Do you Feel Like an Ugly Duckling?

The primary factor in determining your Personal Image Identity (Img.ID) is your physical appearance. Just as a rose by any other name is still a rose, so are you the style of beauty that your physical attributes indicate that you are. Anyone could say that a rose is just a flower, or they could call it ugly, old, deformed or anything else, but it is still a rose.

People may point out your commonality, or they may critique your every attribute, but when you get down to the core of who you are, the truth is, you are beautiful.

Every flower is beautiful, no matter which species, whether it is budding or beginning to dry out. It doesn’t matter its size or color. This is also true of you. You may feel as if you are too old, have gained too much weight, or hate your coloring, but you are still beautiful. People may have told you that your nose is too big or picked on your differences, but focus on anything too closely and you may miss it’s beauty, too. In order to make peace with your beauty, you must take a step back and focus on the bigger picture. 

Assessing your style is learning your species.

Imagine a beautiful bouquet of flowers. What makes it captivating? Isn’t it diversity that draws you in to enjoy it? Think of how the variety of shapes, colors and textures compliment each other. Even in a bouquet of one species of flowers, the various sizes and shapes are what make it interesting and inviting.

Knowing your style does not take away from your individuality. No two roses look alike, nor do you look like any other woman with the same style. Within the rose family there are many varieties of sizes, shapes and colors. The same is true for each style of beauty.

Culture and genetics are major influences on your Img.ID

A quick glance at any group of women will prove there is a huge variety of beauty, even within kinsfolk. In Asia, a majority of the women may have petite figures, dark hair and angular features, but none of them look alike. In Sweden, most people have fair coloring, yet the variety of clothing personalities is astounding. In America we have a melting pot of styles. Still, every woman fits into one or two of the six different styles of feminine beauty. Discerning which style(s) you are is much like learning your heritage.

Discovering your style is understanding your heart. 

Remember the story of the Ugly Duckling, who had Image Issues because she was so different than the ducks until she discovered that she was actually a beautiful swan? Perhaps you were raised in a culture very different than your authentic style. This is alone can create Confidence Conflicts, but unveiling your personal Image Identity (Img.ID) can bring you a break though just like the cygnet felt when she found her family of origin. We don’t always recognize our own beauty, gifts or potential. Too often we are looking at ourselves through the eyes, actions an words of others instead of trying to understand ourselves.

If you are not happy with how you look, I encourage you to take a step back and consider the bigger picture. There is no peace in trying to alter your appearance. Stop wrestling with who you are and how you look. Instead, give yourself a fair assessment and accept the truth and learn how to accentuate your assets. I promise you, it will set you free.

If you feel like a single rose in a bouquet of daisies, do not condemn your differences, embrace them, pull your shoulders back and stand out allow God to use you (for His glory, not your own)! If you are one of many daisies wishing you stood out, I encourage you to stop striving and just BE who you were designed to be. When you learn to love and accept yourself the way that your Creator does, you will become a true, confident beauty, which does stand out in a world where  so many women are distracted by their own Image Issues. Once you find peace within, you can share it with others.


As an author and speaker, my passion is in helping women and girls overcome Image Issues, so that they can become women of Confident Beauty, which doesn’t wear off like makeup does!

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