Tag Archives: peace

You are the Apple of God’s Eye

If there is anything that can frustrate a person and draw out their truest character, it is misjudgment. Tell a friend you think they are being so kind and generous because they want something from you, discipline a child for something their sibling did, challenge a professional with the accusation that they don’t know what they are doing, and you will see the heart of that person right away.

We all have a desire to be accepted. 

Misjudgment is often interpreted as deep rejection. Especially by those of us who are sensitive beauties. Let’s take Hannah for example.

You find the story of this Dramatic woman in the Old Testament, when it wasn’t uncommon for a man to have more than one wife–especially if his first wife was infertile. Well, that was Hannah. Her husband loved her, but I can’t imagine she didn’t have to fight a huge Beauty Battle to believe that.

Infertility alone will challenge any woman’s confidence. Add to this girl’s challenge Continue reading You are the Apple of God’s Eye

Confidence vs. Independence. 

One of the greatest Confidence Conflicts a woman faces is in witnessing her children’s growing independence. A mamma’s heart is knit so closely to her child that with each stage of his maturing her heart feels a painful tearing as he needs her less and less.

This heartache don’t only happen with our children’s independence; it could be any relationship. It feels good to be needed, but if our significance is built on someone else’s dependency, our confidence will be crushed when they no longer need us.

Without Independence, we lack confidence.

Think of the pride that beams from a child when he can say, “I did it myself!” Independence creates confidence for the one maturing, but it can challenge the confidence of the one who isn’t needed as much. You know you are bing challenged if you feel you must remind your loved ones that you taught them everything they know, or that they wouldn’t have made it this far without you.

Without confidence we lack independence

When a child learns to walk, a confident mother will help him get his balance and release him to step out on his own. If she is lacking in confidence, she will hover over him with every step. Our own insecurities can rob our children of the joy of independence and create a fear of stepping out on their own… or a rebellious determination to achieve independence whether we like it or not.  Continue reading Confidence vs. Independence. 

3 Methods of Managing Stress Confidently

Summer is officially here. School’s out, kids are home, trips are being planned, company is coming… there’s more daylight in our busy days, so why not do more, right? As a Native Cape Codder, I always keep a bathing suit and towel in the trunk of my car during the summer–just in case there’s a moment between work and errands to grab some quick “beach therapy.” It doesn’t take long to get my “fix” a 10 minute walk or 20 minutes of gauzing on the beauty of our shores refuels my fire like nothing else.

How about you, how do you find peace when you are overwhelmed or stressed out?

Some women take charge.  Continue reading 3 Methods of Managing Stress Confidently

5 Lessons from a Boat Wreck

We were enjoying a beautiful brunch overlooking the deep Caribbean Sea when suddenly the cruise ship began to shake with the force of an unanticipated change in speed and direction. It seemed as though something was wrong, but as we looked around the other guests didn’t seem concerned.

“Is that a buoy out there?” I asked my husband regarding the rather large white object out in the middle of nowhere. “Perhaps we did have to make a turn after all.” That’s when the Captain’s voice came over the intercom telling us that we had just navigated around a boat wreck, that the Coast Guard had rescued all the passengers and that our voyage would continue as planned.

Yikes! We weren’t crazy, but I wanted to know the details! It was a beautiful, clear day, what on Earth caused a boat wreck? Was anyone hurt? What happens to that family now? Did they loose everything? Were they blaming each other, or were they celebrating their rescue?

Of course, without any involvement in the situation, there was no way to know. So we continued with our romantic get away.

let it go

If you have ever experienced a tragedy in life, you know how curious people get. It’s none of their business, but they want to know the details. This can be hard to accept when you are hurting, but it does no good to be offended by it. Nor does it help to be hurt when others continue with their lives while we are a wreck, because although they wonder (and may even talk about us), most people don’t know how to ask or get involved.

As I watched that big, white “buoy” sink into the deep blue sea, I couldn’t help but think that there is a lot we can learn from a boat wreck:

  1. It doesn’t matter what caused the problem, if you are taking on water, it’s time to deal with it.
  2. No matter whose fault it is, everyone onboard is affected, and it’s best to help each other.
  3. There is only so much you can do yourself, if you are starting to go under, it is time to call out for help.
  4. Forget about who is watching or how other vessels may be affected; they each have a captain, and he will get them back on their merry way. Deal with the important issues.
  5. Let it go. After you have done what you can, relinquish the regrets and results. You will always have your story to tell, but what was lost to the ocean floor should not have the power to control that which was not.

It’s not everyday that we enjoy the luxury of a cruise ship. But no matter how we are navigating the sea of life, it is important to remember that there is always a professional at the helm when we relinquish our will to God’s and we are wise not to panic, but to trust Him to get us back on course.

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As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads and consider having her speak at your next event.

A Woman’s Right to be Beautiful

Boys want to be strong. This is a well known and accepted fact of life. It is socially appropriate to encourage a boy to develop his strength as he becomes a man. We don’t condemn a grown man for this core desire. In fact, we are wise women if we allow our husbands and boys opportunities to play their sports and have their competitions because using their strength brings out the best in them. If we deny them their physical activity we take away the outlet for their stress.

little girl playing dress upGirls want to be pretty. This is a well known fact that is not so acceptable. When a little girl wants to develop her beauty, we quince and tell her to stop being so self-centered. When grown women feel stressed and need an outlet, they long for a spa treatment. But do they go? Well, only her hairdresser knows for sure because even if she does pamper herself, she’s too embarrassed to tell you because of the guilt she feels.

The media encourages women to indulge in their core desire for beauty, but society does not. Our husbands would love us to be as cute as the girls in the commercials, but they don’t understand our need for spa time any more than we do their silly games. Yet most men go play their sports wether their wives like it or not–and they encourage each other to play as well. Women, on the other hand, must wrestle with shame in order to enjoy a facial, manicure or new outfit because we have believed the lie that beauty is selfishness. To make matters worse, we fan the flame of that confidence-consuming lie by denying that we care about looking lovely, leaving each of us feeling as if we are completely alone with our need for affirmation. Our greatest defense is to pretend none of it matters. Beauty is child’s play.

We are pressured to obtain beauty, but discouraged from developing it. I was recently asked to speak to a group of teens who were preparing for a formal event. I had very little time and there was no warm-up to prepare the girls for the sensitive topic of Confident Beauty. Their response was intense. When I told them that they were each beautiful, they literally got angry. “No, I’m not!” was proclaimed by many of them in unison, while others rolled their eyes, laughed or dropped their faces.

Obviously, they were battling with their heart’s desire.

After speaking to the girls, I was asked to address the boys in a separate room. The difference in their response was absolutely amazing to me, although I was far from shocked since this is what I deal with on a regular basis. At first the boys were laid back and a bit board, but they suddenly became extremely interested. In fact, they had many questions and even wanted to know their Image Identity. I loved it!

The transition in their interest happened when I told them what I just communicated to you in the first two paragraphs of this blog. Several jaws dropped while they listened. This was something they had never considered before. “Think about it,” I challenged them, “if a girl puts in no effort to be beautiful, what are they? Ugly? And if they put in any effort to be beautiful, what are they? Vain? It’s not an easy thing for girls to find the balance. Cut them a break and don’t make them feel bad while they try to work it out.”

I wasn’t able to help the girls find the balance of Confident Beauty that day. In fact, I really only touched the raw wounds that they are still learning how to guard. It breaks my heart to know that most of them will end up hating, hiding or being hung up on their appearance.  I can only hope that the boys they hang around now understand them a little more and will begin to give them permission to BE who they were designed to be. If not, I’m sure they will find a way to pretend it’s no big deal, just like the rest of us.

Perhaps the next women’s rights movement should liberate us to enjoy beauty. Imagine a world where women no longer felt guilty about taking care of themselves and little girls were longer squelched from twirling their dresses and asking for attention. I wonder if the teens in that world would be comfortable with who they are? I wonder if grown women would allow aging to be a part of their beauty and no longer be afraid of it. I doubt any of this will ever happen until we accept that the longing for beauty is not selfish. It is our outlet.

Of course, if we start letting each other enjoy beauty, we should probably start letting our men enjoy their sports, too.

Just saying.

*****

Catrina Welch, Author, Speaker: “I’m an Image consultant without the shopping obsession. I help women and girls overcome confidence conflicts by unveiling the power and purpose of their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and teaching them to accentuate their authentic beauty so they can forget about their appearance and think about others.” Please consider me as a speaker for your next event. You can find my website at www.CatrinaWelch.com or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Linked In, YoutubeGoodreads.

A Mother is Only as Happy as Her Most Miserable Child.

The moment a woman becomes a mother, her life changes.  The very thought of life within her alters her existence. Caring for, nurturing and meeting the needs of her child becomes her purpose and priority. With the cry of his arrival, her needs no longer bear weight compared to his. Whether it’s the dark of night or the dawn of day, every tear he sheds arrests her heart until she can settle him down..

newborn-659685_640Every parent wants their offspring to become healthy, successful, independent men and women of good character. We may not have the best of resources ourselves, but we do the best we can with the physical, emotional and financial strength that we have to offer.

Like delivering them into the world, sending them out on their own can be extremely painful–especially when they are unhappy or unhealthy.

When my first child moved out, he was not a happy young man. My mama-heart received his anger and rebellion as personal rejection and failure. Granted, there were drugs involved, and I was very naive to the depth of the problems, so the emotional turmoil was extra intense. Part of me was refusing to believe that so much could be going wrong in the life of a child I had such high hopes for. The other part of me was tormented by my lack of control over the choices that were being made and my inability to fix–or even understand–the issues.

I became just as miserable as he was.

In fact, I became so consumed with this one child’s issues that I wouldn’t even hear my other children speaking to me. “What did you say?” I’d ask them until eventually they started saying “never mind” before they even finished their requests.  I was neglecting the kids I had left at home for the sake of the one who wanted nothing to do with me. And to what avail? My obsession with the miserable child was producing nothing except more misery.

I had to learn to let go of control because in reality, I had none.

I share this story with you on Mother’s Day weekend simply because I know many of you also suffer with obsession over your grown child’s choices. When they are little, we  don’t need a special holiday to tell us we are amazing. (We know we are because we wipe their tears and change their diapers and make everything better again!) But as they fight for their own identity, we feel as if we lose our own.  It’s during  these times that we could really use a little Mother’s Day love, yet these are the times that it’s least likely they will be making us cute cards and placing wilted flowers on our pillows.


If that’s where you are at today, I want to encourage you to keep being Mom anyway.

mother, son

We can’t fix all our childrens’ problems, but we can pray for them and believe in them. It only takes one cheerleader to change a person’s life and there is no-one who believes in our children’s success as much as their mother. Keep cheering.  Your child may not think you are amazing right now, but that doesn’t mean you are not, so don’t let his emotional state influence yours. Instead, keep influencing him because there’s nothing more beautiful than a mom who holds onto her joy even in the face of misery.
Happy Mother’s Day.

*****

 

Catrina Welch in an Inspirational Author, Speaker, Image- and Life-Coach. Her passion is to help women and girls discover Confident Beauty, which doesn’t wear off like makeup does!  Her latest book, Confident Beauty, Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul is now available as an audiobook.

GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR WOMEN ON CAPE COD:

Catrina will be hosting a Branding your Image Supreme MakeOver on Saturday, May 14th from 9-11am This image assessment class will be focused on helping business and professional women simplify their life with a Confident Closet. Non-professional women are welcome to attend as well. To learn how you can get in for FREE and to save your seat, please click here or contact Catrina today.

 

3 Ways Women Seek Significance

They say there are two types of women in the world:

  • the ones who walk into a room and say, “Here I am!”
  • the ones who walk into a room and say, “Oh, there you are!”

Of course we would all prefer to be the second type, but in reality, most of us are not.

When I think of the woman who says, “Here I am!” I feel embarrassed for her–you may feel something stronger. How childish to demand attention! How vain and selfish! We don’t want to be like that. Yet if we are honest, we must admit that deep within us, there’s a little girl’s heart that would also love to be noticed.

Instead, we feel invisible.  Continue reading 3 Ways Women Seek Significance

The Secret to Success

Like a clown at the circus, some of us are spinning too many plates just trying to make ends meet. We are stressed and striving and seldom finding a moment to unwind for fear of breaking a pice of fine china. At least that’s how I feel right now. I’d tell you all the things I have up on poles wobbling in circles right now, but I’m not sure that would be very encouraging.

broken-chinaBusyness may be entertaining at the circus, but in everyday life it is more like call to competition. As soon as you proclaim to be busy the misery match begins. It’s as if busyness has become a badge of honor. Some people seek out their significance with fame or wealth, some with beauty or popularity. It seems to me, however, that nearly all of us (yes, myself included!) find busyness to be the area we hope to find satisfaction in one day… You know the day: it’s right after the next projects are completed–that’s when we will pause and enjoy the rest that we hope to earn by then.

I spent today at Geek Girl Tech Conference. I learned so much my brain is exploding. I learned I should keep blogging and start doing a whole lot more. Yet I know that I can only do so much, and without rest and peace I am nothing and I have nothing to offer. It is times like these when it is good to dig deep into our root system and remember where to find our strength.

Which is why I share this scripture as my blog today:

Psalm 1:1-3
 Blessed is the one
    who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
    or sit in the company of mockers,
 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and who meditates on his law day and night.
 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
    whatever they do prospers. 

If you are feeling overwhelmed and overspent today, I encourage you to trust in the source of your strength. You may not be able to keep all the plates spinning without your help, but a strong tree does not grow wilted and weak because of great winds or little rain because its roots go deep though the dirt directly to the Living Water. May you find your rest in the knowledge that God is your strength and He has given you all that you need to keep bearing fruit. After all, the fruit you share with your world is true success.

*****

Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose passion is empowering women and girls to BE and LET BE. Her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach, as well as her personal experiences with abandonment and grief make her message relatable to anyone dealing with rejection, betrayal or loss.

Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available as an audiobook you can find it on amazon, Audible.com, or iTunes.

When Choices Change your Confidence

My uncle tells the story of his step-father’s violence towards him as a child. Being left-handed was unacceptable to my grandfather and he proved his intolerance for his little boy’s “rebellion” by trying to nail his hand to the table with a fork. Four pierce marks in the dinning room table served to reinforce my uncle’s fear of ever using the wrong hand again.

I remember when my life was abruptly stopped with a fork in the road. I was dancing down one path toward motherhood when suddenly my husband left me. A part of me wondered if God was sternly trying to change me–as if I, too, were being rebellious. Continue reading When Choices Change your Confidence

How to Dress for Tragedies, Trials and Temptations

You have come to the top of a mountain peek; the only way to continue on your journey is to navigate your way down the steep slope and over to the next lift. You have three choices:

  1. Just do it.
  2. Take off your skis, walk back to the last lift and risk your life trying to get back on the chair that was designed to only be exited.
  3. Stand there in fear until you find the courage to choose 1 or 2.

This is much like the feeling we get whenever we face a major transition in our lives. I felt this way as a kid each time my family moved to a new location where I  had no friends. I felt it again during the my divorce and single-motherhood as well as throughout my son’s drug addiction and the death of my trisomy 18 baby. Continue reading How to Dress for Tragedies, Trials and Temptations