Favor is Deceitful – 3 Reasons Why


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In honor of all the moms who have ever had a child turn on them and say, “I hate you!” I dedicate this blog to you.

God’s Word  is a lot like a fire hydrant: far more powerful than a refreshing drink of water. Perhaps this is what Jesus was alluding to when He told the Samaritan woman that, “those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” in John 4:14

Let’s consider a small section of one verse for example.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Proverbs 31:30

What does the Bible mean by, “charm is deceptive” (or “favor is deceitful”)?

I write a lot about Proverbs 31 Beauty, but now that my life is so involved with the deceitful world of addiction, I feel as though I could write another book to address the first part of verse 30. For now, however, I will simply make 3 bullet points, lest this blog becomes like a fire hydrant:

  1. Charm is often superficial, a means of distraction: kind words, sweet gestures, appropriate actions  may very well be hiding a hard or hateful heart. Be careful of those who are not sincere.
  2. Charm is a powerful tool, which tempts the selfish soul to “sweet talk” others into their own way. Be careful not to manipulate others in order to … (keep the job, avoid a fight, get their way, win favor.) 
  3. Charm is seductive–even when it is sincere. When we treat others well, we win their favor and it is a wonderful feeling… until we mess up or they disagree… or our “charm” convicts them and makes them angry.

You don’t have to love an addict to understand what I’m talking about here. I’m raising an infant,  and as perfectly adorable as my grand girl is, even she turns on me if I say no! The point is:

Favor is deceitful. 

If we want to be confident and influential, then we need to recognize the force behind this “refreshing” scripture. We will not always have the favor of those we love. Human nature will easily turn against those who do not give us our way. There will be times when our own offspring will “hate” us because we hold them accountable or keep our boundaries. There will also be times when we are the ones that hurt them.

But it’s not their favor that we should strive for.

We cannot expect anyone to give us unconditional love; and in reality, we cannot love others perfectly. Only God can.  But even if we did love each other like God does, we still would not always please each other, and that’s ok because love is far stronger than charm. 

Proverb 15:33As much as we want our children (and grands) to be charming and lovable, wouldn’t we rather that that they are strong and sincere?

It’s easy to become caught up in the stress of striving to please others, but the secret to keeping the favor of others, is found in the end of the verse (Proverbs 31:30) and throughout many other Proverbs: the fear (or respect) of the Lord, which causes us to love others like He does, even when it’s hard.

Stay strong, momma. Happy Mother’s Day. 


As an author and speaker, my passion is to help women and children overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, I love to use my profession, along with my experiences and training as a Biblical life-coach to help others struggling. If you want to make difference, too, would you share this blog? I’d love to connect with you on Facebook, Twitter,  Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads  


One response to “Favor is Deceitful – 3 Reasons Why”

  1. avatar
    Natalia Wallace

    I’m so blessed to have you in our lives!!!

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