Category Archives: Life

cluttered room

Do You Cry Over Spilled Milk?

As a young adult renting my home, I wasn’t very concerned with how it looked. Once I owned a house, however, I took great pride in how clean, organized and decorated it was. My husband built our first home, so perhaps my experience of taking ownership is more drastic than yours, but suddenly I cared.
A lot.
A simple mess–and since everything was new, that could be anything–caused this momma to go into an unkind panic as she dashed to clean it up. We had worked so hard to create our home, so there were strong emotions attached to my fear that it could all be ruined!

Even if you don’t own your home, you may also have strong, emotional reactions over “spilled milk.” Why? Because our homes are a representation of ourselves and we want our lives to be in order. Who doesn’t want their home to be the place to relax, unwind and be at peace. In fact, our whole family should be able to enjoy our home as a safe haven.

Unfortunately, our homes are not always havens.

If cleanliness is next to godliness, then certainly clutter creates the opposite.

Cleanliness is far more important to some of us than it is to others, but no matter what your style of housekeeping, life often interrupts our neat little corner of the world and suddenly junk-drawers are jamming, the refrigerator is sticky, the oven is smoking and the crumbs on the floor will bring out the unkindness!

For me, it’s a bit of a catch 22: When I’m happy–and busy–I leave a trail behind my whirlwind and it isn’t long before the mess starts spreading to my heart and I get irritable from the lack of ability to keep order or find anything. When I’m irritable and “unkind”, I clean like a mad woman. When my life is ugly, it helps me find my “godliness” by making my house look pretty again.

How you keep your home is a big indicator of your Img.ID:

  • C: Classic: is organized in her mind, but her counters, desks and drawers may be a mess. She knows where things are, though, so don’t move anything on her! Her home is often unfinished or under furnished because she wants things done properly but has trouble making decisions or accepting help.
  • N: Natural tends to be unorganized. Her home may be dirty, dusty and run down, but she’s so laid back that she may not even notice the mess, and it certainly doesn’t bother her.
  • D: Dramatic is an extremest and her home is no exception. Where she lives may be either completely out of control with piles of laundry and dishes, etc. or exceptionally organized, immaculate and embellished.
  • I: Ingénue is full of compassion and creativity, which may be very evident in her beautifully decorated home. She tends to take good care of her home, but she may become overwhelmed by the work. Finding a system for the upkeep will help any of us, but especially the Ingénue.
  • R: Romantic may also be overwhelmed by her chores, but this girl actually enjoys housework. She especially loves baking. Creating an atmosphere that makes others comfortable is actually her expertise. It is important, however, that she guards her heart when her efforts are not acknowledged.
  • G: Gamine likes things in order and cleanliness is very important to her. She tends to have no problem delegating her responsibilities. If she has no help and cannot afford to hire some, she desperately needs a system to follow in order to keep up the house without getting grouchy about it.

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

To take my FREE quiz and learn your Image Identity, click here.

confident beauty image coaching

As a young woman, I thought of cleaning as an unfair expectation put on the less-than-gender. I resented having to pick up after my brothers, and later: husband and children. I compared my endless efforts to their seemingly simple home lives. After work/school, I was the one to make dinner, clean it up, give baths and prepare lunches for the next day while they got to relax or play.

Then I realized that I actually like to clean and organize and that having the house in order was something I wanted, but my family really didn’t care if it was messy or not. No wonder my requests for help seemed so oppressive to them! Truth be told, my mom’s request felt the same way–and I suppose that was why I thought I hated the chore.

A change of mindset changes everything.

Once I realized that I actually enjoy cleaning, I stoped nagging everyone else to help me, which truly changed the atmosphere of my home. Not only did my family stop running away from me, but since I was cleaning up with a cheerful heart, they were happy to pitch in now and then. I no longer looked at the household chores as an unfair job; instead I saw them as an enjoyable ministry to the ones I love the most. I began to create ways to make the chores interactive and teachable for my kids with the hope that, one day, cleaning would be fun for them as well.

My greatest creation was the game created to keep me from nagging my kids to put things away, while keeping them in shape.  

The Buy Back Bin: a rubber made placed out of reach in a closet used to place toys, jackets, sox, etc. found on the floor. When requested, the item may be "bought back" for the price of (10) push ups or sit ups (the child’s choice).


So how do you feel about cleaning?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on what you do to create a calm and enjoyable home for your family. Do you take full responsibility for the housework or is it a shared effort? If so, have you found any fun ways to orchestrate the chores in a way that does not cause your kids to feel oppressed by the work?

***** 

As an author and speaker, my passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, I love to use my profession, along with my experiences and training as a Biblical life-coach to help others struggling. If you want to make difference, too, would you help share this blog and connect with me on Facebook, Twitter Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads 

If you would like to consider having a private or group Supreme MakeOver Image Assessment, please contact me right away! Visit https://catrinawelch.com for more information.

Get catrina’s books on Amazon

Confidence During Ugly Times

It’s been a bit of an ugly season. The many challenges, disappointments and difficult changes of these past few years have discouraged many of us. Add any personal crisis to Covid and all the cultural chaos, and all ambition is gone with the wind. 

I stopped writing. 

Just I was ready to blog again, I discovered my neglected website had been hijacked. At first, the thousands of inappropriate blogs posted by the hacker knocked me down and discouraged me even more. In cleaning up the infractions on my reputation, however, I discovered something that motivated me to get back up.

Regardless of the fact that “the world shut down” (or that I did!), there was one post in my archive that continued to get multiple visits every day from all around the world:

Favor is Deceitful and Beauty is Vain

Apparently, whether we are stuck at home or out in public–and regardless of the threat of sickness, riots or war–there are women, of all ages, nationalities and styles that continue to wrestle with one question: If beauty is vain, am I a bad person because I want to look good?

My website stats reveal the secret search that so many women are seeking–especially when they are hurting. Of course, it is far better to search God’s Word for the longings of our hearts, but some of scripture is very hard to understand.

Favor is Deceitful and Beauty is Vain but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised – Proverbs 31:30

It encouraged me to learn that a blog about my own struggle with this verse (find it here), and the revelation that came from it, could possibly be helping others with their own Beauty Battle.

There’s other challenging scriptures, like 1 Peter 3:3-4, which raise more questions about Image Issues. In my book, Confident Beauty, Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and In Your Soul I wrote about a number of these verses, but perhaps it’s time I blogged about them, too?

It’s the life-lessons that we struggle with the most that hold the deepest meaning–and make us most qualified to teach. 

Catrina welch

Yes, the past few years were quite ugly, but I’ve rediscovered the beauty of giving my pain the purpose of helping others. My confidence is renewed and my passion revived. I’m ready to put myself out there again. How about you? 

If you’ve lost your way and are running on empty, I encourage you to remember who you are and recommit to your purpose. Don’t waist your pain, there’s someone who needs the lessons you learned. in fact, perhaps you could start by sharing this blog? 

*****

As an author and speaker, my passion (was-and is again!) helping women and girls overcome Confidence Conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. With 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, I will once again use my profession, along with my experiences and training as a Biblical life-coach to help others. I’d love to connect with you on Facebook, Twitter Pinterest, Linked In, or Goodreads. Please visit catrinawelch.com to learn about my Supreme MakeOver Image Assessment events.


Get catrina’s books on Amazon

New Beginnings

There is something about a fresh start that is truly inspirational. The pandemic has stretched us all but, somehow, the start of a new year–even if it still requires facial coverings and social distancing–is a breath of fresh air. 

2020 changed our perspective on life in many ways. Between the shut downs, protests, politics, loss and threats of sickness, we have all done a little soul searching. Although most of us would typically be setting goals and making resolutions right now, it seems that, this January, we simply want to start over. 

Change doesn’t really happen without new knowledge. What have you learned about yourself and those you love?
How you handle restrictions is a big indicator of your
Img.ID:
C: Get the facts (The Classic wants to know the statistics and follow the rules.)
N: Compromise (The Natural sees both sides of the problem and wants peace between everyone.)
D: Responsive (The Dramatic feels the factors deeply and is passionate about her convictions.)
I: Burdened (The Ingénue takes responsibility for her mistakes, and often for the mistakes of others.)
R: Shut down (The Romantic doesn’t want to be pressured, she’d rather pretend this is not happening.)
G: Cantankerous (The Gamine is one to reinforce the rules or completely rebel against them, depending on her view point.) 

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

My husband and I are renovating a 1830s Captain’s House, which we are living in. As a builder, Ron knows that most people find it vey difficult to live in the middle of the construction. I get it, too. It’s messy and it’s constricting. I’m grateful to have had a little break while my daughter has been home for the holidays. But as soon as she goes back to college, we will begin the next phase of gutting, digging, lifting, replacing walls, floors, windows, siding… and this time we will have to go without a kitchen for a long time. 

But I’m excited. It’s fun to be part of the process and to witness the progress. I’m sure it’s easier for us than it is for his clients, because we understand the process and we think of the work as our stay-at-home-entertainment. The challenge is our exhilaration. 

I’m trying to think of the pandemic in the same way. 

I don’t like the CDC guidelines. Wearing masks and keeping distant feel too much like rejection and I’m tiered of being held back from connecting with those I love. 

I realize that the pandemic may hold us back from having our social lives for a bit longer, but I’m ready to for a new beginning with my attitude. I want to somehow enjoy the Covid-challenge like I do the renovation.

An attitude change is really just a change in perspective.

Most of us understand the virus’s threat at this point. We’ve witnessed the potential results and we’ve learned to face the challenge of avoiding the invisible enemy. All the restrictions have broken us down to the very basics of who we are, like a caterpillar stuck in a cocoon. We don’t need to be like a client frustrated with the mess of a renovation, instead, we can choose to enjoy the process of change and consider the challenge our exhilaration. 

We will not be defeated. God, help us endure to the end and develop in us the strength and maturity, so that when we are finally allowed to break free, we can soar like a butterfly–with no masks, and BE who we were designed to BE.

One thing I’ve learned from past construction projects is that when the house is done, people consider you “lucky” and so do you! We call it revisionist history. Somehow the hard parts get forgotten. 

One day we will tell the stories of 2020 as if it were all a great adventure. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to enjoy the rest of this adventure while it’s still happening because soon all we will remember is how lucky we were to be “stuck at home.”

How has the pandemic changed–or revealed to you–who you are? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Connect with me on FacebookTwitter PinterestLinked In, Goodreads  or visit my site at https://catrinawelch.com.

The Only True Source of Confidence

Life may never be the same after this pandemic, but it sure is good to get back into the salons, even if it’s so much less personal! It’s just easier to cope with all the changes when our nails are finished and our hair is good, isn’t it?

As women, when we feel beautiful, we feel confident.

Achieving beauty is one way we attempt to become confident. Success, wisdom, popularity and strength are other powerful sources for self-esteem. Yet, the moment someone outshines, undermines, devalues or corrects us, we will likely feel defeated, diminished, devalued. 

Is there anything that will truly satisfy our need to feel good about ourselves?

I believe there is one true and lasting source of confidence, and it is Continue reading The Only True Source of Confidence








The Best Solution to Discrimination

Racial discrimination is a serious problem, but prejudice isn’t limited to color or culture. People always “judge a book by its cover,” this is a fact of life. If we are honest, we all make visual assessments and prideful assumptions based on personal experiences and preferences all the time.

  • We choose our communities, caretakers or political parties according to our beliefs, opinions and needs.
  • We use businesses, attend meetings and make friends only if we feel comfortable with those people. 
  • We decide which checkout line we will use according to our assumption of the cashier’s attitude and aptitude.

It is natural and normal to make decisions based on appearances. In fact, you and I decide if we like or trust a person, place or thing within six seconds. Is this wrong? Maybe, but this tendency to make quick judgments can save us time or keep us from danger. 

Sometimes our first impressions are completely off, and we miss out on an opportunity or relationship that we may have enjoyed. Other times our assessments are completely inappropriate and we make harsh judgments based on personal opinions or experiences that have nothing to do with the reality of what–or who–we are criticizing.  Continue reading The Best Solution to Discrimination








Discover Personal Branding–Like Susan Boyle

More than 4,500 athletes, the Queen of England and 40,000 fans will all gather for tonight’s opening ceremony of the 20th Commonwealth Games in Glasgow city’s Celtic Park where Britain’s Got Talent‘s Susan Boyle will be one of the performers.

NOTE: this blog originally posted July 23, 2014

Remember when Susan’s audition shocked the world in 2009? As of today 154,079,130 people have viewed the youtube video of her amazing performance. I’ve personally watched it a number of times. In fact, I often use the video to illustrate the powerful affect of first impressions and the importance of branding your personal image. Susan had a dream to become known like Elaine Paige; now her fame exceeds her greatest expectations. When she walked onto that first stage the audience rolled their eyes and laughed at her; no one expected her to sing well at all. Now we all anticipate her performance with high expectations.

After her angelic voice was discovered, many image consultants wanted to give Susan a makeover. Why? Continue reading Discover Personal Branding–Like Susan Boyle








Favor is Deceitful and Beauty is Vain

“Favor is deceitful, beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

As a young church girl, I thought this scripture meant that it was wrong to be beautiful, that I shouldn’t want the favor of anyone, and that I should be afraid of God.

Wow was I off!

Many other times in Proverbs it is said that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. The understanding of fear that I had as a child is not the kind of fear God desires of us. We should fear Him like we fear fire; a better word may be RESPECT.  When we don’t understand God’s heart–or fire–we will run  away from it instead of enjoying it.

When we are afraid of God we may work with all our might for His approval–that was me, I really had to wrestle with the meaning of this verse because I wanted to please God, but beauty was my passion. Continue reading Favor is Deceitful and Beauty is Vain








Favor is Deceitful – 3 Reasons Why

In honor of all the moms who have ever had a child turn on them and say, “I hate you!” I dedicate this blog to you.

God’s Word  is a lot like a fire hydrant: far more powerful than a refreshing drink of water. Perhaps this is what Jesus was alluding to when He told the Samaritan woman that, “those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” in John 4:14

Let’s consider a small section of one verse for example.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Proverbs 31:30

What does the Bible mean by, “charm is deceptive” (or “favor is deceitful”)?

I write a lot about Proverbs 31 Beauty, but now that my life is so involved with the deceitful world of addiction, I feel as though Continue reading Favor is Deceitful – 3 Reasons Why








3 Tips for Handling Stay at Home Stress

When I’m stressed,  I shut down and shut up.

The term tongue-tied may mean one thing to you, but to me, it is a perfect metaphor for how I feel when I am hurting. Even when I want to talk, the words are held captive. It doesn’t matter how quiet I am, however, my body language still  speaks loudly. Usually what it’s saying is,

“Leave me alone!”

And then I feel hurt when people avoid me–especially my husband, of course. I want others to read my mind not my face. I want them to ask and then wait (a really long time if necessary). Then I want them to judge my heart and not my confusing words. And I want them to be on my side, even if they have a completely opposing opinion.

I want, I want, I want.

When we are stressed, we are selfish.

Continue reading 3 Tips for Handling Stay at Home Stress








Confidently Content

I grew up in an extravagant home on Cape Cod. When I was eleven, my family made a major change and pursued a secluded life in Maine. The adventure in the deep woods without the luxuries  we were used to reformed the character of each of us. Since we had nothing and knew no one, we cultivated tight and true relationships with one another. It was then that our faith became a true and important part of our lives.

I suppose, in a way, we were self-quarantined. Continue reading Confidently Content








Here’s How Wearing a Hat Can Help you Defeat Depression

There is a secret battle that wages in every human heart.

Secret because we don’t want to talk about it. And secret because the silence makes us feel so alone in the fight. But we are not alone! The war for a healthy self-image may hit us socially, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, (you name it). There will be some area of our lives that each of us will feel that we are not enough–or that we are too much. Our confidence will be attacked in one way or another. Like arrows shot from an enemy, the attack may be harsh words from a close friend, or the rude attitude of stranger.  It could be a simple failure and our own thoughts that knocks our confidence to the pit.

Self-talk is the key to winning the battle

Many Christians make it a habit to “pray-on the full armor of God” in order to prepare for such battles. As we get dressed, we ask God to give us the “breastplate of Righteousness” knowing that our King’s emblem is our true identity and that His goodness covers our failures and protects all our heart. We imagine securing the “belt of Truth,” as we trust that His promises are real, and He is greater than our fear. As we put on our shoes, we ask to be equipped to run, walk, stand, whatever His will, and that He will lead us with His peace. Before we start our day, we take up the “shield of faith,” knowing that fiery darts will come, but God is still who He says He is and He equips us to be more than conquerors. But victory doesn’t just come to those who believe, we must fight for what we believe. We must take the “sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God” and use it. (Ephesians 6)

eva-1437826-640x480Becoming warrior women who are confident (and beautiful!) is an adventure.

Continue reading Here’s How Wearing a Hat Can Help you Defeat Depression