone stay on a budget when grocery shopping. They are also brilliant policies for anyone shopping for clothing:

1. Don’t shop hungry

An empty belly makes the mind less focused. It is human nature to kick into survival mode when in any physical need. If you are feeling weak and desperate, any food placed before you is appealing–no matter what the menu plan was for the week. The same is true for clothing shopping. If you go shopping when you feel unattractive and underprivileged, any new outfit may be appealing, no matter what you actually need.

Wether you like to shop or not is a big indicator of your Img.ID:

C: I shop very seldom
N: I shop very practically
D: I love to shop
I: I like new things but mostly shop for others
R: I love to shop for shoes (even if I don’t always wear them)
G: I am a very smart shopper 

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear, click here to take the Img.ID quiz.

Continue reading 2 Wise Ways to Shop on a Budget

The Secret to Simplifying your Closet

Spring is such an exciting time of year, isn’t it? As the trees begin to bloom and new buds break through the gardens, they call us out of our homes and into the yards to prepare for the season to come. Fun in the sun is just around the corner, but for now there is a lot of work to be done.

WEEDING

The long winter brought down to the ground what once was colorful foliage. The dead, dry leaves must now be raked and removed to make way for that which is to come. This cycle is simply a fact of life. If we want beautiful gardens, we must clean them out or else, no matter how lovely the new flowers, their beauty will be hindered by all the old clutter around them.

Your closet is the same way. Yes, it’s time to pull out the bright colors and light fabrics again. It may even be time to do some serious shopping, but first, let’s make room for that which is to come. Continue reading The Secret to Simplifying your Closet

Validation, Everyone Needs It

When is the last time someone said something encouraging to you as a person?

You are very good at that.

You are so strong!

You are beautiful.

I hope it was this morning that someone validated you as a person, but I know that in reality it may have been a long time since you have heard a positive statement about your looks, strengths or qualities. For some reason, most of us hold back from “speaking life” over each other.

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!-Deuteronomy 30:19 

I was just making a bitmoji with my daughter. We were cracking up Continue reading Validation, Everyone Needs It

Confident for Our Children

As Easter approaches, let’s consider how Mary’s mamma-heart must have felt during Jesus’ persecution and death.

As moms, we believe in our kids. Sure, we see their faults and we get frustrated when they don’t follow our wishes, but we see beyond the present day; we see their potential future. If anyone should point out their imperfections, we defend them because we know that, one day, each of them will be great!

I imagine that this must have been especially true for Mary. Granted, her son was perfect–but she was not. Surely she got anxious about the expectations she had for Him. After all, she was told (directly by an angel!) profound promises about His future yet she had to wait thirty years before He began His ministry. Continue reading Confident for Our Children

Finding Strength in the Confidence Conflicts

Not all Confidence Conflicts are Beauty Battles. Attacks on our identity come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Most of these conflicts are mountains–whether we made them out of molehills or not.

Nineteen years ago today, my husband and I faced one of our biggest mountains: the loss of our daughter.

Grief is a very real and very difficult Confidence Conflict, which leaves you feeling small and overwhelmed. Emotions are raw, vision is blurred and the path to peace is hard to find. There were many times during our journey when we lost our way, broke down, gave up or separated from each other emotionally. We did, however, make a decision to reunite and help each other over the mountain of grief. Eventually we found our way through the woods, but I don’t believe we would have made it to higher ground if we hadn’t called out to God for help. Continue reading Finding Strength in the Confidence Conflicts

What to Wear for the Exotic Beauty

The Dramatic woman is just that: passionately expressive. Conversations with her are very deep and theatrically infused with emotional word-pictures. She’s a rather private person, but somehow doesn’t mind the spot light. In fact, many Dramatics take up their profession in the fine arts and are often found in the theaters or on television. These girls (and guys) put their whole heart into their performance and their long, lean physique is easy on the camera.

For the same reasons, many Dramatics are Continue reading What to Wear for the Exotic Beauty

What to Wear for the Bold Beauty

The Gamine Beauty is a strong, witty, hardworking, witty woman who is driven by justice. She has an eye for detail and a passion for purpose. No grass grows under her feet. If there is work to be done, the Gamine girl will get it done. Or she will tell someone to do it. If there’s fun to be had, you can’t hold her back there, either. “ALL IN” that’s the Gamine mantra.

The Beauty Battle for the Gamine is often fought within her own heart. Her strong presence and apparent convictions put up a front that protects her from most outside attacks, but Continue reading What to Wear for the Bold Beauty

What to Wear for the Delicate Beauty

There’s something very attractive about the innocence of a child. Just being around a joyful little girl enjoying her playtime can lift the dreariest of attitudes and encouraged the depressed. That’s what it’s like to be around a Confident Ingénue.

ingénue | ˌanjəˈno͞o, ˈänjəˌno͞o |
noun
an innocent or unsophisticated young woman, especially in a play or film.

The Delicate Beauty has a sweet, gentle way about her. She’s considerate and kind and she has a positive outlook on life–at least until someone takes advantage of her and she finds herself in a Beauty Battle. Because of her petite frame and soft voice, she is often an easy target for a “big bully” and because this girl feels things so deeply, when she is mistreated it may very well send her into an identity crisis. Continue reading What to Wear for the Delicate Beauty

3 Questions to Reset your New Year

The start of a new year is a great time to reflect and reset. As you reflect on 2017, do you recognize the changes in your life? Surely there were some good and some bad experiences. Perhaps your character was strengthened; maybe your hope was defeated. Was your patience tested, your confidence challenged? How did these thing affect your how you feel about yourself? Experiences are a big influence in our identity, but they do not need to define us. Perhaps this is why I love new beginnings so much. There have been many times in my life when I have allowed experiences in my life to become who I was.

After experiencing a divorce, I took the identity of “throw away wife” and was not able to build another healthy relationship until I was able to find the truth about who I was.

Some experiences require an identity check in order to move on. It is not wise to risk your heart for a future relationship (or job, location, etc) when it is still wounded from a past one.  We have a choice in how experiences affect us. They can defeat us and deter us from growth, or they can become our personal exercise program as we work through the difficulty and become stronger for it. Continue reading 3 Questions to Reset your New Year

Confident About the Beauty of Christmas

How many Christmas pageants, plays or recitals did you go to this year? Children add so much life to this season, don’t they? It doesn’t matter if their costumes are professional or pathetic, when a child is on a stage being recognized, it is beautiful.

Or at least entertaining.

A few children who play their part with a calm, strong confidence can make a silly program truly impressive, but the children who are timid, shy and awkward–or the ones who are boisterous and showing off–are still adorable.

When children have the guts to get up on a stage, we have grace for their fears, and when they get up there and enjoy themselves, we give them the right to be proud of what they were doing. The older we get, however, the less leeway we have between timidity and arrogance. Continue reading Confident About the Beauty of Christmas