My granddaughter is entering the age of princess preoccupation. It’s a beautiful thing to witness the joy of a child who is excited about who she is. I dread the day she begins to loose her confidence and doubts her self-worth. But it happens. Somewhere along the line, imagination fades and reality sets in.
In our formative years we are constantly looking to and learning from everything around us for the sole purpose of self-discovery. Playing dress up is more about finding answers, then it is about looking lovely.
Am I lovely? Am I loved?
Unfortunately, we do not always get the answers we want, because we tend to look for our identity in dim mirrors. There are 3 particular mirrors that give us a poor reflection, yet we use them to judge ourselves all the time.
Of course we decide who we are and what we are worth by the projected opinion of those who are rearing us. They are the ones teaching us everything else, why shouldn’t we look to them to answer our deep, personal questions?
“Who am I?” Am I valued?
The problem with looking to our teachers and parents for these answers is that they may very well be struggling with self-confidence themselves. Many parents put a lot of pressure on their children regarding their appearance, accomplishments, strengths, abilities, aptitude or behavior because they are looking to the child to fulfill their own need to be valuable.
Throughout our lives we compare ourselves to others. This is natural and can be a positive motivation. It can also be very negative.
Far too often we devalue something about ourselves that we should appreciate, except that our sister or friend is not (tall, quiet, athletic, etc). How silly we are to look at someone else’s reflection to find our value! That would be like choosing an apple and being upset because it doesn’t taste like an orange.
There is no stopping the pressures on our identity by the culture around us. Confidence Conflicts are being placed before us all the time. Magazine covers in the grocery isle, billboards on the highway, commercials on TV, and yes, indeed, all the tiny glimpses into our friends’ perfect lives through the filters of social media. They scream at us, “get your act together!”
But I don’t like acting, do you?
I’m tiered of looking into dim, puzzling mirrors and feeling as if I will never measure up. There’s only one mirror that gives a clear reflection, that is where I will look for my true identity.
Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.1 Cor. 13:12
If you, too, have been seeing yourself poorly, I invite you to look to the the One who actually knows you completely. Think about it: the Maker of Heaven and Earth personally chose each and every attribute that He gave you. He deeply loves and dearly values you, His precious daughter. Perhaps it’s time we look to the KING OF KINGS for our true identity and start acting like a PRINCESS again.
As an author and speaker, my passion is in helping women and girls overcome confidence conflicts, especially those involving rejection, betrayal and loss. After 30 years in the beauty industry as both a cosmetologist and an image consultant, I love to use my profession, along with my experiences and training as a Biblical life-coach to help others struggling. If you want to make difference, too, would you share this blog and connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Linked In, Goodreads or consider having me speak at your next event. Visit https://catrinawelch.com for more information.