What a great time of year for a wedding on Cape Cod! I’m excited to be part of a multinational one this weekend. Working with a German bride has been so much fun! I don’t know if it’s her culture, her strong Christian faith or her beautiful temperament, but preparing a bride for her most photographed day is not always this peaceful and pleasant.
Weddings can be extremely stressful for women of any nationality–and not just for the bride. In some ways its even harder for the bridesmaids who will also be photographed all day. At least the bride pick’s her own gown. Well usually. Women who don’t get a say in their attire face some serious Confidence Conflicts.
Formal events only intensify the image issues in a woman’s heart. At a wedding, the guest will gaze upon the bride’s beauty and she certainly feels that pressure, but her bridesmaids also have to walk down that isle with all eyes on them! This is especially hard when she doesn’t like the dress the bride picked out.
So why do these girls give in to wearing what they don’t like? In my experience, there are three reasons:
- The bride has a strong opinion of what she likes (and even compliant girls will speak up since it is her day.)
- The bridesmaid doesn’t really know (or know how to appropriately say) what she likes.
- It is culturally expected and accepted for the bridesmaids to give up their will for the bride’s.
Personally, I feel bad about putting my Romantic girlfriends in Dramatic gowns, but honestly, I (like most young brides) didn’t know how to BE or LET BE when I got married. If I had, I would have followed the now popular tradition of allowing the girls to choose any dress in the bride’s chosen color. I love this tradition; it shows unity yet gives room for individuality.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t solve the problem completely–unless the bride chooses a color that all her friends love. Which can be done if she chooses a neutral color that compliments all skin tones, but that’s a blog for another day.
If you are getting ready to walk down the aisle in a wedding ceremony, I commend you for supporting your friend on her important day. If you don’t love your dress, remember that your confidence is what’s most beautiful and don’t let self-consciousness rob your joy. Focus on serving the bride well and enjoying the celebration.
John 15:13 (NKJV)
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.