The Ugly Trap of Chaos

Classic: serving as a standard of excellence :  of recognized value

The rose has been a symbol of classic beauty for centuries. Its strength and dignity display the standard for which  many women were expected to strive for throughout the years. While “standards” of any kind are no longer as important in  our free-for-all / anything-goes society, they will always remain important to some women. Like the Classic Beauty, whose innate nature is to stand alone with a bit of a guard around her heart, like a long stem rose with its thorns still in tact.

Who doesn’t love the powerful and captivating beauty of a single rose? It is an honor to be given one, and it is worthy of a valuable vase and an honorable spot to be displayed. In many ways a single rose is more honoring than a bouquet of them, because it says, “I don’t need to impress you. You impress me.”

single rose vaseA single rose speaks of confidence. 

We all want to be confident, and most of us  have some a desire for the strength to stand alone. Especially the Classic Beauty, who is usually a professional and a go-getter. Not much gets in the way of this woman’s ambition for achievement and her independent nature keeps her from even recognizing her need for others. As she climbs the corporate ladder, the rest of us recognize that she is worthy to be placed in an honorable spot.

But there is one thing that can destroy the Classic’s beauty. In fact, it can destroy any woman’s (or mans) strength and dignity.

Chaos: complete confusion and disorder : a state in which behavior and events are not controlled by anything.

Some people thrive on stress and disorder, they find their significance in the problems they have. Any one of us can fall into this trap at any point in our lives because the challenges we face want to define us, and often they do:

  • When we go through a divorce, we call ourselves a divorcee.
  • When we struggle with an addiction we are named an addict.
  • When we loose our spouse, we become a widow or widower.
  • When we loose our home, we are labeled a homeless person.
  • When we loose our child, we are called a …

Yea, there’s no name for being a parent who has lost a child, perhaps that’s because this all consuming “challenge” is too hard to label–or perhaps it’s the lack of definition that makes it all consuming–but that’s a blog for another day. The point I want to make today is that letting the challenges of life define us is not beautiful. In fact, it is like stepping into a bear trap and letting its fierce clutch hold us back and kill our confidence. Sometimes life’s snares do trip us up and disrupt our lives with chaos and confusion; but we should not let them destroy us.

But they will–if we remain focused on impressing each other with our strength to stand alone. 

CB vase Transparent-Bgrnd_Bouquet copyStanding together speaks of confident beauty.

If you find yourself ensnared in a situation that is holding you back, killing your confidence or defining you, I encourage you to call out for help. A trap cannot be released by the person in It, no matter how strong she is. In order to overcome some challenges we must let go of our dignity, break off the thorns that guard us, and allow someone else to impress us for a change.

Standing alone may speak of confidence, and a single rose may be honoring, but allowing others to stand with you speaks of a different kind of strength which is full of beauty, peace and love, like a full bouquet, where everyone gets the honor.


Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose passion is empowering women and girls to BE and LET BE. Her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach, as well as her personal experiences with abandonment and grief make her message relatable to anyone dealing with rejection, betrayal or loss. Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, will soon be available as an audiobook. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at

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