Tag Archives: Img.ID

3 Reasons Image is a Bigger Issue for Some than it is for Others

After 33 years of helping women with Image Issues, I have come to the conclusion that there are the three reasons that the Beauty Battle is bigger for some than it is for others:

  1. Some people are raised in an environment that challenges their authentic style and confuses their ideology (like the Ugly Duckling we have been discussing the last few weeks).
  2. Some styles are more sensitive than others. Passionate people feel things more deeply than those who are less excitable, therefore, Image Issues can be a bigger battle for them to overcome emotionally.
  3. Some Img.IDs have an internal conflict within themselves in areas that make image an issue before they even enter the Beauty Battle.

Consider the sensitive Img.IDs:

  • Ingénue, the Delicate Beauty, who has a sweet, gentle, youthful appearance and personality. Before any man mistreats her or girlfriend insults her, she already has a conflict going on with her image. Her petite frame and high voice give a false impression that often conflicts with her strong, creative and intellectual character. She has a deep concern for other people, yet her compassion is often belittled and rejected because people assume she is far to young and inexperienced to have anything to offer. When an Ingénue faces a Beauty Battle, she often fights with herself rather than her opponent. A common war plan for this girl is to try to look older and tougher. Unfortunately, this often gets her caught in a cycle of pushing people away and punishing herself as the lies of misunderstanding and rejection go deeper and deeper.
  • Dramatic, the Exotic Beauty, who is enthusiastic and expressive and rather intimidating to those she towers over. Because of her natural inclination to detail, her appearance and work ethic give the impression that she has it all together, but in her striving for excellence she seldom sees herself the way others see her. She sees the fine, unfinished details, others see the finished parts. Unfortunately, she may read the tension others feel around her as their rejection of her.  She is often completely unaware that her high standards are causing the threat. If she does recognize this, she may decide to “play it down” and then find herself feeling restricted and frustrated.
  • Romantic, the Glamorous Beauty, who has a gentle, compassionate appearance and personality. This woman cares deeply about others but has a hard time giving herself the attention she gives others. It’s important to her that others feel comfortable and loved, yet she seldom loves herself, which is (ironically) what often makes others uncomfortable around her.

Consider the combination Img.IDs.

For those whose Img.ID consists of two styles there may be areas where those styles contradict each other causing minor–or major–Image Issues.

Some styles prioritize fashion, others comfort; some peace, others justice; some privacy, others publicity.

I would say it is about half of the women I have analyzed have the Img.ID of one style the other half have two styles and about half of those have a major conflict within those two styles. If this is you, this is no cause for alarm; it only means that you have some self-discovery to do so that you can find peace and learn to blend those two styles in a way that honestly represents your authentic nature.

The Beauty Battle is emotional, spiritual, physical and logical.

It’s no secret that I think a big part of the emotional Beauty Battle is spiritual warfare. I believe that there is an enemy of God who hates the fact that a woman’s beauty is a reflection of Him, so he sets traps before us to make us HATE, HIDE or get HUNG UP on how we look. When we are preoccupied with ourselves, we do not glorify God, we do not find peace and  we do not encourage each other.

It takes time to settle things in your spirit,  but if you are willing to search your soul and learn from those who have gone before you and won the battle,  you can become a woman of Confident Beauty, which is balanced and free.

*****

As an author and speaker, my passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. Please  connect with me on Facebook, Twitter Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads  or consider having me speak at your next event.

Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information. Get catrina’s books on Amazon

Does your Beauty Fit into a Box?

One of the biggest push-backs I get as an image consultant comes from the fear of bing analyzed. It seems that many people assume that being told which style they are is like being put into a box. In truth, however, knowing which “box” you fit into breaks the walls that can hold you back from being true to yourself–like the Ugly Duckling that I blogged about last week.

Many of us are brought up in a culture that confines us to the definition of beauty that our influencers hold us to. It may be that your mom likes things done “properly” but you don’t notice details and feel as if you just didn’t meet the standard set before you.

Maybe you do care about details and love to make things beautiful, but your family does not. Perhaps they belittled you for your concerns and to this day you hold back from being a woman of excellence because you feel as if it is selfish or prideful?

Altering your appearance is exhausting.

Continue reading Does your Beauty Fit into a Box?

Do you Feel Like an Ugly Duckling?

The primary factor in determining your Personal Image Identity (Img.ID) is your physical appearance. Just as a rose by any other name is still a rose, so are you the style of beauty that your physical attributes indicate that you are. Anyone could say that a rose is just a flower, or they could call it ugly, old, deformed or anything else, but it is still a rose.

People may point out your commonality, or they may critique your every attribute, but when you get down to the core of who you are, the truth is, you are beautiful.

Every flower is beautiful, no matter which species, whether it is budding or beginning to dry out. It doesn’t matter its size or color. This is also true of you. You may feel as if you are too old, have gained too much weight, or hate your coloring, but you are still beautiful. People may have told you that your nose is too big or picked on your differences, but focus on anything too closely and you may miss it’s beauty, too. In order to make peace with your beauty, you must take a step back and focus on the bigger picture.  Continue reading Do you Feel Like an Ugly Duckling?

Take this LifeSTYLE Quiz

You are invited to a formal event. How does your heart respond? Some women (and men) enjoy dressing up and socializing. Others feel quite the opposite.

The way you respond to certain lifestyle choices has a lot to say about which style of beauty (or attractive) you are. While your physical attributes are the major indicator of which of the six styles (your personal image identity or Img.ID) you are, your personal preferences are the confirmation. If your physical style does not fall in line with your personal preferences, then you likely have a secondary style or you are in the midst of a Beauty Battle. 

A number of factors come into play when it comes to our personal preferences. The culture, economy and standards of our formative years are certainly strong influences on how we feel about certain lifestyle choices, especially if we have a compliant nature. It is natural to choose that which we are comfortable with, but sometimes we follow the examples set before us without even considering other options because it is all we know.  Continue reading Take this LifeSTYLE Quiz

Are You Stylish?

Stylish, by definition, is trendy, modern, fashionable, sophisticated, elegant, glamorous.

When someone or something is “stylish” it captivates our hearts and attracts our attention. A woman is considered stylish if she follows fashion and gives attention to the details of her makeup, hair and nails. A home is considered stylish if the details and finish are exquisite and up to date.

I submit to you that there are many types of styles and not all of them are high-fashion. Continue reading Are You Stylish?

Making Peace with your Style

When did the quest to find yourself begin? Did you know who you were as a little girl? Did you discover your true identity in High school? Did your passion, purpose and personality suddenly reveal itself, or was it a progressive unveiling?

Who am I?

Most of us question our identity throughout our lives. We begin by roleplaying with our Barbie dolls and continue testing and attempting various attitudes and approaches throughout adolescence. As we try various sports, arts, hobbies and studies. Slowly we discover our likes and dislikes.

As we mature, we learn to relate to others  and begin to solidify our opinions and interests, but many of us continue to “play house” well into the season of managing one for real, because we still have not found peace with our true self. Continue reading Making Peace with your Style

7 Ways to Save Money on Clothing

Autumn is officially upon us and once again we New Englanders find ourselves pulling out last year’s sweaters and boots and squeezing them into our closet full of summer clothing, which we are not yet ready to put away. (After all, this dreadful weather is going to calm and Sunday will be beautiful again!)

Crowded closets cause stress

When clothing is stuffed into small spaces, we are apt to complain that we can’t find anything to wear. For some reason we think that mean we don’t have enough, but in most situations, less would be more. Too many options can overwhelm us; it is far easier to choose from five outfits then from twenty. Continue reading 7 Ways to Save Money on Clothing

Encouragement in an Identity Crisis

This could be a story about you. Perhaps your losing your hair, have a major skin problem, are cross-eyed or confined to a wheelchair. This could be a story about a friend or family member, who’s Image Issue is not outwardly apparent to most, but is weighing on your heart because you know about her eating disorder, gender confusion, substance abuse, self-loathing.

Image Issues are uncomfortable.

Any identity crisis is personal and often very painful–especially while the crisis is active. Difficult times are easier to talk about when they are in the past. In truth, most battles become glamorous stories once time passes and pain subsides. Isn’t this why women tell labor stories when they are around a pregnant woman?

Painful pasts have powerful potential.

Stories of overcoming difficult times are usually helpful to those potentially facing the same problem, but we need to be sensitive about our timing for those actively in the emotional battle.

Broken beauty is still lovely

As an image consultant, I try to make it a point to recognize when a girl or woman may need to hear how beautiful they are. It’s what I do. A direct compliment can be awkward to receive and hearing “you are beautiful!” can throw any woman off-guard. I recently Continue reading Encouragement in an Identity Crisis

What Makes You Valuable?

Since the beginning of time, every young child has had an innate longing to find the answer to one very important question. With each new experience, interaction and lesson of life, she collects data and applies it toward her answer. Somewhere around the teen years, she hits info-overwhelm. Like a cluttered desk, all that she has collected has piled up and she begins to wonder where the truth is. In her frustration and desperation for answers, she may frantically shuffle through the piles–moving papers–setting aside some ideas, destroying others. In her quest to find the answer, she may make a mess, but no matter how long it takes her or how painful it gets, she must know:   Continue reading What Makes You Valuable?

Do Ashes Cover your Beauty?

My nieces were leaning on the edges of their seats, intrigued by the age-old story of Cinderella. My daughter was playing the role of the mistreated orphan who didn’t give up when life dealt her difficulties. Watching her performance through the eyes of the children had me reminiscing of the days when Tori’s  dream of being a princess wasn’t a performance in a play.

Little girls aren’t ashamed of their desires.

Deep within every female heart is a desire not only  to catch the eye of a prince, but to leave behind their meaningless, unappreciated lives and live an adventure.  Remember when you once thought you would  play an irreplaceable role in a most wonderful life in a far away place?

I remember my daughter’s first “princes dress.” She loved to twirl around to show her daddy how  full and beautiful it was on her. It made me panic.

I was afraid my little girl was becoming vain, so I did as most people who witness such behavior would: I talked her right off of her high and mighty horse and back into reality. Modesty is a golden virtue, right?  It’s our job to train our children in the way they should go, and the chances of my kid  becoming a princess is quite slim, so as a mom I thought it wise to protect her from life’s disappointments!

Surely that’s what Cinderella’s stepmother was thinking as well.

As we grow up, we reason that our desires are childish.

I love that my teen still freely enjoys “twirling” for an audience. She has a gift for acting and singing. When I was young, I was embarrassed by my love for the arts. I guess I was more like Cinderella that my daughter is.

“Cinderella, your are so SELFISH! Mend my dress!”

As her family demanded she worked for their dreams–while throwing insults at her’s–Cinderella was forgetting who she was designed to be. Like the filthy soot that covered her beautiful face, she allowed her burnt-out dreams–the cinders–to cover her identity. Her real name was Ella.

We cannot accomplish big dreams with squelched desires

We are all tempted to give up on our dreams. We also  have the option of pressing through life's oppositions  toward success. The way you respond to that second option is a big indicator of your Img.ID:

C: Get the education; do the work (The Classic)

N: Stay optimistic and loyal; don’t give up (The Natural)

D: Creatively make it happen (The Dramatic)

I:  Tenaciously hold your ground (The Ingénue)

R: Considerately continue on; quietly accomplishing (The Romantic)

G: Work hard; fight to get it done. Now. (The Gamine)

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

Whether your dream is to  rule a nation or to have a happy family, you will only have the strength to accomplish it if you do not allow  the desire for it to burn out. Whichever way you or I respond to those who try to squelch our desires, we would all be wise to listen to the advice of the fairy god-mother, who says there are two morals to the story of Cinderella’s Glass Slipper:

  1. Be kinder and life will go well for you. Don’t act out of jealousy or be demanding like the stepsisters. You were dealt a certain hand; play with the cards you have. Forcing others to play your hand or to give your their’s is wrong. In the end, no one who cheats wins.
  2. If the shoe fits, wear it. Don’t cover your beauty with ashes. BE who you were designed to be.  A princess cannot lead well if she feels guilty for (or embarrassed by) her gifts, privileges and abilities.  Remember where you came from, or pride will  rob you of the joy of using your blessing to  bless others.

In the end, Cinderella figured out she was only beautiful when she became confident, so she washed off the ashes and put on her crown. Are you ready to do the same?

For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.  -Luke 12:48b

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

How Rhythm Affects Confidence

Consider the weather patterns and the cycles of seasons. The ocean’s tides ebb and flow aw the moon waxes and wanes. We literally schedule our lives around by the rhythm of nature. If there were ever a pause in the rising or setting of the sun, we would all panic.

It’s not just your surroundings that has rhythms. So does your body. Your breath and heartbeat have patterns; so do your physical needs, such as eating, sleeping and… getting your hair done.
When I worked in the salon, I was always fascinated by the different responses my clients had regarding scheduling their next appointment. I could always count on the Classic and the Gamine to fill my book six weeks out. The others, not so much. The Ingénue and Romantics were concerned someone else might need them and they did not want to say, “no” to anyone (or cancel on me!), so they would  shy away from rescheduling. The Natural doesn’t like to spend money and, to her, haircuts are a frivolous expenses. Besides, they do well with “wash-n-wear” styles that don’t need as much upkeep. The Dramatic, on the other hand, wants another appointment–she loves beauty treatments, but her spontaneous nature doesn’t like being committed to something that might keep her from another opportunity.

Yes, I may be generalizing. Your Img.ID is not the sole factor in how often you get your hair done–life is far more complicated than that–but, still, let’s consider why it’s so hard for most women to schedule time for themselves.


The way you feel about self-care is a big indicator of your Img.ID:

C: It’s necessary, professional and a private matter (Classic)

N: Haircuts are only worth the time or money when it’s necessary and practical (Natural)

D: Style and hygiene are important. Hair is a creative tool of expression. (Dramatic)

I: I love to be creative with my hair myself. There’s no need for someone else to fuss over me. (Ingénue)

R: I’d love to get pampered and made beautiful, but it feels selfish. (Romantic)

G: Maintaining a clean-cut appearance is vital to my identity. I like to have fun with my hair. (Gamine

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

Find your rhythm

As professionals, most hairdressers will suggest another appointment before you check out of the salon. (It helps us to keep working, but more than that, it ensures that the client will be able to secure her favored stylist.) I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had a clients shocked that she needed me exactly when I wanted to schedule her.

If you have long, one length hair, you may be able to stretch out the time between your haircuts, but if you wear your hair with any kind of a style, I would recommend you figure out how often you will need a trim and plan accordingly. Most women need their hair cut every six to eight weeks. If you wear very short hair, then you may need two cuts within that time.

Hair grows. You may not be able to set your clock by the  rhythm of your follicle growth, but you can count on it enough to put some maintenance time in your calendar.

If you struggle with taking time for, or spending money on, your hair, I challenge you to consider your thoughts. Do you also feel guilty when you need to sleep or eat? I hope not! A woman with Confident Beauty knows her needs and takes responsibility for meeting them (including when that means asking for help). I think we could all learn from the rhythms of nature.

We all  take the time to sleep every day. We all buy groceries  every week. And we all have some things we need to take care of every month or so–like a haircut.

Think about it.

When we find the rhythm for taking care of our hair like we do our other cycles, we don’t have to go through the emotional torment of trying to decide if we need or deserve a little salon time  or not. Instead, when our hair starts to frizz or flop, we can rest assured in the confidence that we already have an appointment

No guilt. No shame. No need to justify, excuse or explain. Just pure and simple self-care.

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

4 Steps to Dressing True to You

When you walk into a room which shows up first, you or your clothing?
One way to find out is to listen to the compliments you get. Are about you or your outfit?There’s a big difference between, “You look beautiful!” and “What a beautiful dress!” As women, we enjoy a compliment, and we should. It’s like a hug that simply affirms us and encourages our spirit.

The bearhug of all compliments–the I want for every one of my clients–is: “Oh, wow, that is so YOU!” The wow factor is by far the biggest confidence booster, don’t you think? How often do you get a “wow”?

I’m sorry. I know,  that was a painful question.

I don’t get them very often either, and, hey, I know how to dress true to myself.

shy-863056_640In reality,  it takes a confident, generous person to give away such a valuable thing as words of affirmation–especially when Continue reading 4 Steps to Dressing True to You