When I was a little girl, if I was stressed, I hid.
I remember the day my mom and aunt were making me dresses for kindergarten. All the changing and posing so they could measure and pin had me overwhelmed. I didn’t complain though; I was a “good little girl.” Instead, the first chance I got, I curled up with a blanket in the back of my closet.
I’m not sure how long I slept, but I woke up to crazy commotion–my parents had the police searching a nearby pond.
I don’t mind wardrobe changes anymore, but I do still hide. Or at least I try. When I am overwhelmed I shut down and shut up. Even when I want to talk, I can’t find the words. It doesn’t matter how quiet I am, however, my body language still speaks loudly. Usually what it’s saying is,
“Leave me alone!”
And then I feel offended when people avoid me.
Emotions are complicated
My Image Identity (Img.ID) is actually a combination of two styles: the Dramatic who feels things deeply, and the Natural, who lets chaos roll off her back. The contradiction inside of me causes me confusion. I want whatever is bothering me to be no big deal, but it is–and that makes me feel guilty or childish (and therefore, even more stressed!). I need to talk, but first I need time to sort out my thoughts and feelings so that when I do find words, get are not scattered and emotional. Nowadays, I do my soul-searching with a walk or workout. After all, I am not a child anymore. If I hid in my closet now, the police wouldn’t be searching the waters, they would be locking me up!
How about you?
How do you handle stress?
How you handle stress is a big indicator of your Img.ID: Classic: Investigative, needs all the details Natural: Complacent, unconcerned with the details Dramatic: Emotional, needs to express feelings Ingénue: Sympathetic, feels responsible Romantic: Sensitive, sacrificial Gamine: Judgmental, needs to correct the problem Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.
Do your children handle it the same way?
Our role in our kids’ lives is to train them in the way they should go, not in the way we should go.
I wish I’d really understood personalities when my kids were young, but it is never too late to be a good mom. The more we understand our own heart, the better we can recognize the needs and desires of our children. Whether you and your child are the same personality or not, you can’t go wrong if you follow these three steps to help them deal with the stress in their lives:
- Understand yourself. Know your desires, expectations and responses to stress. Learn, grow, get better at handling your own stress.
- Study your children individually. Read their body language, notice their mindset and understand (and respect) the level of maturity they are at.
- Take responsibility. Learn all you can; take all the advice you can get, but filter it all through the fact that no one else is as accountable to influence them as you are. Trust your mamma heart, and if you are ever unsure of what to do, always err on the side of love.
Parenting is no easy job, but there is no one who can do it better than you.
Catrina Welch has been helping others with their image for more than 30 years. As a licensed cosmologist, certified image consultant and Biblical life-coach, she is well aware that image issues are far more difficult for some styles than they are for others and that the greatest antidote is to know who you are. She has developed a systematic way of doing image assessments for large groups, which she calls a “Supreme MakeOver.” Catrina has written three books about image for women, including “Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul” and just introduced her first children’s book, Know Who You Are–for Kids!, which is now available on Amazon.
Catrina is offering free Supreme MakeOver Image Assessment events during her book launch campaign. For more information, Contact firstname.lastname@example.org or connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads and consider having her present at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.