Tag Archives: confidence

The Secret to Decorating your Home for the Holidays

As you surf you social medias for ideas and inspiration to decorate your home, are you feeling pressured an overwhelmed by all the alternatives? Dressing your home can be just as intimidating as creating a beautiful wardrobe.

It can also be just as empowering.

Like Goldilocks, we may not know exactly what we want, but once we try it out, we are certain if it is “too hard” or “too soft.” It takes most of us many years of testing and trying before we find the style that is “just right” but once we do–wether it’s the style of our home or our clothing–we discover a certain peace and power that can be summed up in one word: CONFIDENCE.

You know when you meet a woman with confidence. She isn’t shy or timid, but she isn’t threatening or condescending, either. She isn’t showing off, nor is she hiding because she isn’t concerned with your thoughts about her. She is simply at peace with herself and that makes you feel at peace around her.

You know when you enter the home of a woman with confidence because you feel the same thing: peace. As you look around at how she has decorated her personal space, you understand her more. Whether it is open and inviting or quaint and intimate, her home (just like her wardrobe) should indicate her personality. If her style contradicts her character, her guests will not feel at ease in her home.

The secret is knowing who you are.

As you have been scrolling through Pintrest, how many times have you said, “I love that. But it’s not me.” You know you have found a style that suits you well when your heart jumps and you say, “oh, wow, that’s nice! I want to do that.” Once you find that perfect fit, the feeling of overwhelm drops and confidence rises up in you, empowering you with a peace that is able to enjoy other styles because it has found its own.

 

The style that makes your heart jump is a big indicator of your personal Image Identity:
imagejpeg_0-2C: Elegant, traditional (The Classic)

N: Rustic, simple (To the Natural)

D: Extravagant, exotic (The Dramatic)

I: Sentimental, sweet (The Ingénue)

R: Welcoming, nostalgic (The Romantic)

G: Fun, festive (The Gamine) 

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear, also, find me on Pinterest (I have one board for each of the 6 Img.IDs).

As you prepare to decorate your home for the holidays, remember that it takes time to discover your personal style (or “Img.ID”), so enjoy the process. We all start out like Goldilocks, testing and tasting everyone else’s style until we find our own, but we don’t have to be invasive or obsessive like she was by trespassing (thanks, Pinterest!). As your personal Img.ID is being slowly unveiled, be careful not to let your heart be stressed and striving. When you go to a house party this season, enjoy getting to know the host by observing the style of decorations. As you understand yourself more, you will be released from the trap of comparison. After all, if a rude and critical intruder can fall asleep in the home of three bears in the woods, then you, too, can let your guard down and rest in the home of another confident woman, because you will be one as well.

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

 

FREE Giveaway this Giving Tuesday

It is “Giving Tuesday,” a lot of wonderful organizations receive a great part of their funds this one day of the year. (I sure got a lot of requests, did you?) I know that giving is a great way to start the Christmas season and of course I want to support the many wonderful causes, but honestly, I struggle with stinginess. After all, there’s shopping to do–gifts to buy–what if I run out of money and don’t get to spoil my kids the way I want to? I am reminded of a time in my life when I wrestled with God over my attitude.

Financial fears were robbing me from enjoying my abundant blessings.

I was sitting at my kitchen counter having a quiet moment of reflection. Looking around at my new house, I was overwhelmed by all the shopping that needed to be done to make the big, empty space into a home.

I needed some encouragement, so I opened my Bible and found this:

The generous soul will be made rich, And he who waters will also be watered himself. Proverbs 11:25 NKJV
The generous soul will be made rich, And he who waters will also be watered himself. Proverbs 11:25 NKJV

“You need to become more generous.”

“Ouch! Really, Lord, more generous? My husband already gives more than we should. We have a mortgage now. I don’t want to risk loosing what we have worked so hard for!”

“That’s what I’m saying, my daughter. You are benefiting from your husband’s generous heart. I love to bless people who, like a vessel, gratefully receive and willingly shares what they have been given. Through an open vessel my heart is revealed to others, not a closed one. Do not cling to what you already have or the fear of loosing it will engulf you and hide my heart from others.”

Stinginess is not beautiful.

There are some lessons in life that we may have to learn over and over before we really get them. I’m not sure I’ve got the generosity thing down yet, but in honor of Giving Tuesday, I thought I would practice what I’m learning (again) by giving away what I feel is one of my best accomplishments, my book.

Click Here to Submit your request for a FREE copy of Confident Beauty

Of course there’s a catch…

I will give you a copy of Confident Beauty, Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, but I want you to give it away to anyone in your life who has or is facing some kind of Image Issue (and yes, you can make it a Christmas gift). Deal?

What are Image Issues?

An Image Issue is any physical, emotional or spiritual Beauty Battle that challenges your confidence and makes you feel ugly, ashamed, invisible, unwanted… It could be a birthmark, an inability, or disproportion that makes you HATE, HIDE, or get HUNG UP on your appearance. It may show itself as weight issues, skin problems, eating disorders, addictions, social stigmas or OCD. It may drive you to act with disgrace, or strive for perfection. It may look like popularity and dress like a diva or appear humble, care free or completely grunge. Others may see it as an over-concern for fashion, makeup or piercings, or it could be a total lack of concern for body image.

Beauty out of balance is not beautiful.

Confident Beauty is a balance of caring for self and for others, and that’s what my book is all about. The greatest thing I could give you or the one you love is the insights I found and share in Confident Beauty. Image issues show up in a number of ways, but they all come down to one thing: beauty out of balance is far from confident. Truth is what sets us free.  Do you have a woman or girl in your life who could use some help understanding herself and the emotional (and spiritual!) battle she faces?  If you want to give her something that can help her become a Confident Beauty–inside and out–then please click the button below.

Tonight I am giving away 10 audiobook 3 paperback books for FREE. Just click the button below to tell me where (and which type) to send your copy.

Click Here to Submit your request for a FREE copy of Confident Beauty

Cover ConfidentBeauty CVR-LGNote: there is also a QR code to get a FREE ebook in the cover of every paperback copy of Confident Beauty (on any day of the year).

Sharing is caring!

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

 

Are you Thankful for Your Beauty?

A woman’s home is a big indication of her heart.

My husband’s company just finished a small development of quaint, custom homes in the same village where he has been building elaborate masterpieces for many years. This was our first time doing a whole neighborhood and I found the social dynamics very interesting. Because a woman’s home is a significant part of her identity, I feel it an appropriate topic for a blog on Confident Beauty.

You were custom built.

Some developments are cookie-cutter; each house is the same style. In our development there are six different styles. Because there are only eleven homes and the styles which are duplicated are either mirrored, turned or altered in some way, none of them look alike. Whether the house was purchased before, during or after completion, each home has details that are crafted specifically for the homeowner, increasing the variety even more.

There are only six different styles of feminine beauty and yet no two women are alike. You may be a short, full-figured, curly-hair blonde with a round face, blue eyes and a button nose, but that doesn’t mean you look anything like another woman of the same description. This is because Continue reading Are you Thankful for Your Beauty?

How the Beauty of Autumn can Help Us Survive Change

Change is hard.  In fact, most of us struggle with any major alterations in our lives. It is especially difficult when it’s unexpected, unwanted and we have not yet had to make extreme adjustments in our lives before. This is evident when we see how difficult this election has been for so many millennials.

Consider the first major change in your own life. Perhaps it was a change in schools, a move, a death or divorce that had you stressed about your future. Do you remember the fear, frustration or panic you may have felt? (If you are a Natural, then you don’t have to answer that because your calm and casual nature is very strong when it comes to Confidence Conflicts, but keep reading–and please share–because you are the girls who can help the rest of us with this.)

Having been brought up in a safe and secure family environment, my first few major changes only strengthened me for the devastation of my divorce. I remember moving into my parents basement pregnant and alone and having my mom (a Natural) remind me that I had been through other difficult times and I would make it through this, too.

img_3996When my baby died, it was my pastor who knelt at my rocking chair and reminded me that I would survive that extreme adjustment. I remember his words like yesterday, “Catrina, we are not human beings living a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings living a human experience.” I was still holding Rebecca in my arms when he told me to look outside at all the barren trees. “Their lifeless branches look dead, don’t they? But you know Spring will come again and those ugly, grey trees will once again bear their beauty. Imagine how scary it would be to watch the entire landscape around you loose it’s color and fall to the ground, withered and dried, if you had no idea that this was part of a cycle. Don’t allow the fear of your reality to keep you from the peace that comes with having faith in the future.”

When we believe there is life after death, that God is ultimately in control, that He is trustworthy, generous and kind; and that He knows what He is doing, it changes everything. Faith chases away fear.

Whether it’s the political changes that have you fearful, frustrated, or in a panic, or if it is your private life that is unsettled, I encourage you to look around at the extra-vibrant colors in our landscape this Autumn, and consider it a Holy Hug. God has surrounded us with evidence of His ability to make all things beautiful in His time. None of our drama is a surprise to Him. Let’s rest in this peace that surpasses all understanding and put all our nervous energy into enjoying the process. I don’t know about you, but I used to be blind to the beauty of Autumn for dread of the Winter. This year I find its beauty is only strengthening me for the barren season. I am up to the challenge and have high expectations for Spring and Summer to return once again in our Country and in my personal life.

Call me a fool, but I have seen God’s faithfulness too many times to doubt Him now. After all, when’s the last time you didn’t survive a change?

Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.      –Romans 8: 37-19

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

 

Acting Out Life’s Drama with Confident Faith

Whenever we face a personal crisis, it will become a public matter. The bigger the crisis, the broader the audience of eyes watching our drama. This is part of living in a news-driven, gossip-seeking society.

It’s also part of being human.

When I was going through my divorce, I hated this fact of life. It felt like criticism and condemnation. Human nature tends to feel the need to judge our mess, choose what they believe and pick a side, often without reconsidering the first story they heard.

When I lost my daughter, I eventually embraced the idea of having so many people watching our story because I knew that they loved and supported us. There was no judgment to be made–except by those who wanted to blame God, but few spoke to us that way since it was so obvious that God and His people were the ones carrying us through and giving us strength.

When my son’s addiction first came to light, I feared the fact that others were talking about it and watching us. Fear is not healthy or empowering; it is destructive and disabling. In may ways, the fear made the problem even worse.

Critical eyeToday’s drug issues are not as much of a stigmatism as they were five years ago, but the fear still runs rampant. Last week I blogged about the various ways we handle life’s ugly pits. Because of the responses I got, I know I need to continue on this scary journey of being vulnerable with my mess so that We all remember we are not alone.

People will always judge.

Don’t let the fear of someone else’s opinion rob your strength; choose to let it empower you. Consider what people say. If you see any truth in it, then bravely deal with it. Have a grateful heart; someone cared enough to speak up. No matter what their attitude was, their vision can broaden yours–if you chose not to allow pride blind you.

Let go of all the parts that are not true.

If they are completely wrong and rude, do not waist any more time or strength on their opinion. Let your frustration empower you to do what you need to do to deal with your crisis.

People will always watch.

Don’t let your audience give you stage fright, choose to keep preforming. Not to say that you are putting on an act, but there are times when life is so hard that you must simply keep going through the motions. That can be extra difficult when others are observing your every move.

Be confident and do it anyway.

When we first found out that Rebecca would not live long, we were helping to lead a youth group. The kids and their parents were devastated, of course. We understood their horror at our news, but were confused by the response we received.

What do people say when they watch you in a crisis?

C: “You are so in control.”

N: “You are so calm.”

D: “You are so strong.”

I: “I am so sorry, can I help?”

R: “Are you ok? Please let me help.”

G: “I’m sorry.”

Click the letter of the response you typically get to see if it may be an indication of your personal Img.ID  For more, search your Img.ID on my website.

Some of our messes are so ugly that those watching are uncomfortable.

Because of the innate nature to judge others, it’s only natural for people around us to try to read how we are doing and respond accordingly. The most common response my husband and I got with the news that Rebecca had Trisomy 18 was, “You are handling it so well.” Which was actually quite frustrating since we felt as if we couldn’t handle it at all! (I didn’t quite understand then that, as a Dramatic, I looked stronger than I actually was.)

 

I remember pouring out my frustration in prayer one day and feeling as if God literally spoke to my heart, “Catrina, I know it feels like they are judging you again, but you are judging them as well. They are not excusing themselves from helping you by assuming you are fine. They are misreading you. Show them your heart; and judge only their heart–not the awkward words they use to try to express their desire to be a part of your crisis.”

Embracing the stage.

If you are struggling with the fact that others are observing your personal drama, I encourage you to turn to the Director. God understands all the details, including what you (and others!) are feeling. If He has allowed a crisis into your life, then I have to believe that He thinks you can handle the stage. Don’t loose focus of your part in the play for fear of the critics.

Let’s not put on an act for those watching our crisis. Instead, let’s put on the garment of Confident Faith and BE and LET BE.

Do You Feel Good or Guilty about “Me Time”?

It’s been nasty weather all week, but a rainy day off is a whole different game than a workday storm. It’s only natural to allow what is outside to determine our mood and motivation. As busy Americans, we may be frustrated at the inconvenience of the wet wind. The traffic is slower, the bank lines are longer, the  malls are crowded and our hair is a mess!

But a rainy day at home is a breath of fresh air–a day to relax and unwind while we catch up on housework or cuddle up with our kids. I love a rainy day off because I think I finally have time to write.

What do you like to do on a rainy day off? 

C: workout 

N: watch a movie

D: have a facial

I: do a craft

R: bake some cookies

G: organize the junk drawers 

Note: These choices represent the typical responses of each Image Identity. Click the letter to learn more about that style, including What2Wear.

On a rainy day off, do you actually do what you want?

Yea, I sabotaged my schedule, too. In fact, I thought I’d have extra writing time to work on my new book today, but I “had to” do a whole lot of other things before I would allow myself the “me time.” Now, suddenly it’s time to make dinner, and I still haven’t even gone to the market!

Why do we feel guilty about free time?

Guilt is such a distraction from reality. Think about it. When it’s gorgeous outside and we’re stuck inside, we feel like we waisted a great day. When it’s nasty out and we get to stay home, we feel ashamed if we weren’t productive. How many of us (besides Naturals) can just sit and enjoy that movie in the middle of the day without stressing over what we should be doing?

We tell each other to “stop and smell the roses” yet we believe that busy people are happy, successful people, so we keep running hard, thinking that one day we will earn some time in the garden of bliss.

Do you feel good or guilty on your rainy days off? 

If you ever beat yourself up over “me time,” I encourage you to take a deep breath and think for a moment. How do you feel when your kids laugh and play? What does your heart say when you watch them play their sports, do a craft, or laugh through a movie? Now picture them frustrated with themselves, striving to please you or someone else. Which feeling do you want others to experience when they are around you?

Personally, I’m tiered of punishing myself as if I never do enough. I’m tiered of feeling guilty whenever I take some time to do what my heart desires, whether it’s sitting at the computer or soaking in the tub. I want those around me to experience peace. I think of how satisfied I feel when my daughter practices her music. When she takes that time for herself I enjoy it just as much as she does! Granted, her angelic voice is far more satisfying to be around than the tapping of my keyboard is, but even if she sang out of tune, my mommy heart would rejoice with adoration, knowing she is pursuing what she loves.  I believe that is also how our Heavenly Father feels when we enjoy ourselves–especially when we are using our gifts–and if that’s how He feels, then we should all be working and playing with passion–guilt free!

So, go do your stretches, pull out your art, go to the spa, start the oven or pick out a movie! Do what you love to do… and you Gamines, go ahead, clean out the junk drawer, but at least dance while you do it.

Just sayin. It’s the peace that makes a woman a Confident Beauty.

“He who would love life
And see good days,

Let him refrain his tongue from evil,
And his lips from speaking deceit.

Let him turn away from evil and do good;
Let him seek peace and pursue it.

For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their prayers;
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” 
                                             1 Peter 3: 10-12

*****

As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” I help women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teach them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider me as a speaker for your next event. You can find me on Facebook, TwitterLinked In, Goodreads. For ideas of What2Wear, find me on Pinterest where I have a board for each personal Img.ID.

 

Transitioning Your Wardrobe for the New Season

For those of us in New England, it’s time to transition the wardrobe. Although we are still having some fair weather, the light summer clothing is just not going to do it much longer.

As Autumn sets in and you pull out last year’s warmer wardrobe, do you find yourself excited to wear those items again? If not, it may be time to do the dreaded weeding. Theoretically, the things you put away last year should only be things that you love, are in good condition and still fit… or at least still fit last spring. Yet in reality, most of us throw last season’s clothing into our storage area without considering if we will ever wear it again or not. Now, as the weather demands we pull them out again and restock our closet, we look at our options and feel this looming dread and frustration over What2Wear.

There is plenty of choices hanging before us, yet we cry out, “I have nothing to wear!”

 

What would you do?

It’s a cool autumn day and you need a light jacket, so you go through what you have only to find that last year’s favorite is now a bit snug, has a stain and is missing a button. There's a number of ways you could deal with this Image Issue:

C: Bring it to the drycleaner and seamstress and wear it for a few more years.

N: Keep your chin up and wear it anyway.

D: Leave it in your closet and go buy a cute new jacket and tell your husband you’ve had it forever.

I: Leave it in your closet and go without a jacket.

R: Leave it in your closet and wear a favorite sweatshirt instead.

G: Same as D, but tell your husband (and anyone else who questions or comments) that you got an amazing deal.


Note: These choices represent the typical responses of each Image Identity. Click the letter to learn more about that style, including What2Wear.

dresses-53319_640Science has proven over and over again that we are more confident about making any decision if there are fewer choices. Yet for some reason our nature reasons that we should “keep our options wide open” and not throw out anything we already possess.

 

The guilt over waste

Since early childhood we have been trained not to waste. After all, there are starving, naked children all over this world. Everyone knows that good people should be resourceful and respectful with what they have. We live in a greedy, materialistic society, but if we want to be honorable citizens, we should be content with that which we have. Right?

But isn’t sharing our hand-me-downs with Salvation Army more resourceful and respectful than hording our unwanted items in our cluttered closet? And isn’t clinging to things we don’t even want more of an indicator of materialism than it is of contentment? Honestly, I think the real issue is more about fear than it is values. I know I’m guilty of being afraid that, if I give away that stupid jacket, I will wish I still had it. Have you ever been afraid you won’t find something else to replace your worn out favorite? Or that you will forget the memory it represents… or that the person who gave it to you will find out you don’t really like it. Yet there’s a good chance they don’t even remember, because they haven’t seen you wear it in years anyway.

Take a picture of it.

Just saying.

When we get right down to the matter, I think we hold onto things because we are afraid we are being wasteful or ungrateful or that mom will find out we are no longer frugal.  We are afraid of what other people think.

Maybe it’s time we get over our fears and begin to weed out anything in our wardrobe that holds us back from being a Confident Beauty.

*****

As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” I help women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teach them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider me as a speaker for your next event. You can find me on Facebook, TwitterLinked In, Goodreads. For ideas of What2Wear, find me on Pinterest where I have a board for each personal Img.ID.

Does Beauty Embarrass You?

When dealing with a client, most professionals are taught to avoid talking about religion or politics, but there are two other topics that I believe make people even more uncomfortable: success and beauty. 

The real issue: vulnerability

Religion and politics make people squeamish because it’s difficult to have a heart-to-heart with someone for fear that there will be a disagreement in an area where there are deep convictions. Success and beauty can be just as personal. Sure, it’s fine to talk about any of these topics if we keep our opinion out of it, and yes, it is easier to have a general conversation about finances or image than it is elections or faith, but I guarantee that when an outward discussion (even if it’s general) is happening about the first two, there is also some personal self-talk going on.

Especially if the topic is beauty for a woman or success for a man.

I’m far from qualified to discuss a man’s point of view, but can we get personal for a moment about the woman’s heart? I know it’s uncomfortable, but hey, that’s why I like to write: you can read this all alone with no one looking you in the eye… or elsewhere.

The Beauty Battle

The emotional turmoil starts in early childhood when our little-girl-heart revealed its longing to be lovely. Maybe it was the day you danced before your daddy to show off your new dress, or perhaps the moment you were caught playing with your mom’s makeup… Most women can tell a story of a day she began to feel the Beauty Battle. At some point, we all recognize that there is something terribly vulnerable about a girl’s desire to be seen.

As with any emotional battle, each one of us will have our own interpretation of what we are feeling and how we should respond. Our experiences, personality, beliefs, and the responses we receive will always influence how we interpret anything we feel, but I believe their are two major problems with our interpretations of the Beauty Battle: Continue reading Does Beauty Embarrass You?

How Discomfort Creates Confidence

If you have ever been in an uncomfortable situation, you know that your confidence is the first thing affected. Think about the last time you found yourself shaking in your boots. What made you feel self-conscious, was it when:

  • You were physically, emotionally or spiritually challenged?
  • You received personal, unwanted feedback regarding something you need to improve?
  • You did, said or dressed inappropriately?

There will always be times in our lives when we step out–or are pushed out–of our comfort zone. The key to success is embracing these times so that they create something new in us instead of squelching us. Last week I shared with you how my new assistant coaching position has challenged my confidence. I wish I could say I have it all figured out now and I’m feeling like a Confident Beauty. But I haven’t, and I don’t. But I am loving the challenge. It’s physically strenuous, emotionally daunting and honestly spiritually challenging (my pride is really struggling!). I’m definitely not the victor in all arenas, but I have to say, Continue reading How Discomfort Creates Confidence

3 Ways to Deal with Back to School Blues

For many girls all over the world, this week is the most difficult one of their lives. After Labor Day Weekend, they must go into new territory and face many challenges and insecurities. New Schools, new teachers, peers. studies, sports and activities.

Not to mention new outfits!

Fear of the unknown is one of the strongest Confidence Conflict we will ever face.

I am personally challenged by the unknown this season. As the new assistant coach to daughter’s volleyball team, I find myself in a familiar position of awkwardness. Having little understanding of the sport and very weak skills, I feel in adequate and unqualified. It has been several decades since I have been in high school, yet I find myself battling the same Confidence Conflicts as the kids I am coaching.

Yesterday, the head coach was showing us a funny, dance-like move to spike the ball with power. The first attempt at practicing it was half-hearted and hysterical. Laughter is a great way to hide our embarrassment–at least we don’t feel alone.

Or at least we don’t look like we feel alone.

After the first run through the drill, coach asked our players how many of them felt like they “got it.”

No one did.

My wise, new friend helped the players realized they were not alone in struggling with their new skill. Once they believed that, they were able to forget about how silly they looked and focus on giving it some real effort. It was astounding how much better they were with their second run through the drill!

If you have ever had to learn a new skill, taken on a new position, entered a new environment or had to make new friends, then you know that awkward feeling of not knowing what to do. This can be exceptionally difficult if you do not know who you are or where you stand. Whether you are starting school or a new job, when you don’t know the building, the people, the plan or the requirements, there's a number of ways you could respond: 

C:volleyball-1531786_640 Study hard and figure it out.

N: Play it cool, stay quiet, watch those around you to find a way.

D: Feel defeated, become consumed by your failures.

I: Quietly shut down and pretend there is no problem.

R: Encourage everyone else–while feeling stupid and beating yourself up.

G: Take charge, point out other people's mistakes and try to hide your own.
 
Note: These choices represent the typical responses of each Image Identity. Click the letter to learn more about that style, including What2Wear. 

We cannot master anything we do not understand and only a heart that is humble is teachable.

Self-talk is the key to succeeding at anything. Every one of us will feel stupid and out of place many times in our lives, especially when facing something new. It doesn’t matter how old we are or what we have accomplished, there will always be something we haven’t done before.

Like volleyball for me. I thought I was bringing some amazing life skills to encourage the team with, instead I am receiving them because these girls are the ones encouraging me!

Whether we think we can or think we can’t, we are right.

Like the follow-through of any ball we throw, hit, spike or putt, our thoughts determine the direction of our confidence. Basically, we have 3 choices:

  1. Ignore or down-play the challenge to hide our feelings of inadequacy–but hinder our ability to improve.
  2. Exaggerate the challenge to disguise our inadequacy–but give it the power to consume us or leave us feeling defeated and desolate.
  3. Accept the challenge for what it is–empowering us to learn and improve.

If you are heading off to a new environment or position this week, I encourage you to join me in stepping out of the fear of the unknown and taking on the challenge with confidence. Anything new is awkward for a little while. Let’s give ourselves time. If we stay humble enough to be teachable, all our fears will be replaced with confidence as we realize we are not alone. We are not stupid or inadequate; we are learning and we are improving and that is nothing to feel embarrassed about.

Go Eagles!

*****

As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” I help women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teach them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider me as a speaker for your next event. You can find me on Facebook, TwitterLinked In, Goodreads. For ideas of What2Wear, find me on Pinterest where I have a board for each personal Img.ID.