When I’m stressed, I shut down and shut up.
The term tongue-tied may mean one thing to you, but to me, it is a perfect metaphor for how I feel when I am hurting. Even when I want to talk, the words are held captive. It doesn’t matter how quiet I am, however, my body language still speaks loudly. Usually what it’s saying is,
“Leave me alone!”
And then I feel hurt when people avoid me–especially my husband, of course. I want others to read my mind not my face. I want them to ask and then wait (a really long time if necessary). Then I want them to judge my heart and not my confusing words. And I want them to be on my side, even if they have a completely opposing opinion.
I want, I want, I want.
When we are stressed, we are selfish.
Continue reading 3 Tips for Handling Stay at Home Stress
I grew up in an extravagant home on Cape Cod. When I was eleven, my family made a major change and pursued a secluded life in Maine. The adventure in the deep woods without the luxuries we were used to reformed the character of each of us. Since we had nothing and knew no one, we cultivated tight and true relationships with one another. It was then that our faith became a true and important part of our lives.
I suppose, in a way, we were self-quarantined. Continue reading Confidently Content
There is a secret battle that wages in every human heart.
Secret because we don’t want to talk about it. And secret because the silence makes us feel so alone in the fight. But we are not alone! The war for a healthy self-image may hit us socially, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, (you name it). There will be some area of our lives that each of us will feel that we are not enough–or that we are too much. Our confidence will be attacked in one way or another. Like arrows shot from an enemy, the attack may be harsh words from a close friend, or the rude attitude of stranger. It could be a simple failure and our own thoughts that knocks our confidence to the pit.
Self-talk is the key to winning the battle
Many Christians make it a habit to “pray-on the full armor of God” in order to prepare for such battles. As we get dressed, we ask God to give us the “breastplate of Righteousness” knowing that our King’s emblem is our true identity and that His goodness covers our failures and protects all our heart. We imagine securing the “belt of Truth,” as we trust that His promises are real, and He is greater than our fear. As we put on our shoes, we ask to be equipped to run, walk, stand, whatever His will, and that He will lead us with His peace. Before we start our day, we take up the “shield of faith,” knowing that fiery darts will come, but God is still who He says He is and He equips us to be more than conquerors. But victory doesn’t just come to those who believe, we must fight for what we believe. We must take the “sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God” and use it. (Ephesians 6)
Becoming warrior women who are confident (and beautiful!) is an adventure.
Continue reading Here’s How Wearing a Hat Can Help you Defeat Depression
Most women don’t have Confident Beauty because they compare themselves to other styles, but if you have ever been mistreated because of your appearance, you know that Image Issues are more complicated than that, because BEAUTY IS DANGEROUS.
Beauty is dangerous when it defeats us.
Maybe you HATE how you look because you compare your beauty to the models in the media and you feel you don’t measure up. Maybe men have been mean to you or taken advantage of your body. Perhaps it’s women who have mistreated you and tried to demean your beauty so that they feel better about themselves. Continue reading 3 Reasons Beauty is Dangerous
This is school vacation week in New England. Many families are getting away for a time of refreshing and renewal. A break from the bitter cold and brutal winds can give us strength to continue to endure our harsh winters.
It’s not a bad idea to get a break from a mild winter like this one, either.
Vacations are refreshing, healing, comforting, why? Typically, it’s not just the break in routine that gives strength to the soul. Often it is the beauty that we surround ourselves with when we get away.
Snow laden ski slopes.
Palm trees swaying in the gentle breeze.
Children laughing on the playgrounds.
Continue reading The Power of Beauty
I suppose there will always be times in life when our confidence is under attack (especially when is your main ministry topic), but I feel like I’m “under gun” in every direction right now.
With the challenges that lie before me, I have become aware of one common denominator that seems to be the secret to overcoming all sorts of Confidence Conflicts: Continue reading The Secret to Being Confident
As a woman who has faced many storms in life, I am often asked, “If God is so good, why doesn’t He keep you from these difficult circumstances?” My answer is, “He is so good that He keeps me through them.”
Storm: a disturbed state of environment, marked by significant disruptions to normal conditions. A center of low pressure w/ system of high pressure surrounding it. Opposing forces create stormy weather.
Why should any of us think that life is not fair because there is a significant disruption in our environment? In my experience, the more turbulent a storm, the deeper my faith has grown.
There is a certain sweetness that builds when we face difficulties without casting blame or comparing circumstances.
Continue reading Finding Hope in Difficult Times
There is a balance between self-care and selfishness. Finding this balance will likely always be a challenge for most of us. I’m fifty-two years old, yet I, too, often feel the guilt of taking time for myself, especially now that I have slipped back into a self-sacrificing mommy mode.
The “mommy-mode” of always putting others first is actually a beautiful thing when our heart is right.
To be “others-conscious” and put our family’s needs above our own is sweet and honorable.
As long as our heart is.
Since my last post, I have been swept up in a tornado of drama and difficulties that tend to consume those of us who love an addict. The chaos and confusion isn’t new to me, but over the past years of my son’s addiction, I’ve found a way to continue with most aspects of my own life, no matter how out of control his was. This time, however, Continue reading Finding Balance When Life Changes
With the first hospital visit, adults begin “speaking life” over your baby:
He’s so big!
As children grow, we naturally announce and affirm each progression of their development:
Look how he holds his head up.
She took her first step!
A healthy self-esteem is encouraged.
Every child comes into this world with the need to know their worth and understand their purpose. Naturally, they find their answers (right or wrong) from their environment and the things we teach them.
If you have a healthy self-image then you will be better equipped to help your children avoid Image Issues.
But not necessarily. Continue reading Raising Confident Kids
With my last child leaving the nest and a granddaughter on the way, I am often told that it is more fun to be a grandmother than a mom.
Mothers typically find their identity in their relationships–especially with their children.
I’ve gained three important insights on motherhood:
- Moms have tremendous influence on the life of a child. Our kids lives are swayed by our faith, opinions, perspectives and words. A child whose mom believes in her is more than a conqueror. A child whose mom condemns her will struggle with self-esteem.
- Moms have little power over the way they interpret that influence. Children will interpret your heart according to theirs. We say, “Clean your room, honey.” They may hear, “You’re such a slob!” or “I need to do better to be loved.” It is vital that we understand our strengths and weaknesses and study them as individuals so that we can train them in the way they should go.
- It is very important that we know who we are and take our role seriously. There will be times when parenting is the hardest “career” on earth, changing jobs is not an option. No matter how difficult the relationship may get, we must continue to be the best mom we can be. As they grow up, we are no longer responsible for their choices, but we will always be responsible for how we treat them.
Our challenges with motherhood Continue reading Is it Better to Be a Good Mother or a Grand Mother?
Recently, I was asked to give a thirty-second synopsis of what I have learned about:
The Key to being successful as a creative.
I wanted to laugh and reply with the very same question to the one who was asking me! Thankfully, I had a moment to recognized that my initial response before I had to reply. By comparing my interviewer’s perspective of my success with my not-so-beautiful-reality (and my perspective of his social media posts to what may not be as amazing as his reality) I was falling into the trap of comparison, the very thing we each must each overcome in order to become “successful” at anything.
Success is different to each of us, but wether our goal is to sell our craft, perform on stage, build a business or launch our children out into the great big world, we need one thing to succeed: Continue reading 3 Reasons Confidence will Help you Succeed
Today would have been my baby girl’s twentieth birthday. With each year since her passing, we think of all the milestones she would have accomplished had we been granted the privilege of raising her into adulthood like our other children. It’s hard to imagine Rebecca as anything except a beautiful, delicate newborn.
Her fifth birthday was the hardest. The thought of her being old enough to go to kindergarten felt like grief all over again. Suddenly, remembering her as a baby felt like a violation to reality. This birthday is another painful one. Continue reading How Grief Taught me Joy