Tag Archives: stay at home mom

Is it Better to Be a Good Mother or a Grand Mother?

With my last child leaving the nest  and a granddaughter on the way, I am often told that it is more fun to be a grandmother than a mom. 

Mothers typically find their identity in their relationships–especially with their children.

I’ve gained three important insights on motherhood:

  1. Moms have tremendous influence on the life of a child. Our kids lives are swayed by our faith, opinions, perspectives and words.  A child whose mom believes in her is more than a conqueror. A child whose mom condemns her will struggle with self-esteem.
  2. Moms have little power over the way they interpret that influence. Children will interpret your heart according to theirs. We say, “Clean your room, honey.” They may hear, “You’re such a slob!”  or “I need to do better to be loved.” It is vital that we understand our strengths and weaknesses and study them as individuals so that we can train them in the way they should go.
  3. It is very important that we know who we are and take our role seriously. There will be times when parenting is the hardest “career” on earth, changing jobs is not an option. No matter how difficult the relationship may get, we must continue to be the best mom we can be. As they grow up, we are no longer responsible for their choices, but we will always be responsible for how we treat them.

Our challenges with motherhood Continue reading Is it Better to Be a Good Mother or a Grand Mother?

Let Him In Your Boat

Christ_in_Storm_on_Sea_of_Galilee_Ludolf_Backhuysen2There are three accounts in the Gospels that tell the story of Jesus walking on water. Matthew (in chapter 14), Mark (in chapter 6) and John (in chapter 6) each give their viewpoint of what happened that amazing day.

The disciples were in a boat in the middle of the sea during a raging storm attempting to row to shore. They were struggling against the wind when they saw the shadow of Jesus coming toward them. Assuming He was a ghost His followers were frightened, but once they knew it was their Rabi, they gladly took Him into the boat with them and the storm calmed down. Immediately they arrived to where they were going.

Here’s the thing: Before Jesus got in the boat with them, when He told them not to worry, Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, if that is really you, tell me to come to you on the water.” Talk about faith being inspired! Wow. I love to see people do amazing things; it encourages me that I can, too. But I’m not sure I would have even thought of trying that one. I mean really, there are times when other people’s great accomplishments are not an inspiration to me. I may be impressed but if its over the top or out of my giftings I simply applaud and let them enjoy the fame.

Finding the faith to act out of our comfort zones can be too much work.

Honestly, I think sometimes we choose too much work trying to prove ourselves, don’t you? I mean, if Peter’s attempt at walking on water was so amazing, why is it that only Matthew mentions it? If this part of the story was so important, wouldn’t all the gospels mention it? Don’t get me wrong, I am not ditching Peter; I applaud him.

Jesus did invite Peter to “come” but remember Peter had asked Him to tell him to come out of the boat. Jesus didn’t ask anyone else to attempt what was unnatural to man. It’s normal to want to have super abilities, and I do believe our Lord is please with our attempts when our heart is to please Him, but I also believe that we sometimes put more on ourselves than He expects us to.

Maybe it’s time we stop trying to be amazing and just invite Jesus into our boat so we can be amazed at Him. Perhaps the storms in our lives will cease and we will swiftly and safely get to shore. Who knows? We, too, could end up where we have been struggling to get to immediately. I get the impression that Jesus was more pleased to be asked to get in the boat than He was to ask Peter to get out of it.


Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

If you are interested in having Catrina come speak to your friends, colleagues or ministry you can contact her on facebook or by email at catrina@catrinawelch.com.

Straight Paths

Proverbs 3:5, 6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in al your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.

One day a farmer asked his two sons to walk a straight line across his field of freshly fallen snow. The first son saw the opportunity to do something simple and without hesitating, picked a tree across the field and walked straight to it. His footprints proved his confidence; each step lay there in perfect alignment.

Wanting desperately to please his dad as much as his brother did, the second son carefully calculated each step he took. Heal to toe he placed each foot down to leave a trail as accurate as his brothers, but his focus was so intent on his feet that he had no idea the line he formed zigzaged as his balance was wobbling back and forth.

Last week, my blog was about leaving impressions as we walk through life, I realized that my life’s most impressive footprints are the ones Jesus left when He was carrying me through the loss of my daughter in 1999.

This week, as I faced new challenges, I found myself looking at my feet.

Sometimes I try so hard to please my Father that I carefully calculate each step so as not to mess up. Like the farmer’s second son, I have had my vision so focused on my next step that I have lost my way. My heal-to-toe precision has only slowed me down and frustrated the people in my life that I long to lead. Especially my kids.

Parenting is no easy task, and when we face battles we don’t know how to handle, it seems there is a default button that makes us look so carefully at our feet. I don’t know about you, but when I want desperately to do a job well, I sometimes forget the greater purpose, and only focus on the imprint I’m trying to make. Actually, more accurately: I stand there swaying with my stance too narrow and my balance all off, looking back at what I’ve done or said horrified that my footprints are way out of line.

Some say, “slow and steady wins the game,” but slowing down and focusing on the game so much that I don’t even remember where I am headed does not win.

It’s time to lift my eyes again, and do like the wiser brother did: focus on the goal, and just keep walking with confidence.


God, help us all to keep our eyes set upon You and the goal You have set before us. We want to be less concerned with how we are performing than we are of where we are headed. None of us will hit the mark right on, but all of us will leave footprints behind us, help us to take steps worthy for others to follow.


Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their image issues. It is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Loosing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available soon.

If you are interested in getting these books or having Catrina come speak at your event, you can contact her at www.CatrinaWelch.com or on facebook.

Tuesday’s Tip: UNnagging

The heart of my ministry to women throughout the years has mostly been about teaching women to cast their cares on the One who cares for them, to do what it takes to meet their own needs, and to have a cheerful heart toward their responsibilities to their loved ones.

Women were designed to help others. We are nurturers and comforters and our power to influence those around us is stronger than we seem to understand. But “if mamma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” I love that saying (you see it all over my website) because it is a powerful reminder of how much our attitude can change the atmosphere around us, causing a catch 22 of misery loves (or more accurately: demands!) company.

We have to be careful as wives and moms… and sisters and friends… to choose our battles wisely. Solomon knew what he was talking about when he said “Hope deferred makes the heart sick,” Prov. 13:12 no doubt, with as many wives as he had, he understood how a disappointment can shut a woman down emotionally (yea, I know men do too, but they usually fight it out and are over with it, we tend to hang on to our stuffed-away-bitterness and slam doors instead of our bewildered offenders who simply want to get away from us.)

Often the battle we are trying to fool ourselves into believing we are not fighting is over something as simple as the left behind jacket (shoes… towels… dishes… you name it!) Wouldn’t it be nice if others saw our needs and met them the way we do for them?

They say that “communication is key” but man, it feels like nagging when we have to ask them once again to pick up their things or to put the dish in the dishwasher!

I have come up with two ideas that have helped me stay happy so my family can live in their own home with peace. This Tuesday’s Tip is not about image, although it’s a close priority, it is about keeping up the house.

The buy-back-bin: when my family leaves things out I put them on the steps to be taken up and put away on their way up the stairs. If they do not get the hint, their item ends up in a bin in my coat closet where it stays until requested, or I decide it is time. Items are returned to the child to be put away after they buy them make from me. The price? 10 pushups or 10 situps per item. My kids stay fit, and I stay happy. Actually, they love it too; It has become a “I got you!” game in my house instead of a battle.

We’ve been playing it for years now. The dishes are another story. I just recently figured this one out.

I’ve been training my daughter to take over the  dreaded chore. Now she fights the urge to nag. One day she voiced her frustration to me. I sympathized and told her how I always wanted to make a sign… she asked me to do it.

The obnoxious posting: I could justify framing the subtle UNnagging since I was helping my little girl keep her chore done for more than an hour, so I put it in our shiny clean sink:

The Dishwasher is available for your convenience.









You’ve got to try it!

It works! We tease each other now when we don’t take advantage of our modern day convenience.

Titus 2:4,5  … admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, haste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.





To Stay or Not to Stay at Home


There is a familiar debate rising in our society after Hilary Rosen’s comments last week about Ann Romney saying, she “has actually never worked a day in her life.” Many stay at home moms are insulted. Once again our nation is fighting out the question: does a stay-at-home-mom work? Is she less of a woman if she doesn’t have a job/career/business as well? Are working moms wrong to leave their children in someone else’s care?

I’ve had seasons of being a stay-at-home-mom and of being a career-mom, I’ve also been blessed to run a business from home with children under feet and I can tell you that they each option has its pros and cons. Personally, I believe we are accountable for our own lives and the choices we make should not be judged by each other. It’s hard enough to juggle our responsibilities as women, why do we torment ourselves with each other’s judgment?

The root of all unhappiness is comparison.

I think it’s time we rise up as Christian women and follow the advice in Titus 2. Instead of spending our energy debating who has a better life, let us join efforts to encourage and advise each other so that we can each do a good job at raising the next generation; whether we need a second income or not. We need each other. Let’s not let pride segregate us. We need to reach out to other moms who are also feeling alone in their efforts to do the right thing. It takes a village to raise a child.

If you are feeling the pressures of the debate today, I encourage you to live your life according to your convictions and do not let the pressures of this world deter you from what you need to do for your family. God is your judge, not them!

Proverbs 16:2  “All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord.”