Category Archives: Confidence

The Only True Source of Confidence

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Life may never be the same after this pandemic, but it sure is good to get back into the salons, even if it’s so much less personal! It’s just easier to cope with all the changes when our nails are finished and our hair is good, isn’t it?

As women, when we feel beautiful, we feel confident.

Achieving beauty is one way we attempt to become confident. Success, wisdom, popularity and strength are other powerful sources for self-esteem. Yet, the moment someone outshines, undermines, devalues or corrects us, we will likely feel defeated, diminished, devalued. 

Is there anything that will truly satisfy our need to feel good about ourselves?

I believe there is one true and lasting source of confidence, and it is Continue reading The Only True Source of Confidence →

The Best Solution to Discrimination

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Racial discrimination is a serious problem, but prejudice isn’t limited to color or culture. People always “judge a book by its cover,” this is a fact of life. If we are honest, we all make visual assessments and prideful assumptions based on personal experiences and preferences all the time.

  • We choose our communities, caretakers or political parties according to our beliefs, opinions and needs.
  • We use businesses, attend meetings and make friends only if we feel comfortable with those people. 
  • We decide which checkout line we will use according to our assumption of the cashier’s attitude and aptitude.

It is natural and normal to make decisions based on appearances. In fact, you and I decide if we like or trust a person, place or thing within six seconds. Is this wrong? Maybe, but this tendency to make quick judgments can save us time or keep us from danger. 

Sometimes our first impressions are completely off, and we miss out on an opportunity or relationship that we may have enjoyed. Other times our assessments are completely inappropriate and we make harsh judgments based on personal opinions or experiences that have nothing to do with the reality of what–or who–we are criticizing.  Continue reading The Best Solution to Discrimination →

Discover Personal Branding–Like Susan Boyle

Beauty, Confidence, Life, Personal Style, , , , , ,

More than 4,500 athletes, the Queen of England and 40,000 fans will all gather for tonight’s opening ceremony of the 20th Commonwealth Games in Glasgow city’s Celtic Park where Britain’s Got Talent‘s Susan Boyle will be one of the performers.

NOTE: this blog originally posted July 23, 2014

Remember when Susan’s audition shocked the world in 2009? As of today 154,079,130 people have viewed the youtube video of her amazing performance. I’ve personally watched it a number of times. In fact, I often use the video to illustrate the powerful affect of first impressions and the importance of branding your personal image. Susan had a dream to become known like Elaine Paige; now her fame exceeds her greatest expectations. When she walked onto that first stage the audience rolled their eyes and laughed at her; no one expected her to sing well at all. Now we all anticipate her performance with high expectations.

After her angelic voice was discovered, many image consultants wanted to give Susan a makeover. Why? Continue reading Discover Personal Branding–Like Susan Boyle →

The Most Common Question

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The Covid-19 stay-at-home-order has put us all in casual dress mode.

I can’t remember the last time I dressed up–even our Easter photo opt. proved to be casual (at least from the waist down!).  My daughter didn’t even have dress shoes since she left college during her spring break, unprepared to come home for the year.

Even though I’m a Dramatic who loves fashion and makeup, my Natural side loves being stuck at home.  I don’t miss my heels at all!

How about you?

I’ve been rather amazed, however, at how much traffic one particular blog is still getting. Since I wrote it in 2012, it has always been my most popular post, but I am surprised that it is even more popular right now during a time when we are all so socially inactive.

Apparently, social distancing does not stop the Beauty Battle within.

Continue reading The Most Common Question →

Favor is Deceitful and Beauty is Vain

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“Favor is deceitful, beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

As a young church girl, I thought this scripture meant that it was wrong to be beautiful, that I shouldn’t want the favor of anyone, and that I should be afraid of God.

Wow was I off!

Many other times in Proverbs it is said that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. The understanding of fear that I had as a child is not the kind of fear God desires of us. We should fear Him like we fear fire; a better word may be RESPECT.  When we don’t understand God’s heart–or fire–we will run  away from it instead of enjoying it.

When we are afraid of God we may work with all our might for His approval–that was me, I really had to wrestle with the meaning of this verse because I wanted to please God, but beauty was my passion. Continue reading Favor is Deceitful and Beauty is Vain →

3 Tips for Handling Stay at Home Stress

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When I’m stressed,  I shut down and shut up.

The term tongue-tied may mean one thing to you, but to me, it is a perfect metaphor for how I feel when I am hurting. Even when I want to talk, the words are held captive. It doesn’t matter how quiet I am, however, my body language still  speaks loudly. Usually what it’s saying is,

“Leave me alone!”

And then I feel hurt when people avoid me–especially my husband, of course. I want others to read my mind not my face. I want them to ask and then wait (a really long time if necessary). Then I want them to judge my heart and not my confusing words. And I want them to be on my side, even if they have a completely opposing opinion.

I want, I want, I want.

When we are stressed, we are selfish.

Continue reading 3 Tips for Handling Stay at Home Stress →

Easter Changes our Difficult Realities

Confidence

Imagine how the friends of Jesus felt after His crucifixion. They were so sure He was the Messiah, the One sent to become their king and free them from Rome. He called Himself the Way, the Truth and the Life, yet the reality was, He just suffered a brutal death!

Faith: the substance of things hoped for

Reality sometimes rocks our faith and twists our beliefs with doubt and confusion.

Perhaps you, too, have had a dream suddenly become a nightmare? Has your hope ever turned to despair? Maybe your future was looking bright but then crisis hit, confusion came or tensions arose and now you’re not sure what is true anymore.

I am a mother who has grieved the loss of a daughter and suffered the emotional turmoil of having a son ensnared in addiction. I know this dream-gone-bad feeling.

As difficult as life gets, the most painful seasons are the times when the truth gets twisted. Continue reading Easter Changes our Difficult Realities →

Confidently Content

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I grew up in an extravagant home on Cape Cod. When I was eleven, my family made a major change and pursued a secluded life in Maine. The adventure in the deep woods without the luxuries  we were used to reformed the character of each of us. Since we had nothing and knew no one, we cultivated tight and true relationships with one another. It was then that our faith became a true and important part of our lives.

I suppose, in a way, we were self-quarantined. Continue reading Confidently Content →

Here’s How Wearing a Hat Can Help you Defeat Depression

Confidence, Greif, Life, , , , ,

There is a secret battle that wages in every human heart.

Secret because we don’t want to talk about it. And secret because the silence makes us feel so alone in the fight. But we are not alone! The war for a healthy self-image may hit us socially, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, (you name it). There will be some area of our lives that each of us will feel that we are not enough–or that we are too much. Our confidence will be attacked in one way or another. Like arrows shot from an enemy, the attack may be harsh words from a close friend, or the rude attitude of stranger.  It could be a simple failure and our own thoughts that knocks our confidence to the pit.

Self-talk is the key to winning the battle

Many Christians make it a habit to “pray-on the full armor of God” in order to prepare for such battles. As we get dressed, we ask God to give us the “breastplate of Righteousness” knowing that our King’s emblem is our true identity and that His goodness covers our failures and protects all our heart. We imagine securing the “belt of Truth,” as we trust that His promises are real, and He is greater than our fear. As we put on our shoes, we ask to be equipped to run, walk, stand, whatever His will, and that He will lead us with His peace. Before we start our day, we take up the “shield of faith,” knowing that fiery darts will come, but God is still who He says He is and He equips us to be more than conquerors. But victory doesn’t just come to those who believe, we must fight for what we believe. We must take the “sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God” and use it. (Ephesians 6)

eva-1437826-640x480Becoming warrior women who are confident (and beautiful!) is an adventure.

Continue reading Here’s How Wearing a Hat Can Help you Defeat Depression →

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3 Reasons Beauty is Dangerous

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Most women don’t have Confident Beauty because they compare themselves to other styles, but if you have ever been mistreated because of your appearance, you know that Image Issues are more complicated than that, because BEAUTY IS DANGEROUS.

Beauty is dangerous when it defeats us.

Maybe you HATE how you look because you compare your beauty to the models in the media and you feel you don’t measure up. Maybe men have been mean to you or taken advantage of your body. Perhaps it’s women who have mistreated you and tried to demean your beauty so that they feel better about themselves.  Continue reading 3 Reasons Beauty is Dangerous →

The Power of Beauty

Beauty, Confidence,

This is school vacation week in New England. Many families are getting away for a time of refreshing and renewal. A break from the bitter cold and brutal winds can give us strength to continue to endure our harsh winters. 

It’s not a bad idea to get a break from a mild winter like this one, either.

Vacations are refreshing, healing, comforting, why? Typically, it’s not just the break in routine that gives strength to the soul. Often it is the beauty that we surround ourselves with when we get away.

Snow laden ski slopes. 

Palm trees swaying in the gentle breeze.

Children laughing on the playgrounds. 

Continue reading The Power of Beauty →

The Secret to Being Confident 

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I suppose there will always be times in life when our confidence is under attack (especially when is your main ministry topic), but I feel like I’m “under gun” in every direction right now.

With the challenges that lie before me, I have become aware of one common denominator that seems to be the secret to overcoming all sorts of Confidence Conflicts: Continue reading The Secret to Being Confident  →