In the beginning, God created man and woman in His image and gave them a mission to enjoy His creation, reign over it and fill the Earth with lots of offspring. But they got distracted by a snake (see my last blog).
When we mess up, God calls out for us.
Most of us get off-mission at some (or many) point in our lives. Whether it’s a cruel word or big mistake, if we want to overcome self-consciousness, we are wise to consider the questions God asked the first couple after they messed up.
Where are you?
God went searching for the first couple. He knew they were hiding in the bushes with fig leaves covering their bodies, but He called to them to give them another chance to turn back to Him, for He is a gentleman who does not push himself on others.
In the same way, He still seeks after you and me.
The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.”
2 Chronicles 16:9a NLT
Who told you you were naked?
God acknowledges the problem. He does not like it when His children are belittled. Obviously, they were now embarrassed about their nakedness. God recognized their shame (even though it was part of His very good plan that they should have freedom from wardrobe) and brings it up for discussion. Have you ever been made to feel badly about something in your life or image?
“You’re so (naked / vulnerable / ugly)…” “Your not (like God / good at that / very strong)…” “You should (hide / shut up / stop doing that) …”
Your Creator cares about the way you are treated. He doesn’t control those who hurt you, but He will deal with them at the right time. For now, He longs to comfort and heal you, but first, He must deal with what you did.
Did you do something wrong?
God had one rule for Adam and Eve: Don’t touch that one tree. The rule didn’t just protect them from knowing evil, shame, fear and self-consciousness; it also gave them the opportunity to show Him that they were choosing to obey, trust, and love Him. He had no desire to control them and He still wants His children to have free choice.
But when we mess up, we must fess up or we will remain in our shame.
They failed Him, but He did not fail them. God brings our shame into the open not to condemn, but to correct. Love allows consequences; no longer could they walk freely in the Garden, but neither did they need to cower from Him. He removed their uncomfortable attempt at clothing and covered them with beautiful leather. Then He sent them back on their mission to have dominion over creation and to be fruitful and multiply. We know for certain that they were forgiven and given a fresh start, because it was only after paradise was lost that Eve was given her name.
Then the man–Adam–named his wife Eve, because she would be the mother of all who live.
If you have been questioning God’s rules and doubted His heart; if you have lost your confidence and are hiding who you really are; if you are keeping your distance from God and man, I encourage you to listen for the voice of God and seek the truth, for this is what sets us free. Acknowledge the words that have hurt you and let God deal out the consequences in His time. For now, confess any part you did wrong and put on the clothing of forgiveness! The snake will get what’s coming to him, but let’s not let his words keep us from getting back to being who we were designed to be!
If you have ever been set free from the pain of someone’s words, or if you know someone struggling with their identity, would you share this blog on your social media?
As an author and speaker, my passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, I love to use my profession, along with my experiences and training as a Biblical life-coach to help others struggling. If you want to make difference, too, would you help share this blog and connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads
Life may never be the same after this pandemic, but it sure is good to get back into the salons, even if it’s so much less personal! It’s just easier to cope with all the changes when our nails are finished and our hair is good, isn’t it?
As women, when we feel beautiful, we feel confident.
Achieving beauty is one way we attempt to become confident. Success, wisdom, popularity and strength are other powerful sources for self-esteem. Yet, the moment someone outshines, undermines, devalues or corrects us, we will likely feel defeated, diminished, devalued.
Is there anything that will truly satisfy our need to feel good about ourselves?
Racial discrimination is a serious problem, but prejudice isn’t limited to color or culture. People always “judge a book by its cover,” this is a fact of life. If we are honest, we all make visual assessments and prideful assumptions based on personal experiences and preferences all the time.
We choose our communities, caretakers or political parties according to our beliefs, opinions and needs.
We use businesses, attend meetings and make friends only if we feel comfortable with those people.
We decide which checkout line we will use according to our assumption of the cashier’s attitude and aptitude.
It is natural and normal to make decisions based on appearances. In fact, you and I decide if we like or trust a person, place or thing within six seconds. Is this wrong? Maybe, but this tendency to make quick judgments can save us time or keep us from danger.
Sometimes our first impressions are completely off, and we miss out on an opportunity or relationship that we may have enjoyed. Other times our assessments are completely inappropriate and we make harsh judgments based on personal opinions or experiences that have nothing to do with the reality of what–or who–we are criticizing.Continue reading The Best Solution to Discrimination→
“Favor is deceitful, beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:30
As a young church girl, I thought this scripture meant that it was wrong to be beautiful, that I shouldn’t want the favor of anyone, and that I should be afraid of God.
Wow was I off!
Many other times in Proverbs it is said that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. The understanding of fear that I had as a child is not the kind of fear God desires of us. We should fear Him like we fear fire; a better word may be RESPECT. When we don’t understand God’s heart–or fire–we will run away from it instead of enjoying it.
Most women don’t have Confident Beauty because they compare themselves to other styles, but if you have ever been mistreated because of your appearance, you know that Image Issues are more complicated than that, because BEAUTY IS DANGEROUS.
Beauty is dangerous when it defeats us.
Maybe you HATE how you look because you compare your beauty to the models in the media and you feel you don’t measure up. Maybe men have been mean to you or taken advantage of your body. Perhaps it’s women who have mistreated you and tried to demean your beauty so that they feel better about themselves.Continue reading 3 Reasons Beauty is Dangerous→
Every two-year-old has their tantrums, but some kids are less concerned about getting their way. Casual children are laidback and tend to go with the flow. It may seem, at times, that they simply don’t care but in reality, the Natural Clothing Personality has a gift for seeing the bigger picture. If your child has an optimistic outlook on life even when things don’t go their way, he or she may be a Casual Kid.
Most Naturals are broad boned and tall in height unless they have a combined Image Identity (Img.ID). Weight is sometimes an issue for this Img.ID because of their structure, but most Naturals are active in sports and nature and usually able to keep their weight under control.
Casual kids are faithful, low-maintenance friends. Their simplistic outlook and optimistic nature are encouraging and easy to be around. Their laid-back style, however, can be hard for parents to motivate. As we raise our children, Continue reading Do You Have a Laid-back, Casual Kid?→
Some children are very sensitive about what others feel.
Kids don’t always notice what is going on around them.They are usually too busy playing or dreaming to recognize what someone else may be thinking. Some children, however, are hyper-sensitive to the body language and voice fluctuations of those around them.
Many Romantics are actually Ingénues as children. The two styles are very much alike except for their figure frames. The Romantic has more curves, and the Ingénue has a straighter, less “fluffy” figure.
Weight can be an issue for any style, but the Romantic children tend to struggle with the consequences of this the most (the girls especially, since they tend to gain a full bosom before they are emotionally ready to have an adult figure). Continue reading Is your Child Charming and Compassionate?→
Image-Coach Reveals the 6 Clothing Personalities Through the Story of Katy’s Struggle with Self-esteem.
CAPE COD, Ma. (May 22, 2019) – The next generation is struggling with serious body image issues and it’s imperative that we help them. Parents play a vital part in how children see themselves, but this sensitive topic is not easyto discuss. With her latest book, author, Catrina Welch, taps her 30-plus years in the beauty industry to teach children confidence before their image becomes a life-long hang up. With a fun story, beautiful illustrations and suggested questions, this book unlocks a profound and pivotal message that could save your child from struggling with low self-esteem.
Like various flowers and trees, each boy and girl is beautiful and strong in their own way!
With the first hospital visit, adults begin “speaking life” over your baby:
He’s so big!
As children grow, we naturally announce and affirm each progression of their development:
Look how he holds his head up.
She took her first step!
A healthy self-esteem is encouraged.
Every child comes into this world with the need to know their worth and understand their purpose. Naturally, they find their answers (right or wrong) from their environment and the things we teach them.
If you have a healthy self-image then you will be better equipped to help your children avoid Image Issues.
Some women are strong, spunky and secure in their opinions. The Gamine clothing personality is average to short in stature, but she is not fragile: not in build, and not in personality.
She is like a Cala Lily: strong, sturdy and full of color and variety. The trumpet-shaped flower can endure almost any condition, in the same way, Gamines thrive in situations where most of us would not know what to do. When they see crisis, they jump to action—like the flower that pokes through the ground before the rest of the plant.
Grace makes or breaks the Gamine’s beauty
The Bold Beauty has an intense work ethic, which sometimes overrides her intense love for fun. She has a quick wit, level head and a passion to fix things. Unfortunately, sometimes her drive for justice can be intimidating to others–and to herself.Continue reading Gamine – the Bold Beauty→
Some women are simply laid back and casual; calm, cool and collected in nature. Those with the Naturalclothing personality are athletic and nature-oriented and tend to be comfortable with themselves.
She islike a wild flower, strong, sturdy and able to endure most environments; she has little need of care and attention. The Natural’s bright cheer brings life to any occasion, making a formal affair less stuffy and a casual event more inviting. She should be careful, however, to stay true to her casual nature, no matter the formality of her environment or she may come across as phony.
Some women are fast-paced, hardworking and unafraid to take risks. Those who are Dramatic in style have a daring nature that is seemingly uninhibited by the influences around her. Her long, straight features and extreme height are indication of her character. The Dramatic woman (or man, or child…) is focused and passionate about all she does.
She is like an exotic flower, her unusual beauty has a powerful presence that stands out and makes a statement. All too often, however, this girl is completely unaware of the influence she has on others. In reality, this Image Identity (Img.ID) really has a very sensitive spirit and when others feel intimidated by her, she often reads it as rejection.
Relatability makes or breaks the Dramatic’s beauty