Liz hated her blonde hair. Someone once called her a bimbo and she couldn’t let go of the insult. With a mission to look more intelligent, she dyed her hair very dark, but as it grew out her light roots gave the illusion that he hair was thinning and suddenly she was convinced she was going bald. Now she hated her hair even more, and couldn’t stand how she looked.
I am not making this up. This was a major Confidence Conflict that one of my clients faced, and her story is not unusual. When Liz came to me for a Supreme MakeOver, she had already been through two hair implants and had treatments scheduled for the rest of the year. After learning that she was an Ingénue, with delicate coloring and dainty features, she realized that dying her hair was a major mistake. Not only did it cause this awful illusion of thinning, but the deep, dark color was competing with her skin and eye coloring causing her to look drawn and tiered all the time.
Many beauty treatments are completely unnecessary for certain people, yet they are highly successful because they are marketable to those people anyway if they are vulnerable. Liz had plenty of hair, she didn’t need to start implant treatments, she needed stop tint treatments.
Transition takes Confidence
When you are deep into a difficult Beauty Battle, however, making a change is not easy. Sometimes recognizing your style may cause another Confidence Conflict. because being advised to alter how you represent yourself may be considered another insult. Like growing out your hair, major change is a difficult process, which will happen if a decision is made to push through the awkward transition. You must feel confident to get through it.
It took liz a very long time to work through her battle. With scheduled appointments and big investments already made, she was not confident she wanted to change. She could not go back to her natural beauty until she could appreciate her beauty.
Gratitude changes attitude
Think of any Confidence Conflict that you have faced. When did the transition begin to happen? I’m willing to bet that it started with a change in your heart.
- You feel unsure about stepping out, but then you realize the value of the end result, and suddenly it’s worth the work.
- A relationship is strained, but then you recognize something in that person that you appreciate and the door to reconciliation is suddenly open.
The same must happen with your relationship with yourself. Until you recognize that you do have something to offer and you begin to appreciate the way that you were created, your self-confidence will always be strained. The good news is that, if you do come to that place of appreciation, you can find peace with yourself.
In honor of this Thanksgiving weekend, I encourage you to be thankful for how God made you. I know it sounds cliche, but He doesn’t make mistakes. If someone has insulted you, don’t receive their opinion as your identity. More than likely, they were only trying to feel better about their own Image Issues. When we are grateful for what we have, it is easier to brush off rude remarks and BE who were were designed to be.
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