Does your Beauty Fit into a Box?

One of the biggest push-backs I get as an image consultant comes from the fear of bing analyzed. It seems that many people assume that being told which style they are is like being put into a box. In truth, however, knowing which “box” you fit into breaks the walls that can hold you back from being true to yourself–like the Ugly Duckling that I blogged about last week.

Many of us are brought up in a culture that confines us to the definition of beauty that our influencers hold us to. It may be that your mom likes things done “properly” but you don’t notice details and feel as if you just didn’t meet the standard set before you.

Maybe you do care about details and love to make things beautiful, but your family does not. Perhaps they belittled you for your concerns and to this day you hold back from being a woman of excellence because you feel as if it is selfish or prideful?

Altering your appearance is exhausting.

When the little swan discovered her true identity, she no longer had to strive to fit in with the ducks. She was liberated from all the expectations and disappointments put on her. Life suddenly made sense: the ducks weren’t wrong, but neither was she! They were just different. With this understanding she found the freedom to look and act the way that came naturally to her. She broke out of the box!

Perhaps most women fear an image consultation because they think it will only confirm that they do not meet the standard of beauty set before them. Yet, from my experience, the exact opposite is what happens. Instead of being confined to more fashion rules and regulations, they “find themselves” and no longer feel the need to be a style that they are not.

I’ve witnessed this transformation happen to many women and I know of nothing more beautiful! It is a Supreme MakeOver because it is not about being made over.

Accepting your identity is liberating.

Most of us have a certain respect for those who break out of the box and decide to make something of themselves. It’s honorable to “come out” and be honest about your desire to be something new. But it’s not always self-respecting. Imagine if one of the ducks that that little swans grew up with decided she wanted to be a swan, too. She didn’t look like a swan and she didn’t act like a swan, she just thought swans were prettier, so she decided to get a wing enhancement, beak reduction, facelift, bleach job and even had her neck stretched out.

That duck may eventually become satisfied with her image identity, but it’s not likely that it will happen right away because she is striving to transform her authentic beauty, whereas the swan who thought she was a duck was transformed into a Confident Beauty with one revelation about herself. One bird had an ambitious decision to be “better” the other came to accept who she already was.

Which story would you rather read to your little girl at bedtime?

Knowing, accepting and accentuating your style is Confident Beauty

People are complicated and understanding yourself is no easy task, but it’s a whole lot easier when you let go of the burden of comparison. If you or someone you know is struggling to look, act or be someone other than who you were designed to be, I encourage you to start with grace. Stop looking at yourself with a critical eye. Make a decision to accept yourself. You are not a mistake, honor your Creator by respecting how He made you. You do not have to change how you look. Just BE the best you you can be.

“Listen, O daughter, Consider and incline your ear; Forget your own people also, and your father’s house; So the King will greatly desire your beauty; Because He is your Lord, worship Him.”             -Psalms 45:10-11 NKJV


A woman of Confident Beauty not only accepts her authentic beauty, but learns how to accentuate her best parts. There are more “tricks to the trade” than wearing black to look slimmer. I’d love to share my list of image illusion ideas with you.  Please click here  to join my (occasional) email list and receive a FREE downloadable list of image illusions that will help you hide figure flaws and accentuate your assets.

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