When did the quest to find yourself begin? Did you know who you were as a little girl? Did you discover your true identity in High school? Did your passion, purpose and personality suddenly reveal itself, or was it a progressive unveiling?
Who am I?
Most of us question our identity throughout our lives. We begin by roleplaying with our Barbie dolls and continue testing and attempting various attitudes and approaches throughout adolescence. As we try various sports, arts, hobbies and studies. Slowly we discover our likes and dislikes.
As we mature, we learn to relate to others and begin to solidify our opinions and interests, but many of us continue to “play house” well into the season of managing one for real, because we still have not found peace with our true self.
We continue to seek answers about our identity. We observe others and see attitudes and actions we want to emulate. Or challenge.
I wish I could do/look/be like….
I don’t like the way so-and-so….
Too often we are either competing or critiquing.
Like little girls fighting over one doll, we see each other as a threat before we even recognize that we could play together.
- A beautiful woman enters a group of ladies and immediately their guard goes up. Instead of seeing her for who she is, they look at themselves and compare what they have to offer. Why should you feel as if you are not beautiful just because someone else is?
- An unprepared woman enters a group of dressy ladies and immediately her guard goes up. Instead of offering herself as she is, she feels vulnerable and shamed. Why should you feel less valuable just because you are not decked-out?
You BE you.
In high school I decided to give up all other extra circular activities and focus only on tennis. I felt released from the pressure I felt to understand the various formations and positions I had to play in team sports.
I was in my early-twenties when I learned about personalities and thirty-two when I learned about clothing styles. I stopped feeling guilty that I would rather visit friends than complete a task list and began to accept that my body structure was simply part of my authentic beauty.
All of these experiences were extremely liberating because each of them brought me more understanding of myself and released me from the trap of comparison.
Understanding yourself is key to finding peace. Your personality is a big indicator of your personal Img.ID: C: introvert / task oriented (The Classic) N: Introvert / people oriented (To the Natural) D: extrovert / people oriented (The Dramatic) I: extrovert / people oriented (The Ingénue) R: introvert / people oriented (The Romantic) G: extrovert / task oriented (The Gamine) Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.
If you find yourself comparing or critiquing yourself or others, I encourage you to go back to exploring. Try on some new styles, and see how you feel in them. For you this may mean wearing bright, bold colors, or it may mean picking up a tennis racket, writing a task list or throwing a party. Whatever you do, examine your heart. Does this “fit”? Does this attitude, action or attire suit you well? If you feel inspired, energized and confident, then it very well may be that you have reached another new level of finding yourself.
If it doesn’t suit you well, let it go. There is no peace in trying to be someone you are not. Some styles are not meant for you to wear, but that doesn’t mean you can’t admire them on someone else. In fact, when you begin to truly enjoy other styles without longing to wear them, then you know you have found peace with who you were designed to be.
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