Validation, Everyone Needs It

When is the last time someone said something encouraging to you as a person?

You are very good at that.

You are so strong!

You are beautiful.

I hope it was this morning that someone validated you as a person, but I know that in reality it may have been a long time since you have heard a positive statement about your looks, strengths or qualities. For some reason, most of us hold back from “speaking life” over each other.

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!-Deuteronomy 30:19 

I was just making a bitmoji with my daughter. We were cracking up as we picked the shapes, sizes and colors of my facial shape and each facial feature. (btw, I need someone to make an app like that for me to help people figure out their Img.ID, if you know a creative IT guy, please send him my way!) It got me thinking, how many teens are creating their emoji and laughing like this? Tori knows the six styles and, although I’m sure there are things she doesn’t like about herself but they don’t seem to bother her the way they did me at her age. I didn’t understand that my long, straight nose and thin lips were part of my Personal Image Identity, I just thought they were ugly. If I’d been choosing lips, cheeks and chins at seventeen I may have gone into an identity crisis, not having a blast.

Someone once told me that my nose was “too long” and my lips “too thin” and I believed it as a kid. When I learned about clothing personalities I gained a new understanding of the word “too”It’s an opinion! And it’s relative to that which it is compared to. My nose is not long compared to some; it is to others. So what on earth does “too long” mean?

No two people are the same, so who has the right to say which features are “too” anything? Is only one nose be “just right” since there’s no other nose like it? 

Yup, this is where my mind goes when I play with teens and apps.

Wouldn’t it be nice to see more girls laughing and enjoying the fact that some facial features are quite funny (and funny looking) when we focus on them intently, but that doesn’t mean they are not beautiful. It just means that our Supreme Stylist is very creative.

If you have features that you don’t like about yourself, I encourage you to laugh a little. No one is focusing as intently on that flaw as you are. Let it go. It is what it is and it is what your Creator wanted it to be-a beautiful characteristic of His beautiful girl.

You don’t have a big, ugly nose. You have a strong nose and that is part of who you are and, by the way, I LIKE who you are!

Validation, it can change the trajectory of a girl’s self-esteem. Go tell someone she’s beautiful today.

*****

As an author and speaker, Catrina’s passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, Catrina now uses her profession, her own powerful stories and her training as a Biblical life-coach to reach the heart in a way that is relatable, encouraging and inspiring. Her message is balanced with both fashion and faith and is making a difference  in the lives of women and girls all over!  To be part of this movement, connect with her on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  and consider having her speak at your next event. Visit http://catrinawelch.com for more information.

About Catrina

Catrina Welch has been helping others with their image for more than 30 years. As a licensed cosmologist, certified image consultant and Biblical life-coach, she is well aware that image issues are far more difficult for some styles than they are for others. After her first husband left her while pregnant, she learned first hand that the greatest antidote to Confidence Conflicts is to know who you are, including your personal image identity. She developed a systematic way of doing image assessments for large groups, which she calls a “Supreme MakeOver.” Catrina is the author of five books, including “Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul.” She is the mother of four children. Catrina and Ron, her husband of twenty-five years, live on Cape Cod, Massachusetts. For more information about Supreme MakeOvers or having Catrina speak at your next event, email her at catrina@catrinawelch.com

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