Tag Archives: Img.ID

The Mature Classic Woman

By definition, anything classic is the definitive, authoritative, long-lasting example. A Classic wardrobe is exactly that– at least for the professional look–just think of how long the blazer has been in vogue.

If you have a lot of “proper pieces” (fitted jackets and skirts, button down blouses, slacks, basically: business attire) in your closet and they have been there a long time, then you may be a Classic. The simple, traditional style of the Refined Beauty is not greatly inclined to change; neither is her nature.

Because she prefers quality clothing Continue reading The Mature Classic Woman

The Beauty of Self-discipline

Don’t you just admire disciplined women, who guard their schedules and take care of themselves without neglecting their responsibilities? Their home is in order, their finances are planned. They workout, rest well, eat right and take time to play.

And they don’t feel guilty about it.

Who do you know that meets that description? There’s a good chance that person is a Classic or a Gamine–or any style of beauty who is committed to self-improvement.

Self-discipline does not come easily.

The Beauty of Self-discipline Although it looks different to each of us, we all want our lives to be in order. Yet few of us actually get there. According to my own observations, it seems that some personalities struggle with this more than others.

By nature the Classic and the Gamine are simply more organized and task oriented. Some of us admire self-discipline; these girls desire it. This  is why they often attain it quicker than the rest of us.

Truth be told, in the end, we each do what we really want in life. Continue reading The Beauty of Self-discipline

How Confidence and Beauty Intertwine

  • When a woman believes she looks beautiful, she feels confident.
  • When a woman is confident, she radiates beauty.

It really doesn’t matter which style she is nor how tall, slim or old she is. The color of her eyes, hair or skin do not change the fact, nor does her nationality, upbringing or experiences in life.

A woman’s beauty is far more about what she believes than what she wears.

  • A young, buff, high-fashioned, fully-serviced diva who is mean and rude is not beautiful at all.
  • An old, wrinkled, out of shape, compassionate woman of wisdom is absolutely lovely.
  • A supermodel who hates herself is not beautiful.
  • An abused and neglected woman with strength and hope is stunning and inspiring.

I’ve spent 30 years teaching women and girls how to accentuate their beauty–that’s easy. Guiding her through Image Issues is not–mostly because it is so rare that she wants to deal with the mirror and the soul at the same time.

  • A girl who feels ugly, unwanted, invisible and inadequate may strive to perfect her image, or she may loose all confidence of ever being beautiful.
  • A girl who feels her image is her worth may strive to keep her confidence with beauty which is never satisfied and constantly changing. Or she may hate the attention she attracts and the pain beauty causes.

These women either love me (as an image coach) or avoid me because beauty can be a painful and embarrassing topic.

Confident Beauty is not found in the mirror until it is settled in the soul.

It takes a brave and mature woman to Continue reading How Confidence and Beauty Intertwine

New Year, New You… Or Not.

Before the clock sticks midnight, how many goals and resolutions will you have set?

The pressure’s on. There’s a fresh, clean calendar in your hand; a chance to start over, reset, begin again. So, what’s your plan?

For many of us, as much as the new year represents a clean slate, it also embodies the unorganized, messy, out of control, old slate of years gone by. Every year we set new goals, and we start the first month with great ambitions and high hopes only to quickly return to our typical MO (Modus Operandi–or default-mode). I cannot tell you how many times I have quickly filled my new calendar with intentions and ambitions only to stress myself out with too much to do. If I did it all I would feel resentful toward those who had an easier schedule. If I didn’t do it all I’d feel the guilt of not accomplishing what I said I would (often only to myself!)

If I am not busy I feel as if I am not important.

The schedule was always a big one for me because a lot of my identity was wrapped up in my busyness. How about you; what’s your “big one”? What makes you feel important, successful, valuable? Chances are it’s more than one thing that drives you–popularity, achievement, appearance, health, strength, financial freedom, these are all areas we all want to do well in–but is there one or two that trip you up?

The core desire of your New Years Resolutions is a big indicator of your Img.ID:

agenda-1928416_640C: Success (The Classic tends to be driven by achievement; her goals often reflect her great ambitions with work or education.)

N: Practical (To the Natural desires simplicity, her goals may not look any different now than they did six months ago, but likely she is slowly and consistently still going after them.)

D: Relational (The Dramatic typically wants to be surrounded by people, but her private nature makes it hard for her to feel close to others, making relationships an important goal)

I: Personal (The Ingénue is often hard on herself and her goals reflect great ambitions to improve her already beautiful character.)

R: Compassion (The Romantic is often so focused on others that even her goals are about helping someone else.)

G: Fun (The Gamine is a high achiever and already ambitious at work, her goals are often about loosing up and having fun for a change.) 

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

It took me a long time to recognized that the way I handled my schedule was actually a major Confidence Conflict. I would literally become anxious when  something would cancel in my schedule. Instead of pausing to catch my breath, I would hustle in a panic. I wanted to use my time wisely but there was so many demands I couldn’t decide which to do. It wasn’t as obvious when I had children at home, but once I was alone in my anxiety I couldn’t deny that I was afraid to slow down. I began to ask myself why free time stressed me out.

Sometimes we play mind games with ourselves. 

No matter what we value, if we feel we do not deserve it, then we may subconsciously sabotage our chance to achieve it.

I began to plan out every minute of my day–even down time–yet wouldn’t follow the plan because, in reality, I valued a balanced life, but felt I could never do enough to actually deserve it. I was manipulating my own mind in order to feel like I was going after my goals but in reality I was only frustrating myself.

As we start this new year, would you join me in laying aside resolutions to do better? Yes, looking good, having friends, being successful, enjoying down time, these are all valuable ambitions, but if we do not feel we deserve them, we will never allow our heart to want them. And in the end we really only do what we want. This year I don’t want to do better with my schedule. I want to do better at being honest with myself because I know now that in order to change my ways, I need to understand and love myself better. In doing so, I will understand and love others better, and what can be a better resolution than that?

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

3 Rules for Dressing Up

“Tis the season for family gatherings and celebrations. With all the parties to attend, Image Issues easily arise. In order to feel confident at the festivities you attend, here are three general rules for What2Wear:

  • Know the formality

girl-775342_640Perhaps you have faced this Confidence Conflict: You thought the party was formal, so you show up all decked out, only to find your friends in jeans and tees. You feel like a fool, as if you were trying to demand attention; a show off. A Drama Queen. (Yea, this happens to the Dramatic, the Exotic Beauty, quite often.)

Or perhaps it was the other way around, and you under-dressed for a more formal event. This is just as awkward (this is more apt to happen to the Natural, the Casual Beauty or the Gamine, the Bold Beauty).

To avoid the uncomfortable feeling of not fitting in, know the formality

Continue reading 3 Rules for Dressing Up

The Secret to Decorating your Home for the Holidays

As you surf you social medias for ideas and inspiration to decorate your home, are you feeling pressured an overwhelmed by all the alternatives? Dressing your home can be just as intimidating as creating a beautiful wardrobe.

It can also be just as empowering.

Like Goldilocks, we may not know exactly what we want, but once we try it out, we are certain if it is “too hard” or “too soft.” It takes most of us many years of testing and trying before we find the style that is “just right” but once we do–wether it’s the style of our home or our clothing–we discover a certain peace and power that can be summed up in one word: CONFIDENCE.

You know when you meet a woman with confidence. She isn’t shy or timid, but she isn’t threatening or condescending, either. She isn’t showing off, nor is she hiding because she isn’t concerned with your thoughts about her. She is simply at peace with herself and that makes you feel at peace around her.

You know when you enter the home of a woman with confidence because you feel the same thing: peace. As you look around at how she has decorated her personal space, you understand her more. Whether it is open and inviting or quaint and intimate, her home (just like her wardrobe) should indicate her personality. If her style contradicts her character, her guests will not feel at ease in her home.

The secret is knowing who you are.

As you have been scrolling through Pintrest, how many times have you said, “I love that. But it’s not me.” You know you have found a style that suits you well when your heart jumps and you say, “oh, wow, that’s nice! I want to do that.” Once you find that perfect fit, the feeling of overwhelm drops and confidence rises up in you, empowering you with a peace that is able to enjoy other styles because it has found its own.

 

The style that makes your heart jump is a big indicator of your personal Image Identity:
imagejpeg_0-2C: Elegant, traditional (The Classic)

N: Rustic, simple (To the Natural)

D: Extravagant, exotic (The Dramatic)

I: Sentimental, sweet (The Ingénue)

R: Welcoming, nostalgic (The Romantic)

G: Fun, festive (The Gamine) 

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear, also, find me on Pinterest (I have one board for each of the 6 Img.IDs).

As you prepare to decorate your home for the holidays, remember that it takes time to discover your personal style (or “Img.ID”), so enjoy the process. We all start out like Goldilocks, testing and tasting everyone else’s style until we find our own, but we don’t have to be invasive or obsessive like she was by trespassing (thanks, Pinterest!). As your personal Img.ID is being slowly unveiled, be careful not to let your heart be stressed and striving. When you go to a house party this season, enjoy getting to know the host by observing the style of decorations. As you understand yourself more, you will be released from the trap of comparison. After all, if a rude and critical intruder can fall asleep in the home of three bears in the woods, then you, too, can let your guard down and rest in the home of another confident woman, because you will be one as well.

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

 

Are you Thankful for Your Beauty?

A woman’s home is a big indication of her heart.

My husband’s company just finished a small development of quaint, custom homes in the same village where he has been building elaborate masterpieces for many years. This was our first time doing a whole neighborhood and I found the social dynamics very interesting. Because a woman’s home is a significant part of her identity, I feel it an appropriate topic for a blog on Confident Beauty.

You were custom built.

Some developments are cookie-cutter; each house is the same style. In our development there are six different styles. Because there are only eleven homes and the styles which are duplicated are either mirrored, turned or altered in some way, none of them look alike. Whether the house was purchased before, during or after completion, each home has details that are crafted specifically for the homeowner, increasing the variety even more.

There are only six different styles of feminine beauty and yet no two women are alike. You may be a short, full-figured, curly-hair blonde with a round face, blue eyes and a button nose, but that doesn’t mean you look anything like another woman of the same description. This is because Continue reading Are you Thankful for Your Beauty?

Acting Out Life’s Drama with Confident Faith

Whenever we face a personal crisis, it will become a public matter. The bigger the crisis, the broader the audience of eyes watching our drama. This is part of living in a news-driven, gossip-seeking society.

It’s also part of being human.

When I was going through my divorce, I hated this fact of life. It felt like criticism and condemnation. Human nature tends to feel the need to judge our mess, choose what they believe and pick a side, often without reconsidering the first story they heard.

When I lost my daughter, I eventually embraced the idea of having so many people watching our story because I knew that they loved and supported us. There was no judgment to be made–except by those who wanted to blame God, but few spoke to us that way since it was so obvious that God and His people were the ones carrying us through and giving us strength.

When my son’s addiction first came to light, I feared the fact that others were talking about it and watching us. Fear is not healthy or empowering; it is destructive and disabling. In may ways, the fear made the problem even worse.

Critical eyeToday’s drug issues are not as much of a stigmatism as they were five years ago, but the fear still runs rampant. Last week I blogged about the various ways we handle life’s ugly pits. Because of the responses I got, I know I need to continue on this scary journey of being vulnerable with my mess so that We all remember we are not alone.

People will always judge.

Don’t let the fear of someone else’s opinion rob your strength; choose to let it empower you. Consider what people say. If you see any truth in it, then bravely deal with it. Have a grateful heart; someone cared enough to speak up. No matter what their attitude was, their vision can broaden yours–if you chose not to allow pride blind you.

Let go of all the parts that are not true.

If they are completely wrong and rude, do not waist any more time or strength on their opinion. Let your frustration empower you to do what you need to do to deal with your crisis.

People will always watch.

Don’t let your audience give you stage fright, choose to keep preforming. Not to say that you are putting on an act, but there are times when life is so hard that you must simply keep going through the motions. That can be extra difficult when others are observing your every move.

Be confident and do it anyway.

When we first found out that Rebecca would not live long, we were helping to lead a youth group. The kids and their parents were devastated, of course. We understood their horror at our news, but were confused by the response we received.

What do people say when they watch you in a crisis?

C: “You are so in control.”

N: “You are so calm.”

D: “You are so strong.”

I: “I am so sorry, can I help?”

R: “Are you ok? Please let me help.”

G: “I’m sorry.”

Click the letter of the response you typically get to see if it may be an indication of your personal Img.ID  For more, search your Img.ID on my website.

Some of our messes are so ugly that those watching are uncomfortable.

Because of the innate nature to judge others, it’s only natural for people around us to try to read how we are doing and respond accordingly. The most common response my husband and I got with the news that Rebecca had Trisomy 18 was, “You are handling it so well.” Which was actually quite frustrating since we felt as if we couldn’t handle it at all! (I didn’t quite understand then that, as a Dramatic, I looked stronger than I actually was.)

 

I remember pouring out my frustration in prayer one day and feeling as if God literally spoke to my heart, “Catrina, I know it feels like they are judging you again, but you are judging them as well. They are not excusing themselves from helping you by assuming you are fine. They are misreading you. Show them your heart; and judge only their heart–not the awkward words they use to try to express their desire to be a part of your crisis.”

Embracing the stage.

If you are struggling with the fact that others are observing your personal drama, I encourage you to turn to the Director. God understands all the details, including what you (and others!) are feeling. If He has allowed a crisis into your life, then I have to believe that He thinks you can handle the stage. Don’t loose focus of your part in the play for fear of the critics.

Let’s not put on an act for those watching our crisis. Instead, let’s put on the garment of Confident Faith and BE and LET BE.

Are you in an Ugly Pit?

How I have longed for confidence and beauty this past couple of weeks while ensnared in so much ugliness. Death, destruction and disappointment have presented themselves to me in so many ways and fear has grasped ahold of my heart stifling my ability to blog or even reason.

A mamma is only as happy as her most miserable child. 

I was really hoping I would never have to live the miserable-mamma-mode again. I spent too many years of my life in obsession over the details of my children’s lives, but I suppose it’s just part of the territory we gain with conception.

Obsession: It’s not a bad thing.  It is a good and necessary thing to be consumed with the life we are responsible for. After all, if a mom isn’t obsessed about her baby’s needs, then how will that child survive? It’s only natural that our very identity can become wrapped up in our children.

A mama is who we are.

Our children are our pride and joy. As they learn to communicate and care for themselves, their dependency on us slowly weans away. Eventually they learn to make their own choices and even support themselves financially. A mamma’s responsibility to her child is naturally weaned away as well. Her identity, however, doesn’t just dissolve. We must choose to let go of who we were with each progression our dependents make–no wonder that there’s so many difficult seasons of pushing and pulling!

A mama is not all we are.

boy-1149957_640 Throughout my son’s addiction there have been many power struggles, especially before the actual problem came to the surface. Raising kids is confusing enough, but add the mind-altering, emotional rollercoaster that drugs bring to it and it’s extra difficult to decipher between meeting true needs and enabling the demanding manipulation. I personally shut down. My body literally became numb as I tried to convince myself that this could not possibly be my reality. I didn’t know who I was anymore and I began neglecting myself, my family and my relationships. It took me a long time to wake up to the fact that I, too, was acting dysfunctional.

It’s painful to see our children make bad choices, but like the pain of childbirth, we must push through it. In the beginning of my son’s love affair with heroin, I was very naive to what was going on and the fact that I simply couldn’t believe it only gave it more power over me. I fell back into the ugly pit of despair two weeks ago when my boy returned to his habit, but I don’t want to stay there! This is why I am finally blogging about it. There’s too many of us mammas silently striving to survive. We need each other.  If I have learned anything from the past several times I have been in this crisis, it is that I am of no use to anyone when I’m an ugly mess. I must be strong and confident. If I expect my boy to get out of his trap, I must get out of mine.

How do you cope when your kid makes poor choices?

C:  Reason with him, lecture him; Classics wants others to be in control, like they are.

N: Keep the peace, stay neutral; Naturals tend to make problems no big deal.

D: Shut down, take it personally; Dramatics appear to be unconcerned, but are very sensitive. 

I: Comfort him, believe in him; Ingénues are very empathetic.

R: Feel his pain, try to fix it; Romantics are very sympathetic and self-sacrificial.

G: Discipline him or the one you blame; Gamines tend to take charge of any problem. 

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

Know Who You Are. If you are a mother in despair it’s important to first remember that no one can take your identity away. You will always be your child’s mom. We must be careful not to allow outside influences (Including our child’s manipulative ways) to pressure us to step outside our role. There will be times when our kids don’t like us. That’s ok. We are not called to be their friend. They have plenty of friends; we are their only mom. No one has more vested interest in them than we do. We must be strong and balanced in our role of nurturing, guiding, disciplining and encouraging. Let’s not let our concern for them get in the way of our responsibility to train them in the way they should go.

If your years of training have past (as mine have), then let us remember that we each have our own identity and the right to make our own choices. Our adult child’s choices are not our identity. This week, let’s all put on the garment of Confident Beauty, which trust that God is bigger than any ugly pit we are in and He is able to change it for our good and His glory!

He has made everything beautiful in its time.
He has also set eternity in the human heart;
yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11 

*****

As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teaching them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider having her as a speaker for your next event. You can find her on FacebookTwitter, PinterestLinked InGoodreads.

3 Guidelines for Choosing the Right Shoe

Your shoes make or break your outfit.

I cannot tell you how many times I have had a friend or client call in a panic over how to complete the outfit she has chosen for a formal affair. Perhaps you have been there yourself: you found the perfect dress and figured the shoes in your closet would be just fine but now you put it all together and it simply doesn’t work.

Subconsciously, we all know that the style, weight, texture and color of the shoe should always compliment the outfit, but we until we see them together, our mind’s eye may think the new dress will work out well with what already have. Yet far too often we are wrong and if we don’t try them on together until the big day, we may very well have a serious Image Issue on our hands.

This is one of the reasons understanding your style and coloring can save you a lot of trouble. If you always follow the guidelines for your Image Identity, you will almost always find that each item you add to your closet works well with the rest of it. This is not reality, however, even for those of us who are pretty strict about staying true to our authentic style.

You could be as careful about your choices in style as an image consultant is, yet still find that a special occasion needs special attention to detail when it comes to finding the right shoe. This makes sense, of course, because if the outfit is not something you wear every day, why should you expect it to work well with the shoes you wear everyday? Here are three important details you should consider when choosing a shoe for a special outfit:

  1. The formality: a gown deserves a heel. A dressy outfit deserves more than a sneaker. Not much needs to be said here; most people know not to wear their slippers on a date.
  2. The weight and texture of your shoe should always compliment the fabric in the clothes you are wearing. A heavy jean can carry a heavy leather, but wear a light, lacy dress with a heavy boot and you will make a conflictive statement about who you are–unless, of course, you are an eccentric combination of the casual and delicate beauties.
  3. The color: always choose a shoe that is darker than your hemline for formal occasions–unless you want all the attention drawn to your foot, which you very well may want to.

Always remember that image guidelines are just that, a guide. Like the yellow lines that guide your driving, there are times when it is perfectly fine to break the rules, but when you do, be sure you are intentionally making that choice in order to make a statement and that you are comfortable with the attention it brings.

Your shoe preference is a big indicator of your Img.ID:
img_0078
C:  Quality (The Classic holds onto her shoes for many years.)

N: Practical (To the Natural, comfort is far more important than style.)

D: Style (The Dramatic likes to stay current with fashion.)

I: Femininity (The Ingénue loves dainty shoes.)
R: Quantity (The Romantic loves heels but seldom actually wears them.)

G: Fun (The Gamine prefers comfort, but should be sure her shoes make a statement.) 

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

 

In general, it is good to know #What2Wear, not so that we stress out about following rules, but so that we don’t become overwhelmed by all the options available to us. For those times when you find a shoe that you just have to wear–no matter what your guidelines say–consider them your “statement piece.” There’s only so many personalities that are comfortable with making a statement, but if that’s you, make sure you do it with confidence, after all, confidence, not guidelines, is what makes a woman beautiful!

For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.   -Ephesians 6:15

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As an “Image consultant without the shopping obsession,” I help women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teach them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others. Please consider me as a speaker for your next event. You can find me on FacebookTwitterLinked InGoodreads. For ideas of What2Wear, find me on Pinterest where I have a board for each personal Img.ID or consider reading Confident Beauty or Know Who You Are.