Tag Archives: confidence conflicts

3 Steps to Love Yourself Better

Raising a child is no easy task.

As parents, we learn as we go, making mistakes, but doing the best we can. There’s things we swore we would never do, yet we do them. There’s child-rearing techniques we thought were brilliant, that we learned were not. With each child we learn more; and then we become grandparents…

There are many benefits of grand-parenting over parenting. Personally, I feel the greatest part is in seeing the challenges and rewards from a different perspective.
Motherhood was a great portion of my personal identity. If my kids did well, I felt good about myself. If they were at risk or made poor choices, I felt like a failure. Raising my granddaughter is different.

The Value of Life-lessons

You know those times when something happens that beckons an intimate talk about life? I loved those special moments when I was rearing my own children. (Teaching is my passion.) I’m not so sure my kids loved those moments, though, because I realize now that I was putting too much pressure on them. When the opportunity arrises now, life-lessons are no longer urgent and demanding because I am no longer concerned with my own identity in the matter. Life-lessons are all about my granddaughter’s success, not mine. I am not afraid of her mistakes, I know they will teach her better than I can, so she is allowed to mess up and I am allowed to enjoy witnessing her development.

Teaching opportunities are even more precious when we are not driven to fix, lecture or pressure the children in our lives. The milk has spilled. Ok, let’s not cry, let’s simply clean it up together.

Life just taught her to be careful next time; I don’t need to.

The lesson is no longer, “Don’t do that!” when we realize that our panicked or controlling response could break her character. If she feels that her mistakes or messes are pitiful, then our “wisdom” will only produce shame.

By calmly cleaning up the mess with her, we are far more effective in showing her that our love is unconditional, which is really the greatest life-lesson we could ever teach any child.

Most of us mom’s get this when it comes to handling “boo boos.” We ask to see what hurts, we kiss it, then we give it a pretty bandaid–even if she doesn’t need one. We instinctively know how to love a child through her hurts.

The Value of Validation

A kiss makes a boo boo “all better” because it gives validation to the pain.

Catrina welch

Perhaps it’s their tears that makes a boo boo different from a mistake. Tears call to our momma heart. It’s easy to console a child that is crying because that mistake doesn’t threaten our identity, it validates our worth.

Oh, how I wish I had used my “teaching opportunities” to love my children when they messed up–not only when they hurt. Now that they are grown, I see how they are just like me… and most other adults I know.

Mistakes make us feel ashamed, and shame is a major Confidence Conflict. While we certainly should not blame our parents–for they, too, were only learning–we are wise to look at what we learned as children.

How you respond to mistakes is a big indicator of your Img.ID:

C: The Classic may quietly work harder to make things better.

N: The Natural may do her best to pretend it didn’t happen.

D: The Dramatic may be boisterously devastated or demanding.

I: The Ingénue may accept all blame and become self-loathing.

R: The Romantic may become consumed with helping others feel better.

G: The Gamine may take charge to make things right, or demand you do.

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

To take my FREE Image Identity Quiz

click here

Each of us respond differently, but our stressing and striving; our hating and hiding; our hangups and habits all give indication that our mistakes–or the fear of them–are still a Confidence Conflict. Our goal, of course, is to grow and mature in our responses, but for many of us, the fear of failure still shows up late in life.

Our children deserve more.

We can’t love anyone through their mistakes until we learn to love ourselves through our own.

I am far better at loving my granddaughter through her mistakes because I have learned to love myself through my own. I believe this is only possible because, by God’s grace, I have come to accept His unconditional love toward me.

How about you? How do you treat yourself when you mess up? If you are ready to let go of the fear of failure and begin to love yourself unconditionally, I encourage you to treat yourself as you would a child with a “boo boo”:

  1. Acknowledge what hurts. A wound that is not validated will not heal. God sees your pain, talk to Him about it.
  2. Accept a kiss. There is great value in being vulnerable enough to ask for help & healing. God loves when you come to Him like a little child.
  3. Put a pretty bandaid on it. It’s not about hiding the hurt, it’s about protecting it. Self care is an important part of maturing.

Each of us respond differently, but our stressing and striving; our hating and hiding; our hangups and habits all give indication that our mistakes–or the fear of them–are still major Confidence Conflicts.

CATRINA WELCH.COM/BLOG

As an author and speaker, my passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, I love to use my profession, along with my experiences and training as a Biblical life-coach to help others struggling. If you want to make difference, too, would you help share this blog and connect with me on Facebook, Twitter,  Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads 

3 Poor Places to Look for Self-worth

Confidence,

My granddaughter is entering the age of princess preoccupation. It’s a beautiful thing to witness the joy of a child who is excited about who she is. I dread the day she begins to loose her confidence and doubts her self-worth. But it happens. Somewhere along the line, imagination fades and reality sets in. 

In our formative years we are constantly looking to and learning from everything around us for the sole purpose of self-discovery. Playing dress up is more about finding answers, then it is about looking lovely. 

Am I lovely? Am I loved?

Unfortunately, we do not always get the answers we want, because we tend to look for our identity in dim mirrors. There are 3 particular mirrors that give us a poor reflection, yet we use them to judge ourselves all the time.

1. Upbringing

Of course we decide who we are and what we are worth by the projected opinion of those who are rearing us. They are the ones teaching us everything else, why shouldn’t we look to them to answer our deep, personal questions?

“Who am I?” Am I valued?

The problem with looking to our teachers and parents for these answers is that they may very well be struggling with self-confidence themselves. Many parents put a lot of pressure on their children regarding their appearance, accomplishments, strengths, abilities, aptitude  or behavior because they are looking to the child to fulfill their own need to be valuable.

2. Comparison

Throughout our lives we compare ourselves to others. This is natural and can be a positive motivation. It can also be very negative. 

Far too often we devalue something about ourselves that we should appreciate, except that our sister or friend is not (tall, quiet, athletic, etc). How silly we are to look at someone else’s reflection to find our value! That would be like choosing an apple and being upset because it doesn’t taste like an orange. 

3. Media 

There is no stopping the pressures on our identity by the culture around us. Confidence Conflicts are being placed before us all the time. Magazine covers in the grocery isle, billboards on the highway, commercials on TV, and yes, indeed, all the tiny glimpses into our friends’ perfect lives through the filters of social media. They scream at us, “get your act together!” 

But I don’t like acting, do you?

I’m tiered of looking into dim, puzzling mirrors and feeling as if I will never measure up. There’s only one mirror that gives a clear reflection, that is where I will look for my true identity.

Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

1 Cor. 13:12 

If you, too, have been seeing yourself poorly, I invite you to look to the the One who actually knows you completely. Think about it: the Maker of Heaven and Earth personally chose each and every attribute that He gave you. He deeply loves and dearly values you, His precious daughter. Perhaps it’s time we look to the KING OF KINGS for our true identity and start acting like a PRINCESS again.

To take my FREE quiz and learn your Image Identity, click here.

***** 

As an author and speaker, my passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, I love to use my profession, along with my experiences and training as a Biblical life-coach to help others struggling. If you want to make difference, too, would you share this blog and connect with me on Facebook, Twitter,  Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads  or consider having me speak at your next event. Visit https://catrinawelch.com for more information.

Get catrina’s books on Amazon

cluttered room

Do You Cry Over Spilled Milk?

Confidence, Life, , ,

As a young adult renting my home, I wasn’t very concerned with how it looked. Once I owned a house, however, I took great pride in how clean, organized and decorated it was. My husband built our first home, so perhaps my experience of taking ownership is more drastic than yours, but suddenly I cared.
A lot.
A simple mess–and since everything was new, that could be anything–caused this momma to go into an unkind panic as she dashed to clean it up. We had worked so hard to create our home, so there were strong emotions attached to my fear that it could all be ruined!

Even if you don’t own your home, you may also have strong, emotional reactions over “spilled milk.” Why? Because our homes are a representation of ourselves and we want our lives to be in order. Who doesn’t want their home to be the place to relax, unwind and be at peace. In fact, our whole family should be able to enjoy our home as a safe haven.

Unfortunately, our homes are not always havens.

If cleanliness is next to godliness, then certainly clutter creates the opposite.

Cleanliness is far more important to some of us than it is to others, but no matter what your style of housekeeping, life often interrupts our neat little corner of the world and suddenly junk-drawers are jamming, the refrigerator is sticky, the oven is smoking and the crumbs on the floor will bring out the unkindness!

For me, it’s a bit of a catch 22: When I’m happy–and busy–I leave a trail behind my whirlwind and it isn’t long before the mess starts spreading to my heart and I get irritable from the lack of ability to keep order or find anything. When I’m irritable and “unkind”, I clean like a mad woman. When my life is ugly, it helps me find my “godliness” by making my house look pretty again.

How you keep your home is a big indicator of your Img.ID:

  • C: Classic: is organized in her mind, but her counters, desks and drawers may be a mess. She knows where things are, though, so don’t move anything on her! Her home is often unfinished or under furnished because she wants things done properly but has trouble making decisions or accepting help.
  • N: Natural tends to be unorganized. Her home may be dirty, dusty and run down, but she’s so laid back that she may not even notice the mess, and it certainly doesn’t bother her.
  • D: Dramatic is an extremest and her home is no exception. Where she lives may be either completely out of control with piles of laundry and dishes, etc. or exceptionally organized, immaculate and embellished.
  • I: Ingénue is full of compassion and creativity, which may be very evident in her beautifully decorated home. She tends to take good care of her home, but she may become overwhelmed by the work. Finding a system for the upkeep will help any of us, but especially the Ingénue.
  • R: Romantic may also be overwhelmed by her chores, but this girl actually enjoys housework. She especially loves baking. Creating an atmosphere that makes others comfortable is actually her expertise. It is important, however, that she guards her heart when her efforts are not acknowledged.
  • G: Gamine likes things in order and cleanliness is very important to her. She tends to have no problem delegating her responsibilities. If she has no help and cannot afford to hire some, she desperately needs a system to follow in order to keep up the house without getting grouchy about it.

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

To take my FREE quiz and learn your Image Identity, click here.

confident beauty image coaching

As a young woman, I thought of cleaning as an unfair expectation put on the less-than-gender. I resented having to pick up after my brothers, and later: husband and children. I compared my endless efforts to their seemingly simple home lives. After work/school, I was the one to make dinner, clean it up, give baths and prepare lunches for the next day while they got to relax or play.

Then I realized that I actually like to clean and organize and that having the house in order was something I wanted, but my family really didn’t care if it was messy or not. No wonder my requests for help seemed so oppressive to them! Truth be told, my mom’s request felt the same way–and I suppose that was why I thought I hated the chore.

A change of mindset changes everything.

Once I realized that I actually enjoy cleaning, I stoped nagging everyone else to help me, which truly changed the atmosphere of my home. Not only did my family stop running away from me, but since I was cleaning up with a cheerful heart, they were happy to pitch in now and then. I no longer looked at the household chores as an unfair job; instead I saw them as an enjoyable ministry to the ones I love the most. I began to create ways to make the chores interactive and teachable for my kids with the hope that, one day, cleaning would be fun for them as well.

My greatest creation was the game created to keep me from nagging my kids to put things away, while keeping them in shape.  

The Buy Back Bin: a rubber made placed out of reach in a closet used to place toys, jackets, sox, etc. found on the floor. When requested, the item may be "bought back" for the price of (10) push ups or sit ups (the child’s choice).


So how do you feel about cleaning?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on what you do to create a calm and enjoyable home for your family. Do you take full responsibility for the housework or is it a shared effort? If so, have you found any fun ways to orchestrate the chores in a way that does not cause your kids to feel oppressed by the work?

***** 

As an author and speaker, my passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, I love to use my profession, along with my experiences and training as a Biblical life-coach to help others struggling. If you want to make difference, too, would you help share this blog and connect with me on Facebook, Twitter,  Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads 

CONFIDENT BEAUTY Image- and Life-Coaching

Get catrina’s books on Amazon

Confidence During Ugly Times

Confidence, Life,

It’s been a bit of an ugly season. The many challenges, disappointments and difficult changes of these past few years have discouraged many of us. Add any personal crisis to Covid and all the cultural chaos, and all ambition is gone with the wind. 

I stopped writing. 

Just I was ready to blog again, I discovered my neglected website had been hijacked. At first, the thousands of inappropriate blogs posted by the hacker knocked me down and discouraged me even more. In cleaning up the infractions on my reputation, however, I discovered something that motivated me to get back up.

Regardless of the fact that “the world shut down” (or that I did!), there was one post in my archive that continued to get multiple visits every day from all around the world:

Favor is Deceitful and Beauty is Vain

Apparently, whether we are stuck at home or out in public–and regardless of the threat of sickness, riots or war–there are women, of all ages, nationalities and styles that continue to wrestle with one question: If beauty is vain, am I a bad person because I want to look good?

My website stats reveal the secret search that so many women are seeking–especially when they are hurting. Of course, it is far better to search God’s Word for the longings of our hearts, but some of scripture is very hard to understand.

Favor is Deceitful and Beauty is Vain but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised – Proverbs 31:30

It encouraged me to learn that a blog about my own struggle with this verse (find it here), and the revelation that came from it, could possibly be helping others with their own Beauty Battle.

There’s other challenging scriptures, like 1 Peter 3:3-4, which raise more questions about Image Issues. In my book, Confident Beauty, Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and In Your Soul I wrote about a number of these verses, but perhaps it’s time I blogged about them, too?

It’s the life-lessons that we struggle with the most that hold the deepest meaning–and make us most qualified to teach. 

Catrina welch

Yes, the past few years were quite ugly, but I’ve rediscovered the beauty of giving my pain the purpose of helping others. My confidence is renewed and my passion revived. I’m ready to put myself out there again. How about you? 

If you’ve lost your way and are running on empty, I encourage you to remember who you are and recommit to your purpose. Don’t waist your pain, there’s someone who needs the lessons you learned. in fact, perhaps you could start by sharing this blog? 

*****

As an author and speaker, my passion (was-and is again!) helping women and girls overcome Confidence Conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. With 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, I will once again use my profession, along with my experiences and training as a Biblical life-coach to help others. I’d love to connect with you on Facebook, Twitter,  Pinterest, Linked In, or Goodreads. Please visit catrinawelch.com to learn about my Supreme MakeOver Image Assessment events.


Get catrina’s books on Amazon

KNOW YOUR PURPOSE

Confidence, ,

Generally, a chair is for sitting and shears are for cutting. Both items are designed for a purpose. More specifically, a salon chair is for styling hair and office shears are for cutting paper. 

Your design gives insight to your purpose.

Likewise, you could define your own purpose in general terms or more specifically. While your general purpose has a significance in this world, if you do not recognize your individual design, you may not recognize your specific purpose.

Your general purpose is simple and is explained by Jesus himself in Matthew 22: 37-40: Love God and love others. He explains the Christian “calling” more specifically when He tells us to “go into all nations and share the Good News.” Still, this command can be rather general.

As a young church girl, the thought of going into another culture scared me. Foreign language is not my forte and I have a hard time understanding accents. My lack of desire to give up the comforts of home made me feel like a selfish Christian.

This shame held me back for a long time, until I recognized that the desires in my heart were a reflection of the specific way I was designed to accomplish my purpose.

Yes, we are all told to “go and share” but the mission field is different for each of us.

I love deep, meaningful conversations-especially while working hard beside a friend. Broken language frustrates me. If I were meant to go abroad, God would have given me an ear for accents and a love of travel.

God decided your purpose before designing your being. 

Our Creator doesn’t give token gifts like last minute Christmas shoppers do. Instead, He put specific talents inside each of us with a specific purpose in mind. 

Hair stylists and dentists both use hydraulic chairs, yet the chair that lays back would frustrate one and aid the other. In the same way, your design reveals your purpose. 

  • What are you good at?

Consider what you are good at without comparing yourself to anyone. This question can easily trip any of us up if we allow false pride and comparison to defeat our confidence, but it really doesn’t matter if someone else is also successful at what you do, and it doesn’t matter if you do it perfectly.

Your purpose is not about production, performance or perfection. It’s about using your gifts and talents to fulfill your general purpose of loving God (with everything) and others (as you love yourself).

It is usually false humility that holds us back from saying we are good at something. If we are afraid to be prideful, we won’t have the confidence to use our gifts to fulfill our purpose.

When you acknowledge your gifts, you are respecting and loving yourself, which makes it easier to love others, which is your purpose.

So, take a good look at your style. How were you designed? To help you find your talents, consider these two questions:

  • What comes naturally to you that is hard for others?
  • What do you enjoy doing?

Have you ever noticed how much you enjoy doing the things you are good at? Your talents were not only designed to empower you to fulfill your purpose and be a blessing to this world; they were also designed to bless YOU! They are God’s gift to you. He wants you to enjoy your life. 

Your gifts are a profound expression of God’s love. 

When you accept yourself for how you were designed, you are able to fulfill your purpose specifically. You are also able to fulfill your general purpose because you are able to love yourself for who you were designed to be and that enables you to love others for who they were designed to be. And without all the confidence conflicts that come with poor self-esteem and broken relationships, you are able to love God with so much more.

So, wether you are a pair of shears or a hydraulic chair, allow yourself to be lifted up and used for the greater good.

Get catrina’s books on Amazon

Click here to take my FREE quiz and learn your Image Identity.

I’d love to connect with you on Facebook, Twitter,  Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads

***** 

As an author and speaker, my passion is to help women and children overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, I love to use my profession, along with my experiences and training as a Biblical life-coach to help others struggling. If you want to make difference, too, would you share this blog?

Visit https://catrinawelch.com for information about my Supreme MakeOver Image Assessment events.


New Beginnings

Confidence, Life, , , ,

There is something about a fresh start that is truly inspirational. The pandemic has stretched us all but, somehow, the start of a new year–even if it still requires facial coverings and social distancing–is a breath of fresh air. 

2020 changed our perspective on life in many ways. Between the shut downs, protests, politics, loss and threats of sickness, we have all done a little soul searching. Although most of us would typically be setting goals and making resolutions right now, it seems that, this January, we simply want to start over. 

Change doesn’t really happen without new knowledge. What have you learned about yourself and those you love?
How you handle restrictions is a big indicator of your Img.ID:
 C: Get the facts (The Classic wants to know the statistics and follow the rules.)
N: Compromise (The Natural sees both sides of the problem and wants peace between everyone.)
D: Responsive (The Dramatic feels the factors deeply and is passionate about her convictions.)
I: Burdened (The Ingénue takes responsibility for her mistakes, and often for the mistakes of others.)
R: Shut down (The Romantic doesn’t want to be pressured, she’d rather pretend this is not happening.)
G: Cantankerous (The Gamine is one to reinforce the rules or completely rebel against them, depending on her view point.) 

Click the letter to learn more about that Image Identity, including What2Wear.

My husband and I are renovating a 1830s Captain’s House, which we are living in. As a builder, Ron knows that most people find it vey difficult to live in the middle of the construction. I get it, too. It’s messy and it’s constricting. I’m grateful to have had a little break while my daughter has been home for the holidays. But as soon as she goes back to college, we will begin the next phase of gutting, digging, lifting, replacing walls, floors, windows, siding… and this time we will have to go without a kitchen for a long time. 

But I’m excited. It’s fun to be part of the process and to witness the progress. I’m sure it’s easier for us than it is for his clients, because we understand the process and we think of the work as our stay-at-home-entertainment. The challenge is our exhilaration. 

I’m trying to think of the pandemic in the same way. 

I don’t like the CDC guidelines. Wearing masks and keeping distant feel too much like rejection and I’m tiered of being held back from connecting with those I love. 

I realize that the pandemic may hold us back from having our social lives for a bit longer, but I’m ready to for a new beginning with my attitude. I want to somehow enjoy the Covid-challenge like I do the renovation.

An attitude change is really just a change in perspective.

Most of us understand the virus’s threat at this point. We’ve witnessed the potential results and we’ve learned to face the challenge of avoiding the invisible enemy. All the restrictions have broken us down to the very basics of who we are, like a caterpillar stuck in a cocoon. We don’t need to be like a client frustrated with the mess of a renovation, instead, we can choose to enjoy the process of change and consider the challenge our exhilaration. 

We will not be defeated. God, help us endure to the end and develop in us the strength and maturity, so that when we are finally allowed to break free, we can soar like a butterfly–with no masks, and BE who we were designed to BE.

One thing I’ve learned from past construction projects is that when the house is done, people consider you “lucky” and so do you! We call it revisionist history. Somehow the hard parts get forgotten. 

One day we will tell the stories of 2020 as if it were all a great adventure. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to enjoy the rest of this adventure while it’s still happening because soon all we will remember is how lucky we were to be “stuck at home.”

How has the pandemic changed–or revealed to you–who you are? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter,  Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads  or visit my site at https://catrinawelch.com.

The Only True Source of Confidence

Beauty, Confidence, Life, , , , ,

Life may never be the same after this pandemic, but it sure is good to get back into the salons, even if it’s so much less personal! It’s just easier to cope with all the changes when our nails are finished and our hair is good, isn’t it?

As women, when we feel beautiful, we feel confident.

Achieving beauty is one way we attempt to become confident. Success, wisdom, popularity and strength are other powerful sources for self-esteem. Yet, the moment someone outshines, undermines, devalues or corrects us, we will likely feel defeated, diminished, devalued. 

Is there anything that will truly satisfy our need to feel good about ourselves?

I believe there is one true and lasting source of confidence, and it is Continue reading The Only True Source of Confidence →








The Best Solution to Discrimination

Confidence, Life, Personal Style, , , ,

Racial discrimination is a serious problem, but prejudice isn’t limited to color or culture. People always “judge a book by its cover,” this is a fact of life. If we are honest, we all make visual assessments and prideful assumptions based on personal experiences and preferences all the time.

  • We choose our communities, caretakers or political parties according to our beliefs, opinions and needs.
  • We use businesses, attend meetings and make friends only if we feel comfortable with those people. 
  • We decide which checkout line we will use according to our assumption of the cashier’s attitude and aptitude.

It is natural and normal to make decisions based on appearances. In fact, you and I decide if we like or trust a person, place or thing within six seconds. Is this wrong? Maybe, but this tendency to make quick judgments can save us time or keep us from danger. 

Sometimes our first impressions are completely off, and we miss out on an opportunity or relationship that we may have enjoyed. Other times our assessments are completely inappropriate and we make harsh judgments based on personal opinions or experiences that have nothing to do with the reality of what–or who–we are criticizing.  Continue reading The Best Solution to Discrimination →








The Most Common Question

Beauty, Confidence, , , , , , ,

The Covid-19 stay-at-home-order has put us all in casual dress mode.

I can’t remember the last time I dressed up–even our Easter photo opt. proved to be casual (at least from the waist down!).  My daughter didn’t even have dress shoes since she left college during her spring break, unprepared to come home for the year.

Even though I’m a Dramatic who loves fashion and makeup, my Natural side loves being stuck at home.  I don’t miss my heels at all!

How about you?

I’ve been rather amazed, however, at how much traffic one particular blog is still getting. Since I wrote it in 2012, it has always been my most popular post, but I am surprised that it is even more popular right now during a time when we are all so socially inactive.

Apparently, social distancing does not stop the Beauty Battle within.

Continue reading The Most Common Question →








Favor is Deceitful and Beauty is Vain

Beauty, Confidence, Faith, Life, , , , , ,

“Favor is deceitful, beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

As a young church girl, I thought this scripture meant that it was wrong to be beautiful, that I shouldn’t want the favor of anyone, and that I should be afraid of God.

Wow was I off!

Many other times in Proverbs it is said that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. The understanding of fear that I had as a child is not the kind of fear God desires of us. We should fear Him like we fear fire; a better word may be RESPECT.  When we don’t understand God’s heart–or fire–we will run  away from it instead of enjoying it.

When we are afraid of God we may work with all our might for His approval–that was me, I really had to wrestle with the meaning of this verse because I wanted to please God, but beauty was my passion. Continue reading Favor is Deceitful and Beauty is Vain →








Favor is Deceitful – 3 Reasons Why

Faith, Kids, Life, , , ,

In honor of all the moms who have ever had a child turn on them and say, “I hate you!” I dedicate this blog to you.

God’s Word  is a lot like a fire hydrant: far more powerful than a refreshing drink of water. Perhaps this is what Jesus was alluding to when He told the Samaritan woman that, “those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” in John 4:14

Let’s consider a small section of one verse for example.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Proverbs 31:30

What does the Bible mean by, “charm is deceptive” (or “favor is deceitful”)?

I write a lot about Proverbs 31 Beauty, but now that my life is so involved with the deceitful world of addiction, I feel as though Continue reading Favor is Deceitful – 3 Reasons Why →








3 Tips for Handling Stay at Home Stress

Confidence, Kids, Life, Personal Style, , , , , ,

When I’m stressed,  I shut down and shut up.

The term tongue-tied may mean one thing to you, but to me, it is a perfect metaphor for how I feel when I am hurting. Even when I want to talk, the words are held captive. It doesn’t matter how quiet I am, however, my body language still  speaks loudly. Usually what it’s saying is,

“Leave me alone!”

And then I feel hurt when people avoid me–especially my husband, of course. I want others to read my mind not my face. I want them to ask and then wait (a really long time if necessary). Then I want them to judge my heart and not my confusing words. And I want them to be on my side, even if they have a completely opposing opinion.

I want, I want, I want.

When we are stressed, we are selfish.

Continue reading 3 Tips for Handling Stay at Home Stress →