Life is a journey in search for significance. Our innate desire to be valued is apparent as soon as we enter this world. Newborns thrive when they feel loved; a neglected baby suffers not only emotionally but physically. Each of us is born with a strong desire to know who we are. A child is like a thirsty sponge, soaking up knowledge through experience, words, actions or expectations. It is only natural that she assumes that what she learns is truth. One experience can develop an entire belief system before she is mature enough to reason whether it is true, tainted or opinionated. Unless she revisits what she believes she may not even realize she is basing that area of her life on a lie.A little girl is applauded for dancing in her dress-up clothes. She believes she is worthy of attention and decides she must demand it. Another girl is condemned for the same foolish and frivolous way of showing off. She becomes embarrassed by her desire to look lovely and decides not to be vulnerable again. A young lady finds it easy to turn heads. She believe the attention she gets is her worth any sacrifice she needs to make. Another girl feels invisible, she decides that attempting to look good is a waste of time.
As we develop our individuality we need to decide: do we accept our belief system, or rebel against it? I think most of us do a mixture of both–especially when we are teens–and then eventually we settle on what we want to believe. Some of areas of our life are easier than others:A new wife offers a meal that her husband does not like. His comments make her believe she is a bad cook, but she continues to do her best anyway.
Unless she is attacked personally or has a big dream in that area (i.e.. cooking), most insults don’t rock a mature woman’s confidence. Tell her she can’t clean and she might laugh. Tell her she looks old or ugly and she might cry… or fight, or shut down emotionally. Whatever her response–even if it is stuffed away and hidden from sight–it will be strong if the area is her beauty, and helping her sort out what she believes may take a bit more effort than telling her you were just joking.
If you have ever battled with emotions about your image, I encourage you to take a look at what you believe about yourself. Discovering self-confidence takes some serious self-discovery. Dare to be like a child again. You have mature reasoning now, maybe it’s time to let go of some of the decisions you made when you were younger. For help walking through these questions, be sure to check out my Bible Study on this topic, Supreme MakeOver, a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience.
Catrina Welch is an inspirational author and speaker whose personal experience with overcoming rejection, betrayal and loss–as well as her expertise as a cosmetologist, image consultant and Biblical life-coach–is empowering women to BE and LET BE.
Her latest book, CONFIDENT BEAUTY: Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul, is now available in your favorite bookstores. Autographed copies of all her books are available on her website at www.CatrinaWelch.com