Tag Archives: fears

A Mother is Only as Happy as Her Most Miserable Child.

Confidence, Life, , , ,

The moment a woman becomes a mother, her life changes.  The very thought of life within her alters her existence. Caring for, nurturing and meeting the needs of her child becomes her purpose and priority. With the cry of his arrival, her needs no longer bear weight compared to his. Whether it’s the dark of night or the dawn of day, every tear he sheds arrests her heart until she can settle him down..

newborn-659685_640Every parent wants their offspring to become healthy, successful, independent men and women of good character. We may not have the best of resources ourselves, but we do the best we can with the physical, emotional and financial strength that we have to offer.

Like delivering them into the world, sending them out on their own can be extremely painful–especially when they are unhappy or unhealthy.

When my first child moved out, he was not a happy young man. My mama-heart received his anger and rebellion as personal rejection and failure. Granted, there were drugs involved, and I was very naive to the depth of the problems, so the emotional turmoil was extra intense. Part of me was refusing to believe that so much could be going wrong in the life of a child I had such high hopes for. The other part of me was tormented by my lack of control over the choices that were being made and my inability to fix–or even understand–the issues.

I became just as miserable as he was.

In fact, I became so consumed with this one child’s issues that I wouldn’t even hear my other children speaking to me. “What did you say?” I’d ask them until eventually they started saying “never mind” before they even finished their requests.  I was neglecting the kids I had left at home for the sake of the one who wanted nothing to do with me. And to what avail? My obsession with the miserable child was producing nothing except more misery.

I had to learn to let go of control because in reality, I had none.

I share this story with you on Mother’s Day weekend simply because I know many of you also suffer with obsession over your grown child’s choices. When they are little, we  don’t need a special holiday to tell us we are amazing. (We know we are because we wipe their tears and change their diapers and make everything better again!) But as they fight for their own identity or even pelvic physiotherapy, we feel as if we lose our own.  It’s during  these times that we could really use a little Mother’s Day love, yet these are the times that it’s least likely they will be making us cute cards and placing wilted flowers on our pillows.


If that’s where you are at today, I want to encourage you to keep being Mom anyway.

mother, son

We can’t fix all our childrens’ problems, but we can pray for them and believe in them. It only takes one cheerleader to change a person’s life and there is no-one who believes in our children’s success as much as their mother. Keep cheering.  Your child may not think you are amazing right now, but that doesn’t mean you are not, so don’t let his emotional state influence yours. Instead, keep influencing him because there’s nothing more beautiful than a mom who holds onto her joy even in the face of misery.
Happy Mother’s Day.

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Catrina Welch in an Inspirational Author, Speaker, Image- and Life-Coach. Her passion is to help women and girls discover Confident Beauty, which doesn’t wear off like makeup does!  Her latest book, Confident Beauty, Reflecting the One Who Made You, with the Images in your Mirror and in your Soul is now available as an audiobook.

GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR WOMEN ON CAPE COD:

Catrina will be hosting a Branding your Image Supreme MakeOver on Saturday, May 14th from 9-11am This image assessment class will be focused on helping business and professional women simplify their life with a Confident Closet. Non-professional women are welcome to attend as well. To learn how you can get in for FREE and to save your seat, please click here or contact Catrina today.

 

When Choices Change your Confidence

Confidence, Life, , ,

My uncle tells the story of his step-father’s violence towards him as a child. Being left-handed was unacceptable to my grandfather and he proved his intolerance for his little boy’s “rebellion” by trying to nail his hand to the table with a fork. Four pierce marks in the dinning room table served to reinforce my uncle’s fear of ever using the wrong hand again.

I remember when my life was abruptly stopped with a fork in the road. I was dancing down one path toward motherhood when suddenly my husband left me. A part of me wondered if God was sternly trying to change me–as if I, too, were being rebellious. Continue reading When Choices Change your Confidence →

What’s so Good About This Friday?

Confidence, Greif, Life, , ,

sundays cominThere is a common saying amongst Christians who believe the message of Easter: “It may be Friday, but Sunday’s-a-coming!”


Good Friday marks the day Jesus died to pay for the sin for all mankind. We call it “good” because He took the punishment that we each deserve. But on that particular day the Christ-followers couldn’t see the good at all. How could they? They had put all their hope in the rabbi that was just brutally killed before their very eyes.

It makes me think of the day my daughter died. Excruciating pain. Heart-wrenching fear. Unfathomable confusion and anxiety. There is not much good in grief.

But Sunday came.

Jesus returned from the dead and joined His disciples as they were walking home trying to console one another. They didn’t recognize Him as they shared their woes about what happened. When Jesus explained how the prophecies were actually fulfilled, they appreciated His wisdom but they were so caught up in their sorrow that they didn’t even realize it was Him.

That’s where I was, too, that dreary day in March 1999.

But Sunday came.

When Jesus broke the bread to serve the disciples, their eyes were opened to His presence.

“We are not human beings in a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings in a human experience.”

When I heard those words my eyes were opened. My pastor had come to help my family while we waited for the funeral home to take my baby away. He knelt at my side and held my hand as I rocked my little girl one last time. “I know it’s scary, but think of death as winter. If you didn’t know that spring was coming, the dry and grey landscape would be scary, too. But there is life after death. Trust God like you do His creation and He will carry you through this pain.”

God did help me just as He did the disciples.

If you are dealing with a difficult season in your life, hold on.

Sunday’s-a-comin!

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Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing our Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

 

 

Becoming Confident About Convictions

Confidence, Faith, Life, , ,

batman faceWhat a joy it was to help Faith Assembly of God with their celebration of Palm Sunday! I learned so much while painting the adorable faces of children from all over Hyannis. Some of their requests cracked me up. These kids were either adamant about having me create what they struggled to communicate, or they were timid and fearful to ask for what they wanted. I especially loved the little boy who wanted to be a vampire (even after I reminded him that Easter is about good defeating evil) and the older girl who asked her mom for permission to get a heart on her hand and then needed mom’s approval for the color it would be. Precious.

These kids made me think of my life as I have grown in my faith. There was a time that I thought face painting might be wrong and I was like the older girl–fearful of doing anything that might break the rules. I also had convictions–or desires–like the little boy (although mine were more in line with my nickname of “goodie two shoes”) that I would put my foot down and speak my mind about as if I knew it all. Take divorce, for example, I used to make people feel so guilty for their failed marriage. “You can always work it out; have some faith!” Then my (first) husband left me and, after I did all I could to keep him, I learned that I have no jurisdiction over anyone else’s choices and what happens in my live does not have to define me.

Life has a way of tweaking our convictions, doesn’t it? I know we can become more judgmental, bull-headed or timid if we allow our circumstances to build our fear, but I prefer to believe that if we are learn from life and work out our faith, confidence begins to conquer those fears and we become more balanced and peaceful. Kind of like the little boy who decided he didn’t want to be scary after all and had me paint Batman on his face instead.

If you are feeling the pressures of other people’s developing convictions, be careful to guard your heart from taking offence to their immaturity. Think of them like you would a child who is still figuring out what he believes and give them the grace to grow. After all, someone was patient with you in your developing years.

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Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their confidence conflicts; it is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Losing our Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available in book stores this spring. All of these books are available now at www.CatrinaWelch.com

Life Is Like an Oven Fire

Life,

The fire alarm went off at the same time I heard my daughter scream, “Fire, fire!”

“I’ve got to go. “ I told my sister-in-law and quickly hung up the phone. As I approached the top of the steps, my fear was confirmed.  The nachos were more than burnt–the oven couldn’t even contain the fire that was escaping through the seams of the door.

Unknown

My first thought was to get everyone out immediately, but suddenly courage came over me and I faced my fear head-on. I knew there was a fire extinguisher under the sink–my husband put it there 12 years ago when we built our house. I quickly grabbed it, pulled its plug and fidgeted with the strange device. My son saw my confusion and grabbed it from me. I thought I would make sure it still worked before opening the door, but Billy had more confidence than me and wasted no time at all.  “Ready?” he said, I nodded and opened the door as he pulled the trigger. With a big burst of white dust, the fire was gone. Like a well oiled machine the two of us saved the day… and, no doubt, the house.

 

One minute we are enjoying life­­­–cooking up something good to enjoy, and with the blink of an eye it is out of control. Perhaps that’s why Mamma always said “don’t play with fire” when all I wanted to do was have a little fun.

Some fires are good and enjoyable; they bring warmth, comfort and nutrition. Others are not–right from the get-go they are dangerous. But even the good fires need to be treated with respect or they can take over and destroy everything they touch.

What kind of passion is burning in your life today? Are there hopes and dreams that are driving you toward great things? Then be careful not to let anything or anyone shoot it down. Are there rich and rewarding enjoyments that have gotten out of control and become obsessions or addictions? Then be sure to cry out and let someone help you get life back under control.

As the kids and I opened windows and set up fans, my husband came in and pulled the oven right out of the house. The next day I had a beautiful new stove. I am so grateful to have a man who gets things done!

It may take my daughter a little longer to shake off the nacho jokes that she may have to endure for some time, but she is confident in her knowledge that once again God has worked all things together for our good, and there is no shame in making a mistake that can be redeemed.

If you once had a passion that was burning strong, but condemning critics and difficult circumstances have shot it down, maybe it’s time to stop choking on the fumes of your extinguishing dreams. Get some fresh air, maybe even get a new oven, but whatever do, keep going.

Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season you shall reap if you do not loose heart. (Galatians 6:9)

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Catrina Welch is an image- and life-coach whose message is not as much “what not to wear” as it is, “Know Who You Are,” which is the title of her book of guidelines for your personal image identity. Catrina has also written a Bible study to help women overcome their image issues. It is titled Supreme MakeOver: a Rich and Refreshing Devotional Experience. Her other books include Footprints Through the Sand: a Consolidation of Life-altering stories about Loving and Loosing a Trisomy-18 Baby and Confident Beauty: Reflecting the One Who Made You with the Images in Your Mirror and Your Soul, which will be available soon.

If you are interested in getting these books or having Catrina come speak at your event, you can contact her at www.CatrinaWelch.com or on facebook.