Is Fashion Foolish?

Confident Beauty respects herselfMy grandmother was known around Wellfleet as, “the lady with the hair.” She died at 67 still having a long, red mane, which was always tied back loosely with a simple scarf. As a little girl I was in awe of her confident beauty.

Some people think it is shallow, selfish or vain that so much of a woman’s confidence is rooted in her beauty. But how many of those people feel the same way about a man’s need for strength?

Men are respected for their desire to be strong. Women are expected to be beautiful, yet they are considered foolish for following fashion and assumed conceited when do they look good. This confusing message causes an inner turmoil that I call the “Beauty Battle” and it wages war within every feminine heart starting at a young age. The battle climaxes in our teens and twenties and continues throughout middle age, when we find on a means of coping with it. Some of us decide to hate our beauty and hide it, others strive to attain it, determined not to give up, but very few do not get hung up on it somehow. Studies show that most women don’t really feel confident until they are about 60 years old. It seems that maturity is the key that settles the heart and allows for a peaceful balance of emotions. Mature women no longer consider beauty:

  • So important that they are consumed with it.
  • So shallow or foolish that they are ashamed by it.

Instead, they enjoy beauty (even their own!), and respect the human nature with all its confusions.

Maturity releases the trap of comparison because life has a way of developing proper perspective on what really matters. No wonder wisdom teaches us to learn from our elders! I wish my grandma were still around to help me with my confidence conflicts.

If you have a confident woman in your life, be sure to invest some time with her. If you have experienced victory in the Beauty Battle, be sure to share your wisdom with the younger women in your life and have grace for them while they work their confidence out.


Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing our Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at


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