When I was a little girl, if I was stressed, I hid.
I remember the day my mom and aunt were making me dresses for kindergarten. It overwhelmed me out to repeatedly change and pose so they could measure and pin. I didn’t complain though; I was a good girl. Instead, the first chance I got, I hid in my closet and fell asleep. I woke up to very relieved parents and later found out that they had the police searching a nearby pond.
I don’t mind wardrobe changes anymore, but I do still hide. Or at least I try. When I am overwhelmed I get quiet, but my body language speaks loudly. I know that talking things out is healthy, but it doesn’t come easy for me. If I l seem upset and you ask me what is wrong, My body language may say, “Leave me alone!” But what I really mean to say is, “I need to figure this out. I don’t want to talk, but I do need to talk and I may need your ear, so don’t really leave me alone, but please be patient with me, I’m a mess right now.”
Emotions are complicated
My Image Identity (Img.ID) is a combination of two styles: the Dramatic who feels things deeply, and the Natural, who lets chaos roll off her back. The contradiction inside of me causes me confusion. I want whatever is bothering me to be no big deal, but it is–and that makes me feel guilty or childish (and therefore, even more stressed!). I need time to sort out my thoughts and feelings so that when I present it to you I am not scattered and emotional. Nowadays, I go for a walk on the beach. After all, I am not a child anymore. If I hid in my closet now, the police wouldn’t be searching the waters, they would be locking me up!
How about you?
How do you handle stress?
Do your children handle it the same way?
How you handle stress is a big indicator of your Img.ID: C: Investigative, needs all the details N: Complacent, unconcerned with the details D: Emotional, needs to express feelings I: Sympathetic, feels responsible R: Sensitive, sweetly cares for everyone else G: Judgmental, needs to correct the problem Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.
Understanding yourself and your children are the key to raising confident kids. I wish I’d really understood this when my kids were young, but it is never too late to be a good mom. We must first understand our own needs and desires, and then understand if our kids are the same or not.
Our role in their lives is to train them in the way they should go, not the way we should go.
If your child is a different style than you (or a combination of two styles that contradict with each other!), then it may take a little more effort to understand them, but it’s still your job.
Parenting is no easy job, but there is no one who can do it better than you.
Whether you and your child are the same personality or not, you can’t go wrong if you follow these three steps to help them deal with the stress in their lives:
- Understand yourself, know your desires, expectations and responses to stress. Learn, grow, get better at handling your own stress.
- Study your children individually. Read their body language, notice their mindset and understand (and respect) the level of maturity they are at.
- Learn all you can; take all the advice you can get, but filter it all through your knowledge of your children. Be confident, no one knows them like you do.
Catrina Welch has been helping others with their image for more than 30 years. As a licensed cosmologist, certified image consultant and Biblical life-coach, she is well aware that image issues are far more difficult for some styles than they are for others and that the greatest antidote is to know who you are. She has developed a systematic way of doing image assessments for large groups, which she calls a “Supreme MakeOver.” Catrina has written three books about image for women, including “Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul” and just introduced her first children’s book, Know Who You Are–for Kids!, which is now available on Amazon.
Catrina is offering free Supreme MakeOver Image Assessment events during her book launch campaign. For more information, Contact firstname.lastname@example.org or connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads and consider having her present at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.