Category Archives: Faith

He Desires Your Beauty

February 11, 2015Beauty, Confidence, Faith, Life, Personal Styleconfidence, image, peace, scriptureCatrina

In honor of Valentine’s Day and the “Celebration of True Love” that I just attended in RI, I would like to break down a small piece of a beautiful poem written thousands of years ago.

For your royal husband delights in your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord. Psalms 45:11 NLT

Some scholars believe this poem is written about Christ and His church, others believe it is simply about the author, King David, and his bride. Personally, I believe it is like a double edged sword which cuts to the heart of the matter on both accounts. Whether it’s our relationship with man or Lord, there is much wisdom to glean from these few words.
Your Beauty is Desirable.
It does not have to be perfect, it does not have to follow any formula or fashion. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and as long as it is not withheld or propelled, it is greatly desired by the one who longs to be your beholder. Nothing on Earth is desirable to everyone, there is no reason that we should put the pressure on ourselves or each other to meet any standard of beauty. Not even identical twins should compete in beauty. The things we see as imperfections, our beholder sees as unique design.
Honor Him.
Your beauty has a powerful purpose. Like the flowers we give to the sick and grieving, your presence is meant to bring comfort and encouragement. Like the beautiful resorts we visit when we need a vacation, being with you should revive the weary and strengthen the weak, because that’s what beauty does, and that is why God made women beautiful and it honors Him to live in our purpose. We must be careful not misuse our power for our own honor because when we HATE, HIDE or get HUNG UP on our appearance, our presence doesn’t honor anyone.
He is your Lord.
Whether King David was directing this message toward his wife or not, the commitment of marriage is a wonderful reminder that true Love completes; it doesn’t compete. It really doesn’t matter where you come from or what you look like, when you are accepted into a royal family, you become royalty. This is the essence of Confident Beauty. Married or not, a woman who knows she is loved unconditionally radiates true and powerful beauty because her failures are forgiven and her imperfections are accepted. She is empowered to BE who she was designed to be with freedom and authenticity.

*****

Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose personal experience with overcoming rejection, betrayal and loss–as well as her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach–is empowering women to BE and LET BE.

Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at www.CatrinaWelch.com

Beautiful Garment of Gratitude

November 26, 2014Faith, Lifeconfidence conflicts, peace, relationshipsCatrina

My best friend is one of the happiest people I know. Everyone loves to be around her because her joy and enthusiasm for life is contagious. Many of us go to her when we feel down because she not only listens and cares, but she has a way of finding something funny in our miserable stories and her signature laugh breaks the bonds of any depression. I am so thankful to have a friend like Joann who makes life so much more enjoyable. But I know her well enough to realize that she, too, has difficult days. When you first encounter her cheer, you may think she faces no confidence conflicts, but I know that one of her great challenges is the condemnation she has gotten for being so happy.

Misery loves company–if that company is also miserable. Joyful company to someone who wants to bask in their sorrow is like salt in a wound: It may bring healing, but it hurts. Picture a patient snapping at her nurse as she tries to clean out a cut and that’s what I’ve seen happen to my beautiful friend for greeting someone cheerfully. I’ve done it to her, too.

Like March 1, 1999. I didn’t know it was my last day taking care of my sick baby, I only knew I was weary, worried and wanting my friend to cry with me. She cheerfully told me her day was too full. She’d already sacrificed many days to help me but that day I resented her happiness as she went on with her life when mine was still in turmoil. It takes extreme circumstances for me to be offended by this close friend, because I know her heart and it is good. How foolish I would have been to hold a grudge over something so small when I needed her so desperately to help me deal with something so big.

Strangers may judge a joyful heart as phony or naive. But anyone with insight knows joy accompanies more than happiness. We all need to be more thankful for the people in our lives whose predominate continence is joy. No human is without pain but those with faith that “joy comes in the morning,” who are able to find the good in the midst of the difficult are the ones we all need to be around.

If you find yourself feeling a bit down this Thanksgiving, I encourage you to choose your company well and don’t just go with your first impression. Get to know the heart of your company.

If you are feeling misjudged, or outcast or lonely remember that nothing makes a woman more beautiful than a cheerful (and confident) heart and nothing robs her beauty more than misery. Seek after the joy that gives you strength.

If your life is full of difficulty right now, realize that you are not a phony by being joyful. Would you join me in looking for the good and putting on an attitude of gratitude as if it were a beautiful garment? When we, like Joann, wear joy in the midst of unhappiness, fear or sorrow and we, too, can break the bonds of depression around us.

Isaiah 61: 1b-3

He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,

To proclaim liberty to the captives,

And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord,

And the day of vengeance of our God;

To comfort all who mourn,

To console those who mourn in Zion,

To give them beauty for ashes,

The oil of joy for mourning,

The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;

That they may be called trees of righteousness,

The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”

*****

What Makes a Bride Beautiful?

September 27, 2014Beauty, Confidence, Faith, Lifeconfidence, confidence conflicts, weddingCatrina

She takes her father’s arm and enters the sanctuary as the entire congregation stands to their feet in awe. Her beauty captivates them, but their gaze does not distract her. Her heart is set on reaching the altar to stand beside the man she loves as they commit their lives to one another. It’s a beautiful moment, one that leaves an impression on the minds of each who witness it.

Every bride should hear the sweet sound of her guests’ gasp when the doors open and she enters the room. It’s something most girls dream about. It’s also something many girls fear won’t happen. But it does. And it has little to do with the physical attributes of the bride. In fact, no stylist or fashion designer should ever take the credit for making a bride beautiful.

Her groom should.

The thing that makes a bride glow more than her form-fitted gown, her exquisite updo or flawless makeup is the knowledge that she is loved.

A woman who feels loved feels confident and free.

Confident that dreams come true. Confident that, with him by her side, she can face the world.

Free to be herself because she is accepted, chosen, and wanted.

It’s this poise that makes her stand up tall and float down the aisle in front of a congregation of people watching her. Confidence makes a woman beautiful.

I can almost hear the thoughts of those of you who lost that poise after the honeymoon wore off. I know the lonely feeling of being married but not feeling loved. It made me ugly. Eighteen years ago I was given a second chance, and this time I realize that marriage requires maintenance just as my body does. If I stop exercising I get weak. If I don’t exercise love, my marriage gets weak. True love doesn’t just die; we let it. Love is a choice more than it is an emotion. Sometimes the best motivation to a good workout is to be in the gym with someone strong. If you want a strong marriage, get around another couple who is truly in love. Feelings follow actions.

I’d blog more about that, but I have a wedding to get to.

1 Peter 4:8 NLT

Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

*****

Finding Confidence in Knowing You are not Alone

June 28, 2014Confidence, Faith, Lifebeauty, confidence, confidence conflicts, relationshipsCatrina

Do you ever feel like you are completely alone because no one understands you?

After a few years of working full time as a hairdresser I began having back problems. Here I was in my prime of life ending each day in excruciating pain. I felt like such a wimp! My co-workers and clients thought I was, too, because I would complain about my pain, but continue to work hard so I looked like a hypochondriac. If it was really that bad, why wouldn’t I stop?

Looking back, I can tell you that I was trying to prove to myself that I was stronger than I felt but at the time I didn’t understand myself or my pain. I just felt weak and foolish. In reality, I was desperate for comfort and validation. I needed to know I was not crazy, that my pain was real and that I would get better.

A doctor’s visit gave me the validation I needed–I wasn’t crazy, I had a ruptured disc in my neck. After reporting back to my boss, she told me how she, too, had blown a disc and had been on bed rest for a long time before she could work again.

I suppose her story could have scared me into giving up on my career, but it didn’t. Instead, it empowered me to begin treatment and get better. It gave me comfort to know someone understood my pain.

Sometimes we just need to know that we are not alone. If someone else can make it through what we are facing, so can we! Talking about our problems is not enough. Unless we are looking for answers, we may be looking like a hypochondriac. If you are in need of comfort or validation today, I encourage you to find someone who has made it through where you are, share your heart with her and remember, you are not alone.

*****

The Secret to a Lasting Marriage

May 31, 2014Faith, Lifeforgiveness, marriageCatrina

“Don’t give her a gun.”

This is the advice given to my friend when he asked the secret to a lasting marriage.

The quick response made me laugh out loud, I admit. But today I find myself wishing we had all taken this plea for help more seriously. A marriage in trouble is no laughing matter.

King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, had the best advice I know of:

Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom. Song of Songs 2:15 (NIV)

It’s the little attacks on a marriage garden that destroy it.

Busyness. Unresponsiveness. Comparison. Nit-picking. Pride. Honest mistakes… there are many seemingly small things that sneak into our hearts and destroy the fruit of our love. If we don’t take them seriously, more little–and growing–foxes come in. We can end up trapped inside a desolate and demeaning marriage with a bitter and broken heart. I’ve been there. So has my husband. Neither of us are so naive to think that our new garden can not be destroyed.

Knowing our vulnerability has made us strong.

Eighteen years ago today we stood before God and promised to love each other through better or worse. We did not need our pastor’s prompting for our vows–we memorized them because we each knew the pain of loving someone who had not taken them seriously.

Our marriage motto is “value the person over the event.” It has served us well.

Foxes still weasel their way into our marriage, but we quickly chase them out. When problems arise between us we are committed to looking deeper than the issue at hand and working it out. We refuse to treat each other like the enemy.

Every one of us can be an emotional mess at times. Let’s remember that true love chooses to be bigger than emotions. Giving grace is the best method of revealing someone’s faults. Forgiveness is what gives us strength to work it out. If you are struggling in your marriage today, I encourage you to be tenacious about finding the real problem. Too often there’s a sneaky little fox stirring up a conflict so that he can take over your garden. Don’t let him!

*****

5 Ways Memories Build Confidence

May 24, 2014Faith, Greif, LifeconfidenceCatrina

Why do you celebrate Memorial Day?

Cape Cod there is buzzing with restaurants re-opening, “snow-birds” returning and tourists arriving. Summer is coming at last! It almost seems counter-productive to slow down and enjoy a holiday, but remembering those who died for our freedom is important for many reasons.

After losing our daughter, my husband and I held a Valentines gala to raise funds for a scholarship fund in her memory. Over the 13 years that we did this it became very apparent that not everyone understood the power of a memorial. Celebrating memories is not about wallowing in past sorrows; it’s about moving on with hope.

Like looking in a rear-view mirror, our memories are meant to give us proper perspective of where we have been and who is following us so that we can forge ahead and not hold back those we lead. We would be a fool to focus in the rear view mirror while traveling full-speed-ahead. We would also be a fool to never glance back. There are times, like this weekend, when what is in the past, is worthy of pulling over for. Why? Because memories build confidence.

By sharing in each other’s lives–past, present and future–we build powerful bonds that should be enjoyed.
Recalling the good that came out of the bad reminds us that there is something worth living for and gives a purpose to our pain.
Sharing a stories of lessons learned in trial encourages others to find strength in their difficulties.
Celebrating victories is what gives us energy to continue.
Most of all, when we honor the courage of those who died on our behalf, we show the next generation that there is something worth fighting for.

If you are struggling with memories you want to forget or ones you can’t let go of, maybe it’s time to share your story with someone and then celebrate the good that came out of it.

*****

When Mother’s Day is Painful

May 10, 2014Faith, Greif, Lifeconfidence, GriefCatrina

footprints — photo by April Bentley of Eastham, Ma

My daughter was near her final days when I picked up my pen to write down what I felt God speaking to me.

These words–straight from my heart–were handed out at Rebecca’s funeral. Today I dedicate them to all the men and women who find Mother’s Day painful.

To those of you whose heart is full of regret or sorrow, when memories haunt you or longings taunt you, may you find comfort in knowing there is Someone who understands and cares. May you find a purpose for your pain, and the strength to continue.

God’s Comfort to Our Family and Friends by Catrina Welch

This child is my gift to you, like a delicate flower.

Do not expect her life to last like that of a carnation.

Her purpose here is a quick and powerful one.

Enjoy each moment.

Do not waste time in meaningless comparison,

And do not get caught in the trap of self-pity,

Or you will miss the blessings I have in store for you.

I love you and long to bear this yoke with you.

I want to ease your pain; I do not want to take it away.

Because if I did, I would take away all the victories, the lessons,

The character being created in you.

I promise, I will never leave you, nor forsake you.

I will bear this load with you, if you just draw near to me.

Trust in me, and tell of the wonders you will see.

There are great riches in store for you,

But if you only look at the pain and sorrow, that is all you will see.

Look unto Me and my Son.

When you want to find comfort in the sympathy of others

When you feel as though no one understands,

When you are tempted to sit and compare your circumstances with others,

Look at the cross, look at the life of my Son.

He understands.

He knows what it is like to anticipate great trials and great pain.

He understands rejection and betrayal.

He knows misunderstandings and false accusations.

He understands what it is like to be raised by a father who is not his own.

He has felt every physical and emotional pain.

He has felt separation from Me,

And I have felt the great pain of losing a child I so dearly loved.

Let me bear this cross with you.

You have honored me as Creator and Master; right now, let me be your “Daddy.”

Climb into my lap, and I will give you rest.

Wait upon me and I will renew your strength.

Trust in Me, and I will provide all your needs.

But if you turn from Me, and blame Me, How can I reach you?

I will wait, and I will welcome you back when you are done with your fight,

But I will not fight back. I am a gentleman.

I will stand at the door and knock, but you must open the door.

Only then will I enter in; and you and I shall dine together.

I will be your God, I will provide for you, protect you, comfort you and counsel you.

I love you and My grace is sufficient for you.

My power is made perfect in weakness.

Give to me your challenges, I find that to be the greatest gift of all.

And you will know my peace.

*****

Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose personal experience with rejection, betrayal and loss–as well as her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach–is empowering women to BE and LET BE. Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at www.CatrinaWelch.com

Finding Confidence in the Chaos

May 3, 2014Beauty, Confidence, Faith, Lifebeauty, confidence, forgivenessCatrina

I love cleaning. Maybe it’s because I am so easily distracted, but I am far more engaged in a clutter-free environment that sparkles and shines. For me, cleanliness creates confidence.

I didn’t recognize my love for cleaning until I had my own home; before that I felt like it was a tedious requirement that I always failed at. When my husband built our home, I found that anything misplaced or dirty stood out like a sore thumb because everything was so new, but it also had a place to go so I could easily clean it up–especially since I was a stay-at-home mom then. Sustaining the beauty of my home became a rewarding challenge.

Now I work outside the home and my kids are older with busy social lives. With all the traffic and little downtime, it’s not as easy to maintain the laundry, dishes and paperwork. I’m sure you know what I mean. When life gets chaotic, we need to take some time to bring back the order so that we don’t become completely stressed over the little things–like finding sox.

Our soul is like our home. We cannot really shine with confidence or beauty unless we have a thorough cleaning. The reflection we see in our mirror, no matter how perfect, will always feel like a mess in our soul until we experience forgiveness.

We need to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we have made.
We need to forgive others who have wounded our hearts.

Unfortunately, most of us wait until there is so much to forgive (or clean up) that we don’t even know where to start–so we just keep going through life, making more messes.

I believe that the secret to lasting confidence and beauty is allowing God to do the major cleaning. When we take a moment to stop and accept the forgiveness that Jesus offers us, we are empowered to forgive all the little offenses that come daily. Try it. I bet you will find that sustaining the beauty of your soul is actually a rewarding challenge once everything is fresh and clean.

*****

Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker who is using her 30 years in the beauty industry to help women understand their personal Image Identity (Img.ID) and overcome Image Issues that affect their Confidence. Her message is empowering women to BE and LET BE. You can now find her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at www.CatrinaWelch.com

5 Reasons Feeling Beautiful Affects a Woman’s Relationships

April 23, 2014Beauty, Confidence, Faith, Life, Personal Stylebeauty, Classic, confidence, Dramatic, Gamine, image, Img.ID, Ingenue, Natural, RomanticCatrina

Confidence is what makes a woman beautiful, but feeling beautiful is what makes her confident.

So, what makes you feel beautiful?

A) A professionally coordinated outfit
B) Being casual and comfortable
C) Makeup and accessories
D) Soft, flowing dresses or blouses
E) Finding something that fits!
F) Wearing strong colors, like black

The answer is different for each style of woman, but when you know, for instance, that completing your outfit with a little makeup will make you feel beautiful, then eyeliner becomes your key to self-confidence (at least until it wears off!). Understanding what makes you feel beautiful is helpful for other reasons as well:

If you feel beautiful, you are. Even on a bad-hair-day, you can leave a good first impression if your attitude shows no shame (and no need for apologies) because it shows that imperfection does not cause you to stumble or become self-consumed.
Confidence gives you moxie, which empowers you to step out of your comfort zone and get involved in people’s lives.
Self-confidence builds the confidence others have in you. If you don’t like you, why should anyone else?
People are less likely to misjudge you. If you feel beautiful, most likely you are dressing true to your character–unlike a bold woman dressed like a delicate girl–which means you are not giving mixed messages.
People are more likely to offer themselves to someone who is true to herself. If your beauty seems as if you are trying to be someone you are not, then others will put up their guard around you.

All this being said, relationships are what life is all about and if feeling beautiful is a factor in making our relationships good, then I think that taking care of ourselves is a win-win, don’t you?

If you don’t know which style of beauty you are, be sure to take my complimentary Image Identity (Img.ID) quiz on my website, or contact me for an individual or group image assessment.

*****

Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing our Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

Becoming Confident About Convictions

April 16, 2014Confidence, Faith, Lifebalance, confidence, fears, graceCatrina

What a joy it was to help Faith Assembly of God with their celebration of Palm Sunday! I learned so much while painting the adorable faces of children from all over Hyannis. Some of their requests cracked me up. These kids were either adamant about having me create what they struggled to communicate, or they were timid and fearful to ask for what they wanted. I especially loved the little boy who wanted to be a vampire (even after I reminded him that Easter is about good defeating evil) and the older girl who asked her mom for permission to get a heart on her hand and then needed mom’s approval for the color it would be. Precious.

These kids made me think of my life as I have grown in my faith. There was a time that I thought face painting might be wrong and I was like the older girl–fearful of doing anything that might break the rules. I also had convictions–or desires–like the little boy (although mine were more in line with my nickname of “goodie two shoes”) that I would put my foot down and speak my mind about as if I knew it all. Take divorce, for example, I used to make people feel so guilty for their failed marriage. “You can always work it out; have some faith!” Then my (first) husband left me and, after I did all I could to keep him, I learned that I have no jurisdiction over anyone else’s choices and what happens in my live does not have to define me.

Life has a way of tweaking our convictions, doesn’t it? I know we can become more judgmental, bull-headed or timid if we allow our circumstances to build our fear, but I prefer to believe that if we are learn from life and work out our faith, confidence begins to conquer those fears and we become more balanced and peaceful. Kind of like the little boy who decided he didn’t want to be scary after all and had me paint Batman on his face instead.

If you are feeling the pressures of other people’s developing convictions, be careful to guard your heart from taking offence to their immaturity. Think of them like you would a child who is still figuring out what he believes and give them the grace to grow. After all, someone was patient with you in your developing years.

*****

Helplessly Helpful

March 29, 2014Faith, Greif, Lifeconfidence conflicts, Grief, peace, trisomy 18Catrina

With so much neglect, abuse and addiction running ramped in our society, what do you do when you want to help someone you really care about but you just don’t know how to help?

Undoubtedly, every one of us has faced an emotional, spiritual or physical difficulties that we can be confident that others will survive. After all, we did. But helping a friend with something that we have no understanding of can truly be a challenge. The people we love do not deserve inadequate assistance–not on their good days and certainly not when their need is exposed and vulnerable. Half-hearted counsel from someone who cannot relate to the crisis at hand is a bit like offering them a squirt gun to put out their house fire.

I’ve been on the receiving end of that kind of help during my grief. “Don’t worry, you can always have another child.” “At least you don’t have a lot of memories with your daughter.” Logic doesn’t always help. I get it, because I tried that method of helping for many years but I have leaned now that true compassion respects other people’s boundaries and that includes their emotions and their will. You and I cannot fix every problem and unfortunately, letting other people make their own choices can be a lot harder than taking control. It’s also very difficult when they are ready for help and we don’t know what to do. In that situation I am learning to follow the example of Jesus’ disciples.

Act 3:2-8 Now a man who was lame from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!” So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.

Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God.

If you are trying to help someone with circumstances that are far out of your league of understanding, don’t try to forge up feelings of empathy or fix it with advice you’ve never had to take; instead simply direct them to the One who is able to really help.

*****

Are Cliques Bad?

March 7, 2014Confidence, Faith, Lifeconfidence, confidence conflicts, priorities, relationships, working womanCatrina

Cliques. Nobody likes them unless they are them.

Girlfriends who are having a good time together can (purposely or unmindfully) snub those around them, and if you are the one left out of the fun it can make you feel like an outsider. While these kinds of situations can rock the confidence of some women more than others, none of us like to be left out. But it happens. In fact, the more starved women are for “girlfriend time,” the more selfish we can be with what little of it we get and the more sensitive we can be about being snubbed.

When my kids were young I was able to be home with them and I had lots of time with friends in the same situation. It’s not that the kids, home and husbands didn’t keep us busy, but we would juggle our chores together. “Girlfriend time” was coffee in the minivan going on “lullaby rides.” We would go to the post office, dry cleaners, etc. while taking turns watching the sleeping babies so each mom could run in and out quickly. After stretching their naps out with a ride by the beaches, we would grab groceries together–one of us would use plastic bags, the other paper–and then go to each others homes to put them away. Talking, laughing, holding each other’s babies while the chores got done. Good times. Productive, fulfilling times.

Now girlfriend time is more of a luxury that few women allow themselves. The only non-digital social time we really get is with the people who are involved in our already busy lives–they work, worship, network, carpool, or cheer at the kids games with us.

But really, is that so wrong?

Maybe what we need is to be more “cliquey” and start enjoying any girlfriend time we can get–even if it’s at the school event that we didn’t have time for and feel so awkward at. Maybe we need to notice more when others are longing to get in on our conversations and start include more people in our lives. Maybe it’s time we start juggling our chores together again and taking ourselves for a lullaby ride by the beaches.

*****

Catrina Welch, author, speaker

CONFIDENT BEAUTY Image- and Life-Coaching

Category Archives: Faith

He Desires Your Beauty

For your royal husband delights in your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord. Psalms 45:11 NLT