Category Archives: Confidence

Seek Peace and Pursue It

Rebecca would have been 25 today. Although we have never been able to be with our daughter for any of her birthdays, we still celebrate her quick and powerful life each year. We cook a fish dinner and give our other children gifts as we recall God’s faithfulness to us through all these years.
Every year, I also try to repost this poem, which we shared at her funeral. These words were spoken to my heart one night before she died. Through the years they have encouraged many people. It is my prayer that they will encourage you today as well.
No matter what you are going through, don’t hesitate to climb into the lap of your Heavenly Father, for it is when we need Him most that we feel His presence most powerfully. Of course we have the option of getting angry or bitter, but it’s awful hard to hear Him then. On the other hand, vulnerability and desperation, like we experienced in 1999, produces a peace that surpasses all understanding. May you, too, find the strength which allows you to look back a quarter century later and still feel His amazing love.

God’s Comfort to Our Family and Friends

This child is my gift to you, like a delicate flower.

Do not expect her life to last like that of a carnation.

Her purpose here is a quick and powerful one.

Enjoy each moment.

Do not waste time in meaningless comparison,

And do not get caught in the trap of self-pity,

Or you will miss the blessings I have in store for you.

I love you and long to bear this yoke with you.

I want to ease your pain; I do not want to take it away.

Because if I did, I would take away all the victories, the lessons, the character being created in you.

I promise, I will never leave you, nor forsake you.

I will bear this load with you, if you just draw near to me.

Trust in me, and tell of the wonders you will see.

There are great riches in store for you,

But if you only look at the pain and sorrow, that is all you will see.

Look unto Me and my Son.

When you want to find comfort in the sympathy of others

When you feel as though no one understands,

When you are tempted to sit and compare your circumstances with others,

Look at the cross, look at the life of my Son.

He understands.

He knows what it is like to anticipate great trials and great pain.

He understands rejection and betrayal.

He knows misunderstandings and false accusations.

He understands what it is like to be raised by a father who is not his own.

He has felt every physical and emotional pain.

He has felt separation from Me,

And I have felt the great pain of losing a child I so dearly loved.

Let me bear this cross with you.

You have honored me as Creator and Master; right now, let me be your “Daddy.”

Climb into my lap, and I will give you rest.

Wait upon me and I will renew your strength.

Trust in Me, and I will provide all your needs.

But if you turn from Me, and blame Me, How can I reach you?

I will wait, and I will welcome you back when you are done with your fight,

But I will not fight back. I am a gentleman.

I will stand at the door and knock, but you must open the door.

Only then will I enter in; and you and I shall dine together.

I will be your God, I will provide for you, protect you, comfort you and counsel you.

I love you and My grace is sufficient for you.

My power is made perfect in weakness.

Give to me your challenges, I find that to be the greatest gift of all.

And you will know my peace.

Catrina Welch

It was through the writing of this poem and the feed back it brought me that my love for writing began and lead me to write my first book, Footprints through the Sand, a consolidation of life-altering stories of loving and losing our Trisomy 18 baby. There is great joy in knowing someone else benefits from what we have been through. 1999 taught me not to waste my pain but to allow it to drive me to do something to help others who are suffering. If you know someone who is struggling under their circumstances, would you share this with them?

Does Your Image Speak Truth?

Your outfit could be completely undermining your credibility.

How you dress is an indication of who you are and how you care about yourself, which in turn shows us how you will or will not care about others… which is really all that matters to anyone. 

Do you care about me?

This fact of life is true in our personal life, and it’s true in our professional life.

When you dress up for a night out with the ones you love, you make them feel as if your time together is valued. When you dress up for the court room, closing or conference, you show the judge, client or colleagues, that you are respectable and prepared. By caring about such details as your image, others trust you to be professional about taking care of them.  But being clean and neat, or even dressing up, is not enough. 

If you want to be trusted, your image must speak truth.

It is no more appropriate to “dress up” for court in a cocktail dress than it is to dress in any clothing that is not your style. Dressing with Confident Beauty is not about dressing in style, it’s about knowing your Personal Image Identity (or Img.ID) and branding your wardrobe by following your style guidelines.

Your outfit speaks. Does it tell the truth? If not, others will not trust you–and they may not even know why. 

Catrina Welch, Author, Speaker, Image- and Life-Coach

The best way to figure out how to dress honestly and appropriately every day is to discover your Personal Img.ID. When you know who you are, and dress according to your authentic style, you will be your most powerful self for two reasons: 

  1. Your image will speak truth, which allows others to trust you. 
  2. You will feel like yourself, which allows you to be more confident.

There are six clothing personalities and a broad spectrum of combinations of those six. Your Personal Img.ID represents your outward authentic style as well as your inner character, and if you do not dress according to your guidelines, you may very well be misrepresenting yourself. If you live in sweats and t-shirts when you are a glamorous Romantic Img.ID, your image is saying the same thing about you as if you were wearing jeans to the opera. You may be more comfortable, but you are giving a mixed-message to those around you about who you are and what is important to you.

Your Img.ID is not just your clothing personality or personal style, it is the core of who you are. Which words best describe what matters to you:

  • C: Quality, authority, education, professionalism, timeliness, edict.
  • N: Practicality, comfort, conservation, loyalty, peace.
  • D: Excellence, style, esthetics, enjoyment, completeness.
  • I: Compassion, recognition(for others and self), creativity, memories.
  • R: Hospitality, sensuality (smells, feelings, etc.), grace, endearment.
  • G: Fun, fairness, work ethic, boldness, success.

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear. To take my FREE quiz and learn your Image Identity, click here.

Having an image assessment is a simple and enjoyable process, which can literally change your life because instead of undermining your authenticity, it empowers you with Confident Beauty, which doesn’t wear off like makeup does, making you more powerful and influential. If you are interested in learning your Personal Image Identity, or in hosting a Supreme MakeOver Image Assessment Event, please contact me today!

Supreme MakeOver Image Assessment logo

Is a Rich and Satisfying Life Even Possible?

Most of us are searching and striving for a life of peace and joy, which always seems just out of reach. Perhaps we will be satisfied when we get a new job, find a husband, or move… Maybe life will be better when we finally have children… or when they finally reach the next stage, get out of the house, or at last, (Lord, please!) are set free of their sickness or  sin….

Surely a peaceful and pleasant life is unattainable –at least not as long as we are always longing for another time or place. 

Jesus made it very clear in John 10:10, that He came to give us a rich and satisfying life, and that there is an opposer. We have an enemy who works very hard to keep us from living the life God called us to. The problem is, our enemy is very cleaver. He loves to disguise himself and make us think the problem is not him, but it is our child, our spouse, our boss or even our friend.

Very seldom, however, does he prompt us to think the enemy is ourself. Yet, truth be told, we are often our own worst enemy. 

Think about it; do you have any habits that hinder or sabotage your own life? Do you ever speak badly about yourself? Do you give up on yourself or hurt yourself–intentionally or subconsciously?

A rich and full life is not about riches. A bigger house or better car will never satisfy, because there is always more to attain. 

Rich relationships will certainly satisfy, but not at all times; they will always face opposition . Love may kindle with no effort, but the flame will burn out if it is not tended to.

The secrets to a rich and satisfying life is really not so secret–in fact, Jesus revealed the way throughout the same chapter (John 10) many years ago:

  • Follow only Him
  • Recognize His voice, get to know Him
  • Run from deceivers
  • Be free, enjoy good pastures
  • Be unified with His people

Although these secrets may be simple, there are certainly hard battles that must be fought in order to experience the rich and satisfying life that truly IS possible. I’d like to explore this with you over some coming blogs, but for now I encourage you to get to know the voice of God, because certainly the most important part to a rich and satisfying life is in following the Good Shepherd. If we do not know His voice, we may follow the bleating of another lost sheep and end up in the herd of a deceiver.  

I love to listen to God’s voice amongst the waves crashing on the beach. There is something about the salt air and soft winds that speaks to my heart and makes me very aware of His presence. How about you? Where or how have you heard the voice of God in your past? Was it while reading your bible, rocking a baby or climbing a mountain? Was it during a worship service or through a conversation with a friend? 

How you hear from God is a big indicator of your Img.ID:

C: The Classic Reading, Studying, Vacation.

N: The Natural Getting out in Nature, Alone time.

D: The Dramatic Relationships, Worship, Beauty.

I: The Ingénue Arts, Crafts, Photography.

R: The Romantic Baking, Creating, Singing.

G: The Gamine Preaching, Music, Coaching.

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

Whatever it is that helps you hear the voice of God, do it more. 

Listen carefully, and when you hear Him, write it down. If you don’t hear Him right away, keep trying for He is ready to be found.

To take my FREE Image Identity Quiz

click here

3 Steps to Love Yourself Better

Raising a child is no easy task.

As parents, we learn as we go, making mistakes, but doing the best we can. There’s things our parents did that we swore we would never do, yet we do them. There’s child-rearing techniques we thought were brilliant, that we learned were not. With each child we learn more; and then we become grandparents…

There are many benefits of grand-parenting over parenting. Personally, I feel the greatest part is in seeing the challenges and rewards from a different perspective.
Motherhood was a great portion of my personal identity. If my kids did well, I felt good about myself. If they were at risk or made poor choices, I felt like a failure. Raising my granddaughter is different.

The Value of Life-lessons

You know those times when something happens that beckons an intimate talk about life? I loved those special moments when I was rearing my own children. (Teaching is my passion.) I’m not so sure my kids loved those moments, though, because I realize now that I was putting too much pressure on them. When the opportunity arrises to teach my granddaughter, the life-lesson no longer feels urgent and demanding like it did with my kids because my own identity is no longer creating that pressure.

I am not afraid of my granddaughter’s mistakes, I know they will teach her better than I can, so she is allowed to mess up and I am allowed to enjoy witnessing her development. Her life-lessons are all about her success, not mine.

Teaching opportunities are precious, especially when we are not driven to fix, lecture or pressure the children in our lives.

The milk has spilled. I can yell, and she can cry, or we can simply clean it up together.

Life just taught her to be careful next time; I don’t need to.

When we realize that our panicked or controlling response could break a child’s character, the lesson is no longer, “Don’t do that!” If we want Confident Kids, we should not make them feel that their mistakes or messes are pitiful. Instead, by calmly cleaning up the mess with them, we are teaching them that our love is unconditional, which is really the greatest life-lesson we could ever teach.

Most of us mom’s understand this concept when it comes to handling “boo boos.” We ask to see what hurts, we kiss it, then we give it a pretty bandaid–even if it doesn’t need one. We instinctively know how to love a child through her hurts.

The Value of Validation

A kiss makes a boo boo “all better” because it gives validation to the pain.

Catrina welch

Perhaps it’s their tears that makes a boo-boo different from a mistake. Tears call to our momma-heart. It’s easy to console a child that is crying because that mistake doesn’t threaten our identity, it validates our worth.

Oh, how I wish I had used my “teaching opportunities” to love my children when they messed up–not only when they hurt. Now that they are grown, I see how they are just like me… and most other adults I know.

To take my FREE Image Identity Quiz

click here

Each of us respond differently, but our stressing and striving; our hating and hiding; our hangups and habits all give indication that our mistakes–or the fear of them–are still a Confidence Conflict. Our goal, of course, is to grow and mature in our responses, but for many of us, the fear of failure still shows up late in life.

Our children deserve more.

We can’t love anyone through their mistakes until we learn to love ourselves through our own.

I am far better at loving my granddaughter through her mistakes because I have learned to love myself through my own. I believe this is only possible because, by God’s grace, I have come to accept His unconditional love toward me.

How about you? How do you treat yourself when you mess up? If you are ready to let go of the fear of failure and begin to love yourself unconditionally, I encourage you to treat yourself as you would a child with a “boo boo”:

  1. Acknowledge what hurts. A wound that is not validated will not heal. God sees your pain, talk to Him about it.
  2. Accept a kiss. There is great value in being vulnerable enough to ask for help & healing. God loves when you come to Him like a little child.
  3. Put a pretty bandaid on it. It’s not about hiding the hurt, it’s about protecting it. Self care is an important part of maturing.

Each of us respond differently, but our stressing and striving; our hating and hiding; our hangups and habits all give indication that our mistakes–or the fear of them–are still major Confidence Conflicts.

CATRINA WELCH.COM/BLOG

New Year, New Closet

Every garden needs to be weeded on a regular basis, but there are times when it needs a complete tilling.  Your closet is no different. If you have been staying up on your wardrobe, discarding, giving and removing items that do not suit your style, then you may not need to join us in our complete clean out today. 

If you have had a major change in your lifestyle, climate, size or simply a new awakening of who you are, then you may want to follow the steps we are taking in our Supreme MakeOver Course. 

Complete Closet Clean Out

We have been going through our wardrobe and wearing every item we can, creating as many complete outfits as we can with what we already have. 

We have been saying goodbye to items that simply do not fit right, have worn out, bring us bad memories, or suck the confidence out of us in any way. 

We now know our personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and the guidelines we should follow in order to look our best, and we are ready to swap with each other clothing that simply does not suit us well for ones that do. 

General guidelines for your Img.ID:

  • C: (The Classic) fashion trends (not fads) matching accessories.
  • N: (The Natural) simplicity with texture.
  • D: (The Dramatic) straight lines, high fashion, Accessories.
  • I: (The Ingénue) light, fine and feminine fabrics.
  • R: (The Romantic) rich, flowing, feminine fabrics.
  • G: (The Gamine) strong, bold color & fabrics

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

Your Closet Clean Out could take you as little as one hour, it could take you all day, but there will be a great return on the time you invest because from here on, every morning will be easier and you will feel much more confident all day, everyday, knowing your image is reflecting your authentic self. 

To prepare, clear off your bed, you are going to need it to make your piles as you continue to pull out anything left in your closet (this includes dressers that may be in your room).

If you haven’t already, be sure to get all that laundry from step one (see last blog) washed and dried. 

Bring back to your room ONLY items you will keep.  

Continue to REMOVE any and all items (clothing or not) from every part of your wardrobe one drawer, shelf, section at a time. Try on each item and find pieces to make an outfit and make the decision: is it a THROW AWAY,  GIVE AWAY, or LAY AWAY (keep for another season, size, place)?

Place all “keepers” on your bed. 

Remember, you are weeding anything that does not give you confidence. You are not wasting anything, you are sharing those good items with someone else who will enjoy it more.

Once your closet and dressers are completely empty, vacuum and wipe down everything, top to bottom. Next, go find your husband and tell him: “look, honey, I have NOTHING to wear!” While he’s there, it may be a good time to ask him what his favorite outfits of yours are.  Then follow these steps:

  • Start by taking your favorite base items (usually slacks, shorts or skirts) and trying on all tops that could possibly work with that base piece., completing the outfit to the best of your ability with what you have, including accessories
  • Make a list of anything needed  to complete that outfit. Suggestion: take a selfie to help you remember, bring it with you to look back at when shopping. I find this especially helpful for matching colors. 
  • Next, purposefully put each outfit away (organize as you feel best: by color, type, outfit) until you have enough complete outfits for your lifestyle.  As you go along decorate the closet to make it peaceful and inspiring by hanging purses, scarves, mirrors, etc.

Continue this process until everything on your bed has found a place.  If there are items left that go with nothing you own, either give them away or take them shopping with you.  Don’t return them to your closet until you find something you can wear them with or they will quickly cause the clutter and confusion you just worked so hard to weed out.  

Finally, REMOVE all excess clothing (weeds!) from your house.

Now take some time to enjoy your beautiful garden and celebrate your new found freedom! I’d love to hear how you did. Comment, share, post pics of your progress. May your new year be full of confidence and beauty!


End of the Year Closet Challange

Imagine walking through a well groomed garden. Smell the colorful flowers and feel the gentle breeze calm your heart. Allow the beauty to inspire peace in your heart as you walk along, while the dew is still on the roses. Perhaps this is a place to find God Himself. 

Now consider a garden that is overgrown and unkept. The paths are crowded with out of control bushes, the blossoms are wilting and withered and the clutter of weeds persuade quite an opposite affect on your heart.

No peace. Distraction. Overwhelm. 

Your closet is like a garden. 

In which type of garden would you prefer to start your day? 

No matter the size or shape of your closet, it, too, can be an inspiring sanctuary or it can be a overgrown and chaotic: full of unused, worn-out, mismatched clothing that chokes the confidence out of your day right from the start!

Closets must be cared for

Life is busy– especially this time of year. With all the hustle and bustle of holiday shopping and going to events, your closet may likely be chaotic like mine right now.  For most of us, the only space (besides the bathroom) in our house where no one else is allowed to enter without permission, is our closet. This makes it a perfect place to hide things we don’t don’t know what to do with or don’t have time to put away before company arrives. It is also a great place to hide Christmas gifts. 

Christmas should be the season to seek peace and pursue it, yet with a cluttered closet, it’s easy to start the day frustrated over finding something to wear.  I don’t know about you, but my closet is no longer a sanctuary. I can nearly move amongst the “overgrowth.”

It’s time for a wardrobe weeding!

First step to creating a Confident Closet

I know the week of Christmas is not really the time of year to focus on self or take on a big project, but right after the celebrations is a great time to prepare the way for the new year.  Would you join me in a simple, step by step plan in weeding, cultivating and planting a Confident Closet?  

STEP ONE:  Enjoy what you have.

This is a time of giving, not a time to be longing for more, so in the spirit of Christmas, begin to WEAR EVERYTHING you already own. Put together as many complete (including accessories) outfits as you can. For now, just enjoy what you have and listen to what each outfit says. Notice how you feel the day you wear it. Is it “you”? Does it fit well? Is it in good condition?

If it makes you feel confident, then take a selfie or describe it in writing for future reference. 
If there are items that make you feel self-conscious, uncomfortable or phony; or if anything stirs up ugly emotions, Quickly GIVE AWAY, THROW AWAY or LAY AWAY that item.

After you wear an outfit, do not return it to your closet, in fact, don’t even wash it. This is a great week to let the laundry pile up. Instead of washing clothes, wrap a gift.

That’s all for now, we will get to the laundry next year.

Stay tuned for step two in my next blog. Be sure to join my email list to have it sent directly to your inbox.  If you have friends you want to do this with, please share this with them. 


3 Questions that Make Life Good Again

girl hiding

In the beginning, God created man and woman in His image and gave them a mission to enjoy His creation, reign over it and fill the Earth with lots of offspring. But they got distracted by a snake (see my last blog).

When we mess up, God calls out for us.

Most of us get off-mission at some (or many) point in our lives. Whether it’s a cruel word or big mistake, if we want to overcome self-consciousness, we are wise to consider the questions God asked the first couple after they messed up.

  • Where are you?

God went searching for the first couple. He knew they were hiding in the bushes with fig leaves covering their bodies, but He called to them to give them another chance to turn back to Him, for He is a gentleman who does not push himself on others.

In the same way, He still seeks after you and me.

The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.”

2 Chronicles 16:9a NLT
  • Who told you you were naked?

God acknowledges the problem. He does not like it when His children are belittled. Obviously, they were now embarrassed about their nakedness. God recognized their shame (even though it was part of His very good plan that they should have freedom from wardrobe) and brings it up for discussion.
Have you ever been made to feel badly about something in your life or image?

“You’re so (naked / vulnerable / ugly)…”
“Your not (like God / good at that / very strong)…”
“You should (hide / shut up / stop doing that) …”

Your Creator cares about the way you are treated. He doesn’t control those who hurt you, but He will deal with them at the right time. For now, He longs to comfort and heal you, but first, He must deal with what you did.

  • Did you do something wrong?

God had one rule for Adam and Eve: Don’t touch that one tree. The rule didn’t just protect them from knowing evil, shame, fear and self-consciousness; it also gave them the opportunity to show Him that they were choosing to obey, trust, and love Him. He had no desire to control them and He still wants His children to have free choice.

But when we mess up, we must fess up or we will remain in our shame.

They failed Him, but He did not fail them. God brings our shame into the open not to condemn, but to correct. Love allows consequences; no longer could they walk freely in the Garden, but neither did they need to cower from Him. He removed their uncomfortable attempt at clothing and covered them with beautiful leather. Then He sent them back on their mission to have dominion over creation and to be fruitful and multiply. We know for certain that they were forgiven and given a fresh start, because it was only after paradise was lost that Eve was given her name.

Then the man–Adam–named his wife Eve, because she would be the mother of all who live.

Genesis 3:20

If you have been questioning God’s rules and doubted His heart; if you have lost your confidence and are hiding who you really are; if you are keeping your distance from God and man, I encourage you to listen for the voice of God and seek the truth, for this is what sets us free. Acknowledge the words that have hurt you and let God deal out the consequences in His time. For now, confess any part you did wrong and put on the clothing of forgiveness! The snake will get what’s coming to him, but let’s not let his words keep us from getting back to being who we were designed to be!

If you have ever been set free from the pain of someone’s words, or if you know someone struggling with their identity, would you share this blog on your social media?


CONFIDENT BEAUTY Image- and Life-Coaching

Very Good Gone Bad

In the beginning, by the word of His mouth, God created the heavens and the Earth and all that was in them. His grand finale – and the purpose of it all – was man and woman, created in His image. And it was very good.

Until a snake spoke.

“Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”

Genesis 3:1

Eve tried to shake the enticing notion that there could be more. “No,” she said, “God said to enjoy everything, except for the one specific tree, or we will die.”

“You won’t surely die!” the snake pushed, “God is holding out on you! He knows if you eat that fruit you will be like Him, knowing good and evil.”

“Wait, that’s not fair!!” she thought. Perhaps God’s heart wasn’t so good and generous after all. So she and her husband ate that which they were warned not to. ( Gen 3:2-6, paraphrase mine.)

God’s very good plan was suddenly distorted

Spoken words change our lives. The snake’s “little white lie” was more than a temptation, it was an evil plan of identity fraud. Think about it: with the hiss of his voice, they were made to feel that they were not good enough and their life could be better.

The snake said that the fruit would make them like God… but they already were.
He said that they would gain the knowledge of good and evil… yet they already knew VERY GOOD. So really, all the couple gained was the knowledge of evil.

God’s very good plan was that mankind would not know evil. So, truth be told, God was holding out on them. He was holding back all that would hurt and hinder them from the beautiful, free life He created them for! The snake twisted that truth and hijacked a very good plan.

Before they lost trust in God, the first couple were liberated nudists; after, they were embarrassed and ashamed individuals. When we doubt God, we doubt ourselves and we doubt others. Self-consciousness destroys intimacy, which is exactly what the nemesis of God wanted. In fact, he is still roaming the Earth to steel, kill and destroy the identity of anyone desiring to be like God, for this is his obsession.

When we think that God is holding out on us, we put up a guard and separate ourselves from Him. When we believe His heart is not good, we doubt our own worth as well.

“If God is so good, why does He give me so many restrictions? Must not be enough.”

If you have ever felt insecure in your identity, then you know: it only takes one conversation, one truth–slightly twisted, or said with the wrong tone–to cause us to doubt God’s plan. Adam and Eve had no image issues before the snake spoke.


Why did He make me this color, shape, size or gender? Why can’t I do this or have that? He must not love me, want me, believe in me…

Lies.

Worse than a lie, it’s a twisted-Truth, because there is some truth in it (Adam and Eve really were naked) but the deepest the truth is, God’s laws are protective boundaries that display His love and give us opportunity to show Him love in return (by respecting them).

If we want to overcome self-consciousness, we would be wise to consider the example set for us in the Garden of Eden, which we will do in tomorrow’s blog. For now, let’s pray: God, show me the lies I have believed and forgive me for all the ways I have doubted you. Teach me to trust your heart and follow your laws. Help me to stop trying to make everything better myself. Teach me to walk in the freedom of being who you designed me.

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Above all else, BE and LET BE

What is a Supreme MakeOver?

After more than three decades in cosmetology, I’ve learned a few “tricks of the trade” but my makeovers, and the confidence they seemed to offer, wear off.

Supreme MakeOvers don’t.

Don’t we all want to be beautiful? Yet very few women feel they are. In fact, I’d dare say that we all wish we could change something about our image! Sure, there are some seasons of life when we are more self-confident than others, but it is certainly not just the teen years that we face Image Issues.

  • Any rejection, big or small, imagined or real, relational or occupational will make us question our worth.
  • Mid-life can bring on a crisis.
  • A injury, setback or alteration in life, function or location are all grounds for a Beauty Battle.
  • Breakups–and certainly divorce–can cause a major struggle with the psyche of anyone at any age.

We all must wrestle with the question, “Who am I?” and no matter the cause of the doubt, the feminine heart will contend with her appearance. There’s really no way around it, whether we want to acknowledge it or not, beauty is a deep part of our identity.

We cannot settle insecurities in the mirror. Confidence must be settled in the soul.

Catrina Welch

If we don’t recognize beauty and its power to influence our self-image than we cannot be truly confident. We may be able to look another in the eye and shake a hand firmly, but our self-talk may still be consumed with our own self-worth, which is the opposite of confidence.

Throughout scripture there are many examples of Supreme MakeOvers (SMOs) because changing identities is what our God is all about. He loves to encourage our hearts, renew our minds, revive our spirits and breathe life into dead places. He is able to make all things beautiful in His time. And beauty is His passion. Pause a moment to consider how much beauty He created.

You are one example of His amazing creativity.

He is the “Supreme Stylist” and He has a plan for everything He makes. Trusting His heart and submitting to Him as your Creator will set you free from all fears and feelings of insignificance.

  • This is what Mary did when faced with the many difficulties of becoming an unwed mother.
  • It’s what Abigail did when her husband’s abuse nearly wiped out her whole family.
  • It’s what gave Hannah the strength to handle her rival and the shame of her infertility.
  • It’s what the orphan Esther did that made her the Queen who saved a nation.
  • It’s what Tamar did that blessed her after years of neglect, abuse and betrayal.
  • It’s what Eve did after utterly failing and causing the entire human race to be banned from paradise.

God gave me a SMO, too, when I was pregnant and abandoned; and it’s what He longs to do for you as well. Why? Because He is the Supreme Stylist. He offers peace that surpasses all understanding and He is able to take our ugly mess and turn it into a beautiful message.

A Supreme MakeOver is not a cosmetic application, it’s a metamorphosis. It changes you entirely. Forever.

Experience a metamorphosis-like makeover. It’s time to spread your beautiful wings and soar with confidence that doesn’t wear off like makeup does! There are a few ways you can take some “cocoon time” of transformation.

  • read SMO Devo, taking time alone to reflect and journal.
  • register for a group SMO Image Assessment event near you.
  • host a SMO event of your own with your friends, church or colleagues.
  • book a private SMO and receive some personal image coaching.
  • Ask me directly by emailing me at catrina@catrinawelch.com

To take my FREE Image Identity Quiz

click here

*****

3 Poor Places to Look for Self-worth

My granddaughter is entering the age of princess preoccupation. It’s a beautiful thing to witness the joy of a child who is excited about who she is. I dread the day she begins to loose her confidence and doubts her self-worth. But it happens. Somewhere along the line, imagination fades and reality sets in. 

In our formative years we are constantly looking to and learning from everything around us for the sole purpose of self-discovery. Playing dress up is more about finding answers, then it is about looking lovely. 

Am I lovely? Am I loved?

Unfortunately, we do not always get the answers we want, because we tend to look for our identity in dim mirrors. There are 3 particular mirrors that give us a poor reflection, yet we use them to judge ourselves all the time.

1. Upbringing

Of course we decide who we are and what we are worth by the projected opinion of those who are rearing us. They are the ones teaching us everything else, why shouldn’t we look to them to answer our deep, personal questions?

“Who am I?” Am I valued?

The problem with looking to our teachers and parents for these answers is that they may very well be struggling with self-confidence themselves. Many parents put a lot of pressure on their children regarding their appearance, accomplishments, strengths, abilities, aptitude  or behavior because they are looking to the child to fulfill their own need to be valuable.

2. Comparison

Throughout our lives we compare ourselves to others. This is natural and can be a positive motivation. It can also be very negative. 

Far too often we devalue something about ourselves that we should appreciate, except that our sister or friend is not (tall, quiet, athletic, etc). How silly we are to look at someone else’s reflection to find our value! That would be like choosing an apple and being upset because it doesn’t taste like an orange. 

3. Media 

There is no stopping the pressures on our identity by the culture around us. Confidence Conflicts are being placed before us all the time. Magazine covers in the grocery isle, billboards on the highway, commercials on TV, and yes, indeed, all the tiny glimpses into our friends’ perfect lives through the filters of social media. They scream at us, “get your act together!” 

But I don’t like acting, do you?

I’m tiered of looking into dim, puzzling mirrors and feeling as if I will never measure up. There’s only one mirror that gives a clear reflection, that is where I will look for my true identity.

Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

1 Cor. 13:12 

If you, too, have been seeing yourself poorly, I invite you to look to the the One who actually knows you completely. Think about it: the Maker of Heaven and Earth personally chose each and every attribute that He gave you. He deeply loves and dearly values you, His precious daughter. Perhaps it’s time we look to the KING OF KINGS for our true identity and start acting like a PRINCESS again.

To take my FREE quiz and learn your Image Identity, click here.

***** 

As an author and speaker, my passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, I love to use my profession, along with my experiences and training as a Biblical life-coach to help others struggling. If you want to make difference, too, would you share this blog and connect with me on Facebook, Twitter Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads  or consider having me speak at your next event. Visit https://catrinawelch.com for more information.

cluttered room

Do You Cry Over Spilled Milk?

As a young adult renting my home, I wasn’t very concerned with how it looked. Once I owned a house, however, I took great pride in how clean, organized and decorated it was. My husband built our first home, so perhaps my experience of taking ownership is more drastic than yours, but suddenly I cared.
A lot.
A simple mess–and since everything was new, that could be anything–caused this momma to go into an unkind panic as she dashed to clean it up. We had worked so hard to create our home, so there were strong emotions attached to my fear that it could all be ruined!

Even if you don’t own your home, you may also have strong, emotional reactions over “spilled milk.” Why? Because our homes are a representation of ourselves and we want our lives to be in order. Who doesn’t want their home to be the place to relax, unwind and be at peace. In fact, our whole family should be able to enjoy our home as a safe haven.

Unfortunately, our homes are not always havens.

If cleanliness is next to godliness, then certainly clutter creates the opposite.

Cleanliness is far more important to some of us than it is to others, but no matter what your style of housekeeping, life often interrupts our neat little corner of the world and suddenly junk-drawers are jamming, the refrigerator is sticky, the oven is smoking and the crumbs on the floor will bring out the unkindness!

For me, it’s a bit of a catch 22: When I’m happy–and busy–I leave a trail behind my whirlwind and it isn’t long before the mess starts spreading to my heart and I get irritable from the lack of ability to keep order or find anything. When I’m irritable and “unkind”, I clean like a mad woman. When my life is ugly, it helps me find my “godliness” by making my house look pretty again.

How you keep your home is a big indicator of your Img.ID:

  • C: Classic: is organized in her mind, but her counters, desks and drawers may be a mess. She knows where things are, though, so don’t move anything on her! Her home is often unfinished or under furnished because she wants things done properly but has trouble making decisions or accepting help.
  • N: Natural tends to be unorganized. Her home may be dirty, dusty and run down, but she’s so laid back that she may not even notice the mess, and it certainly doesn’t bother her.
  • D: Dramatic is an extremest and her home is no exception. Where she lives may be either completely out of control with piles of laundry and dishes, etc. or exceptionally organized, immaculate and embellished.
  • I: Ingénue is full of compassion and creativity, which may be very evident in her beautifully decorated home. She tends to take good care of her home, but she may become overwhelmed by the work. Finding a system for the upkeep will help any of us, but especially the Ingénue.
  • R: Romantic may also be overwhelmed by her chores, but this girl actually enjoys housework. She especially loves baking. Creating an atmosphere that makes others comfortable is actually her expertise. It is important, however, that she guards her heart when her efforts are not acknowledged.
  • G: Gamine likes things in order and cleanliness is very important to her. She tends to have no problem delegating her responsibilities. If she has no help and cannot afford to hire some, she desperately needs a system to follow in order to keep up the house without getting grouchy about it.

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

To take my FREE quiz and learn your Image Identity, click here.

confident beauty image coaching

As a young woman, I thought of cleaning as an unfair expectation put on the less-than-gender. I resented having to pick up after my brothers, and later: husband and children. I compared my endless efforts to their seemingly simple home lives. After work/school, I was the one to make dinner, clean it up, give baths and prepare lunches for the next day while they got to relax or play.

Then I realized that I actually like to clean and organize and that having the house in order was something I wanted, but my family really didn’t care if it was messy or not. No wonder my requests for help seemed so oppressive to them! Truth be told, my mom’s request felt the same way–and I suppose that was why I thought I hated the chore.

A change of mindset changes everything.

Once I realized that I actually enjoy cleaning, I stoped nagging everyone else to help me, which truly changed the atmosphere of my home. Not only did my family stop running away from me, but since I was cleaning up with a cheerful heart, they were happy to pitch in now and then. I no longer looked at the household chores as an unfair job; instead I saw them as an enjoyable ministry to the ones I love the most. I began to create ways to make the chores interactive and teachable for my kids with the hope that, one day, cleaning would be fun for them as well.

My greatest creation was the game created to keep me from nagging my kids to put things away, while keeping them in shape.  

The Buy Back Bin: a rubber made placed out of reach in a closet used to place toys, jackets, sox, etc. found on the floor. When requested, the item may be "bought back" for the price of (10) push ups or sit ups (the child’s choice).


So how do you feel about cleaning?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on what you do to create a calm and enjoyable home for your family. Do you take full responsibility for the housework or is it a shared effort? If so, have you found any fun ways to orchestrate the chores in a way that does not cause your kids to feel oppressed by the work?

***** 

CONFIDENT BEAUTY Image- and Life-Coaching

Get catrina’s books on Amazon

Confidence During Ugly Times

It’s been a bit of an ugly season. The many challenges, disappointments and difficult changes of these past few years have discouraged many of us. Add any personal crisis to Covid and all the cultural chaos, and all ambition is gone with the wind. 

I stopped writing. 

Just I was ready to blog again, I discovered my neglected website had been hijacked. At first, the thousands of inappropriate blogs posted by the hacker knocked me down and discouraged me even more. In cleaning up the infractions on my reputation, however, I discovered something that motivated me to get back up.

Regardless of the fact that “the world shut down” (or that I did!), there was one post in my archive that continued to get multiple visits every day from all around the world:

Favor is Deceitful and Beauty is Vain

Apparently, whether we are stuck at home or out in public–and regardless of the threat of sickness, riots or war–there are women, of all ages, nationalities and styles that continue to wrestle with one question: If beauty is vain, am I a bad person because I want to look good?

My website stats reveal the secret search that so many women are seeking–especially when they are hurting. Of course, it is far better to search God’s Word for the longings of our hearts, but some of scripture is very hard to understand.

Favor is Deceitful and Beauty is Vain but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised – Proverbs 31:30

It encouraged me to learn that a blog about my own struggle with this verse (find it here), and the revelation that came from it, could possibly be helping others with their own Beauty Battle.

There’s other challenging scriptures, like 1 Peter 3:3-4, which raise more questions about Image Issues. In my book, Confident Beauty, Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and In Your Soul I wrote about a number of these verses, but perhaps it’s time I blogged about them, too?

It’s the life-lessons that we struggle with the most that hold the deepest meaning–and make us most qualified to teach. 

Catrina welch

Yes, the past few years were quite ugly, but I’ve rediscovered the beauty of giving my pain the purpose of helping others. My confidence is renewed and my passion revived. I’m ready to put myself out there again. How about you? 

If you’ve lost your way and are running on empty, I encourage you to remember who you are and recommit to your purpose. Don’t waist your pain, there’s someone who needs the lessons you learned. in fact, perhaps you could start by sharing this blog? 

*****

As an author and speaker, my passion (was-and is again!) helping women and girls overcome Confidence Conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. With 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, I will once again use my profession, along with my experiences and training as a Biblical life-coach to help others. I’d love to connect with you on Facebook, Twitter Pinterest, Linked In, or Goodreads. Please visit catrinawelch.com to learn about my Supreme MakeOver Image Assessment events.


Get catrina’s books on Amazon